Kevin Curry
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Psychoprotective 9
🕑 Added 2024-04-21 21:20:24 +0000 UTCMore stuff I didn't properly cross-post.
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Tanya didn’t know what was worse. The idea that she had just narrowly escaped subsumption by a deranged manifestation of… what even was it? With only “not obvious” changes to their behavior while something else was in the driver’s seat of her body… Or that such a horrible fate was considered a “minor threat” on the scale of things that psychic tampering can accomplish. Then again… there was that one day during Miss Milla’s psychonauts training… Was that merely an equivalent problem for her? Tanya had to cuddle with her in one of the Psychoisolation chambers to soothe her obsessiveness and encourage her to eat and sleep… which was, essentially, exactly what Miss Milla did to resolve the issue, according to her explanation.
Of course, weighing such matters was just a distraction. The memories of the Salaryman were mostly gone. The foundation on which Tanya had built herself was ash and dust. Ironically, the main question before her was one that assailed many budding teenagers: Who was Tanya Dosva?
The question of identity was normally fairly simple. You were who you were, and who that was was your list of preferences, informed by your experiences. But objectively, that person no longer existed in any meaningful fashion. His name, gone. His face… theoretically preserved, but it was a reproduction from an untrustworthy source. His touch was everywhere in Tanya’s mind, but it was a legacy, not a continuation.
So that meant that the more noticeable foundation for Tanya Dosva… was Tanya von Degurechaff. A horrible thing to contemplate, really. The Great War was a blight on history, death and violence on a scale never seen before. Even if the blame and culpability of being thrown into war was fundamentally on Being X, by putting Tanya in a situation where they would have no choice but to participate… Her plan of becoming an officer was sound. Tanya had even met conscripts on the Eastern front that were younger than her. She would no doubt be within their ranks if she had waited… but was there another way? What would have happened if she had surrendered to those first Legadonian soldiers? Was there an opportunity to go into a safer posting that she had missed? How much was Being X tipping the scales to get her killed? Or worse, how much was he tipping to scales to ensure she lived?
Hindsight was the great burden of survival, Tanya had found. Even if they technically didn’t survive. This was not the first time Tanya had contemplated her second life, nor will it be the last.
But… one thing that they had decided, when thinking back to that life of violence, was that Tanya would no longer be a coward when it came to physical danger. The power and skills that she held were bought and paid for by metaphorical rivers of blood, and she would apply them where appropriate. Besides, there’s no reason to believe that this is her last life, anyway. Protecting the children from the wildlife was a good example of an appropriate use of her strength.
Protecting them from Ford Cruller? That duty was less clear. He was unexploded ordinance, but was it wise to attempt defusal? Could she succeed where veteran Psychonauts failed? It was thoughts like this that filled Tanya’s head as she ate mechanically.
“Okay children, “ Miss Milla began. “Remember the previous announcements regarding Mr. Cook, Park Ranger, and Janitor. All of you have managed to learn, if not master, the basic psychic techniques of being a Psychonaut.” There was a collection of cheers. “For the remaining week and a half, we’ll be engaging in fun games and activities with your new psychic powers, and if anyone wishes to volunteer, we could all have fun taking a look at one of your minds!” She pointed towards Sam. “Sam, I believe you mentioned you wanted to volunteer?”
“Yep.” Sam said, a dopey grin on her face. “It’ll be cool. I have lions, goats, and a whale! Her name’s Esmerelda.” Apparently Sam had already had the chance to examine her own mind.
“We’ll do that after one more trip into my mind, where I’ll go over the various things you’ll find in mental worlds.” Miss Milla said. “You’ve seen censors with Sasha, but there’s plenty more to learn.”
As the group started to leave, Agent Nein pulled Tanya aside. “We’ve already gone over this lesson. Follow me.”
Tanya followed Agent Nein to the Psychoisolation chamber, which once more stank of cleaning chemicals rather than sweat and the resulting bacterial growths. While they aired it out, Agent Nein gave more instruction on the matter of Psychic construction. “Now, to use psychic construction, the first step is to know the shape of your mind. This you have done. The second step is to learn concept materialization. Did you manage it?” Tanya nodded. “Good. Now, I’m sure you’ve tried to change small things in your mind, trying to shape it even without knowing how.” Tanya shook her head. “Really? Well, that’s not how you do it.”
Agent Nein created a field of telekinetic force shaped like a cube. “Now, the key to using psychic construction to organize your mind is not to make small changes, but large ones.” To demonstrate, tiny sections started to rise out of the cube, but jerked back as if stuck. Then, he changed the cube into a torus and back easily. “There are some rules you need to follow, but within those rules, the key is to identify each discrete area and then stack them in a way that makes sense to you. You can designate a ‘front’ area that will naturally attract any mental guests, and from there it is a matter of connecting the sections of your mind in a way that makes sense to you. If you wish to make smaller changes to the environment, there are methods, but those are more advanced techniques.”
