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Filthy Gamer in Narutoverse: 245
🕑 Added 2023-08-03 15:59:15 +0000 UTCTitle: Famous Last Words
[War Effort Quest: Payday
Summary: Meet with the Fire Daimyo in Honou City to discuss the war funds according to the Hokage’s needs and financial leniency.
Reward: 25 SP; A New Title
Failure: Third Hoakge’s Disappointment; Fire Daimyo’s Distrust in your political abilities.]
Despite being vague, Kai assumed several factors needed to succeed in the mission from the consequences of failure. So, all he had to do was NOT disappoint the Third Kage with the result and make the Fire Daimyo, in this case—the Old Lord—trust his political capabilities. And since Kai is quite the efficient liar when he wants to be, the latter was never an issue. All politics at their level really is to imply compliance with the financial authority the Daimyo represents, and you’re cool. Of course, the Old Lord would have lost his marbles had he known about Kai’s objective to unify the shinobi villages to have a unified and non-lethal Harem.
There’s also a chance the OId Lord would arrange marriage after marriage for Kai just to curb his ambitions, but the Dragon Sennin digresses. He likes working his way for his lovers’ and fiancees’ gratification. And he can’t stress it enough—Kunoichi will always hold a superior position in his heart than civilians.
[Skill Points: 1984→ 2009]
[Title Achieved: Konoha’s Ambassador]
[Konoha’s Ambassador: Moderately boosts favorability of the host with the civilian nobles of the Land of Fire. Moderately elevates the unfavorability of the host with the civilian nobles of the institutions opposing the Land of Fire.]
‘I thought I would need to report this mission to Hokage before receiving my rewards, but I suppose this mission hinged more on the Old Lord than the Third Kage,’ Kai muses while smiling and continuing the conversational flow with his escort outside the palace. “So, you’re saying different emotions impacts chakra reserve’s intensity differently.” He sounds amazed, but Kai learned this for a while now. Even his [Chakra Empath] before the Kyubi’s negativity seeping into Kushina supports the fact chakra is connected to emotions at a deeper level.
“Exactly,” Chukaku smiles. “We master ourselves and our emotions in the Fire Temple to master our ultimate jutsu—The Welcoming Approach. Our founder named the special chakra created from our prayers once we master our ‘selves’—Gift of the Hermit Group.”
“Why Hermit Group?” Kai inquires curiously as the duo jumps from one roof to another despite the law banning Shinobi from running on the roofs in the Capital.
“It’s an old legend in our temple,” reveals Chukaku. “Our founder was once a fisherman long before the Era of Wars and the Shinobi Villages. He was from a time when no borders existed between humanity. But that doesn’t mean violence did not exist in their time. The lack of borders meant the evils of the continent could move unchecked!”
The old Shinobi Monk sighs deeply. “Our founder’s parents were killed in one of the many skirmishes. But a group of passing Hermit heard of his settlement’s dire situation. It was too late, however. One of the raiders struck the village again, killing our founder’s wife and only son. He flew into a rage!” Chukaku’s beady eyes reveal empathy and understanding. “He killed the raiders somehow, his body becoming mysteriously strong due to his profound rage and sadness, which only heightened when the leader of the Hermit Group revealed that his son could have survived the outcome had our leader performed the simplest of first aid.”
Kai narrows his eyes as Chukaku continues. “The leader of the Hermit Group spent years helping our founder move on from his grief and loss despite his follower’s insistence to travel and heal other regions.”
“Chukaku-san,” Kai gives the old man a sidelong look. “Are you trying to tell me Rikudo himself helped your founder create your temple’s Ultimate Technique?”
Chukaku’s smile deepens as he shrugs. “The Legends,” he emphasizes, “state Rikudo helped create the orthodox shinobi temples we pray to this day—from the Fire Temple of the Land of Fire to the Wind Temple within the Land of Wind, and even Snow Temple of the Land of Snow.”
Kai frowns before sighing and shrugging, “Sounds great. But from the description of your Ultimate Technique, it sounds like a cheap imitation of the fraction of destruction the two Legends of Konoha can achieve.”
Chukaku laughs, “It does, doesn’t it? I never witnessed Hashirama Senju and Madara Uchiha’s might with my own eyes, but I heard of their techniques and skills. But the Fire Monks do not encourage conflict. We believe in self-defense.”
“Is that where your sealing arts come in?” Kai continues, feigning interest until Chukaku unintentionally captures Kai’s erecti- attention.
