Viva01
patreon
Red Riot - Chapter 47 - Red sea
🕑 Added 2026-01-11 04:07:52 +0000 UTCMatsu Uzumaki:- person of high interest to other Shinobi Villages. Jonin. Medical/Taijutsu/Ninjutsu/Sensory speciality. Chief Medical Officer of the Kiri Medical Program. He is now Fifteen years old.
Gengetsu Hozuki:- The second Mizukage and trickster Lord of Kirigakure. Master of Illusions and torment. Defeated Mu, the Second Tsuchikage in combat. Lost his left arm and left leg in the fight. Matsu healed him.
Sayuki:- Second in command of the Civilian Nin when Matsu isn’t around. Takes it seriously. A touch annoyed that she just lost to Minato Namikaze.
Shoto:- ANBU operative, which effectively takes him out of the standard ranking system. Has been absent for several months. A highly skilled Stealth specialist. Friends with Matsu and Rei.
Rei:- former classmate with Matsu, Shoto, and Sayuki. Only the first two know she’s alive. During a brawl at the brothel she was hiding in she was injured with her eyes being damaged. Something of a prodigy at Fuinjutsu and she now live in the Land of Vegetables, assisting Matsu from afar.
Kuroiwa Karatachi - student of Matsu. Karatachi clanswoman. Tk Jonin. Medic. Capitalist! Primed to being Matsu’s second in command of Kirigakure’s Medic Corps.
Hanahime Terumi:- Matsu’s ally during his years in the Academy. Led the Terumi contingent. Upon the success of the Red Graduation she was ordered to kill the weakest shinobi in their respective groups. She had to kill her cousin and best friend. Hasn’t spoken with Matsu since then. Is the daughter to Nezda Terumi.
Nezda Terumi:- the Chamberlain of Kirigakure. Ostensibly the man who has the best chance of taking over the seat of Mizukage if Gengetsu were to die anytime soon. Has political strength. Has fingers in many pies. Understands the financials of the Village. Is the brother to the Clan head of the Terumi. Hanahime is his daughter.
Fuguki Suikazan:- Leader of the Seven Swordsmen. Wielder of Samehada.
Kushimaru Kuriarare:- One of the Seven Swordsmen. Wielder of Nuibari.
Shimotaki:- ???
______________
Three years had seen a great many changes, both for Kirigakure itself and for me.
While I would never be able to ‘sit’ easily upon what I’d built I had been able to start making moves, or at the very least, be in the room where the decisions that shaped Kiri were being made. Which could make all the difference in the world.
The hospital that had been constructed close to Kuroiwa clan grounds was perhaps one of the biggest signs of change within Kiri, and it had already proven its effectiveness hundreds of times over.
Still, for all the new buildings and tweaks to legislation or missions being conducted, there was lots of things that hadn’t changed in Kiri.
Such as my friendships.
Pointing my finger towards the side, I spoke up. “Been tracking you since you got within fifty metres of me.”
When no response resulted, I sighed. “You had to dodge Kuroiwa when she came out five minutes ago,” I stated.
“Fuck! How?” demanded Shoto as he slid out of a shadowy recess. He’d been very patient in slipping into the room and moving into that spot, but I wasn’t about to let him ‘win’ our game.
“Hmmm, not telling,” I replied childishly, which earned me a sigh from Shoto as he straightened up.
Gone was the lanky, short boy from our childhood. Puberty had hit Shoto, and hit hard. He’d shot up like a weed in height, and I projected him reaching a staggering two metres by the time he was done growing.
He was still thin. His build honestly reminded me more of Kushimare Kurairre, which might have been possible if the man ever actually did anything but murder people and meditate on murder.
It was kind of annoying to have to look up at a kid I’d been able to put my elbow on as a kid.
“Urgh! Grow up Matsu!” he growled as he tucked away his mask and unfolded himself from the tiny space that he had no business fitting within.
If I weren’t used to seeing him do it, I’d be shuddering from the uncanniness of the action.
“Nah, growing up is overrated,” I replied glibly, flicking a blunt kunai his way only for him to catch it and flick it back.
Where Shoto had shot up, I’d had a much more sedate growth, standing at a respectable metre sixty. I looked a lot more natural compared to Shoto, as I’d filled out a lot more with muscles packing my frame.
My hair, when I didn’t tie it up, reached the middle of my back, and I enjoyed toying with some of my female friends by occasionally letting it down.
With my facial structure and early life growing in an Okiya I knew how to ‘work it’ while making it look entirely casual. Much to their ire.
My chakra coil cleansing exercises had continued until the benefits petered out entirely. I had completed all of the natural elements along with the yin-yang which I had included in my sessions. The only known chakra type that I couldn’t use and was looking forward to gaining was nature chakra itself.
Well, excluded chakra from a Bijuu that is.
Thanks to completing this, however, I could now summon up to two hundred shadow clones.
A very respectable amount.
I had been able to gather a large arsenal of jutsu that I could use, along with becoming rather skilled as a potter, and a painter. I even had several lines of books written, ranging from academic to fiction, and dozens of cookbooks.
The income was nice, but the softer power was more what I desired with the ability to influence the world around me into something of a soft revolution with day-to-day matters.
While initially, cuisines like fish and chips being an actual thing in Kiri along with italian based dishes and even some indian didn’t appear threatening, it became a factor when nobles asked for me, or I could drop more knowledge about a topic due to being the author of a series.
“You spend too much time around Gengetsu,” riposted Shoto.
I didn’t have an easy reply to that, so I held onto the kunai, signifying he’d won our little game.
I wasn’t about to explain how relative time worked with me and clones and the experiences I accrued.
It wasn’t just keeping my growth to myself, as all civilian nins under my banner received chakra cleansing and lectures that I used to boost their skills. More than a few Mudanin were also included in this.
Apart from merely honing ninja skills, I also had some of my clones teaching art classes in the style of Bob Ross.
Interestingly enough, crimes, mental breakdowns, and other markers of poor mental health and dropped a percentage from the introduction of my classes last year I expected that to continue decreasing the more participants I garnered.
Shadow Clones were truly a broken ability when used right.
Right now, I had several clones merely moving about the Elemental nations, keeping their ears to the ground and seeing how long they could last.
If some of them happened to frequent gambling institutes… well, that was just preparing for a future gambit of mine.
I gestured towards Shoto. “Got something for me?”
