FanHarem
patreon
Store in Danmachi: 20
🕑 Added 2023-03-13 18:36:03 +0000 UTCTitle: The Successful (?) Date
"So? Let me get this straight."
He twists the knob of the tap and rinses off the soap over the dishes before setting them aside on a tray. With a smile, Syr would wipe the plates dry. And on the other side, Ryuu continues to lather the dishes with soap and pass it on to Jackal like a well-oiled machinal process.
"Is this your idea of a date?" He sighs to himself. How young he was yesterday to think he finally scored a date with a cutie. The wench wants his money and physical labor! 'And I even went into the dungeon early for this...' He moans to himself.
"A date?" Syr cocks her head sideways with a mischievous grin, "Jackal-san, aren't you a little too straightforward? I just wanted to spend some time and get to know you."
"Then, lady, what the fuck do you think a date is?" He sighs for the umpteenth time while Syr's smirk widens to his dismay. Meanwhile, the silent lime-green-haired elf next to him looks at him with disapproval and speaks softly, "Mr. Jackal... please refrain from utilizing such language."
"Oh, I don't mean anything personal by that. They get it," Jackal looks back with a scowl as Lunoire and Chloe lean on the counter with bored looks while Anya hums and continues to dice vegetables with May.
"If the two of you are so bored why not take Syr's position and let us go out?"
The two look at him with sadistic smirks and Lunoire giggles, "You fell for her words, no? Don't worry. We've met a taste of defeat at her hands many times... welcome to the group."
"I don't want to be in the group!" Jackal groans.
Chloe perks up slightly and for a moment, Jackal is sure he saw her eyes light up, "Well, your wants are of no concern. You're simply one of us..."
"Hee~ You're making me look like some sort of a witch!" Syr pouts and every set of eyes, including Ryuu's, land on Syr.
May even cut a small section of carrot the slightest bit thicker by mistake.
"But you nyare a witch, nya!" Anya states bluntly.
"So? Jackal, I hope you aren't eyeing any of us for... hmm, what did your cute pallum follower say? Chloe, you remember it?" Lunoire questions as Chloe places an index on her lips and hums loudly. Her pure black feline tail swaying slightly in apparent delight attracts Jackal for a moment.
"Ah, I remember," Chloe nods with a 'surprised' smile, "A degenerate hope of harem that even old dwarves are not free of."
"And goddesses," Jackal supplants, "Don't forget goddesses."
Others in the kitchen come to a quiet stillness while Ryuu looks at Jackal with a frown, "That's not a considerate dream, Mr. Jackal."
"Dreams don't ask for consideration or feasibility," Jackal grins, "You have them. Next, you either achieve them or let them go, that's all!"
"Oh, I see," Syr narrows her eyes without losing a smile, "Jackal-san is a pervert who got his way and is now trapped in the kitchen with all of us beautiful waitresses. Many will consider this a dream of theirs, right?"
Ryuu discreetly leans the slightest bit away as Jackal chuckles, "If being called a pervert gets me my dream harem, so be it. I'm just gonna live like usual. Bothering by what strangers have to say or think is just a recipe for a disaster."
"And..." Jackal looks around. His gaze falls on everyone. Syr looks away shyly. May grin back. Anya's tail swishes a bit more. Lunoire raises her fist while Chloe winks at him. And Ryuu averts her gaze.
"Yeah, it's kind of a dream come true," He chuckles out loud before nudging Syr's shoulder, "We're even. Oh, and thank you for helping with the workload, Ryuu."
"It is only natural," the prim and proper elf who mysteriously lowered herself to become a waitress replies calmly, "Yesterday Mama forced you to take on my side of the dishes. I should return the favor now."
"Right," he shrugs and continues to work peacefully.
"You lazy nuts! Get out here and greet the customers before I swing by to the kitchen!" Mia's voice booms as Anya, Lunoire, and Chloe yelp simultaneously before skipping out of the kitchen.
Ryuu takes her time to clean her hands and she nods at Jackal.
"If indeed you don't mean those words and it's just a manner of speaking then I apologize for speaking out of turn."
"No worries!" Jackal waves at her dismissively, "But I do hope other elves become as understanding as you. Most of them are superior nutjobs!"
Ryuu blinks and nods with a ghost of a smile hanging on her lips as she leaves.
