Kevin Curry
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Devil's Consultancy 58
🕑 Added 2026-01-05 15:00:15 +0000 UTCWhile assuredly the consequences of the world being, at least in part, saved by literal Santa Claus would be both far-reaching and personal, Rhine had other things to do. Like going to bed. “While Christmas gets saved, goodbye must be waved.” They said to Batman, warping back to the small portion of their soul that they left with the Court of Owls. A shade, a tiny fraction that aped their demon form, was left behind, which made itself at home in Batman’s cape. If he needs anything, he’ll be able to contact them through that.
Back in her true form, she distantly heard cheering from the gathered high society types, which made sense. She double-checked the magical barrier’s integrity and, finding it satisfactory, took a deep breath and nodded off to sleep, the mental discipline required to use magic making the difference between willing oneself to sleep and casting a minor sleep spell on oneself an academic distinction.
She was awoken by the sound of someone pounding on the magical barrier. “Eh?” Tanya said, yawning. Felt like she got a few hours at least… Checking her phone, she gave her mask-wearing uncle a gimlet stare. “It’s seven in the morning!” She complained, adjusting her owl mask. “Did you sleep at all?”
Jacob Kane maintained the illusion that he wasn’t the Voice of the Court, wearing a normal member’s mask and the same suit he wore when he picked her up yesterday. “There was an alien invasion.” He deadpanned. “No, I didn’t get any sleep.”
“On Christmas Eve?” Tanya asked, pretending to be panicked. “What about Christmas? Quick, someone call Superman, he needs to save Christmas!”
“The Justice League already repelled the invasion.” Jacob said, moving his hand inside his mask to pinch the bridge of his nose.
Tanya sighed in relief. “Good, Superman saved Christmas.” She switched back to glaring at her uncle, although the mask probably ruined the effect. “So, again: Why did you wake me up! I need at least another three hours of beauty sleep.”
“There’s business to attend to.” Jacob said harshly. “The Court is planning out their acquisitions in the wake of the disaster. Making deals, trading favors. As a member, even a new one, you have the right to participate, and it’s been decades since the Waynes have taken a seat at the table, so it’s important that you do so.”
Wait, they were going to let her do actual secret society things? Tanya supposed they probably expected her to make some unwise deals. “Okay… Lead the way. But I have to get home in a few hours so I can make snowmen with Daddy.”
“Bruce is going to be far too busy for that.” Jacob said firmly. “So will you, for that matter.”
Tanya giggled. “Now that’s a good joke.” She said, “I’ll bet you a million dollars I’ll be making a snowman on Wayne Manor’s lawn before noon.”
Jacob actually laughed at that one. “Now you’re getting into the spirit of things! I’ll take that bet and your million dollars. Very unwise to make such a bet with someone who can make sure you can’t leave the building for that long.”
“I’ll remember that if I see one.” Tanya quipped back.
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Watching the Court divvy up destroyed sections of Gotham amongst themselves, noting which properties were pre-owned by one of them and needed insurance payouts and which ones needed insurance paperwork backdated to have the same, which properties could be snapped up on the cheap and get reconstruction funds from elsewhere to defray the cost of setting up something profitable on that land, and which properties were intact but would have significantly depressed value for the near future, it was a very educational lesson on white collar crime.
“The League isn’t going to just do nothing.” Tanya insisted, “They won’t toss money at the problem, but if you think they’re not going to do some PR stunts having Superman and Green Lantern get some of this infrastructure back online, you’re an idiot.” Tanya waved a wand, telekinetically moving some of the little flags onto the scale model of Gotham, which had been marked with levels of damage. “Their number one priority is going to be essential industries: food, power, water, communications. Those two barges can only hold a tenth of Gotham’s population between them,” Gotham’s population was around two million, but that’s only if you didn’t count the extensive suburbs and outlying towns that weren’t technically part of Gotham but the majority of the working population commuted inside the city to work, half of which were in the next state over, in which case that number quadrupled. “-they’re not going to stop personally involving themselves until they’ve gotten those people off of their facilities and back in terrestrial ones.”
If the League commenced according to some of the plans Tanya had drawn up with Bruce and the others, the first step they’d take was getting John to scan the city with his ring, focusing on figuring out which buildings can stand with repairs and which ones need to be demolished and rebuilt… or rather, which ones only need normal repairs and which ones need more supernatural ones. It was important to not put the construction workers out of a job, but making sure the city could become economically productive as soon as possible took priority. As such, there was a complex triage system for aid and they pulled out to let other entities with appropriate mandates, like FEMA, finish the job.
Constance Cobblepot hummed, an unpleasantly phlegmy sound. “You think you know what the League will do, do you?”