“So, I got some reports and mail for you here,” Shoto announced with a smug grin, more than happy to play into his role as messenger. “Got a lot of love letters here as well. Lots of noble ladies wanting their… examinations with the good Doctor~” he teased.
Rolling my eyes, I accepted the stack of reports and letters. “Those women are mostly married and performing health checks is something that is earning us money and goodwill, hand over fist.” There were also several coded reports for my eyes only that I suspected Shoto knew about, but he played along with the ruse by teasing me.
“Hmmm, I notice you said, most of them are married women,” Shoto winked at me.
“Alright, some of them are… a bit lonely,” I replied only to open a letter, and a drawing of a naked woman winking at me landed on my desk.
“Nice,” Shoto said. “What’s she need? A breast examination?”
“No, she’s just a horny noblewoman,” I replied blithly. I wasn’t about to explain the concept of breast screenings to Shoto. We did perform them, as I knew of several conditions that affected the organ, both for men and women, but it would be a long, drawn-out conversation that would end up being me protesting something not worth it.
She really was just a bored noble.
We had better things to do. In truth, his role as messenger was to slip reports that had been sent by Rei to me.
“Been able to get reverse summoned over to Vegetables yet?” I asked.
“Working on it,” Shoto replied. “It took the Chameleons long enough to warm up to the idea of signing her up with them, but they sure liked the idea of field testing their skills against a friendly byakugan user.”
“How’s she handling being tested?”
“Loves it cause it’s all a game to Rei,” Shoto answered with a smile.
“Hmmm, do I need to explain the fish and the sharks to you?” I teased, knowing that their chances of having a relationship would skyrocket once Shoto could set up a relay system to get summoned to Rei’s side and then back to Kiri.
For that to happen, the clan needed to grow stronger, which had resulted in me dabbling in veterinary practises to work on their chakra coils with the cleansing technique.
In response to my question, Shoto made a rude gesture.
I chuckled as I read through a few more letters, some of which I added to the wall behind me. Some held drawings, while others were effusive letters of thanks.
Perhaps when proper photographs could be taken, I’d get a few of those to add but it was still a fairly controlled piece of technology. So much so that I still hadn’t gotten my hands on one despite posting a sizeable bounty of information, a camera, or a technician behind the creation of one.
Telescopic lenses would be a huge advantage if I could remember enough of them; if not, I hoped to pitch ideas and see what stuck.
Reports from Koga Karatachi made me slow in my reading. I was no longer skimming the details and shifting the paperwork into other piles of ‘fan mail, and future missions’ but giving the report the attention it was due.
“Any more horrors been born from that place?” Shoto asked.
I hummed before replying, “... they’ve worked out how to make an invisible gas that we can be immune to with breathing apparatus or with the water breathing jutsu.”
“Tch, any chunin worth their salt knows how to use that!”
“Hmmm, which leaves roughly sixty percent of shinobi forces exposed,” I replied, knowing that this could be a devastating attack. It takes someone that’s got a pretty strong water affinity, however.”
“You going to learn it?” Shoto asked, watching me carefully.
“Yes,” I replied. “If I find myself in a situation where it will make a difference, it is better to have it than not.”
“Hmmmm, so you say,” he scoffed.
“You’re looking down on poisons?” I asked.
“Just worried that it might not discriminate with who it affects. Like you said, sixty percent, that also means our forces.”
“If the situation requires it,” I repeated.
“How many others are going to get access to that jutsu?” Shoto asked.
That had me grimacing as the jutsu would have to be handed to Gengetsu but from there it would be up to him who it got distributed to. I couldn’t hold it back for just myself.
“We’ll label it a kinjutsu due to the danger it represents to people without the right safety precautions,” I offered, earning a grunt from Shoto.
“You’ve been spending a lot of time with Rei I take it?” I asked, opening another report, this one from the ANBU that lightly patrolled the Land of Honey. Hmmm, normal levels of foreign shinobi activity that were slowly growing less and less.
My plan to improve relations with the eastern continent was paying noticeable dividends. Where before we had to compete with Kumo, Konoha, and even some minor villages for contracts, now we dominate the market for who nobles and merchants went to as their first point of call.
We’d also created our own markets with medical matters being rolled into services that were being discreetly offered to nobles and extremely rich merchants.
There were still some contracts that we weren’t going to get however, as opposition existed within both nobility and merchants that saw other ninja villages being employed.
“Nothing wrong with that, is there?” murmured Shoto.
“No, just some of her mannerisms have bled through. Just remember that she lives in a different world to us now. Kiri is not Vegetable, and being a well-regarded Lady of the court is not a shinobi.”
Shoto ground his teeth, “I’ll keep it in mind.”
“I wouldn’t want you to be injured or dead is all Shoto. Some of the work we do requires a no-hesitation mindset that Rei… well, she never really possessed it.”
That drew a sigh. “Yeah, agreed.” Jerking his chin to the report I’d just read he asked, “Think this will be the year someone finally realises what’s going on under the Honey hospital?”
“I hope not, but I have to admit that I’m pleasantly surprised it lasted as long as it has.” Which stung a little to admit. I’d built the hospital to last beyond me, but Gengetsu’s false sites and the response they’d drawn from the other major Villages had made me a little more jaded.
Now I was making sure not to establish too much in Honey. What was there could remain with training sites and an offsite facility, but no more was being added from my end. The growth of the small village had actually started with people moving there naturally. A small town had developed in truth in support of the hospital. Which in turn added another layer of subterfuge to our base underneath it all.
Choosing another topic I gestured to Shoto. “How’s your Rasengan training going?” I asked.
“...How you can say that jutsu is an incomplete jutsu I don’t know.” he remarked. “And fuck you for having two different variants!” he growled.
I smirked. Roughly a year ago, I’d demonstrated to all the students who had shown a high degree of mastery with the Rasengan how it could be improvised. Made smaller, bigger, denser, or even utelise different forms of chakra.
Then I’d taken it a step further by announcing that the jutsu itself was incomplete and merely a stepping stone to something more powerful.
I’d then shown then the Chidori, and the Rasenshuriken, stating that theoretically there were in fact dozens if not hundreds of ways to adapt it to their personal uses.
It was a lie, but one they didn’t need to know. I was curious if anyone could create something new from it without me chaining their imagination down.
“Still can’t work out how to weave fire into it properly,” he remarked. “I can do small ones which helps a lot in my line of work but,” he shook his head. “It’s like trying to look up, down, and left ad the same time!” he growled.
