Kevin Curry
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Devil's Consultancy 54
🕑 Added 2025-12-10 08:14:11 +0000 UTCBruce was concerned when informed of the incident, of course, but attempted kidnappings occurred with a reasonable amount of regularity, a few times a month. Most were easily foiled even without tipping her hand vis a vis her secret identities, but of those that did, she didn’t feel too bad about confounding their minds to conceal the extent of her actions, usually by pinning the blame on one of the various vigilantes, or sometimes even one of the villains.
Sometimes, the solution was merely to alert a nearby villain or vigilante and let them actually handle things. Sometimes the solution was to bawl her eyes out and act so unreasonably (or… reasonably?) terrified that they get too distracted trying to calm her to properly execute the kidnapping. It varied. Most of the time it was just a matter of slipping through their grasp in a way that was plausibly blamed by them trying to kidnap someone who knew a thing or two about escape artistry.
Yes, Bruce insisted that she learn how to get out of ropes, handcuffs, and other restraints without magic alongside Richard. Like most of the non-sparring training, it sucked.
Anyway, confirmation from Jason’s death-attuned magic senses that the Talons were, in fact, undead, took a huge load off of Bruce’s mind. It meant he knew how to equip himself to deal with them, and that he didn’t need to hold back. He didn’t even punish her for resorting to lethal force so quickly, which was good, because Alfred was baking his literal award-winning cookies for dessert and she didn’t want to go without. If she had remembered that the cookies were baking, she’d have tried to capture the Talons instead.
“So you’re not going to go help?” Billy asked as they played videogames in the Batcave.
“I am helping.” Tanya said, “I’ve got my shade escorting Batman, they have the tracker’s data, I meditated those memories back and told them about the Talons that invaded my office… I’ll handle the rest of that tomorrow. For now, I need to forget that part where I died.” The doll’s memories were very lifelike. She had a few backup dolls to use, from when she tested how many she could operate at once. The results of that was that she still could only safely separate a third of her soul from her ‘primary’ existence without feeling a crippling amount of existential dread about going further, a warning she decided to heed, so the limit was one if she wanted to trust the doll to not do anything stupid, two before the dolls became unable to adequately impersonate her, and six before they couldn’t even glamor themselves into looking like the body they were meant to look like, and twenty-four before she couldn’t even move the things. Better dolls may improve these numbers, but it has not been a research priority.
“Is that why we’re playing this weird monkey game?” Billy asked.
“It’s whimsical!” Tanya insisted. “I had to pretend this was my favorite game for a while, or an older part of the series anyway, but I really do enjoy it. It’s the right blend of mindless and engaging.”
“Yeah, It’s pretty fun.” Billy agreed, “So when do you think Dad’s comi….” Billy jerked. “Oh, I forgot! Mom wanted me to ask how safe that ritual you have is.” Billy had clung rather tightly to the idea that Superman was now his dad, which was entirely understandable. She’d have done the same in his shoes, if for a less innocent reason… that sounded bad. Good thing it was just in her head and no one was currently reading her thoughts.
“Any that she has clearance to know about is very safe.” Tanya said, most of her attention absorbed by the game’s amusements, “At least, safer than any mundane alternative. But you’re going to need to be more specific if you want me to be.”
“The one that makes babies.” Billy clarified.
Ah. “I take it that their efforts to make a human-kryptonian hybrid the traditional way have not borne fruit?” Tanya asked, a wry smile on her lips.
“They didn’t tell me everything.” Billy hedged. Tanya wasn’t looking at him, but he sounded embarrassed about the topic. “But the Fortress of Solitude said that they should be able to give me a little brother, but it just hasn’t worked.”
“There could be any number of reasons for that.” Tanya mused. Just off the top of her head, as someone who was involved enough in the ritual’s development that she got a bit more than a laymen’s understanding of fertility issues, Clark’s frequent exposure to Kryptonite may affect his fertility, the means they used to protect Lois may cause issues, there may be some biocompatibility issue with any number of the numerous steps between intercourse and a successful pregnancy that isn’t strictly related to genetics… “But the fertility ritual does cover a wide variety of such reasons, so it may get them over the hump.” Or humping, as the case may be. “Couldn’t hurt to try.” Well, except for the sacrificial rabbits. Maybe Diana could get some life-affirming magic from the gods to substitute it for something more potent? Tanya still had a hard time getting stuff for that other than animal sacrifices. Wait, she fell off the stage! “Verdammt…”
“I’ll tell her you’ll help, then.” Billy said, “She was concerned about people knowing, though.”