"Hmm!" Syr echoes a noise as he looks at her.
"Hmmmmm!" She continues to stare at him with her blue-greyish orbs revealing absolutely nothing but contempt.
"What?" Jackal blinks in surprise and looks up and down over her, "I didn't accidentally splash you with water, did I?"
"HMMMMMMMM!" The vibration of Syr's lips grows in volume as May tosses them a curious glance while the grey-haired waitress continues to stare at Jackal with puffed cheeks.
But seeing his innocent and curious look, she exhales deeply and mutters while drying the dishes, "You really don't hold back, Jackal-san, do you?"
"Oh? What'd I do now?" He shrugs, "I don't think I was out of line with anyone here. Trust me, it was very hard, too." He shakes his head as Syr gives him a sidelong glance, "I think Lili-chan is on to something. You should be tied in a place... you are very dangerous."
"Give me a break," He rolls his eyes, "It's not like I'm just 'collecting' women. I barely know anyone enough to date and who'd just jump at a chance of having a relationship with me? You all think like I'm one of those heroes in some legend that just attracts chicks."
"Oh, Jackal-san, do you read a lot of legends?" Syr questions with an interested expression.
"None," He replies without skipping a beat.
"None? Not even Argonaut?" Syr grows curious, "Many children know of Argonaut. There are so many legends surrounding the First Hero, after all."
Jackal smiles at her but refuses to elaborate.
"Do you hate heroes?" She continues as he shrugs.
"I don't hate them. Oh, and don't misunderstand. I don't scorn or look down on them either. I don't know them. I can't hope of knowing them. So I cannot hate them."
"Then you should read more, no?" Syr giggles.
"What an elegant solution, Syr," Jackal scoffs a chuckle, too, "So, I suppose, if you have dishes to wash. You should, right? I'll order some juice and wait for you outside then."
"No!" Syr squeaks, "I suggest a truce, yes! A truce!"
"And how do I benefit?" Jackal sniffs haughtily.
"Well..." twirling her finger across her grey locks, Syr adopts a demure look and shies from his gaze, "I could... help you, too. In various things... to some extent."
Setting the cleaning towel aside, Syr glances at May who is simply too consumed with cooking before she tips forward as she brings a wave of delightful lilac scent with her. Her shoulder presses with his the slightest bit and she whispers into his ears while drawing a hot breath, "I can tale the legends of other heroes for you. I'm sure... if it's me, you'd love hearing about them."
Her hot whisper tickles his senses in all the right way. For a moment, Jackal's cultured mind almost lose its defenses. Her soft smile, her hot sigh, the subtle scent of her body, and the playful touch of her shoulders... not to mention the curious affection in her eyes that convey nothing but sincerity.
"I'm sure... I'd love it if you speak of them," Jackal gulps ever so quietly. He doesn't have all that great of an experience with women but that never stopped him from chasing his dreams. Yet, his desires by themself would not let him agree to this very rewarding offer, "But, I won't. Those tales are not for me. Let it brighten the eyes of a child who's not marked by the world's 'kind' gestures."
Syr steps back silently but her smile never drops. Instead, she giggles, "See? I'm getting to know you just fine and... I'll find something you like soon enough."
"Hoh? Can you find a harem in its natural habitat?" Jackal giggles as her cheeks inflate and her grey pupils, for once, flicker oddly in a hazy glow when Jackal gets back to his work.
---
'Last night... with Jackal-sama touching my soft bits~ Rubbing them... anh~! He is such a bad man!' Lili huffs with a quiet blush as she remains seated on the sofa. Quickly reorienting herself, her brows lock a bit deeper.
Despite the joyous week, despite the pleasure and peace... Lili continues to feel anxious deep within her heart.
Her Familia.
They always track her down and this time... spurred by Jackal, his easy-going nature, and all the laughs they shared, Lili feels she may have been reckless. She may not have protected her identity as well as she could. She could be found any day. She could be caught any day.
'Jackal-sama may get hurt any day because of me...'
"What should I do?" With Jackal not around her, a moment of despair and fear sets in. She did firm her heart to take action herself but her dreadful memories would resurface every time. Her initiative would falter. Her courage that Jackal builds with his smile and laughter... would break and crumble under fear and hatred.
She quietly presses her face into her hands. The empty house feels colder.
