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July Newsletter
🕑 Added 2024-07-01 15:00:10 +0000 UTCIt happened - that much I can say for sure! On June 20th, we played our first show as a band since Covid knocked me off my feet for the latter half of 2022. We played on a beautiful evening at the Seattle Zoo, to a crowd of four thousand, I’m told. Andrew painted onstage, Mortis’s twin brother Leo danced in the crowd, and we played for almost two hours.
In the days after the show, I’ll come up often against the question of “how did it feel?” If I’m being honest, how it made me feel is exposed. I’m an introvert by nature; I take most pleasure dwelling in that part of the brain that stands aloof from reality, taking in bits and pieces and playing with them. That’s why I love writing music so much - it’s a lot of brain-work that produces tangible results in the real world. Performing, as a line of work, is less about creative thinking and more about continual problem-solving. You’re hustled about from one point to the next, under inauspicious conditions, following a shaky chain of communication, and the chief thought of the day is “Is this about to go south? Is this going south right now?” We've been a self-led unit through many years of touring, and this has led to a lot of mental scars in dealing with headache-inducing scenarios before, during, and after a show. I’m working on letting go of this particularly stressful mode of DIY (a dedicated tour manager on future runs will help), but even limiting my role to making the music, a lot of things are guaranteed go differently from all plans, and making sure the show continues on requires a level of vigilance reminiscent of driving at fast speeds along curvy mountain roads. While singing along to the radio at the top of my lungs.
And amidst all that, it is a joy to be onstage, playing for people who wear their love on their sleeves, and are so clearly exactly where they want to be. This is why it’s so complicated to respond to questions of “how was it?” It looks like I was having fun, because I was! But sometimes it’s like playing in a sandbox after you’ve walked through broken glass to get there. It still hurts afterwards.
I suppose I write this just to be open about my experiences. I will continue to do shows, as my health allows (which means ‘slowly’, as I definitely took a physical hit in the wake of this show). I take a lot of pleasure in small shows and impromptu performances, and to keep them feeling "small" and comfortable, sweating through the big ones are an inevitable part of my job.
Meanwhile, the summer rolls on. Happy July!
Comments
zara edwards
I got the honor of brining my little sister and my boyfriend’s little sister to the Seattle concert all the way from Lodi,Ca. Seeing you live was the first bucket list item i’ve been able to cross off my list. Getting to take my little sisters to their first concert too was even more special. Genuinely the best day of my life. I’ve been listening since 2020 and dreaming of the day I get to see you live. Take it easy and I can’t wait for more! ❤️
Jane
I was there. I felt moments of pure joy, which are pretty rare, so I feel really lucky to have been there. Thank yoo❤️
Gabi Emerson
Happy July! Your struggles with the logistics of your related stuff is so relatable and is one of the things that is most scary to me about touring again, especially when reading y'all's archival blogs, and even moreso as my own music stuff is picking up again. I'm generally not comfortable doing something if I don't have contingencies and I feel like a lot of touring is placing your trust in the hands of others and giving up your own control and that is scary. The zoo show was beautiful and that was hands down my best birthday ever because of how calm and peaceful it was, so thank you so much for helping it be so great. 💜💖
Luka Buchanan
glad to hear it was at least in part a positive experience! super jealous of everyone who went, it sounds like it was a fucking awesome show. the Archive Sundays honestly leave me with a secondhand stress response because i simply cannot fathom the mental upkeep of the seemingly ever-shifting rug of tour life. in my early twenties i was more actively involved in my city’s music life and gigged a bit - i’m talking like three times a month at most - and i feel, now in my late twenties, like i’m still recovering from that period in my life. obviously i was not in the position of being an actual band, or even someone the audience even came for - still, the adrenaline of exposure, the thrill of attention, then a kind of post-[redacted] embarrassment… i can’t imagine it in the context of fame, tour, monetary stakes!!! i hope it’s still thrilling and creatively energising and moving, even after doing it so much. happy July 🫶
_Fentaddict_
Happy July!!!!
everette
thank you for an incredible experience and for sharing your reflections, i can’t imagine how draining and demanding the cycle is, and juggling health complications on top of it. hope u stay cool this month, and sending peace and love ♥️
Aiko
Happy July!!! I hope the joy fills you with light and love.
alo
so happy to hear🖤 glad you're feeling well and i hope to get the chance to see you all sometime in the near future. happy july!!
oddtrovert
thank you for making my first concert ever amazing will, i hope your health stays well
Liam Gonzalez
Happy July! Hope you have a good one! <3