“I can arrange something discreet, don’t worry about that. Nothing simpler” Tanya said dismissively. “Any concerns I do have aren’t likely to matter in the long run.” Yes, the ritual was designed for interspecies compatibility, but it was intended for the donor to be ‘lesser’ metaphysically than the carrier. Kryptonians would definitely qualify as a higher being, even if the disparity was not nearly as large as one would think, on a magical level. Clark’s magical resistance was terrible in comparison to his resilience against physical harm, but it was superior to your average joe. One of her old side projects that had fallen to the wayside was figuring out a magical tattoo to address that problem. Either way, if there was an issue, it would make the pregnancy simply fail, and the problem could be addressed in a second attempt.
“Good.” Billy said, still kind of tense around her when they were alone, even if they were in a public area, and wow was it weird to think of the Batcave as public.
Eventually, Clark showed up and took Billy to do some late night hero work in a place that was distinctly not Gotham, as it was not a school night and Bruce was, shockingly, not yet at the point where he was willing to accept Superman’s intervention in his territory. .
It was looking to be an incredibly busy night for Gotham vigilantes, gang wars were erupting in the streets, what few notorious supervillains that were not currently in prison were starting up trouble, the Riddler had once again sent Batman a series of puzzles and challenges that, on any other day, would have Bruce struggling to hide his eagerness to engage with, and there was, as of this very moment, several plots to attack her, personally, for her wealth and power. So what was an heiress to do?
Tanya went to bed. So much drama… Bruce’ll handle it.
-----------------------
“Rhine. Berechnung. Mahou. This knight has fought, wars go on, but health was bought, comes with the dawn.” Tanya incanted as she waved her blood magic wand. It was one of her better healing wands when it came to accepting demon magic to supplement it, and with the blood link, it was by far the best when it came to healing Bruce specifically. “There, you’re ready for a full day of dealing with the fallout of having one of your offices attacked.”
Bruce tensed in pain as the magic forcibly put his biology to rights, but once it was done he exhaled in pure relief. “Most of it’s already handled, I just need to make a press conference. You’re showing up, by the way.”
“Like hell am I going anywhere public today.” Tanya shot back. “Not in Gotham. I’ll send another mannequin puppet.” She may put in an appearance in the Watchtower, just to see how things have been going. She went to Jason, the sixteen year old laying half-asleep on the medical table, Alfred next to him finishing up with his own medical check. “Rhine. Berechnung. Mahou. Though his care was expert, have the damage spare his shirt.” The signs of medical care shedded off his body, clean skin where previously there were stitches, abrasions, and bruises.
“Talk about a shit rhyme.” Jason snarked as he stretched. Unlike Bruce, he had painkillers in his system. “Time for me to sleep in, as is my right as a teenager on a Saturday.”
“May I perhaps suggest you eat first, Master Jason?” Alfred said, taking the lid off the serving tray to reveal four homemade hamburgers. “You’re still a growing boy, after all.”
“Great idea, Alfred.” Jason said, immediately grabbing one and biting into it. Like a ravenous beast, what must be three thousand calories vanished into the teenager’s stomach in a short period of time. Yeah, she did that as a teenage boy too…
“Meanwhile, Master Bruce, Miss Tanya, breakfast has been prepared in the dining room for you.” Alfred said, not missing a beat.
Having spent the last two minutes changing clothes, Bruce picked Tanya up and placed her on his shoulders, walking up the stairs. “Watch your head, Princess.” Bruce warned as she ducked at the last second to avoid a doorway. “You’re not as small as you used to be.”
“Nonsense.” Tanya said, putting on a haughty air. “I am small and adorable.” Fortunately, the number of doorways low enough that she was at actual risk was rather small, so she only needed to duck once more on the way to the dining room. “Any rumors of my maturation are scurrilous lies.”
“So you’ve completely replaced your wardrobe because you felt like it, then?” Bruce asked, amused.
“It was time for me to update my fashions.” Tanya asserted, before bursting out laughing, leaning backwards until she slipped off of Bruce’s shoulders, catching herself on her hands before righting herself. “Ooh, waffles.”
While she was being contrary for a gag, it was true that her new wardrobe was notably different than it was before: previously, every outfit emphasized her youth and innocence, not a single dress without some level of additional bulk from lace, ruffles, or something similar, although some were fairly light on that front.