I merely nodded, pleased that he’d reached this stage himself.
“You’ll get there,” I replied, causing Shoto to growl and change the subject himself.
“Heard you’re going to be debating it today,” Shoto probed, but I ignored the less-than-subtle dig for intel.
“Hmmm, we will see,” I replied. “Gengetsu might still have us put to the sword if he can.”
As I rose I straightened out my attire with chakra threads making sure my clothing was pristine while also subtly reinforcing my defenses while also causing me to work against a light level of resistance.
“Has Rei seen any options for creating weight seals in her training as yet?” I asked for perhaps the fifth time.
“No, not yet. She’s working on it but the last time she added it to a bar of iron, she bent the damn thing when she so much as flicked it at a wall.”
“What did it do to the wall?” I asked out of interest.
“Shattered it, which she’s attempting to weaponise but… yeah she’s just one woman.”
“Hmmm, shame she doesn’t have a big enough chakra pool for a Shadow Clone,” I muttered.
“Can’t all be good news,” Shoto shrugged as he departed my office.
“You say that like good news is common enough?” I replied as I slapped my hand on a seal that had been provided to me by the few sealing ‘experts’ we had within Kiri. For the office of the Chief Medical Officer, or more specifically, the records of the hospital room, I needed strong security features.
My demand for copies of the seals to be provided to me had received significant pushback.
In the end, I’d gotten my way thanks to being able to voice security concerns. From that, Rei had a whole security seal matrix to study while I’d handed off a copy to the Karatachi who had at least the most interest in keeping me alive with Kuroiwa supporting me to the hilt.
It helped that I kept her very happy, and very rich with the missions I sent her on.
Shoto snorted. “It’s been getting better. We’re getting better armor, steel, and training. That’s having an impact,” he pointed out. “From the common shinobi’s perspective, Kiri is on the up and up.” he clapped me on the back. “It might not seem that way sitting in your tower and having to rub elbows with the old men that pull the strings along with you, but we’re… starting to get there, Matsu.”
A moment later, he vanished into a shunshin, and I watched him leave, wondering if this was where the other shoe dropped. Perhaps I was less able to enjoy all my success because I alone knew what was coming our way.
War, both a world shinobi war and the possibility of a civil war.
It all depended on how things played out over the next few years.
I departed, making sure to lock up my office fully, seals, and traps and all.
Shunshinning to the council rooms, I was greeted by an assortment of ANBU that performed subtle and overt challenges while others tested me in different manners. Some of them I stopped cold, such as the attempts to trip me up with illusions.
The council chambers themselves were the same from the first time I’d entered to give a report. The same drab four grey walls with a long table arranged such that the head position could either be centralised ot placed at the head.
Whenever Gengetsu sat at the head of the table, no one sat directly opposite him.
There was a slightly oppressive air in the otherwise bland room. The table was a dark bloodoak that was typically a light red, which only made me all the more curious about how much blood had been spilt in this room to darken the colour.
Oddly enough, there wasn’t a hint of blood whenever I scented the air within the rooms.
As always, I wasn’t the first to arrive.
The ANBU commander, known as Shark, nodded at my entrance. Nezda, as the Chamberlain of Kiri, sat to the right hand of Gengetsu’s chair.
I sat at the opposite end, signifying that I was both the newest seat and the youngest on the council. Next to me, the Arbiter, or head of the Hunter nin teams, was placed.
They never came until just before Gengetsu sat down, however, both as a show of skill and to play mind games with anyone who might be unattentive.
Needless to say, none in the council were impressed by their antics, and when that man had attempted to apply pressure on me in the first session I attended. When he stalked me after the session was finished, I returned the favour by sliding in behind him and putting a kunai to his back, with a clone.
I’d promptly continued on my way and left the Arbiter to play dumb games with my clone.
The message had thankfully taken hold, and he hadn’t attempted any more shows of force since then.
Then again, it wouldn’t be Kiri without the attempts at back-alley murder. If I weren’t new to my role as Chief Medical Officer, I might have left the Arbiter in the ditch if I could.
The rest of the council members, Fuguki swaggered in when he sat, he made sure Samahade rested next to him, ready to be drawn and levelled as a threat.
The Jonin Commander slipped in without a sound after that, and then Gengetsu sauntered in with an almost chipper attitude.
The moment before he sat, the Arbiter appeared in his chair, and for half a second Gengetsu smiled.
“Let us begin, we have several important missions that have been completed, some successfully, some failed,” Gengetsu began, laying out reports before us all.
I perused the classified reports and hummed, interested in the various details laid out.
“The integration missions into the various courts have all successfully been completed,” I mused aloud.
“Feh! We’ve become fashion icons to some of the nobles with your medics!” groused Fuguki.
“Hmmm, you’re welcome, we’re controlling the east and slipping into the western continent,” I replied.
“Only the minor courts in the west,” interjected Nezda.
“It’s not like we’d be able to get into Wind, Fire, Earth, or Lightning,” I replied.
“Now that’s just being pessimistic,” Gengetsu simpered, waving his hand and causing the fingers to rotate before small spikes shot in and out. Hmmm, he’d gotten himself an upgrade to his mechanical limb; that trick was new.
More than a few people in the room spiked their chakra to check for an illusion, much to Gengetsu’s joy.
“We need to find the right sorts to integrate into those courts, Nezda, Shark?” Both men nodded slightly, showing they were paying attention.
Gengetsu waved his hand. “I want deep-cover agents made up for those courts. We’ve too much success in the minor courts to not attempt the same with the major courts. Let’s start small,” he drummed his fingers. ”We have some kunoichi or shinobi that could marry and ‘retire’ don’t we?”
“Always, sir,” Nezda dutifully reported. “More than a few would enjoy the slower work… but they will have issues with assassination attempts. The other Villages guard their courts zealously. Accidents have a higher incident rate that impacts outsiders.”
“Is that because they are too easy to lose in the crowd and are thus not followed up on?” I suggested.
That caused everyone to turn towards me.
Gengetsu leaned forward, his fingers clicking so the claws in the tips came out. “Explain,” he purred.
“The courts don’t care if someone forgettable passes. More will replace them. It also plays into the typical shinobi mindset,” I stated. “We don’t want to be noticed.”
