OverXelous
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31. Hesitation
🕑 Added 2025-01-31 14:00:18 +0000 UTCAlex stifled a yawn as he shuffled into the massive kitchen. Even with his [Sleep Resistance] passive, he felt tired after staying up late into the night with Olivia. He squinted against the light that streamed in through the glass windows of the courtyard and winced as Gabby greeted him with her normal early morning energy.
“Good morning, Boss!” She drug out the first part of the sentence.
“Coffee.”
Gabby paused and looked at him. “You don’t normally drink coffee. You feeling okay?”
“Just tired. Between my Willpower and one of my skills, I almost never need coffee anymore, but I love the stuff. I just want to have a cup to sip on.”
“Ahh,” she nodded knowingly. “Alright, you just go relax in the living room and I’ll bring it to you in a minute.”
“Thanks, Gabby. You’re a saint.” Alex waved and moved out of the kitchen. Once he got to the couch, he flopped down and wondered where the others were. Gently, as to not wake him up, Alex felt through his bond to see if Valtherion was awake.
“Alex?”
He groaned as there wasn’t even the slightest pause between him reaching out and the response. The little beast was already awake and, if the feelings pulsing through their connection were any indication, currently bolting from his office down the stairs to find him.
There wasn’t even time to sit up before the companion’s wings could be heard and he was hovering in front of Alex.
“Hey, buddy. Good morning.”
“Good morning,” Valtherion said.
It still caught Alex a bit off guard how much Val’s intelligence and maturity seemed to jump with the advancement. Not only were his sentences coming out more clearly, but he seemed to lean more toward vocalizing, rather than using their bond to communicate.
Heavy footsteps announced Mark’s arrival before he appeared. He was wearing gym shorts and a tank top that showed off his newly enhanced physique. “Morning, dude. Sam up yet?”
“Haven’t seen him,” Alex said, while stifling a yawn. “But he was pretty excited about his class evolution last night. Did he end up picking one of the passive options yet?”
As if summoned, they heard socked feet thumping down the stairs in a rapid tempo before Sam slid around the corner. He was still in his pajamas, but held something in his hand. “Guys! Look what I got when I chose the Turtle Spirit!” He thrust forward a small wooden totem, roughly the size of a pill bottle.
The carved turtle was simple and slightly more elongated than Alex might envision a turtle, but knowing what it was, he could clearly spot the little arms, legs, and shell. The shell was the most interesting part of it, and there were some detailed swirling patterns etched into the small wooden figurine.
“What is it?” Mark asked.
“The System called it a token totem, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do with it. But I do feel some kind of connection to it.”
“Is it the turtle spirit?”
“I guess so?”
All three of them looked down at the totem in Sam’s hand for a moment, unsure of if something was going to happen.
“What does it do?” Mark said in the same tone as before.
“I don’t know,” Sam said while curling his hand around it. “But I know I need to keep it with me, that’s really all. Maybe I’ll attach it to my staff or something? Maybe put it on a necklace? The description didn’t change much from the original, so I guess I’ll have to try and test what the passive does.”
Sam shared his System window with them.
***
Passive Skills:
[Herbal Knowledge] (Tier I)
[Roots of Restoration] (Tier I)
[Spiritual Communion - Turtle Spirit] (Tier I)
***
***
[Spiritual Communion - Turtle Spirit] (Tier I) - The Turtle embodies a steady presence in the face of adversity. There is a quiet wisdom in waiting, and a quiet strength in not rushing. Over time, the Druid may come to realize that this spirit helps them remain composed, and resilient in both body and mind.
***
“Dang, it still looks awesome,” Alex said. “My [Mana Thread] also has a more descriptive flavor text. Normally the System just tells you the bare minimum of what the skills does.”
Mark reached into his spatial pouch and pulled out a protein bar. “Oh great, now we’ve got a spiritual guru. Next thing you know, he’ll be burning sage before we enter the Rifts.”
Sam pulled the token closer with one hand while taking a playful swing at Mark with the other. Which just led the big man to laugh and flex his muscles.