A thought suddenly flicks in her mind.
'Practice! Yes! Jackal-sama said he will practice marksmanship with me and we're already set to enter the dungeon tonight so we can train quite a bit!'
With this thought set, she leaves the residence and locks after herself carefully as Jackal taught her. Her lips sing a soft tune under her breath as she imagines herself training with him. Learning alongside him. They would sweat together. Eventually tired, they will lean against each other for support~
'Jackal-sama... is such a degenerate... making me think so many naughty things even now... gosh! He needs to be detained... in my bedroom... for me. For me alone... no one else. Not even Syr!'
This is the second reason she hurried to the Hostess of Fertility. She does not want to lose Jackal. Anyone with eyes and the gift of comprehension could see how effortlessly Jackal blends with the waitresses there. Part of it most likely not trying to harass them sexually as many other adventurers tried but the other half is...
'How can Jackal-sama just joke to such an extent and push boundaries? It's like he isn't even a normal human who is raised right...'
In her anticipation, annoyance, and imagination, Lili fails to catch sight of a group that follows the same path she takes the entire time. In Hostess of Fertility, she finds an amused Mia directing her to where Syr and Jackal left and she leaves quickly again.
---
"Alright, I'm sure now! Like me, you have no grasp on the concept of dates," Jackal continues to scoff and complain but Syr only sticks out her tongue as she giggles and walks beside him across the street of Daedalus.
"Is that so? With how forthcoming you are Jackal-san, I do hope you'd take the lead," she covers her smile with her thin fingers and squints her eyes pleasantly.
"Not gonna fall for that again!" Jackal crosses his arms and grumbles again, "I've been used! My honor tarnished! No elf shall look my way again and all dwarves shall laugh! Syr... you ruined the best bachelor in the city! Congratulations!"
This only makes Syr laugh a bit louder as she tiptoes ahead, "Lucky me~!"
"Sure, sure, the plight of men delights you. I get it. Any man lucky enough to have you might also pray for his life daily," Jackal scoffs before looking at the basket in his hands with a smirk, "But I have to say... I think my techniques improved under May's ritual today..."
"Cooking," Syr corrects him with a smile.
"What did I say?" He looks back in confusion, making her purse her lips.
"Anyway, let's see if they like it a bit better than usual or not," Jackal grins widely, "Oh and Maria is always huffing about the boys pulling the girl's hair. I might impart my wisdom to them!"
"Jackal-san?"
"Yes?"
"Since you admitted you have no dating knowledge... what wisdom can you even impart?" Syr blinks cutely while Jackal stops in his tracks.
Then he glares at the source of all evil in front of him. She just HAD to ruin his image of leading a group of young men into the path of adulthood... woah, did that come out wrong!
"You know, Loki's looking way cuter than you right now, Syr," he picks his pace and walks beside her.
The woman has only put a facade of bashfulness to make use of the gentle heart of men like him! The woman is true playfulness given form!
"Is she now? Well, given how you constantly complain about Loki-sama, I should wear this compliment as a badge of pride."
She leans a bit closer to him, "Maybe... you'd pin that badge on me... right here..." She glances down as she speaks to gesture at her breasts before smirking mischievously while Jackal looks at her. Unimpressed.
"That ain't gonna work again! If I fall here, those Goddesses of Beauty are going to have a field trip with the treasure that is my booty..." He resolutely defies Syr's charm... to hope to excel for divine charms.
Syr's smile fades ever so slightly as she looks away. The thick locks of her bounce at her steps, making her expression slightly inscrutable.
"Would that be alright, Jackal-san? I hear that... all such Goddesses are nothing but manipulative... and are known for more crass insults, too. You've been our patron for a few days but you liven things up with Mama. Are you sure... you want to be used by them—"
"Oh, you mean about them being sluts and whatnot?" Jackal scoffs, "What should I think Gods and Goddesses do? Remain virgin like the rare few ones? Ain't that hypocritical for someone whose 'heroic' ideals are a harem?"
Syr observes him from the corner of her eyes as he smiles and looks ahead, "Besides, if it doesn't work because of other issues then that's that. But I'd like to give it a try. Maybe we'll click? But how would I ever know if I don't try?"
"Hee?" Syr drawls, "I heard that Lady Ishtar has no values whatsoever."