I made a twisting gesture. “So we flip the script, send someone loud, gregarious, and beautiful that can draw the court’s attention. Have them charm lots of people. If they disappear, people will ask questions. Suddenly, shinobi villages have a much tougher time vanishing the threat.” I offered a shrug. “Or they do, and it costs them a chunk of reputation.”
“And all it costs us is a single shinobi if done well,” filled in Nezda.
Gengetsu smirked, and I just knew he was imagining the agent’s deaths more than any mission being successful.
“Urgh, boring,” grunted Fuguki.
I felt a spike of worry knowing that while he feigned indifference, more than a few of the details that would be shared here would find their way into rival villages' intel briefings.
Nezda and I shared a look. I had no doubt that most of the council knew about Fuguki’s lack of loyalty. It was why most meetings only ever featured generalities. Still, the man was powerful and had much of the Seven Swordsmen’s loyalty.
If they covered specifics, they were usually extremely time-sensitive.
More missions were discussed, such as the seduction of specific high-value targets and the intel they provided. Thanks to this, missions were assigned to course correct with this intel to make sure nobles that weren’t in favour of us found themselves waylaid by issues.
And thus we influenced the world around us, making it more accepting of shinobi and more likely to employ us.
Corruption at its finest.
“The next item on the agenda, the offsite training facilities will be moved to Kiri proper with classes set up with the system that we have established,” Gengetsu announced.
I raised an eyebrow. System that we established, eh? Prick. “I would suggest that we keep some trainees there or transfer them to give them a taste of the real world. Also, I would not be so quick to dismiss the non-shinobi training methods that are being developed there.”
“Feh!” Fuguki snorted. “Civilians!”
Not wanting to waste time on Fuguki, I gave Gengetsu my attention.
The man raised his hand, palm up towards me, which worried me more, as I knew it housed a senbon launcher. “Calm yourself Matsu, I’m not going to pull back completely. That site has rewarded us quite handsomely. In fact, the longer it goes on the more I’m contemplating the reproduction of the site.”
“That may be a mistake,” intoned Nezda critically. “The reason that it is perhaps so successful is that it’s somehting that no other Village has done before. If it becomes too commonplace the other nations may investigate.”
I didn’t want to show it but I was actually quite thankful for Nezda’s intervention. Still, a man like that doesn’t do it entirely for himself. Did he know I wouldn’t want such a motion to have backing?
Also, there was a non-zero chance that Gengetsu might have linked up with Nezda and arranged this very situation. Or vice versa.
Politics could be just as dangerous as shinobi fights. The hazards that occurred, however, weren’t as obvious and were often lethal to not just myself but many Kiri shinobi.
The fact that it wasn’t just a Kiri trait to brazenly spend people’s lives like they were nothing wasn’t a pleasing thought.
One day, it would be up to me to spend lives.
A quote from a rather prolific author of my first life stuck out to me then. It was about the wrong man inheriting a kingdom.
For all that the people would love that man as a king and die for him, his brother, they could respect, and he’d find a way for them not to die.
In this instance, however, I aimed to be both the inheritor of Kiri and smart/strong enough to make it so no one had to die for me.
Or, realistically speaking, as few as possible.
Death was one of the certainties of life after all.
“A minimalist approach would be best,” I replied. “Just because it isn’t done all the time doesn’t mean we can’t repeat it. We just need to be careful,” I stated, adding my own thoughts while also making it known that Nezda and I weren’t joined lockstep with each other.
Nezda surveyed me cooly for a moment, but said nothing more.
Fucker, was he trying to cause more people to pressure me?
“Hmmm, hmmm hmm,” hummed Gengetsu like he was aware of everything going on in the room and it made him immensely happy to watch us squirm.
“On to the next matter then?” he asked before adopting a more serious tone. He nodded to Shark, the ANBU Commander who nodded back.
“Border incursions and attempts to cross into the Land of Water and beyond have been on the rise, from multiple factions,” declared Shark. “They are probing our defences while also attempting to trade up our forces. Each probe is attempting new methods. As yet we have caught all attempts, but it will only take one success to embolden the other Villages to attempt something… drastic.”
Ah, and here it was. The precursor signs that the Villages were done with their time of peace. They were once more gearing up for war.
It might take a few years for outright war, but escalation was now on the agenda.
Until then, battles were being fought in the shadows as much as possible.
“Feh, let them come. We’ll just change our patrol routes and our methods of defence!” scoffed Fuguki.
“It is more an issue of allowing shinobi that might have powerful jutsu close. They might perform suicide attacks and cripple our infrastucture,” pointed out Nezda.
Unable to do anything but agree I merely nodded along as the Arbiter growled. “Perhaps we need to bite back?”
“We have been,” replied the Jonin Commander with an annoyed tone. “Both covertly and through non-standard methods. We’re setting up infiltration and attempting to identify key supply lines. We know, for example, that much of Konoha’s Chakra metal comes from the Land of Iron.”
“And that took you how long to work out?” barked Fuguki. “Everyone gets their chakra metal fro mthere cause they’re the best at forging it! If not, you’re reliant on small scale produciton from tiny nations like… Honey or Wolf!”
No reaction came from me at the mention of Honey.
If he’d said something like Vegetable, however… well, I might have activated some failsafes and made sure Fuguki’s next misison was his last.
The Jonin commander’s eyes narrowed. “We also know their delivery schedule. We know when, where and how they deliver it,” he stated with some relish.
There wasn’t a sign that gave it away, but I knew that Fuguki must have made a mental note of that intel. I had to wonder at the Jonin Commander’s game, revealing it here and now.
What were they up to?
My eyes slide to Gengetsu and he was the model of polite interest before his smile turned vicious. “Excellent, don’t make any moves as yet. We’ll raid them hard when the time is right!” he declared.
Did that mean we were going to do the opposite, or was there something else we were setting up? I made a mental note to ask Shoto to send a chameleon to perform some long-term recon in the Land of Iron.
Then again, I probably already had him stretched rather thin with the other sites of interest that I had him investigating on the down low.
The Village Hidden in the Waterfalls alone might offer up two benefits for me if I played my cards just right. The Village Hidden in the Stars, heck, even the Eastern continent had some potential to investigate with things like the demonic statue army that existed. They weren’t too much of a threat for most shinobi, but as a delay or distraction they’d be second to known.
The separate continent to the south of the Land of Wind was also another place I wanted to look into but until I had control of long-term missions with people who could range far and wide, it wasn’t feasible.
Not unless I shipped a Chameleon off on a ship ala Magellan or Zheng He.
