CarSeatHeadrest225
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June 2023 Newsletter: The Rainy Season
🕑 Added 2023-06-01 16:01:01 +0000 UTCIt’s May, and the laurels outside my apartment have started to bloom. I was surprised to see bees buzzing around the fresh blossoms, because I never noticed their blossoms from last year finally peacing out. For months, they just got blacker, thinner, and deader. They clung on through the long winter, and I did too, riding out what I came to think of as a “rainy season”, as my body slowly figured out ways of dealing with the new histamine sensitivity I developed last year. Actually, I didn’t cling on so much as let go, letting my body become a huge, mysterious world of buzzing nerves and churning guts. I was someone or something very small, observing this. In my mind there was a cave, a safe space, with an abiding presence grounding me there. Together we would peek outside the cave and see what the outside world was that day, what the weather was like. Sometimes, every meal I ate would trigger hours of nausea and intense anxiety, as the food slowly inched its way from station to station inside my body. I would feel sensations on my face and hands which morphed between heat and aches and tingles. I laid in bed with my eyes closed, visualizing these splotches form and un-form on my eyes, cheeks, lips, tongue. It was psychic rain. On rainy days, I couldn’t do much besides sit in that cave and try to keep dry. Most of last winter was a rainy season; I came out of it very slowly, and I’m still not fully out yet, though I’m down to an occasionally rainy day now.
Is this all coming out complain-y? The truth is that this year has been one of the most rewarding of my life. I’ve always been a “slow” person by nature. Being forced to drop touring, planning, and worrying as my operational zone shrunk to my bedroom also forced me to figure out what mattered most in my life, to look back on those deeper threads that connect me to my family, my friends, and the world. Watching and waiting in bed, I felt like I gained a great deal of clarity, which I have fought to keep hold of as my body gets more and more willing to leap back into the fray (and more resistant to the idea of taking it easy). I think what I want to hold on most is something I heard in a lecture from my favorite Rabbi, Tzvi Freeman: “it’s all people.” Meaning - wherever you go, whatever you’re trying to do, at the heart of it, it’s people you’re interacting with. Not organizations, not companies, not infrastructures or governments or target goals or deadlines - just other people. As someone who has lived deadline to deadline, deep in a web of coordinated schedules which, if failed to live up to, will cause something unspeakably horrible to happen, this idea is a healing balm.
So, people, thank you warmly for being here, for having supported us and listened to our music and come to our shows, and cared for our health and waited patiently through the rainy season. I (and, I believe, Andrew, Ethan and Seth) would like to use this platform not to provide content, but to be a person in front of other people. What you’ll see here will often be slipshod, experimental, half-assed. It will hopefully be fun; it will definitely be in and of the moment. I’m sure that it will eventually all show up on a youtube channel called “Carseatheadrest bootleg” or something like that, so if you’d rather not spend your money on this, you can feel free to wait. For those who feel like it’s worth it for the occasional burst of entertainment or wonder - welcome, we’re excited to spend the year with you.