"Oh? So? Bitches don't have values until collared, so I hear?"
"Hmm... Lady Aphrodite is not very well-known here but I once heard Mama talking about her. It's said that she tries to persuade the virgin goddesses into falling for their perverted desires..."
"Oh, cool, someone should. Virginity is cool and all but they are missing out on some good stuff. I hope they find a great partner, I guess," Jackal smiles fondly as he recalls Roberta. His first time may be scandalous but he remembers every moment of their sexual escapade.
Syr thins her lips in apparent displeasure while her voice turns faint.
"I hear Lady Freya is the worst of them all... she's led kingdoms to ruin for sake of her entertainment. Countless lives were lost. And you... you help everyone you can individually. She's far from your ideal goddess, no?"
Jackal works his jaws a bit. A slightly thoughtful expression takes root in him.
"To be honest, I don't really care. I care for Lili, the kids, Maria, and her orphanage... I don't see the top Familia harming them so I think I'm cool. It sounds delusional but if I do... I don't know, have her, and then she does something like that, I'll probably just leave. No point in being the guy who thinks he can change the girl of his dreams."
He then laughs, "But being hypothetical allowed me to think things a bit though, thanks."
Syr looks back with a soft smile, "It's my pleasure."
"So?" Jackal walks beside her again.
"So?" Syr tilts her head.
"Tell me a bit more about yourself, of course," Jackal rolls his eyes, "You've talked about my stupid dream. Time to hear yours."
Syr takes a long and hard look before musing, "Jackal-san... you learn really quick! You're still trying to turn this into a date?"
"I don't give up... but I do take a hint after ten times so you're warned," he shrugs before grinning, "So? Spill it! You must have an equally embarrassing dream, don't you? Everyone has one."
Syr scrunches her brows and states in a determined tone, "I refuse to answer!"
"You must!"
"I refuse it nine times more!" Syr smirks as Jackal's lips drop for a moment before he starts to laugh.
"I guess... that's fair. But I said I only take a hint after ten times! I didn't say I give up!" He grins.
"Pray tell that number," She hums.
"I refuse! And one day, I'll hear all about your ambitions. With a snack maybe. It's bound to be embarrassing given how defensive you are," He chuckles as she scoffs under her breath.
Between their playful banter, shared jokes, and a topic or two to discuss, and at a moderate pace they strolled, they eventually reached Maria's Orphanage.
---
"So, instead of pulling ponytails, pull their panti—"
Rye, Ossian, and a few other boys sat in the backyard with a look of focus as Jackal stood in front of them and spoke in a calm, teacher-like demeanor. Alas...
Syr waves a thick book that she brought with both of her arms and Maria waved another equally thick book into his stomach from the side.
*Bang*
Syr and Maria both maintain a calm, stoic look before giving the kids a look that sends them running fearfully as they pray for their Elder Candy Dispenser's survival.
"Wait! The next thing is if they hit you back, you're gold—"
Maria sighs and tosses the book on Jackal's back. It barely hurts him but it doesn't hurt to pretend, right?
"Oof!" He groans and sprawls on the ground, making Maria mutter, "Jackal-san... maybe teaching the kids isn't up your alley. How about you help me with washing the dishes as Syr teaches them?"
"Again?" He feels like crying while Syr smirks victoriously, "Hehe~ That's what you get to try and teach stupid things."
He turns around and lies on his back while looking at the two of them, "That's a lesson of life. It is proven that when a boy pulls a girl's hair, he likes her!"
"And what was the rest? Something about pants?" Maria smiles gently as Jackal grows silent.
His instincts suggest he should stay quiet. And this time, he will accept his body's warning.
"Sorry, I'll try not to act this excited in front of kids again."
The duo blinks in surprise, "Just like that?" They gasp.
"Just like that," Jackal sits up and looks at the kid playing catch on the street, "I guess, in my excitement to bond with them, I forgot that raising them right takes priority. So," he looks back at Maria, "Sorry for almost wasting your efforts."
Maria sighs softly before taking a moment of rest and sitting beside Jackal as she pats the area next to her and smiles at Syr.
Puckering her lips for a moment, Syr tiptoes to the other side and sits next to Jackal, instead.