Which… would admittedly be pretty awesome.
Still, the inability to act independently was a growing concern for me, and somehting I wanted to rectify as soon as possible. For that, I was going to have to take a huge risk.
“The final order of business is that it is finally time for us to host a Chunin Exam once more. The other Villages have been expressing interest for some time now,” Gentsu announced with a hint of relish. “Expect them to be probing all of our defences. We will be up to the task, however.”
He directed a look to the ANBU and Jonin Commander. “Make it so. When the shinobi Vilalges of the world come to Kiri, they will face nothing but an impenetrable defence.”
“Will be be raising the Mist once more?” asked Fuguki with narrowed eyes.
Gengetsu smirked. “Yes, we will. It is rather delightful watching young and foreign shinobi struggle through the mist, is it not?”
He waved a hand towards Nezda. “Make the arrangements and create a proper test for cunning, skills, and resilience.”
I held back a whistle as I mentally translated that from Gengetu’s polite speak to what he actually meant.
Ability to be cutthroat, lethality, and literally pushing them until they broke.
Poor Genin in the next exams would have PTSD for life if we did it right unless they were hardened child soldiers.
Which… well, the world of Naturo could be a shit place to live sometimes.
Still, it was a good idea to put the fear of Kiri into a group of shinobi that we’d likely be facing soon enough in the future. It was a risk to be sure, but also one that was rife with possibilities.
“We’ll be showing off the ability of our hospital as well during this Nezda, so make sure the tests are… suitably considerate of that.”
Translation: put them into a state of near death and leave it to Matsu and his team of Medics to drag them back to perfect health if not better, lest we risk an international incident I can blame on Matsu’s head.
I narrowed my eyes for a moment, and Gengetsu had the audacity to smirk wider.
Fuck that guy.
“My team will be up to the task,” I replied, cause ther was nothing else I could say in this instance.
Shit, I was going to have to set up some chaotic drills for them.
“Good, see that they are, that will be your sole focus until the exams, then I want you observing everything so that no injuries are missed,” he stated.
Ah, he wants me to steal more jutsu.
Roger that. Also… he’d just given me the equivalent of an open cheque with that mission overview. I could bill out a few S-rank missions and take my students on a whirlwind tour of the elemental nations if I played my cards right.
Or… I could get some time to myself that was unrestricted.
This… was perfect.
Gengetsu hummed. “That will be all, I believe,” he stated, formally ending the meeting.
I rose with the others, bowing as Gengetsu stood slowly. He gave us all a long look before nodding once. It was a powerplay, but also one that the rest of us wanted to enforce, just in case we took up the hat.
Nezda delayed me a few minutes asking about how many medics I could supply, and I was honest in my assemesent but most of my attention was elsewhere, judging how I could set things up to benefit me most.
I had half a mind to create a mission that would take place in the Land of Demon with a pitstop of a few weeks in the Land of Vegetables, but that was thinking to straightforward.
I needed something new.
Another game changer.
And the biggest that I still hadn’t tapped into…
Was the summoning Jutsu.
I needed to form a contract with an animal clan.
The stronger the better.
With that goal in mind, I formed a plan to offload my work for onto the relevant parties.
Kuroiwa, Hanahime, Shoto and Sayuki were not going to be amused, but it was for the best. I might never get another chance like this after all.
Kuroiwa might have been my official liaison with the Karatachi and second in command, but as a healer, Hanahime had surprised me in the last few years with how she’d fully committed herself to learning and improving as a healer.
If I were the best medic in Kiri, Hanahime would be a strong contender for second best, I had no doubt.
Kuroiwa, having proven herself loyal to me on numerous occasions, had the benefits of my chakra cleansing which allowed her slightly better endurance and control. She also had access to more of the restricted reports on new jutsu and medical techniques being developed.
“Hanahime, here are a list of surgical and medical missions that I need you to cover for the next while,” I stated when I met with the Terumi kunoichi, handing her a scroll with a list.
Hanahime, too had grown.
Gone were the straight lines of her body, now she sported a more curvaceous form that drew many an eye and had caused her a few points of difficulty with retraining her taijutsu abilities the more her body shifted.
She was still of a height with me, but unlike me, she’d stopped growing a while ago.
Accepting the scroll, she browsed it only to frown. “There are surgeries on here for a month at least, what’s going on?” she asked. “Most of these clients have stated in the past that they’d like to keep seeing only you.”
“So use a henge, don’t deny that you can’t mimic me well enough,” I replied, earning a begrudging nod from her.
“Why are you offloading these to me?” she asked.
“Hmmm, two reasons, you need to push your skillset, and also, I have to focus my energies elsewhere.”
That got another raised eyebrow from her as she considered me. “You? You’re a guy who somehow juggles eight or nine different tasks at once. What makes this so important?”
It was actually close to two dozen, but she didn’t need to know that. “I’ve got to upskill a bunch more people for the chunin Exams. Gengetsu is going to throw people through a meatgrinder to demonstrate our skills. He wants to scare the other nations.”
Hanahime clicked her tongue at that. “That’s… urgh. So like him,” she muttered.
I nodded, pointed at the list. “Add to that list if you can. Any surgery you’re not confident in, you need to get confident in. In two months we’re hosting the chunin exams,” I declared, causing her to jolt and swear.
There, that would take care of the Terumi informant. Now I just needed to dump most of my work onto my other seconds.
Amusingly enough, I found Kuroiwa and Sayuki talking with each other at the training ground atop the trio of apartment buildings that our group collectively owned.
Kuroiwa had grown taller, and appeared perfectly average, but I knew that to be a henge that she used to avoid unwanted attention. As a Tokubetsu Jonin, she wore her vest proudly with many hidden pockets lined with storage scrolls.
Sayuki, unlike many others, hadn’t grown nearly as much.
She was, in a word, pixieish in form. Something that she detested, as it made her look like she was a child. It was however, something she’d exploited many times before in the past with people underestimating her due to her looks. She, unlike many others, had determined it better to remain at chunin lest she draw too much attention in fights and from the various actors within Kiri.
I dropped down in front of the long bench they were sitting on to observe the training occurring on the roof. “Sayuki! Kuroiwa! Such radiant flowers truly blossom in the harshest o—”
“Fuck! He wants something! Run!” Sayuki barked, throwing down a smoke pellet and preparing a shunshin.
I caught her before she could escape but I still had to carry her with me to intercept Kuroiwa’s shunshin.