Comments
Elliott
hey will, i just wanted to say that i really hear and empathize with your histamine struggles. my wife and i both developed mast cell activation over the last year and have been chronically ill to the point where my wife cannot work. there is a very limited amount of foods that we can eat. i can completely relate to what you described after eating and the intense anxiety it brings. i know this is a shot in the dark and im not sure you will ever see this, but i just wanted to emphasize that i understand these struggles and have made a LOT of progress since February of this year. i havent had a chance to read any of the other posts yet (just subscribed now to make this comment) but i hope you have made good progress too. again, shot in the dark, but im happy to talk more about my experience with MCAS/histamine sensitivity and the things i have done to treat it. ❤️❤️❤️
Missy
Last year my son gave me two songs to listen to and asked for my opinion on which one he should use for his "favorite song" question in the yearbook. I had never heard of Car Seat Headrest before, so I opened up Apple music and listened to 1) Something Soon, and 2) Beach Life In Death. I said, "Well, you don't pop pills or kick your dad in the shins, so I'm going to go with "Beach Life in Death." I listened to that song over and over again, and then Twin Fantasy (both versions) over and over again, and then each album and became so much more intrigued as I was falling totally in love with the band. For some reason I felt so connected, some songs I would feel something and even if it was a not a sad song, (like Body's) would cause an emotional reaction. I just felt something stir when listening to Will's words and would think, "is this bringing up something inside of me from when I was young that I forgot to remember how it feels?" It was just weird! When my son was learning to drive, he would get in the car and immediately play "Fill in the Blank" every time. I thought it was a great song, not knowing that someday, at 56 years old, Car Seat Headrest would be become very favorite band in the world! I've watched every live video I can find and I especially love the ones when Naked Giants joined the tour..outstanding!! I remember one of my kids friends asked him, "Whose a bigger Car Seat Headrest fan, you or your mom?" He said, "I think she is now." He bought me tickets to the last show that was played in Southern CA. He was up front going crazy and was texting me to go get him the painting that Andrew created during the show. He told me "at any price!" So, I sent my husband down and said, "Don't come back without it." He understood the assignment and waited at the merch stand until it showed up and closed the deal (my son had his 15 minutes of fame after the show when every girl wanted to have her picture taken with him and the painting and it hangs on his wall now!) We had tickets to the next show but it was cancelled and I was so darn worried about you Will, so I'm grateful to see this note of your journey and grateful to have this outlet to stay connected with the band until you're ready to hit the road again! Oh ya, when my son turned 18 I took him to get his first tattoo, the conjoined dogs! xoxo
Meatball Evader
Car Seat Headrest is the Car Seat Headbest
Alexander Feyerabend
This is so nicely written, I'm sending you my best vibes <3
nate!!
<3
Austinary
Pog
Christian Wilkens
<3
aztro
i’ll support anything you guys venture in to, this was a great read! so glad you’re getting better will
Evyn Martin
I love everything you guys do - I tell this to people and they don’t always understand but I love the way your brain works. Thank you for sharing this, truly. I’m glad to hear you’re doing better. :)
André Ribeiro
Thanks for this <3 Huge pleasure to know you're better
ethan !
GLAD YOU’RE DOING BETTER!!
James Dunne
Real happy for ya will, is it disrespectful to say that i can’t wait to see how this time influences your work later? maybe it is, but i guess most of our only real knowledge of you is adjacent to your art. anywho, whatever you guys do I’m sure you’ll kill it. enjoy june and pride! hope it’s not to warm out! - jamie
iriszs
beautiful words !!!
thepogobro
Glad to hear you're doing well and I'm really excited to see where you guys take this :D! surf's up!
Lia
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ :)))
GuyonaBorris
Im glad that its all getting better!!
Cate Golding
Glad things are looking up :)
kate
GLAD UR DOING OK 💘💘💘 SENDING BEST WISHES FOR UR HEALTH
Abbey MB
God, I'm so relieved you're okay dude. Excited to be here!
Katie L
so happy to read this will! stoked to be a part of this community <3
viktor ♰
Wish you and yours health and forever more
thorivox
We love you!! Keep taking it slow and doing amazing <3
Jim Kennedy
I wish you blessings and strength . I treasure your art and love your spirit. Looking forward to continue experiencing the fruits of the groups creative force. Peace.
Asher Mullins
Missed you so much Will! Glad you are well.
TheBop
I would be lying if I were to say I wasn't worried about your health at least a bit over the past year. I'm glad you are doing better Will and this Patreon will be a great opportunity for community. Hope to hear your wonderful voice whether that be on a record or a live stream or a concert. Your music has had such an impact on how I process my feelings so I am really thankful for that. Keep fighting through it all Will and like Rabbi, Tzvi Freeman said, it's all people.
AmIAmIAmIOnYourMind
Hello, hello, hello I’m so glad to finally be here
surfjerk
glad you’re doing well will!!! get better get will as you said…
drew
<3
sam
Hi
annie
so happy to hear from you guys and i hope will makes a full recovery soon!