Tanya scoffed. “The Justice League are some of the most predictable people on the planet. They all think they’re in a story where good always wins, and they’re usually right. It’s the ones without godlike power you have to watch out for.”
“You’re talking about The Batman.” Said another owl-masked person. Tanya had narrowed him down to one of three people.
“And Green Arrow, and The Question, and Huntress, and so on and so forth.” Tanya said, waving her hand vaguely. “They’re all crazy, but those are the ones who use their brains. The good news, of course, is that they don’t stop Superman and the rest of the ‘help everyone’ group from doing their thing, so we can plan around them.”
“Good to hear you’re taking something seriously for once.” Jacob complimented, “But you’ve been doing a lot of talking and not a lot of planning.”
Tanya checked her phone. Almost out of time… “Okay, look, there are ten groups represented here. These-” Tanya gestured with a wand, and wide swathes of the map lit up with red lights. Other colors lit up the rest of Gotham with dimmer magical auras. “-are the properties that are vulnerable to being taken over that we don’t already own. Batman’s not an idiot, he knows that this invasion’s ripe for widescale white collar crime like insurance fraud, so if you want to embezzle in his backyard when he’s on guard, be my guest. But leave me out of it. I want… these.” A few of the red-outlined properties turned blue. “They’re already near places my group owns-” Despite everyone knowing she represented the Waynes, it was customary to be vague. “-and it’s all just normal real estate, nothing strategic.”
“Too much!” Snapped another owl-mask wearing guy. Tanya had determined that he was Austin Orchard, father of another of her suitors, the fourteen year old Myles. He was very coo-er… he was rather aloof and mysterious, wore gothic fashion like she did sometimes. Raven had actually expressed interest in him when Tanya had discussed her boy problems with her and Starfire. “Learn your place.”
Jacob stepped in. “We’re all members of the Court, need I remind you.” He said firmly. “We are coordinating because it is in our best interests: we are all at the table because we have the power to contest the acquisitions, and no one wants a bidding war when it can be avoided. Our newest member has the resources to contest our acquisitions, and so gets a share so she will not do that.” He turned to Tanya. “That said, you ask too much: let someone else take that property there and that will be an appropriate share for you.”
“But that’s the biggest one!” Tanya whined performatively.
“It is.” Jacob agreed, and stared at her impassively… or maybe it was just his mask concealing his expression.
“Fiiiine.” Tanya said, pouting. “I need to message my trustee, but then I have to go.” She brought out one of her phones and started compiling a list of addresses for the trustee to acquire and what price point to push, all in accordance with the collusion plan.
“You need to stay for the rest of the meeting.” Jacob said.
“Mess with my share and I won’t stop Daddy from buying whatever he wants.” Tanya said idly, “I’m. Going.”
“Talons?” Jacob said idly, and a few burly ghouls revealed themselves by blocking the doorways. As Tanya was an acknowledged member, the Talons wouldn’t attack her by someone simply ordering it… unless Jacob wanted to give up the pretense of being an ordinary member, but she only needed him to hesitate for a little bit.
Tanya confidently walked to the excessively large mirror that was in the meeting room and waved a wand at it. The spell failed. Okay, that was a bit much to do silently in her mortal form, trying again… “Rhine. Berechnung. Mahou. Through this mirror to another, take me away from grandma’s brother.” She muttered, which put enough focus on the spell, causing the mirror to reflect her room back at Wayne Manor instead of the model city, filled with toy golems and her latest scale model, currently the Watchtower. “Bye bye!” She said, walking through the glass as if it was a rippling pool.
Tanya looked back and saw the gobsmacked posture of half of the people there. “Don’t forget our bet, uncle!” She shouted through the mirror the instant before the portal vanished, becoming an ordinary mirror.
The mask went into her dimensional space, and Tanya called Bruce. “Batman here.” He said, indicating that he was in the middle of something.
“You promised to make snowmen with me.” Tanya said, “Don’t forget! I’ve spent the last three hours criminally involved in anti-competitive rich people nonsense, and you better string these practically-communist fuckwits by their short hairs with all the evidence I just gathered for you.” Fortunately, as a minor there really wasn’t a chance that she’d get into any serious trouble, especially if she keeps up the waterworks and pinning blame on all the actual criminals instead of the “undercover” (as laughable as it is to say that) operative.
“Communists?” Batman asked, clearly thrown by that complaint.
“They are exactly the kind of short-sighted greedy assholes that run communist governments.” Tanya said seriously. They were literally planning the local economy! “I’ve met plenty, I should know.” They made up far too much of the farce that was her war crimes trial. “They don’t care about the economy as a whole, the actual source of their power, all they care about is how much they can shove public funds into their underwear,” Their pockets are already full of legal money, after all. “-convinced that the system as a whole will be able to weather their unchecked greed, the only ones suffering consequences being other people.” Granted, it probably would in this case…
“I see.” Batman said blandly. “There’s new evidence for a major case of mine.” He explained to someone on his end. “This source is a bit particular, so I need to go now. You can handle this.” There was a loud patting sound. “Just remember your training.” Tanya could just picture Batman dramatically turning away and walking off to the waiting Batmobile before driving off.