With both girls over my shoulders, I returned to our original starting point just as the smoke cleared. To the untrained observer, it would look like no one had moved.
I gave Sayuki that flattest look I possessed.
“Really?” I stated.
Sayuki returned the look back at me. “Am I wrong?”
“...no,” I admitted. “But that doesn’t mean you should joke around like that.”
Sayuki huffed. “You only lay it on thick like that when you’re feeling playful, so if anything, this is your fault,” she replied.
“She’s right sensei, It’s your fault,” added Kuroiwa.
For their cheek, I rewarded them with an exasperated look before sitting on the bench with them. With a flex of my chakra, a small circle of wind chakra formed around us that would obscure sight and sound.
The appearance of my anti-spying jutsu caused both of them to straighten up, understanding that I was done goofing around with them.
“We’re hosting the chunin exams in two months. Gengetsu is showing off the hospital system and hoping to inspire generational trauma into the genin that come through, so we need to be ready. We’ve got an open statement to work with so we can self-issue missions to ourselves.”
Kuroiwa perked up, and I was quick to cut her off. “Within reason,” I added, causing her to click her tongue.
“What do you even do with all the money you earn?” asked Sayuki, flicking her eyes up and down Kuroiwa’s form.
“That’s for me to know,” Kuroiwa replied.
I held back a smirk, knowing she actually used it to outfit most of her clan’s young in very good armor and weapons that would increase their odds of making it back from early missions. But I wasn’t about to spill that secret. It was better people thought her merely greedy.
“So what will you be doing if you’re offloading tasks onto us?” asked Sayuki as she accepted a list of suggestions that I’d written up to take advantage of the coming exams.
“I’m going to be undergoing private training. Or at least the first step in the training,” I admitted before tossing Sayuki another scroll. “This is for Shoto when he comes around.”
Sayuki shamelessly cracked the scroll open to read through it, only to see a cartoon figure with its tongue out. “Classy,” she muttered. “I’ll make sure he gets it,” she replied, eyeing me.
She knew I wouldn’t have just given her the scroll for a joke, so there had to be somehting more to it, and she was right.
The joke translated to a set of prearranged orders for him.
With that done, I was about to shunshin away before thinking better of it. If things went south and I was cast back injured, I might need someone around who could take care of me.
Rather than shunshin away to a private training area I’d established, I instead turned and smirked.
“See you later!” I declared with as much honesty as I could, my eyes observing them as I formed the handseals I’d garnered years ago.
Boar. dog, bird, monkey, and finally ram, then I cut my thumb lightly with a flex of chakra and slammed it into the ground.
“Summoning Jutsu!” I called before I could second-guess myself.
For an instant, I felt a chakra cage form around me that snapped shut, only to twist in on itself and rip itself through space and time.
Where before there was light, suddenly there was only an all encompassing darkness.
I had an instant to realise what was going to happen and flared my chakra as hard as I could only for the chakra cage that was around me to collapse, causing what could only be water to smash into me as the difference in pressure asserted itself.
I reeled from the blow as my body shuddered in agony. My mind stuttered but I clung to consciousness enough to form the water breathing jutsu that was common enough throughout Kiri that most Chunin could learn it.
For several seconds afterwards, I hung in the dark ocean breathing in and feeling a slight light-headedness. Experimentally, I expelled a small stream of bubbles to track which way was up and found myself staring at yet more darkness.
Should I ascend to safer waters?
Erring on the side of caution, I decided to drift upwards, barely agitating the water as I moved while questing out with my chakra senses, feeling for…
If I hadn’t been underwater right now, I’d have swallowed in fear.
Dozens of large chakra signatures swept through the waters around me, circling, watching, waiting.
Then one of the larger signatures broke ranks and sprinted towards me.
Rather than remain in place, I twisted, expelling water and air chakra to propel myself to the side before somehting took me out.
I barely saw the impression of fangs before it was past me.
An instant later, two more attacked from behind me.
Fuck. Pack hunters. My heart thundered in my chest but it sounded more like it was in my head as I whirled about, still unable to see anything but knowing they were there.
I twisted and dodged through the water only for another to approach at speed and abort, instead when it closed, it twisted such that its tail swept around and threw the water at me to send me ragdolling.
The other members of the pack converged.
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
I ripped control of the water around me, causing a sizeable portion of my chakra to vanish as I reorientated myself. The attacking pair powered on regardless and I felt a spike of annoyance.
I formed a wall of water around me like an orb before expelling it outwards in a wave of force.
The shockwave rippled outwards, only for several of the pack that I was facing to turn and counter with attacks of their own that blew through the water to break my attack.
With the waters around me swirling I continued to ascend, this time powering upwards in an attempt—
A clicking sounded through the waters accompanied by an illusion of swimming into a huge maw of teeth.
I broke it contemptuously and replied with one of my own.
“That was cute. Your illusions are weak,” I taunted through the voice throwing illusion.
This caused the pack to slow in their movements. I didn’t let that stop me though as I replied by willing my chakra into the waters around me.
I hadn’t endured years of growth around Gengetsu without picking up a few illusions of my own.
The Nightmare Viewing jutsu was a deceptively easy jutsu to use, but it could be much stronger depending on the imagination of the caster.
I, who had an entirely different life’s knowledge to draw on, could create dangerous eldritch threats when I wanted to.
Against the pack that was hunting me, I created a threat so strong they couldn’t ignore it.
From the waters, tentacles rose with a singular pulsing purple eye that thrummed and whispered at the same time.
The pack fell about itself, and I smirked, pleased that it had worked.
I continued to rise in the water, watching my surroundings only for a huge form to shoot towards me.
Sending out yet another illusion, I was disappointed when the beast batted it away with as much ease as I had earlier.
A screech through the water had me taking control of my ears and deafening my ears. Despite that my attempts I could still hear the roar. The water transmitted it perfectly and I felt my body shaking from the force of it.
Once more I force the water to still aorund me to protect myself even as I sped upwards.
Rather than stopping the roar continued, and in a way, pushed me faster and faster upwards.
Shit, going too high too fast was just as much a threat!
A glint of light was the only warning I had for reaching the surface before I was launched skyward.
I was tossed higher and higher, a stream of water casting me up until I finally saw light.
I gasped in fresh, clean air only to look down and see nothing but ocean around me.
Rather than panic, I controlled my descent by forming three clones that caught me and slowed me down.