“Can’t hurt me with that, Turtle Man.”
Alex rolled his eyes. “Speaking of Rifts. Are you two ready to go for today’s Rift? When do you want to leave?” As he was speaking, Gabby entered the living room carrying a steaming cup of coffee. The smell immediately pulled Alex’s attention to the ceramic cup.
“Let’s go soon. I’m itching to get back in there. We already took a two day break.”
“I’m happy to go whenever,” Sam said.
“Alright, let’s check gear and get ready to head out in an hour or so?” Alex suggested.
Both of the other men nodded. Meanwhile, Gabby stood there looking between the three of them. She put her hands on her hips and gave them a stern look. “I know that the three of you- four, sorry Val, are not about to leave this house without eating some breakfast. Before you even get there it’ll be lunch time.”
All of them looked at each other. “Of course not.”
“Gaabby…” Alex said, drawing out her name. “Could you please make us some breakfast before we go?”
“Of course! And I’ll pack a lunch for you to put in your little pouches, too.” She nodded happily as she turned and bustled her way back to the kitchen.
After she’d left, Alex turned back to Mark. “How is your shield holding up? It looked pretty beat up after that last clash with the Crystal Wolves.”
“Yeah,” He reached into his pouch and pulled out the kite shield and held the protein bar in his mouth. Setting the shield down on the couch next to Alex, he ran his fingers over the scratch marks before removing the protein bar from his mouth. “It’ll hold for today, but I should hit up that equipment section of the Auction House before the girls join us on Monday.”
Sam had already pulled out his staff and a length of cord. “Maybe I could tie the totem here? Right above the grip?” He was talking to himself, but Alex couldn’t help but give a small smile at the teenager.
Before Alex could respond, Mark produced a small cloth bag from his spatial storage with a grin that made Alex groan. "Please tell me that's not what I think it is."
"Listen, all I'm saying is- the snow Rift was a bust because I couldn't get to any dirt. This time I'm prepared." Mark patted the bag of earth like it was precious cargo. "You'll see. Earth magic is coming my way."
Alex shared an amused look with Sam, who was still fiddling with his totem. In just a week, it felt like they were already falling into an easy rhythm. The first Rift had done a lot to develop Mark and his kit as a tank.
By learning the [Taunt] skill on his own, he had something of an idea of how to apply mana and intent to create a skill. This first hand experience was great and Alex felt like he saw a light bulb go off in Mark’s head as he understood what he and Sam had been trying to talk about. With him consuming the skill token the day before, he now had a [Charge] skill to add to the repertoire, which was something he had been trying to learn but wouldn't need to worry about anymore.
While Alex felt it was a bit of a waste, since it felt like something that might be easy to get on his own, but Mark seemed giddy with excitement and wasn’t in the least bit put off by the System giving him the skill before he could develop it.
With the Rift they planned to enter that day, without the girls, Alex figured Mark would likely even pass Sarah in levels. Likely in the next week or two, he would hit level ten and get to pick his class options.
I need to make sure he’s not getting carried. I don’t want to hamper his class options just because I’m helping too much and he isn’t able to actually tank.
“You guys ready to run a Rift without our damage dealers?” Mark asked jokingly as he put the dirt pouch and shield away.
Alex gave a short laugh at the use of video game terminology and he wondered if Mark was reading his thoughts. “I’ll give you as much damage as the Rift needs, but I’m not going to make things easy for you. Sam, too. We need to make sure that you’re getting challenged and working toward the goal of a tank if you want some good class options at level 10.”
Mark made a pfft sound. “Make it as hard as you can. I’m going to earn an epic class, just watch.”
“You can’t do that, knuckle head. You have to be D-Rank before you can get an epic class.”
“Watch me.”
Sam looked over and held up his staff triumphantly. Happy that the small totem dangled from just below the head of the staff. “Hey, I can do damage.”
“Sure you can, kid.” Mark ruffled Sam’s hair.
Using the staff, Sam pushed his hand away. “You saw me fight that plant! I can to.”