“The Gift of the Hermit Group’s chakra boasts an uncanny synergy with sealing arts. And while only the mastered Fire Monks and Abbots can unleash the Welcoming Approach, the other Temples spread across the continent boast a similar talent in seals as us. It’s one of the reasons why the damnable Jinpoku sealed Ichibi within the poor Bunpuku before his death.” Disapproval flickers in Chukaku’s eyes as he shakes his head. “I had the fortune of meeting Bunpuku once. He is one of the kindest souls to exist.”
“Didn’t Abbot Jinpoku die before the formation of the Five Villages?” Kai recalls the name from one of his history lessons boasting the continent’s notable Shinobi.
“He did,” Chukaku thins his lips. “Priest Bunpuku is several years older than I am, but his words of wisdom made me the man I am today. I wish I could do something when Sunagakure decided to jail him permanently.”
“You two sound close,” Kai notes, mentally jotting down to learn more about the Gift of the Hermit Group since snooping around on Chukaku using a wooden clone is less than stellar.
“We weren’t,” Chukaku sighs, stopping on a nobleman’s roof as they already sense the surrounding chakra-wielding samurai perceive their unhidden presence, making their way to the top of the structure. The wind gently caresses the duo as Chukaku smiles, “Bunpuku was cursed with a life where he could never sleep. Maybe this curse awakened something foreign inside him—the priest told me he dreamt future while awake.”
“He asked me to spread his message to talented Shinobi I come across. I didn’t think too much at the time, but maybe Priest Bunpuku saw his confinement ahead of time? I understand that talented Shinobi have stubborn hearts and souls. I once spoke of this message to Hiruzen Sarutobi and—even your Matriarch—Tsunade Senju. But I don’t think she remembers a thing since she was drunk dead.”
“Maybe they had to meet Priest Bunpuku in person,” smiles Kai. “It sounds like that man makes quite the impression.”
Chukaku’s eyes express his sadness as he nods, “He did.”
“So?” Kai questions. “Am I talented in your books to hear this message?”
Chukaku chuckles, snapping out of his daze as he nods. “Bunpuku said—Not all events are set in stone because not all living beings are willing to resign to their fates. The only way out is through forging a bond of new moon and sun.”
“And that’s why I never like cryptic messages,” Kai shrugs, “I’ll be seeing you around, Chukaku-san. Be sure to let me know if you’re near Konoha. I’ll happily show you some of my inventions as long as I can learn from you.”
He flickers away, leaving Chukaku alone on the roof, who lets out a resigned sigh. “The boy has a point. Why did you have to be so cryptic, Bunpuku-san?”
The old monk leaves before the Samurai tag him on the roof. It is the Capital, and Chukaku is one of the twelve guardian ninjas! He can break as many rules as he likes as long as he doesn’t get caught.
---
Nawaki licks his dry lips as he gently squeezes the hand of a beautiful blonde woman. The woman looks younger than Nawaki in appearance, but that speaks more to the youth’s growth as a shinobi during his Chakra puberty than his kinks. As a classy noble shinobi, Nawaki doesn’t take his female ‘friends’ to some discreet street.
No.
The Flame Inn is one of the oldest and most prestigious buildings in Honou City, except for the castle and Noble residences.
“Nawaki,” she breathes hotly, nails clawing into his naked back as she feels him pepper her neck and jaw with kisses. Even if he is only naked from the top, the couple can feel each other’s desires as something hard as a log presses against the woman’s abdomen.
“Oh, Nawaki,” a deep voice breathes beside them. “Keep this going. It will be good material for Nono’s new smut.”
Nawaki and the woman freeze in the dim inn room before Nawaki covers the woman’s mouth to stop her scream. He turns around with a furious look, snarling, “Come on! It’s one thing we are in the same city—it’s another we are sharing a room with MY girlfriend! You aren’t my Legacy Guardian! Give me some damn privacy!”
He glares at a grinning Kai, who bows to the lady, “Good day, fair one. I hoped to introduce myself in my most natural habitat to keep a future family member from misunderstanding that the clan’s real bully isn’t Tsunade or Kushina—but me.”
Nawaki slowly removes his hand from the girl’s mouth before getting off her.
“Come on,” Kai scoffs, “I made sure you two weren’t naked, didn’t I? I should get some points for that. I remember dropping by Tsunade, especially when she wasn’t clothed!”
“I’ll try my best to snap you in two once I learn Mokuton from Onee-san,” Nawaki scoffs. “She says I have some chance to learn it.”
Kai shrugs as he sits on the nearby chair. “So, were you planning to tell us you were shagging with clan Kikozu’s Princess?”
