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a guide to flaming out: say "no" more

🕑 Added 2025-11-20 19:52:31 +0000 UTC

Comments

Ian Danskin

sometimes a healthy boundary *does* let someone down

Adam S

Sorry I'm a bit late to this, but I'm struggling somewhat reconciling this with GTFO: State of the Universe and figuring out when "No" shifts from "setting healthy boundaries" to "letting someone down and losing trust". How to balance wanting to help more (and being able to), without wanting to be open to be taken advantage of - especially if that isn't happening yet.

Gordon Chamberlain

I feel like this is group therapy. Thank-you

Ace

Congratulations!!!

Elizabeth Chacon

I needed this today... I need to say no today

Tom S. Tea

Sometimes I still feel guilty for quitting my shitty call center job without something new lined up, even though it would have killed me, and I'm doing a lot better now (even lined up a new job!)

Daniel Osswald Claro

i cant explain how important GTFO is becoming to me

Florian

I'm not sure if I consider this a spoiler but it still makes me want to play the game. Thanks, Ian!

Pablo Meier

I joined Nebula on your referral a while back and enjoyed it, but only got to "Lady Eboshi is Wrong" last week. I think it's a good dual to this, where "Saying No can be kindness and loving in its own way" maps a bit with "we can understand and appreciate Lady Eboshi's motivations, skills, and achievements, and still take the side against hers." I also got mad at YouTube and Ghibli, because it's an amazing video.

Zoe Storm

This video feels a laser-guided orbital strike aimed precisely at me, specifically. I have enormous problems with saying "no" and this hits very much close to home.

PC Escobar

GTFO? NO! I mean, YES! Damn, this is confusing.

Ian Danskin

ok it sounds like you should definitely not bump your Patreon pledge

SilentDis

Fuck you, Ian. Fuck you so hard. I don't make much, but I make enough. I live a paupers life because when people ask... I say yes. I solve the immediate problem. I don't think about it. I make barely $60k a year. I live in a rundown, spider-infested, converted attic. I have shitty clothing that doesn't fit.. and this year, 'yes' came to $24,580. So far. I know it's a goddamn problem. I know... I'll never see that money. This has been weighing on me for MONTHS or I wouldn't know that fucking number. I know 'no' is a valid, real answer. And yet, here I am. That number has only gone up since I realized the problem. I'm gonna have to confront this. It can't continue. I know that. Doesn't mean it won't hurt. Sometimes the only way out of pain is through. I didn't want this, not now. Not ever, really. And here you go, making me question myself - not for the first time with your damned videos. How dare you make me force myself to be a better person. Twice. Asshole. I'll have to bump my patreon amount if it works. Damnit.

The Wizard Sexy

"It frames boundaries as... Kind." You've unlocked something in me, Ian. You found something I didn't know was there and you gave it permission to be. I'm so glad that you decided to keep creating, because the things you make are one of a kind.