Cassie
Beautifully written. I'm so excited to see more from you guys! You've been missed. :)
DonPlayzGamez
We love you guys!!! Glad you're feeling better Will 💜
Will Langbien
happy you're feeling a lot better now Will!!!!!!!
brutus
Exactly what i needed to hear right now. The thing you said about the world being made of people is so touching and real to me, most people out there really care about others and have only the best in mind for us, even if to us it just feels like they’re imposing due dates or spreading bad news. Thank you for this and hopefully you can stay dry out of the cave.
It’s Rammy
Gaming mike
peter gee chuck
This is beautiful, I’m so grateful to be here 🫶🏻
Dissymétrie
I'm excited to spend the year with you. Happy you're getting out of that cave.
iloveworms21
im glad you’re starting to feel better. hopefully the rainy days become few and far between, we’re excited to go on this journey with yall!
Blu Anoff
I’m so happy you stuck through the rain <3
Abagail Moss
you are so special to so many people. thank you all for being here
David Haycock
Your music is so special to me. Wishing you the very best
Bosnax
Happy too hear you’re feeling better!! And happy to be part of this community :3
Foxie Miller
hi
Raíssa Leão
I’m looking forward to be a part of this community! I don’t know you personally, Will, but I know you deserve to feel comforted, safe and content. Hope the next half of this year grants you a sigh of relief, allowing you to create freely and painlessly. I admire you endlessly and I wish you only the best. Take care!
Caden Barr
I KNOW YOU.
jess
so happy you're beginning to feel less awful and maybe more like you can manage your body's struggles. very happy to be here and be a person talking/listening to other people, a feeling i don't get too much these days :))
jay
i’m glad you’re starting to feel better!! 💯💯💯
maud
LOVE YOU GUYS!!! ❤️
marlowe green
chronic illness realness thank u for this beautiful perspective
anto
te quiero mucho will, so so glad you're doing better <3
Ruby Adkins
Im glad you've been feeling better! I was so glad that I got to see you guys at Stubbs in ATX
mads
very glad your rainy days are slowly coming to an end, heres to sunny days more often 🫶
kaci ミ★
Hi! glad to hear from you guys again :) It’s only up from here 🙈
RyansDreaming
I'm so glad that things in your life have been on an upward slope recently. Loved seeing you all on tour last year. I'm glad in the moments of difficulty you've been able to notice the things in your life that mean the most to you. That quote from Tzvi Freeman really stands out to me. Been struggling with that topic a lot recently, but it's good to remind myself that it truly is all people (even if they suck sometimes lol). That reminder brings me a lot of comfort. Hope you are doing well and continue to do well, looking forward to everything you guys are bringing forward these coming years! :)
tyler
2023 has been a very rough year in tandem with the last 2. However, we're all very happy to hear you're making headway in your recovery! very excited to experience what yall have to offer here, as well as in the future outside of it, yall have 0 deadlines to worry about here :]
Jake Baker
Looking forward to seeing where the Patreon goes, happy to be able to finally be able to support the band :)
Kyle Walker
happy to hear from you!! very excited about the use of this platform- can't wait to see all the content :-)
Les Anderson
May your days continue to be less rainy Will and Co. Much love <3
Ellen Woods
good to be alive and breathing and etc!
Alice
actually beautiful visuals in this post dude, can't wait to see all that there is to see on here <3
mello
Love you guys so much!
Emily Hertler
SO so good to hear from you! I think of you often and I'm so glad to hear you're doing well. Thank you for this offering and I look forward to future updates and more!
Noah Hoyt
So glad to be apart of something that is so dear to me. Car Seat Headrest changed my life.
Jojo B. Chávez
It’s funny how these periods of time where things seem to be at their shittiest usually come through with the gift of clarity, it is almost as if we, as human beings, require to be brought down to earth after an extended period of conventional joy in order to mantain focus on life, but in the end it is absolutely marvelous when we are able to see those happy return to basics as a chance to wait a little bit and ponder on what there’s here instead of looking forward for the next great thing. I’m glad stuff seems to be going better and that you could push through all of this while allowing your soul to be brought back to a place of serenity and as a new month approaches we can only hope that, now that the rain is over, the days will shine as brightly as the sun outside is.
Leah Schacht
Glad you're okay and wishing you a happy spring, Will. Say hi to those laurels for me.