“P-please don’t tell my father,” Yuna Kikozu hastily requests while adjusting her clothes under the sheets as Kai rolls his eyes. “Dear, you have a better shot begging Tsunade to keep your father safe if he tries something stupid—Or Nawaki, for that matter. He looks and acts like a waste of talent and space, but he can bust some of the weaker Jonins.”
“Just call me a Jonin,” Nawaki rolls his eyes. “I made enough contribution during the invasion.”
Yuna’s expression slightly contorts as Kai smiles. “Oh, you know your lover almost got deported to Raikage’s personal lab?”
“Why are you here?” Nawaki asserts.
“Why else? To say hi?” Kai cocks his head sideways. “And to be honest, I told my girls they can spend their time as they like. And Cinnamon won’t show herself since she is mad at me. So I was bored and ended here.”
“In our room?” Nawaki narrows his eyes. “While we were making out?”
“Nawaki-san,” Yuna holds Nawaki’s arms. “What if he wants something else? I don’t trust a shinobi will act for such a simple reason.”
“No,” Nawaki thins his lips, staring at the smirking Kai. “It actually checks out. You won’t believe half the thing Kai does for his amusement once bored.”
“All in good spirits,” Kai nods.
“Do you mind leaving?” Nawaki sighs.
Now his trait’s mission generation is rather random as a mission pops in front of Kai!
[Plea Quest: Dignity
Summary: Leave the Inn Room and save the Senju Clan’s heir’s and his lover's dignity.
Reward: Yuna’s Gratitude; Nawaki’s Reduced Annoyance.
Failure: Yuna’s Annoyance; Nawaki’s More Annoyance.]
Kai contemplates momentarily despite the answer staring right at his face!
He nods, relieving Nawaki’s and Yuna’s tense expressions.
“I will leave…” he lets his words echo in the silent room before coughing, “After two hours.”
---
The Dragon Sennin is a big believer in karma, especially when he is the one delivering it—sometimes instantly. Who doesn’t love Instant Karma?
But the situation reversed the second he got out of Nawaki’s and Yuna’s hair.
‘Oh, my Rikudo!’
He stares at the first disciple to return near the gate. Since he didn’t give his team a specific location to return to, Kai believed Shizune must be waiting in the chosen spot since she was the first one Kai sensed who stopped exploring and returned to the gates.
“S-sensei,” Shizune blushes heavily under Kai’s gaze as she drags a giant wooden cart filled with a prominent species of flower despite her slender frame that hides the power to outshine and outlast ten oxen!
‘Of course, she purchased the flowers prominently used to concoct aphrodisia in Suna,’ Kai thinks in a daze, mocking himself as a failure of a Sensei while Shizune fidgets, pressing her thumbs together with a shy look.
“This isn’t what you think it is, Sensei.” She mutters. “I just purchased them for my needs.”
Kai’s hand flies quicker than his brain registers, knocking the top of Shizune’s head as she yelps.
“Ah! Sensei?!”
“Sorry, it was a reflex,” Kai looks between Shizune and the cart, admonishing his gutter-minded thoughts before clearing his throat. “You wanted me to store them for you until you can extract the natural material from the flowers, right?”
Shizune nods, regaining her bearings as Kai does so under other civilians’ and Shizune’s amazed expressions. After all, Shizune envies and awes after Kai’s talent with seals! His sealing items only flow within the Senju Clan, but it boasts quite the envy of different clans.
“Did you have fun?” Kai questions as he warmly pats the spot where he hit Shizune, using the healing chakra of Iryo-Ninjutsu.
“I did,” Shizune’s expression brightens. “I didn’t know what to do at first, but finding the flower shop allowed me to understand I can use various medical concoctions aside from simple poison on my Senbon. The enemy shinobi may have antidotes for things like sleeping poison and such, but they won’t easily expect a compound poison that boosts the body’s efficiency! It’s bound to reduce their control.”
Kai smiles, hearing Shizune speak without interrupting the entire time since he is one of her only friends in the village. And it helps keep her motivated when she knows someone is willing to spend time with her and enjoy her hobbies—poison making, apparently.
They wait for some time before noticing Kurenai’s arrival, who dodges their gaze the second the latter notices the former.
“Oh,” Kai grins, beckoning Kurenai before questioning, “Did you have fun?”
“I- I did. But I also want to go see a play with everyone before leaving,” Kurenai straightforwardly pushes as Kai agrees without a hassle. They have time since he can teleport back to Konoha instantly.
But Karma hits him like a truck again when Shizune questions what Kurenai did, and she reveals so with an embarrassed look—but clearly not ashamed enough since she didn’t mind revealing her day.
“I b-bought books on seduction, not the kind taught to us during the academy. It’s more s-sensual.”