“I saw those thorns almost gobble you up!”
“Yeah, but I could just heal through it.”
“Gotta keep working out in the gym to get big and strong!”
Both Alex and Sam rolled their eyes before they all broke to get dressed before heading to the next Rift.
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The acrid smell of sulfur filled Alex’s nostrils as he crouched behind a jagged obsidian formation. Sweat beaded on his forehead and caused his hair to cling to his face, threatening to drip sweat in his eyes. He blinked rapidly while focusing on the volcanic field ahead where a pack of Ember Hounds lounged.
A week ago, they’d have struggled with just one or two of these.
Now, his team of friends moved with efficiency and confidence. Mark stepped into the open, his new shield gleaming against the backdrop of glowing lava pools. He slammed the shield with his hammer and the sound echoed across the mostly barren landscape.
Through his eye, Alex could see a pulse of energy radiate outward as [Taunt] activated and drew the attention of the flame-wreathed canines.
Sam hung back, but lifted his staff in one hand and raised his other high in the air as he activated a preemptive heal. His eyes darted from Mark to Olivia as she stepped forward to reposition.
Sarah’s melody drifted through the hot air, her flute seeming out of place, though it did a lot even in that pre-battle moment to bolster their spirits. Alex felt his muscles loosen and a surge of energy flowed through him as her aura boost took effect.
Alex grinned. They were working well now that there were a few battles under their belt and it wasn’t just practice at in their backyard supporting their formations and decision making. He raised his hand and began to use his threads to create a ritual around the group.
A deafening roar shook the ground beneath their feet, though it didn’t break his concentration.
What the-
The rock formations near one of the lava pools shattered, revealing a massive, black serpentine form. Scales of dark copper glinted in the hellish light as a large beast appeared.
The beast’s red eye caught Alex’s attention and his breath caught in his throat. Memories of the massive form of the Firstborn flooded back. His heart beat erratically and his already slick hands began to shake.
“Alex?” Mark’s voice held a note of uncertainty.
Fuck. They need to get out, they can’t fight it. I need to get them out. I need-
“Alex!” Olivia’s shout snapped him back. While he’d hesitated, the creature had lunched forward and swung its massive lower body and tail in a sweeping arc toward Mark.
Alex activated [Feather Step] to try to close the distance and help his friend, but it was too late. The tail caught Mark in the side, sending him flying. He crashed into a nearby rock formation with a sickening thud.
“Mark!” Sarah’s flute faltered with a harsh note.
Sam was already moving, green energy pulsing from his staff as he ran toward their fallen friend.
Olivia’s shadows writhed, her form blurring as she dashed between the Ember Hounds, keeping them at bay.
A massive blue explosion filled part of his vision and he looked over to find a crater where the beast had been. The front half of its elongated body was gone, replaced by a bloody mess at the bottom of the crater.
“Prick,” Valtherion said before flying over to Mark and Sam.
Another large beast burst from the lava, following in the wake of the first. It undulated forward, dripping lava, and began to eat its fallen companion in one large bite.
Shit. They’re counting on me and I froze. That’s not the Firstborn, you moron.
“Olivia, keep the hounds busy! Sam, get Mark back on his feet. Sarah, switch to offense!” Alex gave out orders and was glad to hear his voice was steadier than he felt. Blue strands shot from his fingertips as [Mana Threads] dipped into the Mana Stone dust at his waist and shot forward to wrap around the beast’s head. It thrashed, nearly yanking Alex off his feet, but he held firm.
Congratulations, [Mana Thread] has leveled up! You have reached the Tier threshold of an active skill. Would you like to advance or evolve this skill?
Advance: This skill stays the same and advances to an improved version in the same tree.
Evolve: This skill changes based on the different ways you may have used it or pushed the bounds of its purpose. You will lose levels in this skill if you choose this option.
Advance / Evolve?
He dismissed the window and focused on restraining the beast as best he could. All of his Will and intent was focused on concentrating the threads to maintain their strength and hold against the beasts thrashing.