In contrast, her new fashion lacked these features on most of the outfits, instead portraying an aggressive neutrality that balanced maturity and innocence. The image it was intended to evoke was a girl who wanted to be seen as an adult but who had more conservative guardians putting strict limits on modesty that were constantly shoved against. Given that some of her heiress peers were already wearing things that exposed their midriffs or had quite short skirts and magazines pushed such fashions to preteens like Tanya, this still put her as notably more modest while not completely separating from what other preteen girls were wearing. She’d complain about how annoying it was to keep on top of trends, but frankly, keeping track of her clothes was one of the easier parts of maintaining her image.
“Miss Tanya, perhaps some seconds would do you good.” Alfred suggested, serving another plate of fruit-covered waffles. “You ate that last set rather quickly.”
“Yeah, growth spurts suck.” Tanya said easily. Really, everything about puberty sucked. Even the things that don’t suck, like getting taller, still sucked during the experience.
“Now you acknowledge it?” Bruce asked, amused.
Tanya gave him an innocent look. “What are you talking about? Alfred, have I ever denied the fact that I’m a growing girl?”
“Never to me, Miss Tanya.” Alfred said, equally amused.
“You must be confused.” Tanya concluded, turning back to Bruce. “Did you get enough sleep last night?”
Bruce laughed.
-----------------------
The Religion of Crime’s sprees did something that, beforehand, only The Joker created a large enough disturbance to create: The mayor declared a state of emergency, which required but received approval from the governor, a curfew, and otherwise went as close as was legally allowed in America to declare martial law without actually doing so. The Coast Guard deployed helicopters and boats, Commissioner Gordon ladled out overtime like it was Thanksgiving gravy, and economic activity slowed down to a trickle.
She wouldn’t be caught dead out here. Good thing she wasn’t the real Tanya, just a portion of her soul. “I told you before, Detective.” She said, “While I am quite certain that the attackers were undead revenants, I have not encountered these specific ghouls before, so I cannot say who commands them.”
“Guess.” Harvey Bullock said, scowling. “Don’t think I don’t know about your connection to the Waynes.”
“I haven’t the faintest what you’re talking about.” She said, “But if I had to speculate, the only thing that comes to mind was a rumor I heard when I was at the bar last night.”
“Which bar? Why there? Who were you meeting?” Harvey rattled off.
“One at a time, man!” Jim Gordon chastised, playing the good cop. “Now, Miss Degurechaff, finish your story.”
“Right.” She said, valiantly resisting the urge to roll her eyes. “Well, there’s this practitioner’s bar that I go to sometimes. Very exclusive, you need to have a bit of The Sight to even find the place.” This was actually true. She meets Professor Blood there every two weeks for a status update on project Last Laugh. “I don’t drink, but there’s always someone interesting to… speak with.” Something told her that implying this might come back to bite Tanya later, but it seemed like a good idea before she said it.
“Speak with, huh?” Harvey said, skeptical as he looked her up and down.
“Should I be requesting a female officer for this?” She said, pretending offense as she closed off her body language.
“That won’t be necessary.” Jim said, lightly smacking Harvey in the back of the head. “Keep your eyes to yourself, Bullock.” He smiled, his moustache turning up with his lips. “Continue.”
“Right, it was an offhand comment that I overheard, someone complaining about how The Talons would be out in force.” She said, weaving lies with truths expertly. “Which reminded me of a particular nursery rhyme-”
“You’re saying that the fucking Court of Owls tries to whack you?” Harvey interrupted, his tone making clear just how stupid he thought that was. “I’d sooner believe the Bat responsible.”
“I’m afraid that’s the only lead I can provide you, Detective. As a historian, I’ve learned to not be so dismissive of myths and rumors, they hold kernels of truth.” She said, giving an exaggerated frown. “Whoever it is, I don’t think they got what they wanted, so I’m not going to be showing my face in public for a while.”
“Yeah, that’s probably smart, lady.” Harvey said, “Big scary assassins and all that. Nearly killed you once, after all.”
“They didn’t.” She corrected, “If I was there in full, I’d have been able to fight them off.” She wasn’t nearly as powerful as Tanya is, most of her magical power was tied up in making her smart enough to act more or less as the real Tanya would, so she could adequately impersonate her to the office. “You’d have needed a dustpan to sweep them up. I’m more concerned about whatever else they might have up their sleeves.”
“...wait.” Harvey said, neurons visibly firing in his eyes. “Are you even here? Or did you just send another mannequin disguised like you?”
She smiled. “Commissioner, is there anything else you’d like to ask me? While I do have all day, I suspect your itinerary’s much denser than mine.”
