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63. Moving Forward

🕑 Added 2025-03-19 13:00:13 +0000 UTC

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OverXelous

That's a fair point, thanks for the feedback. Rereading that bit, it does seem like something he and his wife should have at least had pop into their mind when he began talking about a position for them. I'll make a note of it and look at adjusting it before it goes to RR. Thanks again!

Lenora

One small thing bothered me in this chapter - the line from Sam’s dad about greenhouses being a brilliant idea. Either that idea should come from the dad as buy in, or he shouldn’t react that way to it. A farmer for 30 years wouldn’t think it was any smarter than saying ‘hey what if you used a tractor instead of plowing by hand’. You’re basically coming up against the trap of having other characters lose agency or intelligence to make the main character look good. That ends up just making everyone look bad. Your side characters should have just as much intelligence and drive as the main character or they’ll just end up as paper thin set dressing and kill some of the immersion. Generally though, great chapter!

Beeees!

Wow, the elves certainly didn't waste time. That rift needs clearing for sure!! I'm honestly suprised they didn't try diplomacy of some sort, MC is still in a slightly naive state in which he would probably happily explain his theories to then if they showed interest. Though maybe I'm not giving enough credit to his growth, he would probably be sus about elves showing up out of nowhere


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