*Thump*
Kurenai yelps, covering her head while looking at Kai with a tearful gaze, “Sensei?!”
He looks at the orphan.
“A reflex, sorry,” he grunts, soothing the pain with a pat and a bit of iryo-nin in the mix.
“It’s fine,” Kurenai lowers her head before glancing at Kai. ‘Tears usually don’t work on Sensei? Is there something else today that made him apologize? Usually, he makes a child cry harder after stealing their candy or something.’ She makes a mental note, not knowing how the empath can practically smell the ‘manipulation’ breeding inside her mind!
But Konan takes the cake when she arrives the last with a blue rose on her hair bun and a stud under her bottom lip.
“H-how do I look?” Konan asks weakly.
“How should I put it?” Kurenai frowns, first to comment with one of the grandest roasts in her arsenal. “You look exactly the way someone who lost her parents in the war would look once she takes the easiest path of making money.”
Konan deadpans as Kai sighs deeply, hitting the top of Kurenai’s head as she yelps while smiling weakly, boosting the bluenette munchkin’s confidence. “You look great. It would take some time to get used to it, but it doesn’t take anything away from your appearance.”
Konan lights up under Kai’s compliment as he sighs deeply, like a weary old man who is about to give up on life.
‘Fuck my life. Well, I plan to take Nono out in Konoha with that plan. I hope it doesn’t backfire or anything… nah, it won’t. I mean, enacting Nono’s first smut wouldn’t be that bad.’
Famous last words.
***
Alternate Title: Payday; Konoha About To Swim In Ryo; The New Ambassador With the Hope of Universal Bitches!; The First Jinchuriki of Ichibi; The Sleepless Prophet; Bunpuku Practically Saying Canon Event Can Be Broken!; Bunpuku Spoiling The OId Ending; Kai May Just Creat New Moon And Sun; Cryptic Messages Are No Longer Meta; Unified Home, Unified Hoes, and Unified Bros; The Legend of Temples; Rikudo’s Presence In History; The Great Nawaki; Nawaki Stepping Into Mokuton Path—Hard Crotch; Nawaki Making Mito Proud; The Unannounced Bother-in-Law; Kai: Look At Me, I’m The Bully Now; Nawaki About To Spread His Will of Fire; Karma Hitting Kai Harder Than Truck Hitting a Protag!; The Sexual Alchemist; The Seductive Kunoichi; The Punk-Era Glorified Origami Mistress; Kurenai Roasting Konan Harder Than Fate Ever Did; Kurenai: It’s My Time To Shine *Kai With His Fist Of Love*; It’s Kai’s Reflex To Abuse Orphans; Kai: Nothing Weird Will Happen With Nono, Right? RIGHT?
Comments
FanHarem
he is a bully... but then again, bullying someone for fun instead of emotionally ruining their lives must be a sweet feeling for a man whose emotions were thoroughly suppressed in one lifetime
Dulana Lanerolle
I sometimes wonder if this novel is written by a 7th grade bully. Strange how i still pay for this
Kejmur
True, in canon, we only hear Chouji saying, so it may be not a completely reliable opinion, and he may exaggerate or something. Also, the best feat with it is Chouji fighting the Gedou Mazou statue head-on, which isn't bad by any means even by very late Shippuden standards, but it also doesn't match up 8 gates against Madara. The way I see it that if it's possible (obviously we don't have evidence for this in canon, so it's pretty much up to you), to somewhat combine Butterfly Mode with other boosts (like Gates or Lightning Armor) on top of it... well, it may become ridiculous. Akimichi Pills may also be something worth investigating as quick power boosts.
FanHarem
I'm always iffy about akimichi clan's boost due to the 100 multiplier... like where were they against madara? cause 8 gate guy was a menace
Kejmur
Well, I caught up. Also, don't be stingy Kai - if a beautiful woman is interested, and she still isn't kunoichi, she may still be a fun option. Like Tsunami in the future or something. Or those female daimyo if they will exist in this AU. Also on some random commentary - while it is my slight prostitute kink, I think the whole Minato's first time with that Uzumaki was sweet, and if they hook up together in the end, I would still find it weirdly romantic. He can't be with Kushina here, so it may as well be some other Uzumaki. Also on some underrated power boost - the Akimichi route may be interesting. The way they did this clan dirty in the canon is just sad (unfortunately it's not the only thing), especially as we know canonically that Butterfly Mode, according to Chouji's words, is a 100x force multiplier, which is insane by itself. Also with how massive they can grow (even bigger than boss summons) and how someone like Chouji could fight Gedo Mazou, this may be a genuine way to aim for yet another massive force multiplier for Kai.
