Patrefans
OverXelous from patreon
OverXelous patreon

59. Rifts, Plural.

🕑 Added 2025-03-10 13:00:17 +0000 UTC

Comments

Thomas V.

I’m kinda happy I let this story accumulate some chapters until book 2 was finished, it means I can binge it all! I’ll probably have to stop subscribing after though, as you no doubt noticed already: I’m currently at €140 a month worth of subscriptions *pre* tax, so about €170 total. I gotta cut down a bit, and I have some authors who I know for a fact need the financial support to stay afloat. Though maybe that will change one day, and I’ll be right back here!

OverXelous

Big things happen with Rylan in the next week. >:) Also, you *crushed* those chapters! Thanks for reading and supporting. Welcome to the Patreon!

MagicWafflez

.... wow. he told her. specifically. to keep rylan in fucking check. and she *still* put him with alex's team. I'm about done with the guild, tbh. Elana wants to take her TYRANT brother's side, then maybe the government *is* the better option. smh. the fact that he just gets away with it is ridiculous. sigh. I lowkey hope he dies here, but we're not that lucky

Korriberg

Just caught up, thanks for the chapter, I really hope stuff picks up from now. I still enjoy the book and I'm just gonna try to give some honest feedback for you. Especially if you are looking to publish it at some point (Which you should, it's a great story mostly) I think a bit of polishing might be good. In all honesty the second half of book two has been feeling like quite the drag. The progression in the magic department for one: I think you could have leaned a bit less into the ritual part and maybe combined his two insight/eye combinations into one sitting. With this the part doesn't feel as much as a waste of time. It at least seems that Alex is kind of coming into his own as a Spellcaster, hopefully with some class evolution crediting his style of magic, potentially even removing his need for a wand (no real reason he can't gain a mana burst spell or something similar that could activate the circle, in fact I think I remember him kind of pushing out his mana through his fists before? So it should be possible). So stuff is looking up in that area but some edits to make it feel more concise in the last ~30 chapters could be a good idea. Secondly, rylan. This has gone on for to long as well, in fact I think you focused so much on showing his improvement and building him up as some kind of antagonist that Alex magic development or rather lack thereof feels even slower. It felt a lot like Alex regressed to some kind of indrawn punchingbag that is super easy to rile up and feels a bit spineless (for example Alex rolling over very easily when Elena just asked for help with the multiple rifts, she is clearly ignoring his issues (understandable to some degree but I feel like she should know her brother better and she is asking for help) while Alex lets himself be gaslit. People died over rylans shenanigans and if Alex actually believes the stuff he says he has every right to be weary especially if he is just put into a team with rylan, a bit of backbone or some kind of stronger ultimatum than "keep a tight leash on him" might be nice). I remember the Alex that just came out of the epic rift being relaxed and keeping his cool with rylan, you portrait him like some kind of unflappable person but that was for a few champters and now he feels very different as a character imo. Ok enough rambling, I am clearly a bit frustrated with the situation. Some good parts and the other characters; Val is very well done, he feels right. His progression is mostly smooth and his character is developing nicely. Mark as well, maybe a scene from his perspective when the situation happened, or him talking about it in a bit more detail? The Olivia chapters were a very nice touch. Sarah feels a bit sidelined in everything, she is still level 6 (?) and is mainly occupied with work I guess. Yay for her getting Sam out! Sam's reasoning for leaving for a week was a bit unclear to me and him coming back due to them bailing him out feels rushed, could add a bit of time and show his parents moving not just telling it in a side sentence. Last thing: I love the idea for the magic Alex is using, super cool to use rituals and runes as a combination. Very unique and fun! Also Alex kind of floating/gliding around with feather step while he checks his notebook and weaves circles during a fight is awesome! Making the wand more an amplifier than a necessity in the future is def something I'm hoping for! Ah really last thing! The house and base building dynamics are great, Edwin is a fantastic character that fits super well. Maybe some Sidestorys or scenes from his perspective planning some estate stuff could be great, that way Alex can progress and you can "skip" the time by switching to some side characters. Ok, enough, really this time. I think your story is just beginning and it has great potential! Definitely a super fun read that I will follow along for now. Hope you are not discouraged by my criticism, you are doing great! :) Best wishes and looking forward to more chapters


More Creators