Elliott Kay
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Story Post: GI V, Chapter Six!
🕑 Added 2025-04-01 22:46:16 +0000 UTCHey all,
Remember long, long ago when I started posting chapters of forthcoming books, and I warned that anything posted here is subject to change in the eventual final novel?
This month's chapter is, in fact, the finished chapter in its current form, edited and revised in an extra pass to give you a quality read, but there's a good chance the opening scene may get a full rewrite when I get into book revisions. To be blunt, I can't decide if I want to have a whole fight scene or not. A battle seems super appropriate here... but also not, and I'm weighing how much action the book needs in terms of pacing, energy, etc. Also, the "Talia" stuff (you'll see when you get there) makes sense in the moment, but in hindsight it feels like a Chekov's Gun that never actually goes off in the book.
These are the things that happen when one writes a novel. All that said, MOST of this chapter will stay as-is, and I hope I'm giving you a fun read. If you've ever wanted to see the inner workings of how a novel gets made, here's a good example!
Hope you enjoy regardless, and as always, thank you so much for your support!
Comments
Karl-Johan Norén
"giving chores to the receptionist to extract more value for their wages" - reminds me of Amanda's job back in Days of High Adventure. Curious that Annabelle had never encountered another angel who had a romantic attraction to their ward, since Rachel had encountered several and there were rules in place if such things happened. Or another case of a culture of silence and uncuriousity in Heaven? Hints of possible murkiness in how Dave lost his guardian, first from Deborah and now Annabelle.
Elliott Kay
Think I just goofed something. Noted for edits & revisions. Thanks!
Karl-Johan Norén
BTW, did you decide to switch out Mammon for Moloch as the "owner" of the Seattle-Las Vegas? Because having Mammon in the chapter 5 draft and Moloch in this one threw me for a bit.