Tanya changed clothes to her winter gear, a fur-trimmed coat with a military chic snow camouflage pattern with matching pants, and went to the kitchen to find Alfred. “What’s for breakfast?” She asked. “They didn’t feed me, so I came home.” Well, they did have snacks at the planning meeting, but it wasn’t stuff she liked, so she had a good time baffling them about where she found cup ramen instead of eating them.
“I thought you might return, Miss, so I took the liberty of preparing some miso soup.” Alfred said, as he was well aware that she could teleport home whenever she wanted, and she only needed to go through the mirror to maintain the illusion that she was a mortal occultist who simply carries expensive toys.
“Awesome!” Tanya cheered, looking over the Japanese breakfast spread when he removed the cover from the tray he placed on the dining table. “Itadakimasu!” She said as she snapped the chopsticks in half and chowed down.
After a few minutes, Bruce stumbled into the dining room, visibly exhausted as he slumped into a chair. Alfred had already set a mug of coffee and another tray of miso soup, rice, and the rest. Bruce wasn’t the biggest fan of miso soup, but he also wasn’t a very picky eater and would eat anything Alfred put in front of him. It was good that he had broken his habit of skipping meals, even if it took multiple lectures to get the idea that he should eat when he can through his stubbornness. She did suspect that he had waited until she shared a story about starving on campaign on purpose, because Bruce was a very manipulative person and he had been constantly trying to wheedle snippets of her war stories out of her back then, but it didn’t particularly matter that he knew that, as one could predict that she’d suffered such a hardship solely on the basis of ‘fought in world war 1’, so confirming it was a minor matter.
One by one, the other people authorized to be here trickled in: Jason, Richard, Raven, Barbie, and Zatanna all came in equally exhausted, having just showed and changed out of their uniforms into casual clothes from their rooms, as there were enough spare bedrooms that the girls all had one designated for their use. Alfred had a more American breakfast for them, eggs, bacon, hash browns, some cornmeal porridge thing that had multiple names…
“Where’s Diana?” Tanya asked between bites of rice.
“Still working.” Bruce grumbled. Makes sense, Diana’s divine endurance means she can sleep every other day and be fine. “She’s in the cave, coordinating the League’s dispersal back to their homes.” Yeah, that sounded like it would take a long time for the Zeta Tube generator to send everyone back… and a lot of electricity. If they didn’t install their own alien technology power plant when the wormhole generator was built, that’d be a massive giveaway that something big was here.
“We have to go back to Jump today.” Richard said, “There’s a city event we have to be at for Christmas.” Raven indicated her inclusion in the ‘we’ statement.
“Will you be able to make it back tomorrow?” Bruce asked, frowning.
“Yeah, I can take the Zeta Tube.” Richard said easily, “Not all day, but I can get the morning and lunch, then I have to switch with Cyborg so he can have dinner with his extended family.”
“Good, good.” Bruce said, before glancing at the three girls. “Ah, all three of you are also welcome at the festivities, if you wish.”
“Dad somehow managed to keep himself on the list of cops that get to see their families Christmas morning.” Barbie said, “Here’s hoping he doesn’t drag himself back into the thick of things at the last minute.”
“If he does, you’re still welcome here.” Bruce said firmly. “Gotham doesn’t need Batman and Batgirl right now, the League’s resources are dedicated to getting Gotham back on its feet.”
“It’s rotted, corrupt feet.” Jason quipped.
“We’ve got good people on it, and they can handle things for a while without us watching over their shoulders.” Bruce continued, although he seemed to be more reminding himself why he stopped working more than anything else.
“Okay, how are we splitting oversight on this?” Barbie asked.
“Both of us need sleep, and they’ve got around-the-clock shifts scheduled, every eight hours.” Bruce said, gesturing with his chopsticks. “I promised Tanya some time, and I have the Wayne Christmas gala still-” He paused. “Actually, should I cancel it? There was an alien invasion…”
“We should hold it in the refugee camps.” Tanya said. There wasn’t nearly enough space on the barges for the entire city except in the literal sense, which is why they were used to evacuate, but they’ve since been moved to various places, including a few camps inside and around Gotham. “Have it be a more public event this year.”
“That would take so much work…” Bruce said, his eyes darting around as his mind tackled the problem.