I hit the water lightly, but still away from where the huge beast circled slowly. I could see the shadow in the water and it, whatever it was, was huge.
I prepared a special attack in my hand, knowing that despite the size of the beast, there was every risk it would be faster than I assumed.
Two clones appeared behind me. Working in concert we created my first truly unique jutsu.
Water chakra blended with the rasendan until I had a pulsing orb in my hand that had a small skirt of water around the edges while within a storm of chakra raged.
“We gonna keep going?” I growled, holding the Rasentorpedo above my head. If I released this, it was dying, no ifs, and or buts, about it.
“No,” rumbled the ocean, and a moment later the beast that had cast me up emerged.
The first thing I saw was teeth.
Huge, angular teeth that could crush me with ease.
Then the rest of the shape registered. Black and white shapes with small black eyes stared back at me.
On its back, a huge dorsal fin stood proud that would have been at least twenty metres tall alone. The entire beast? It must have been close to a hundred from nose to tail at least.
Rather than remain in one place, it circled slowly, watching me.
“I am Shimokati,” rumbled the beast before me. “Proud Matriarch of the Orca Clan. You have done well to survive the deep ocean.”
“I am Matsu Uzumaki! Jonin of Kirigakure and future Mizukage!” I declared without delay. Wait… weren’t female orcas smaller than the males?
Fuuuuuck.
“Why have you come, Matsu Uzumaki of Kirigakure?” questioned Shimotaki.
“I have come seeking to sign with a powerful clan! I need to grow stronger and protect those around me while leading my people to a better tomorrow!”
“A noble sentiment, many pod leaders seek to lead their families to better hunting grounds. I, as Clan Leader, seek the same for all of them. So, my question is this. How will joining you benefit us?”
“I am a powerful healer! I know many ways to ease illnesses, heal injuries and even help with births!” I called back.
Shimotaki twitched. “That… is a much better offer than many others have made in the past,” she admitted.
I mentally made a note that there had been others. I didn’t bother asking as to their fates. No one had demonstrated an Orca summoning to my knowledge, and such powerful beasts would be highly monitored.
I also noted that it spoke well of Shimotaki that she cared enough about her clan to see the benefits of allowing a healer to sign on with her clan.
So, you wish to call upon us?”
“That depends!”
“Oh? On what?”
“Can you teach me to wield the chakra of the natural world!” I called, slowly lowering the Rasentorpedo in my grasp and letting the chakra fade.
“Hahahahahahaha!” boomed Shimtoaki as her entire head rose and her tail slapped the water, causing a tidal wave with the action. “You seek to channel the energies of the world? Ambitious! Very ambitious! I approve! I will laugh and share your story when you fail!”
“I won’t,” I replied seriously, making sure to carve my words into the very air with my conviction.
Shimotaki turned and her smile stretched, causing more of her fangs to show. “I like you. You are strong and were able to play well with the younglings. You did not harm any of them with your game… you, also dress well.”
I blinked at the seeming nonsequiter only to recall an odd fact from my precious life. Orca’s were known to wear fish hats as a sort of ‘style’.
“Thank you,” I replied. “I must state, you are the most remarkable being I have ever encountered, and I’ve faced Manda of the serpent clan!”
“Ho? Well aren’t you a fun little human. I like you, but before I allow you to join our clan you must first swim with us and hunt as we do.”
“Hmmm very well, how long will that take?” I asked.
“As long as it takes. Make sure you keep up and play nicely with the others, it has been many years since a human has swum with us,” Shimotaki replied only to dip into the water without causing more than a few ripples.
Terrifying, my potential new summons were terrifying.
Perfect. That was exactly what I needed.
I tore into the water after her, using water chakra to ease my passage and propel myself through the water.
“Good, you can swim properly and not just float like a jellyfish,” echoed Shimotaki from all around me. Then a clicking sounded out and this time I heard responses from the ocean around us.
Soon, several dozen orcas were swimming through the waters around us. They twirled and danced and jumped out of the water with an energy that only children had in my past life.
Children in Kiri typically didn’t get to play like this.
Which was perhaps one of the great silent tragedies of our Village that we couldn’t afford such happiness.
Watching the orcas dance and swim was… actually rather enjoyable.
One particularly speedy Orca swam up to me and then twirled around me. “Tag~” it sang as it tapped me lightly with a flipper.
I blinked at the oddity of playing tag with giant killing machines that were literally known as killer whales only to smile and take off after it.
From there, it was all speed and force, and for a while, I lost myself. Then the clicking around me changed and the games fell away. They didn’t entirely vanish, but the clan was more serious in their movements.
There was a purpose to it now, and it only took a few minutes for me to pick up on what the clan had detected.
Seals were in the water, fishing for themselves.
The Clan clicked once and then fell silent some began ghosting to the left while others rose, took a breath of water, and then descended into the dark water.
I followed them, relying on my chakra sense to stay aware of their position, mine and that of our prey.
When the pod moved they made it a sudden rush with the pod on the left, herding the seals into the perfect spot. Most of the seals were too busy watching behind them to see the rest of the clan striking from below.
Red filled the seas for a while around and the clan fed well on the seals.
Shimokati swam up to me and observed me. “You kept up with us for over two hours of swimming, impressive for a human,” she remarked.
“I’m a shinobi. I’ve had to run for days on end. A few hours at that speed? I can go faster,” I answered honestly.
“Hmmmm good, good. You are strong. But you lack much that is needed to be our summoner. Your senses in the water must grow. You only detected the seals from a few kilometres out yes? We will rectify that by teaching you echolocation.”
“I will learn as best I am able,” I replied.
“Good, to be part of our clan, you must be capable of this,” she stated.
“When do we start?” I asked.
“We already have,” she replied. “Listen and grow,” she ordered.
Checking the water around me, I realised I’d been tuning out several ‘conversations’ going on that were entirely clicks and song.
For the next two hours, I worked at learning to project and interpret Echolocation. It was somewhat like my chakra sense but at the same time entirely reliant on a different medium. It didn’t help that during that time I was constantly ‘tagged’ by the pups of the pod, demanding I play while we continued to patrol the waters of the Clan.
Sadly, using Shadow clones proved to do nothing to speed the jutsu up. Which meant by the time the sun had set and fatigue was starting to set in I was still unable to use the jutsu.
“I will need to return home to rest,” I tried to inform Shimotaki. “I can come—”
“No,” she replied. “You either learn this, or you will not return home,” she answered, giving me a stern look. “These are our conditions. If you are unable to continue… then you will die. Such is the way of life,” she stated calmly.