While waiting for his friends to recover, he held the beast, wanting them to get most of the experience for the kill. He used his Heavenly Eye to scan the creature and wanted to kick himself as he took in the screen.
Magma Worm - Level 11
Level eleven! You’re jumping at shadows and if it weren’t for Sam, Mark would be seriously injured. Get your shit together, man.
Alex berated himself, and the next few minutes were a blur of action. Mark rejoined the fray, moving slower but still drawing the beast’s attention. Sam’s healing spells worked over time, and they’d done some immediate work with [Healing Touch]. Olivia danced among the Hounds, using her superior levels and stats to hold off several monsters at once while the rest of the group took down the worm.
When the dust settled and the fight was done, they stood victorious, if exhausted. Mark leaned heavily on his shield, wincing, but a grin spread across his face. “Dude, I just leveled up again! That hit was totally worth it.”
Sam looked pale, his mana reserves nearly depleted. Sarah's fingers trembled as she lowered her bow. Even Olivia's usual grace seemed diminished.
"I'm sorry," Alex said, the words tasting bitter. "I hesitated. I should have-"
"You got us through it," Olivia cut him off, her tone firm.
Mark nodded, still grinning despite his injuries. "Yeah, man. We all freeze sometimes."
"But you're all looking to me, and I can't afford to-"
Sarah laid a hand on his arm. "Alex, you're growing into this role. Leaders aren't perfect, they learn and grow, just like the rest of us. Give yourself some time."
Sam piped up, "And you did take charge once you snapped out of it. That was pretty cool."
Valtherion flapped his wings and wrapped himself awkwardly around Alex’s shoulders before head butting him. “Stupid Alex, is favorite stupid. Friends are fine, all stronger.”
There was a chorus of laughs and agreements from the others.
Alex looked at them, seeing only understanding and trust- more trust than he felt like he deserved. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Okay, let’s talk about what we could have done better while we take a break. All of us could improve. I’ll go first…”
As they huddled together discussing strategies and what-ifs, Sam’s {Nature’s Refuge} bloomed out from around him. Alex was impressed that he could remain calm enough to activate the trait, despite the current situation, but he nodded thankfully at their healer.
Alex felt a warmth in his chest and knew that it had nothing to do with the volcanic heat or Sam’s trait. He was happy that they were making progress in the Teams Event, but he couldn’t be more proud of the progress they were making as a team.
They wrapped up their debrief of the battle and before picking up to carry on through the Rift, Alex pulled up the notification he’d received midbattle. Seeing the same text that he’d received in his battle with Xui, when he was in the Celestial Rift, Alex felt his pulse quicken with excitement.
He mentally selected the option to advance the skill, rather than evolve it as he’d done before.
***
Analyzing skill usage… Skill Advanced: [Mana Thread] (Journeyman - Level 1)
***
Seeing that the level had returned to one, but that the proficiency level of the skill had bumped to Journeyman, Alex pulled up the description of [Mana Thread] to see what had changed.
***
[Mana Thread] - Create impossibly thin and tightly controlled tendrils of mana. Your control and mastery over shaping mana reaches new heights.
Dedication and practice to controlling multiple streams of mana have led to the proficiency increase in volume of threads. The Awakened can now easily produce a multitude of mana threads at once.
***
Alex let out a quick whoop of joy at seeing his skill advance and give the benefit that he’d been hoping for. He’d practiced and constantly tried to use the skill with the intent of having many threads active at once.
Mark and Sarah asked him what had happened, and as he caught up with the group, he shared the new skill screen with them. There was a round of congratulations as they moved deeper into the hot and rocky terrain.
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What did you guys think of the time skip in the middle of the chapter? Did you think it was too abrupt?
I tried to hint at two things (shield and the girls) at the end of one scene and then mention them almost immediately in the new scene but it still might feel too jarring.
I'm open to adjusting this depending on feedback. I'm seeing if I can do a little less "hand holding" with readers sometimes. This MAY be what I'm looking for, or might just not be a great spot to apply that logic. Looking forward to what you guys think!
