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"April" 2020 AMA Stream

🕑 Added 2020-05-12 20:35:43 +0000 UTC

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ContraPoints

Thanks L, this is all very insightful

L Katz

It's fascinating to learn that Tabby and Adria were intended to be cringe. As a cis, I was completely oblivious to all cues in the early videos that Tabby was even trans. (As a straight, I was also oblivious to the cues that she was gay. 😂) I did feel in-group cringe at her "bash the fash" mantra, because ugh, we all know *those* leftists. So there, I could relate. I also felt major in-group cringe (as a cis and a feminist) over Abigail Cockbane. Painfully accurate, and I'm just so sorry for all the Abigails in the world. I'm so sorry that you have to live with an Abigail in your head. She's a bitch and you should evict her. But Adria? I vibed her geek-girl style, and I thought she made valid points. I mean, yes, I understood "the mouthfeel" was an exaggerated, meme-worthy moment, but even so, I was sold. Flesh is flesh; it's not inherently gendered. I said I was hetero, but honestly, that's a bit of an oversimplification. Just as you are homo-romantic, I'm probably best described as hetero-romantic. Or something even narrower which has no name, because I'm not attracted to just anyone presenting masculine. It's a narrow subset of masculinity that turns me on. (Chads, for example? Big meh.) So the basic premise that sex /= gender, and that attraction is more about performance than physical attributes was one that I'd already arrived at via ordinary, boring old heterosexuality. I tend to believe that attraction is very narcissistic and aspirational. We are attracted to people who make us feel like the person we aspire to be. Perhaps that is why you find yourself attracted to straight trans girls; something about the way they treat you makes you feel like the person you aspire to be? For what it's worth, I think you will find your person. Depression gives us tunnel vision, and this nightmare quarantine situation isn't helping, but I have faith that you'll make it through to the other side. And I don't think you have to put off the possibility of a relationship until you've fixed your own damage. Like, yes, you need some basic capacity to be IN a relationship, to bring something to the table, but speaking from experience, the right relationship can melt away some of those insecurities. You need help seeing yourself, and a romantic partner can do that, if you trust their vision. Platonic relationships can help with that too, to an extent. From a straight cis girl to a gay trans girl, and from one ex-philosopher to another, I wish you all the best.

Creamer, I believe she will do another AMA in May or early June.