Said statement lit a metaphorical fire under my ass to learn to echolocate a well as I could. Suddenly, the ‘games’ that the clan insisted I take part in took on a sinister edge.
It was no longer a simple innocence but a method of checking if I could keep up with them.
The constant movement was another issue with my body being forced into an endurance event that used every muscle even as my chakra worked in five different ways.
I couldn’t solely focus on creating my jutsu to compensate. I had to do it all.
I swam on, chakra and body straining with the task.
After another two hours, I noticed that some of the clan were fading back. They were dropping aay out of my sensory range all while the clicking, songs, and games continued around me.
Testing me.
The water suddenly returned to be a dark vast space with beings out there observing me.
On I swam.
Two more hours.
My chakra flexed and morphed as I tried to cobble together something similar to my chakra senses only for sound.
More of the clan dropped away, but I knew they were out there.
I could hear them.
With more of the clan dropping away, I knew I was coming close to hitting an unspoken deadline for me to go from being a potential pod member, to prey.
One of the pups continued to swim next to me.
“Why’s this taking you so long? You just need to listen and sing back with the clan? It’s easy!”
I felt like laughing. It was like telling a bird it was failing because it couldn’t swim as well as a fish.
I didn’t have ears like an Orca. Which…
My mind snapped into focus as an idea formed in my mind.
I surged towards the closest member of the pod still with me and touched them, spiking my chakra through them with the diagnostic jutsu.
I focused specifically on their ear and how it was shaped along with any other sensory organs.
What came to me was like a thunderbolt. Their brains nd sensory systems were vastly different from what I possessed. I wouldn’t be able to perform echolocation. Not like them, not unless I made it for myself.
Which, the only way I could do was with a chakra construct.
I swept my chakra into a shell around my head to help propagate the clicks, along with feeding a looser system into my ears to register the feedback I would be receiving.
It took me another three hours, by which time my chakra was flagging but then, with a final twist, the ocean around me exploded into life.
I stilled and swept my head around, turning this way and that.
What had seemed a barren void of nothing but water was now revealed to be teeming with life. Schools of fish, krill, jellyfish, turtles, and even another huge sperm whale were swimming within my range now. A range which… I wasn’t even sure how to compute.
Could they all of the Orcas sense this far out? That was crazy, and I doubted regular whales could do that. I decided to chalk it up to chakra bullshit.
It was so much larger than what I’d been capable of before… almost too much. I knew if I kept this up I’d start bleeding from the eyes and nose soon enough. Shit. Yet another thing I’d have to adapt for.
If I could, however… well, my own chakra sensory range should expand greatly.
Around me, the various Orca trilled in surprise at my achievement as they registered that I was now aware of them.
Shimotaki, who’d been staying close to me, circled as the rest of the clan returned to us.
“You have done it. Well, consider me impressed. Here, take this. You have proven capable enough to sign with us!” she proclaimed to a chorus of cheers from the rest of the Clan as Shimotake twisted and something swept out from her and into me.
It took my tired mind a moment to realise that it was a summoning scroll.
“None may sign on with us without proving themselves first,” Shimotaki intoned sternly.
I nodded to her in thanks. “I will return, to learn more from you,” I stated, knowing there was a lot a clan that spent their entire time in the water could teach me.
“Good, we will see you again,” Shimotaki stated, only to wheel away.
With the scroll in my grasp I felt something click home in my coils, and I realised that I now had the ability to leave when I desired.
Apparently, that was something that a summoning clan could restrict?
Interestingly, it hadn’t been in the coils but around the coils. So I hadn’t felt it but it had still been there to restrain my efforts to leave.
Fuck that wasn’t something anyone spoke about. It might be an interesting point of research.
I flexed my chakra and desummon myself.
I reemerged just in front of the training field atop the apartments within Kiri. My ears popped from the sudden pressure differenetial and I staggered.
“Woah! Woah there Matsu, we’ve got you,” gasped Kuroiwa as she leapt forward to catch me.
I blinked slowly at her.
“Thought you’d be off running missions to earn money?” I teased.
“I know where the real cash comes from,” she replied easily as her chakra swept through me, checking me for injury. “Come on, you’re just tired. Walk it off Sensei.”
I laughed, amused at how similar Kiri was to the dynamics of the Orca Clan.
There was no rest for the wicked indeed.
I closed my grip around the summoning scroll and allowed myself to be taken back to my room where I settled in for a long sleep. I’d taken a huge risk today, but I’d cleared the hurdle and there promised to be a lot of reward with what the Orca clan had to offer me.
I had no doubt that they would continue to push me to excel.
Which made them perfect.
With them I could never grow lazy, much like I couldn’t in Kiri.
Tomorrow, I was going right back there and earning as many orca’s respect as I could.
Two months to the chunin exams? Well, that was plenty of time.
______________
A.N. Thanks go to my patrons for your continued support.
So? Who had Orca on their bingo card for potential Summoning clan that Matsu might end up with?
They are an intersting choice as they are predators that have a strong group dynamic, while also being able to take out other big fish on their own if it comes down to it. They are fashionable, playful, but also absolute nightmares to deal with.
In a way, they’re the perfect Kiri summon.
Wonder how the shark summons will react?
Ah well! We’ll just have to see won’t we?
Any thoughts on other jutsu beyond sonic based attacks and water jutsu that Matsu might pick up from them?
Thanks also go to Twmmy for proofreading this chapter!
Comments
G 21
So cool
Poops
I hope we see an unessasary amount of rasangan variants depending on who makes them. Gengetsu defenelty has one already. Probably a sniping attack or somthing
milly
How come this story gets such slow updates but hard enough which has 400 chapters gets updates multiple times a week
Mr Mouse
Moose Hunting Jutsu
J H
Nice, I'm glad he finally got a summon. He's hitting the edges of how far he can go in a short amount of time without working towards sage mode, so this is perfect. Also, not sure if others are having this issue, but I'm not getting email notices when new Red Riot chapters come out. My last one I see in email is Chapter 45 but it's happened with this story before. Doesn't seem to happen for Hard Enough.
Bat
Awesome. Love this OC animal clan!
Monkeu Pon
So when is he gonna get the vanishing Rasengan? Also how is this gonna work on land? Giant blob of water like Kisame?
Raikor
Oooh, I like them.