Comments
Rui Lourenço
Time skip was very obvious to me.
Spencer Needler
Add a “few days later” indicator for time jumps it was well written but still jarring and broke the flow
Sodium
I think the mid chapter time skip worked great, it wasn't confusing to me at all
V L
“She drug out the first part of the sentence.” -> Dragged The word to use is dragged.
3X!3X
The presence of the girls made it obvious some time had passed but for me personally I didn’t really register the “new” shield right away… I think it was overall fine though, and I feel like small time skips like this can be appropriate. I loved this chapter, thank you.
.strano
Time skip itself is fine, but sudden presence of the girls a bit confusing at first, als you have to reestablish mentally the active participants of the scene. Maybe start the second part more explicitly with the new persons (by starting with them instead of Alex/Mark) to make that transition to a new "dramatis personae space" more smoothly.
OverXelous
The description of the new and advanced skill, reads: ----- [Mana Thread] - Create impossibly thin and tightly controlled tendrils of mana. Your control and mastery over shaping mana reaches new heights. Dedication and practice to controlling multiple streams of mana have led to the proficiency increase in volume of threads. The Awakened can now easily produce a multitude of mana threads at once. ---- Though that may be a little lost because Patreon is so frustrating with formatting. It likes to drop down the *** that I put in there. I'll fix the formatting right now so it's more clear to other readers.
Corwin
Evolution should be more multifaceted. Since it's not I don't want to keep this skill, but I want to focus on this or I want it to branch out in a new way. While advancement is more straightforward with maybe minor changes and tweaks. Since you have broaden your understanding of the skill. Also you have in the chapter it's [Mana Thread] (Journeyman level 1) no multi threads. But with how Alex has used his Mana Thread ability. I think the System should give him a couple of options and a countdown. Since it's not like what he went with [Empowerment Step] to [Feather Step]. That was something he was directly training for. [Mana Thread] he has had a few ideas and pushed the boundaries of what it was capable of: using Mana dust to make it more physical, using it to communicate, using it for rituals, and so on.
Ron
The skip was brutal for me. I saw the dashes, new the scene was changing, but thought that you just skipped over the driving to the rift part. I was completely confused to see the girls with them. I eventually got it, but I thought that was a big skip. That said, I wanted to see Alex level up his mana thread skill, so that was good. I thought he would have evolved but in a way that laying down a ritual would be instantaneous and like a template where 100 threads come out and each draw 1 inch and poof, the ritual is done. I get your logic explained in the other thread though. And maybe he can do this with the advancement too.
OverXelous
Yeah the System takes intent into account in both scenarios. The difference between the two options is simple though. Evolve = totally new skill. This is supposed to represent a more drastic change (basically telling the System I don't want to keep this skill) Advance = same skill, potential improvements. This is supposed to keep the same skill and potentially make improvements (basically telling the System, I like this skill and am continuing to push further with it) Evolve = Reset the skill to Novice. Advance = Skill goes up a proficiency Tier (Novice > Journeyman) The fact is that Alex has not (this entire time) been thinking about turning [Mana Threads] into a new skill. He's been thinking about how to improve the current skill (Multi Threads). So the only answer is to advance the skill if he wants to keep Mana Threads. He doesn't know what he's going to get if he Evolves it. It likely wouldn't be something completely trash, as the System takes intent into account. But it would be a different skill all together. That's how Evolve works. It might have some qualities similar to the threads, like I was mentioning webs in the example above. But there's a big risk to the choice to evolve since he doesn't know what he's going to get and he likes the option he has currently.
Caleb Reusser
You specifically stated that Evolve grows the skill depending on how he has been using it. Therefore if he chose evolve it shouldn'tcut him off from using it in anyway that he has currently used it. The only loss would be in strength of the skill due to lower level. "Evolve: This skill changes based on the different ways you may have used it or pushed the bounds of its purpose. You will lose levels in this skill if you choose this option."
PWeygandt
The literal line across the page was more than enough of a give away that the scene had changed! I thought that it flowed well
Abithy
Time skip was good, I would like to see the Evolve mana thread option even if he doesn't take it. And maybe how Mark used "earth magic" in the last fight.
