CarSeatHeadrest225
patreon
Gratitude essay: Patience
🕑 Added 2024-11-04 17:50:25 +0000 UTCI was born just outside of what they’re now calling “the anxious generation”, kids who grew up in the era of smartphones. The idea that personalized screens could be a constantly accessible form of entertainment was only just starting to creep into the collective conscious as I entered high school. Before then, there was TV, books, music, and in-between those, a lot of silence, sitting around, and waiting. It was far from an idyllic, carefree time; I remember encountering intense surges of anxiety, energy with no place to go, as I sat in rough grass watching bugs swirl around, or waited for my parents to be done shopping at some far-off specialty store (this was before Amazon, too), or tried to feel anything but restless while viewing some site of natural splendor we’d driven two days to see.
What I’m only realizing now is that in the midst of all that suffering of boredom, seeds of incredible potency and power were being planted within me - the seeds of Patience. Patience is a superpower granted to all of us that enables us to ride through waves of anxiety and impatience - “what should I do, what am I doing now, what’s happening next?” - protecting us inside a waterproof boat, balanced and at ease, resisting all impulses to leap towards the next thing.
Patience exists inside of me now, not as a concept but as a tangible thing, solid and stable as a rock, which I am always free to reach out and touch. When I do, I feel as though I’m riding on a very ancient, very wise being, whose well-worn brow is broad enough for me to sit comfortably on. Their presence fills my bones, restrains me from moving too quickly, and puts me into a knowing contact with my body, and with the earth and objects around me. The mental storm of “could” and “should” subsides, replaced by the voice of Patience, both calm and authoritative:
All will happen in time,
One step at a time.
Keep listening.
Check your posture.
Comments
Brendan Grieshaber
will, the man you are
Mildackee
my spine will become warped..... I won't be able to stand up straight...
Luka Buchanan
mmm, so true!!! like loosening the grip on the thoughts - letting them be what they are (scared), and redirecting that internal energy into the task… i feel like this came up in Biblical Wanderings too! have you heard of IFS therapy? earlier this year i read No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz and i really liked the framework of the mind/brain being an internal ‘system’ of ‘parts’, each with equally important roles, none of which are ‘bad’. i found that it facilitates more compassion and curiosity for ‘bad thoughts’ - starting a dialogue with them: why are you scared? what do you feel you are trying to protect me from? however, i did start to feel fatigued from thinking so many thoughts and thinking about the thinking all the time…
Car Seat
Oh yeah, I'm definitely familiar with those thoughts. It's often a wrestling match with them, when I ask myself "what are you grateful for?" It can be quite a while before I remember not to wrestle, and to let them pass through instead, dropping underneath to see what's there. It's scary to have chaotic thoughts in your head, being so loud and so demanding. Eventually I realized: why are they so loud, so insistent? Because they don't have any control over me. They can't make me stop what I'm doing; they can only try and scare me away from it. Good luck in trying out some new practices. I'll be interested to see what you come out of it with.
Emy Head
This is beautiful Will, thank you for these incredible words of wisdom. And thanks for reminding me to check my posture, too!
Luka Buchanan
will! i’m so excited for this series! as always, your frankness and grace with writing is so special and valued. i find the practice of gratitude so challenging - you make it sound so gentle and natural but i’m sure there’s more difficulty or grief in the process than it seems. i always feel such an internal push against open-heartedness. i’ve been seeing clinical psychs for about 10 years but simple gratitude practices just elicit such chaotic thoughts and feelings and i’m quick to switch it off! so i will try to challenge myself this month too by sitting with whatever discomfort comes up. so far it’s just “you’ll fail/you’re so bad at this/you’ll do it wrong/you’re so selfish” lol but i’ll try to have patience for it anyway :’) also i think about the device thing all the time… i was born in 96 and ~devices~ weren’t really a thing in my life until age 15 or so - i had a screenless hand-me-down ipod which took over my walkman at some point, and remember reading fanfiction on the family computer at age 12 lol, so i probably had more screens than an earlier 90s baby. but media in general just took longer - winding tapes back, burning CDs & putting songs on an ipod, waiting for the DVD store to get certain movies in (or waiting for someone else to return it). i wasn’t a library kid until i was a teenager but i wish i was! i couldn’t say how it affected me vs a baby born in 2018 but i do think about it a lot. i think i was more patient as a kid…
Carmen✨
It’s been that time of year where I’ve had to practice a TON of patience … for students and their families, my coworkers , my friends , my family , and especially for myself. Children need SO much patience and unconditional love, and I feel like I’ve gotten pretty good at being patient and loving and understanding with them (it helps I don’t have kids of my own … because some days I do lose my cool with my 4th and 5th graders and it’s so exhausting …) But now I need to work on giving adults (including myself!) the same grace :’) we never stop growing and learning after all!
Julia Miller
this made me feel calmer
Marshall
I wish I had a little bit of patience, as I was born in the 'smartphone kids generation'... im still working on it tho:)
Prometheus
I think this era of my life has been focused around patience. I feel like, to some extent, the universe is teaching me to slow down and exist in the moment, though we all know how hard that can be. Some days I’m more patience than others, and some are filled with the endless dread of feeling like I’m not doing enough, like things aren’t moving fast enough. I graduated college this year and since then I’ve felt this relentless pressure to get a job, to make more money, to advance in my career; and yet I wonder if this is what I really want to do. After pushing for four years, I’ve felt I needed a break, though taking a break doesn’t make me feel like I’m making progress anymore, and my mind starts racing. Then I breathe. Everything will happen in time, I just need to be patient. Thank you for your essay, I think I needed to hear it today.
Detritora
Beautiful!
Kamil Tomaszewski
Patience is one of the few things i think i lack in life, since i can remember people always told i was short tempered. I have been learning to keep calm, trying to complete tasks i would normally find tedious and monotonous, doing so brought me great results. I got a guitar for christmas at the age of 10, when i tried to learn how to play on it and saw no major improvements after 3 months of playing, i decided to quit it, i couldnt stand the fact that i spent 3 months on something and i wasnt already perfect at it. At the age of 14 i decided to pick it up again and try to learn it, its been about 2 years and even though im still not that great, i am determined to keep trying, i appreciate and notice every single smallest improvement i make.
Gonty
Not me sitting up after reading this- But seriously tho this is a beautiful message! I used to struggle with patience immensely, especially since I have terrible ADHD, but my first real relationship kinda taught me patience. I still struggle from time to time, but ultimately I feel that was a skill I learned in that relationship. Lately I have found that I’ve been experiencing a lot of nervousness/anxiety lately and I recently found that taking long late night walks have been helping me, it gives me time to take in the air and to watch over the night sky as I walk through my neighborhood listening to my music.
frankie
writing this on my smartphone while distracted from cleaning my house — so i am no master of patience, but this essay is incredibly needed. i think in a time where everything moves so fast ie get done with school, get a job, make money and then die, we all need that balanced rock of patience to sit on. i admire the perspective from someone who grew up with the creeping idea of phones, whereas my generation was smack dab in the middle of its invention so we’ve never really known boredom to its full extent. definitely a wake up call though, i know i need to get used to the uncomfortable silence of boredom and stop escaping into a screen. working with kids has built up my patience a lot though lolol. being patient with others has helped me learn how to be patient with myself as well. lovely essay :)
Zachary Medlin
great read to start my day :)
pheebs
💗
raven
my posture is terrible, i have scoliosis-- "my back is killing me baby, i don't have any comfortable chairs"
Fionn
Love this