“GCPD has no stake in whether or not you actually show up to work, Miss.” Jim said, chuckling. “That’s a civil matter between you and Mr. Wayne. I think we’re done here, Harvey.”
“...Yeah, you’re right Commish, we’re done.” Harvey agreed, “You going to be okay, lady?”
“An escort back to Tanya’s official address would be appreciated.” She said, “I need to return to my stand and I cannot teleport on my own, I was sent here by the real Tanya.”
“Knew it.”
-----------------------
Of course, there was more to the world than just Gotham, and while Raven and Nightwing were willing to assist, they still had their own territory, their own concerns.
For example: the arrival of Komand’r, Koriand’r’s sister. While the false cognate in her case was less ridiculous, she too quickly warmed up to using the translation, ‘Blackfire’, as her chosen name.
But Tanya didn’t learn about Blackfire from Richard, or Raven. No, she learned of Blackfire’s existence because the aliens from Gamma Centauri violated Earth’s sovereign orbit with a capture probe very much like the Gordanian ones, and when intercepted by Booster Gold and Valor, a remote connection from the crab-like aliens explained that they were members of the Centauri Police (the actual name was untranslatable), and that a Tamaranian thief had stolen a highly valuable, historically significant necklace and was likely hiding within Earth’s jurisdiction.
Hours afterwards, they verified the Centauri’s credentials and, because Michael is not a particularly diligent or competent member of the League, asked for assistance from the higher ups. One of the five phones that were laying around Tanya, who was playing videogames, pinged, and she picked it up. “Rhine here, what’s the situation?” The voice changer program concealed the fact that she was in her true form, of course.
“Yeah, there’s these alien cops saying that a criminal’s hiding out on Earth. What do I do?” Booster Gold asked.
“You check their credentials?” Tanya asked.
“Yeah.”
“What kind of description do we have?” Tanya asked.
“They said it was a female Kryptonoid, whatever that means, and that she was Tamaranian.” Booster Gold replied. “She stole a necklace, a Centauri Moon Emerald. It’s pretty big, like two inches wide. Also some other stuff, but I don’t think they care about anything but the necklace, Boss.”
“Not much to go on.” Tanya groused, “Do not allow them to search the planet. We don’t have diplomatic contact with Gamma Centauri, and if they would like to change that they should send a diplomat, not police.” The reason for this was twofold: it was important to assert one’s sovereignty if one was a weak polity, and she had absolutely no idea what the quality of Centauri cops are. “I do have a few resources I can tap, and I can attempt a scry if that doesn’t work. Give me an hour.”
Working off the assumption that a Tamaranian who came to Earth might have done so due to a pre-existing relationship with their refugee, Tanya immediately contacted Starfire. “Hello Friend Tanya.” Starfire said morosely.
Tanya’s HR instincts immediately warned her against going straight to business. “What’s wrong?” Tanya asked instead, “You seem sad.”
“I am despondent.” Starfire replied, slipping into her native tongue for the last word. She did that a lot, so Tanya usually focused on her translation ability when talking to her. “My sister, Blackfire, has shown up, and she’s better than me in every way and everyone loves her more than me.”
“Jealousy doesn’t become you, Starfire.” Tanya chided, “I take it this is an old conflict?”
“No, not at all!” Starfire said, more energetically. “Before me and my sister were sold to the Psions, there was…” She paused, unsure how to proceed. “Tell me, do Earthlings occasionally have strange colorations? I know that your species comes in many colors, but are there colors that are unnatural that they are sometimes born with?”
“Well, Beast Boy’s skin color isn’t exactly natural, but given that description I would guess you are referring to Albinism. It’s when someone is born without a certain chemical in their skin and hair, which makes them a ghostly pale white. Their eyes are an unnatural red, on top of that.” Tanya huffed ruefully. “While we understand that it’s merely an unfortunate genetic condition now, historically albinos were associated with many things, mostly bad.”
“Yes, that sounds like my sister.” Starfire agreed, “She was born with black hair, which is unheard of among my people. This made her weak, unable to absorb sunlight as well as other people, and made her ravenously hungry.” So their hair acts as a primary organ for sunlight absorption? Interesting… “She was still my sister, so she was not mistreated, but…”
“She wasn’t treated very well.” Tanya finished for her.
‘
“It is so.” Starfire said sadly. “I didn’t understand why people were unkind to my sister for the longest time, but I know now that there was no good reason.”
Tanya did not expect to be administering therapy today, but fortunately she’s had a lot of experience dealing with teenage angst over the last few years. “So you’re frustrated that your sister finds living on Earth so easy when you find it difficult.” Tanya summarized, “But you should be feeling happy that she’s found a place to belong, and you’re sad that you’re being selfish.”