Corwin
For the evolution I don't see that changing that radically. Since we haven't seen an evolution take on half a dozen changes. Maybe if Alex was further along that would work. But his foundation isn't big enough or strong enough to make that an evolution possibility for now. I can see the more threads and more physical aspect. But I dont think the ritual aspect would go away, since that isn't how Alex has been attempting to use it. Though a more physical ritual would make them standout when he uses them and have it's own issues. I could see Mana Web taking on multiple threads and having a physical component. Maybe a way to make it stick to something, as well anchoring it to something. Or letting it move through the air if it's windy. (Basing this off of spiders silk and usage) But this is a first evolution and while the skill is unique it shouldn't be revolutionary until the second or third evolution.
OverXelous
Ahh I see, yes he's been pushing for more threads, but that kind of adjustment comes from advancement, not Evolution. Advancement keeps the same ability but progresses it in the same "skill tree" it won't always gain a quality or effect, but it is still Mana Thread, just adjusted. So here, he does get the multi thread that he's been working for. Evolution should change the ability entirely and is likely based around however the awakened was attempting to use the ability before. So my guess is that if he Evolved the skill, he'd get something like Mana Web, where he is sacrificing control for just a lot more of the thread coming out and likely more of the physical aspect since he uses the Mana Dust a lot. This would have its uses, but would pigeonhole him and likely not allow him to create rituals anymore.
Corwin
True. But he has been pressing for more threads. If he could add more threads he could do more. Not sure it would have changed to just ritual use. His Intent and usage has been broad and flexible. The biggest flaw is the lack of ability since it will lose levels and he will need to train more to adapt to its new ability. Especially if he gains a second thread. Since he would need parallel mind just to work both most likely to start with.
OverXelous
This made me chuckle. Thanks for the feedback!
Sam Mason
for me the time skip wasn't clear until Mark's new shield was mentioned. Not "jarring" but like a "watch your step".
OverXelous
I don't know, [Mana Threads] is pretty much his entire kit right now. Evolving it and changing it to a completely different skill seems like a really really rash decision. Even if he is a bit shaken up, the skill wasn't the problem, his hesitation and mentality was the problem. His use of Mana Threads actually saved the situation for him. If it changed to something that no longer allowed him to work well with Rituals, or changed to something that ONLY let him create Rituals, he'd lose a lot of his flexibility.
Corwin
I think Alex would push for the evolved rather than the advance. Since he just had a shake up, and evolution would have the possibility of helping him more than regular advancement. And since people tend to over correct it would be more in align with Alex. Though he may hate the evolution and realize he made a mistake in overcorrecting later
Beeees!
New shield and Olivia and Sarah's presence made time skip clear, as well as dashes for scene change. Felt smooth and I liked that we got pushed forward a bit. Maybe sometime in the next few chapters have a short but about thier progress so far in the dungeon clearing challenge
Nathaniel Ownbey
Yeah when I read it I just ignored the dashes
spoonful_of_sugar
Oohh, I hadn't thought about it but the turtle passive is the best match for Sam's trait. Tftc! Answer to the question: not abrupt in my honest opinion, the - - - gave away the time skip
OverXelous
Yeah, it's just a bunch of dashes in here because Patreon is horrible at formatting. But in Royal Road I can actually add a chapter break, which is very visually noticeable.
Nathaniel Ownbey
Okay went back and noticed how you currently have it I guess I just missed it.
Nathaniel Ownbey
More how in certain books that feature POV swaps when the author swaps the pov mid chapter they add a mark to indicate the switch. It doesn't necessarily have to be a space either just try to indicate that the skip is happening.
OverXelous
What do you mean an extra space? Like actually hitting *Enter* a few more times? or an extra scene?
Nathaniel Ownbey
It is to jarring. I would add an extra space to separate the sections better.
Ben
Time skip was good! We don't need to be bogged down by inconsequential fights
Beeees!
Tftc!