“They’re already organizing a Christmas party on the refugee barges.” Tanya said with a grin. “One big donation for Gotham’s reconstruction and we can slap the Wayne name on it, get additional materials shipped, I can play some music, Zatanna could do a show after she sleeps, at premium rates of course…” She was going to have to anyway, after all. “Just leave it to me.”
“Sounds like a good idea.” Bruce agreed, glancing over to Zatanna.
“Dad’s in town, we can do it together.” Zatanna said, “He came right over the instant he heard about the invasion.”
Tanya finished off her miso soup by drinking the bowl up. Bruce copied her. “Ah, that’s better. Let’s go make some snowmen!” She darted outside, eager to get started and rub it in Jacob’s smug face.
She did, in fact, get that million dollars. And a sweet music video with dancing snow golems to post online, claiming to have slept through the entire disaster. Any responses indicating disbelief that the sounds of a distant alien invasion should have awoken her was simply responded to with “I live in a mansion with soundproof walls.” and there was, frankly, no response to that.
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The Wayne Christmas Gala, adjusted as it was, went well, for what it was worth: some magical mass transportation became required, as Tanya could arrange to move a few hundred tons of supplies from places that didn’t get invaded just as well as Superman could, if using her full power, and with the Justice League involved, there wasn’t much reason not to.
Usually, it takes several months to get a city back into a functional state after a large scale disaster, but as the disaster was an alien invasion specifically, that meant that the Justice League was finally working to their mandate instead of just performing some pro-bono relief, and that changed how much of a response they could grant before the political talking heads started lambasting them for overreach or favoritism, and the founders could make speeches promising the full restoration of the city with only mild mockery about how strong the response was for a city that one of the founders treated as their own fief, as no amount of insisting that an equal amount of effort would be expended for any other focal point of an alien invasion would completely stop such allegations.
However, with a combination of superpowered labor, magic correcting minor but very expensive problems, and a rather substantial amount of financial wizardry greasing the wheels to get things done while the insurance claims are tied up, the Justice League was able to pull out of Gotham by Valentines day.
Meetings with the Court continued, even as Batman steadily chipped away at their illegal dealings. Unfortunately, the Talons were redeployed, and a few actually competent occultists, drawn from the collegiate courses ArcWayne had been setting up all over the world, began to firm up their weaknesses on the magical front. Tanya got the impression that the Court of Owls was never really tested before as an organization.
Sure, the Church of Crime was an enemy they had to fight, but the esoteric goals of the Church, even as a front for what was apparently an alien demon invasion vanguard, meant that they weren’t ever… attacked.
But Batman did just that. The blessed weaponry plus a few phials of contained hellfire he possessed allowed him to send any Talon they sent against him to their final rest, and Tanya kept up the ruse of being excited to be in a secret society, becoming serious only when matters of making money was involved, and laughing off the idea that the Court’s problems were at all an issue that affected her personally. This was a relatively common line of thought among the stupider members of the court, so she was well camouflaged.
This didn’t mean that Tanya was being sloppy with her espionage, of course. She was careful to only use intelligence that she wasn’t given in any significant confidence, beyond information that was distributed to large portions of the organization. The occultists were a problem, as they could absolutely detect the stench of demon on her, if they went looking. She also went out of her way to collect information without anyone realizing she knew about it, such as planting more bugs in places she had never been, using spells that were deliberately as subtle as she could manage. In a magical environment like Gotham, it was easier than in most places to conceal the nature of spellcasting after the fact.
What she distinctly did not do was try to sabotage, redirect, or mitigate their crimes, with the sole exception of insisting that any proposals of removing Bruce from the board would be out of the question until she turned 18 and would be able to control Wayne Enterprises, as they’d need to kill half a dozen people otherwise to get the assets under the control of someone either in the Court or was controlled by them, and killing that large of a line of succession is simply beyond what they can make look like an accident or act of villainy. The list of deaths attributed to Batman’s costumed opposition that were the act of a Talon was unsettlingly large.
She couldn’t similarly protect Jason, however, beyond a token attempt to argue that he was both useful and controllable, so she took other measures to protect him: Professor Blood’s latest attempt to iterate on the meriscorde was only moderately more effective against the Joker, but the Talon’s own souls were bound to their bodies in a similar manner (Tanya suspected a connection but couldn’t ask without looking suspicious), so a knuckle duster created in a similar manner, along with some magical catalysts attuned to him, allowed him to use exorcism magic to stun the ghouls and then use the weapon to cleanse their souls and send them on their way, all without anything that tied him to Robin.
Still, there was one event that was, coincidentally, also on Valentines day. It was an event that served to curb the criminal element for the foreseeable future, in reference to the Wayne family in particular, and as such it was not something the Court wanted to happen.
For you see, Wonder Woman was about to officially move into Gotham, and the event that heralds this change was upon the city: Bruce and Diana’s wedding.