“Yes.” Starfire said softly. “She even gave me a wonderful gift when she arrived, and all I can think about is how my friends are ignoring me in favor of her.”
…Is she going to be able to resolve this without needing to put her shoes on? “Centauri Moon Emerald necklace?” Tanya asked straight out.
“Yes?” Starfire asked, confused. “How did you know?”
“Because there’s some very angry Centauri police chasing a Tamaranean thief who stole just such a necklace.” Tanya deadpanned.
“Stole?” Starfire said, voice rising to a painfully high pitch as she tried to quiet her exclamation.
“The League’s stopped them, and they’re polite enough to respect our jurisdiction for now,” Interstellar diplomacy tended to run on capability. If you were capable of intercepting a ship before it could land, that usually bought you enough respect for a conversation among the civilized polities. If you couldn’t, then you were usually deemed primitives or otherwise not worth respecting and, in all likelihood, they’d have just attacked Starfire for possessing the stolen necklace while fitting the description of their perpetrator. “-but bare minimum, we’ll want to ask Blackfire some questions on how she acquired that necklace. It could just be a misunderstanding.”
“I can not believe that my sister would do such a horrible thing.” Starfire said, her distress causing her to use clunkier language.
“There’s good odds that they’ll leave if they get the necklace.” Tanya said, calmly and evenly. “While I’m not condoning theft, she escaped slavery just as you did, so I’m inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt, for now.” Unfortunately, it sounded like Blackfire had adopted some criminal mentality, but Tanya was working off of very limited data, so despite her instincts telling her that this was a mistake… Bruce would give her a chance.
“I will give it to you.” Starfire said, “How?”
“Rhine. Berechnung. Mahou. Through this line of communication, send my hand like information.” Tanya reached into her phone, and felt a weight drop into it. Pulling it back out, the necklace was now in her hand. “Wow, this is pretty.” Tanya said, slipping it around her neck.
“Isn’t it?” Starfire said, “It truly fit me.”
“I’ll see if we can get you something similar with Earth materials.” Tanya said idly. Damn, was there even an emerald on the planet that was this big? She should look up the record breakers… “For now, just know that there’s nothing Blackfire can do that will usurp your position on the Titans. Employment contracts are not so ephemeral that you can be replaced so easily.”
“But Nightwing…” Starfire said, before trailing off. “...I will ask my sister about the necklace.”
“Worst case, she’s guilty as sin, runs off, and I can send whatever footage we have of her to the Centauri." Tanya said, “Best case, she sticks around and joins the League. How old is she?”
“She is nineteen, almost an adult.” Starfire said, which Tanya translated in her head as ‘fifteen, nearly sixteen’. Alien timekeeping wasn’t annoying at all, why do you ask?
“Which buys her even more lenience from me.” Tanya said firmly. Hopefully this is more of a ‘Jason’ situation instead of a ‘Royal Flush Gang’ one, while Ace turned out great, the others… well, Ten actually joined a Titans initiative branch in Los Angeles and was looking good, but the other three decided that a life of crime was what they wanted, and were all now in Belle Reve. Tragic. “It is my hope that she uses this opportunity to turn her life around for the better, and I think that your support will be key in doing so.” Tanya suspected that this will require Starfire to be more aggressive with her sister than she’d prefer, but they could go over that kind of detail once it was clear what kind of attitude Blackfire had over the whole thing.
“I will do my best!” Starfire said. “I won’t disappoint you.”
“You never do.”
Comments
Kevin Curry
Why would she? Starfire isn't being blamed, Tanya doesn't need to prove an alibi. Tanya's not going to turn it over immediately, she just wants to have possession of it in case the Centauri Police are on the level. If Blackfire, hypothetically, attempted to claim that she legitimately purchased the necklace and the police are corrupt, Tanya'd want to investigate before releasing the necklace to either party. But if, when confronted, Blackfire instead admitted to her crime, that vastly simplifies things and Tanya can merely hand the necklace over to get them to go away.
irregularGremlin
Love this kind of stuff in fics when stuff can be sorted out through propper channels, also shouldn't Rhine have asked Michael to verify with the Centauri police when the alleged (nothing has been proven in a court of law as of yet) crime took place as to whether it took place before or after Starfire's arrival on earth?
Dragonin
I do love Starfire, and am a fan of Blackfire as well. Hopefully she takes the opportunity in the spirit it’s intended