"It's just that those children are my life," Maria doesn't pay much attention to Syr's antics and reveals, "But they like you. I said it before. They all like you and Syr very much! They talk about the two of you, too. Some girls want to become a waitress so that they can bring free food to the orphanage," she chuckles, "And while many boys are still set on being adventurers... they admire a man like you who shares things. They want to be strong and share their happiness with other orphans."
Jackal smiles at this, feeling more than content.
"I'll try and somehow get the kids under some apprenticeship before they enter the dungeon," Jackal affirms to himself out loud. His gaze travels them as they chase after each other. Truly... he doesn't want to see them get hurt but the world doesn't revolve around his whims. If the kids have the desire to dungeon dive, he wants them to be prepared for the consequences is all he hopes for.
Syr sneaks a glance at Jackal and so does Maria. Beneath the veneer of brash youth is simply a gentle soul that likes to help as much as individually possible and a heart as simple as they come. His smile remains mesmerizing under the setting sun. The peaceful longing in his eyes seems to hide depths waiting to be unraveled.
'Not a hero, huh,' Syr smiles, 'No, I believe... he said something about not wanting to read the tales expressly. I wonder why...'
"Hm~!" Maria suddenly lets out a soft hum, attracting Jackal's and Syr's attention as she pockets out a very familiar candy. The same one that Jackal gave her the first day.
"I'm tired of keeping it safe," Maria giggles softly and childishly eats the candy before letting out a pleasant noise, "But I think it tastes so much better now."
Jackal merely smiles and looks back at the kids.
'Oh? That's a familiar kid...' He muses.
'Wait, that's my—'
"Jackal-sama!" Lili huffs and puffs as she stops in front of the trio resting in the front yard. All red and excited, Lili gasps, "Let's train our aim!"
Jackal chuckles and sits up, "It was a wonderful day... miraculously. Thank you, Syr," he smiles, "If you'd like, let's do this again."
Turning to look at Maria, he raises an eyebrow as she smiles brightly, "Thank you for spending some time here. Kids loved it."
"Only kids, huh?" Jackal sighs and smiles, making Maria chuckle softly under her breath as she replies with slightly upturned eyes, "Goodbye, Jackal... Train well. I know... that Kids want you to return every day..." There are a few other things just on the tip of her tongue but she holds them back.
It wouldn't do her any good to act out impulsively while admonishing Jackal to do the same.
Jackal nods with a grin and leaves with Lili. As they leave, Syr glances at the alley a few structures ahead with narrowed eyes before putting the thought in the back of her head and looking at Maria.
"Maria-san..." She adopts a cute pout as Maria blinks in surprise.
"Yes?" The matron looks at her inquisitively.
"Don't 'yes' me! Hmpfh! I can't believe you would use your mature charm to such an advantage!"
Promptly flushing at Syr's words, Maria stammers, "I- I don't know what you mean!"
"Liar!"
Syr pounces at the older, well-endowed woman. Her fingers fly about.
"Ah! Ahahahahaha! Syr— *gasp* not there! It's too ticklish!"
***
Alternate Title: The Tamer of Divine Hoes; The Collar Weilder; Syr is a Menace to the Hearts of Masses; His Dreams; Her Dreams?; Lili Refuses to Turn Back Without a Fight; Maria Pulls out the Big Guns; So Does Syr; Don't Pull Hair, *Children Chorus* Pull Panties; Jiraiya is Happy; Brook is Satisfied!
***
A/N: I'll try not to victimize Freya and others even if it may sound cheesy. Like... the gods and goddesses are down here for a long time, right? They got plenty of chances to become what they like. But I don't know the future so my thoughts may change.
Comments
FanHarem
It's heavily implied that her relation with her children is less intimate. She uses sexual means to get monetary advantage or get better members for her familia but she doesn't sleep with her familia directly
Dekabos
That doesn’t make any sense, aren’t they the best of the best? She definitely has sex with them, there is no way she has only been with other gods/goddesses.
Dogan
I feel like it'd be out of character for her to do so, honestly. She's too picky for that. She collects the best of the best, but I'd doubt she had that kind of interest in any of them, especially if she could obtain them that easily.
FanHarem
I don't think Freya ever slept with her familia? I could be wrong. Does she?
Darkanlan
Easier to just get her to pick women for her family instead of men. She'll never give up her harem, so better to make it something he can enjoy as well.
Laplase
Maybe he can tame Freya after all.