Tanya hummed. “Do you have any suggestions on how I should try to do so?”
Agent Nein smacked his lips as he stopped himself from going for a cigarette. “Without knowing what dynamics already exist, I can only give vague advice. Towers, tunnels, and mazes can be useful metaphors. The most important thing to keep in mind is that elevation matters. Downward directions are associated with the subconscious, as well as the most primal parts of the psyche. It would be best to keep anything… unpleasant to you as deep into your design as possible.” After a moment, he added: “The design of a building is also a fine method. More than one Psychonaut has organized their mind to resemble the Motherlobe, using the existing structure to help sort their experiences.”
Tanya blinked incredulously at the suggestion. “It already looks like that.” She said, lying indirectly. It was what she was planning on using to cover up everything else.
“Then re-arranging some rooms and hallways should be relatively simple.” Agent Nein replied. “Now, you can go anywhere you like in your mind, you just need to focus on whichever part you’re going to when you meditate. When you wish to reshape your mind, you need to put yourself somewhat separate from the rest of your mind. For you, I would recommend picking the entranceway and stepping right outside of it, floating just barely within the borders of your mind.“ He fished out his pocket watch and passed it to her, the chain floating out and wrapping around Tanya’s neck to secure itself. “I’ve set the bell to ring in half an hour. That should be all the time we have.”
“Understood.” Tanya said, brandishing the chunk of psitanium she used as a meditation aid. She telekinetically shut the psychoisolation chamber, before laying down and placing the chunk on her forehead.
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Tanya had a few ideas on how to arrange their mind to be somewhat innocuous. The motherlobe facsimile was good, but it was also… too complete. It wasn’t that large of a facility, when one gets right down to it. The Psychonauts numbered somewhere between one and two thousand psychics, but the majority of those were support staff in local branches, not in the main hub. When your infrastructure relied on psychics, only the most menial job roles were not psychically active. Like that new fellow in the mailroom, Nick. Now that was an employee that knew how to kiss ass. He will go far, in Tanya’s estimate.
No, that will not suffice. In the end, Tanya figured that she had a fair amount of leeway when it came to architectural influences. So it was a matter of thinking of things like level design in a video game. There were two ‘hubs’, in Berun and the Motherlobe, with a connecting zone between them, the bloody battlefield. The Motherlobe’s hub had a spoke design, with each area going off of the central room, much like the real one. Berun, on the other hand, had the rail system, more of a linear spine design. Further, the battlefield could be considered a third hub, even if Tanya didn’t look at exactly what was within those whirlpools of blood. There were… quite a few.
That was… quite the complex design. Tanya may or may not be over sixty, so that did make some level of sense… What could be used to bind them together?
Bound together… who said they had to be bound together? If they were instead separated into many disparate pieces… Tanya could pass a smaller number of pieces as her mind, while concealing the entrances to the other pieces.
Further, instead of trying to make something that could be derived from this life… the other influences could instead be concealed by making their surroundings obviously fantastical.
Yes, that did make sense. Tanya immediately focused on the bloody battlefield, stepping into her mind as easily as she did the last time. The stench of war filled her senses as memories of the carnage formed around her. As instructed, she flew away from the battlefield until she crossed the invisible wall at the edges. There still appeared to be ground beneath her, but she knew that it was an optical illusion.
With a thought, each of the bloody whirlpools flowed upward, turning into churning spheres of crimson that left the battlefield behind as the ground beneath them fractured, shattering under the influence of Tanya’s new vision. Some of the fragments were absorbed by the bloody spheres, but most vanished like the filler it was. Even the glowing pit, the Devil’s domain, was tucked into its own little glowing marble.
In the distance, a similarly apocalyptic event occurred as the stations of her second life each congealed into their own spheres, concrete and steel twisting as they started to float back to Tanya. In the other direction, the Motherlobe tore itself apart as the contents were sorted according to Tanya’s design.
In moments, all that was left was a void filled with glowing golden cracks as Tanya’s will gripped and contained the entirety of her mind within the dozens of spheres. Even the cobweb-wrapped End of the Line was among their number. “This is easy.” Tanya said, marveling at the technique. Passively, she could still feel the connections between each sphere. Immediately, she knew that despite the drama, all she needed to do to reverse the destruction was to simply let go, and it would reassemble itself. No actual changes had yet to occur.
She did not. She sorted through each sphere, determining which ones held acceptable memories and which held ones that could not be allowed to be exposed. With slight adjustments, cutting away objectionable memories from mostly-okay spheres and moving them to compatible ones elsewhere, she eventually had eight spheres out of forty ready to be assembled into her new fake mind. After some additional thought, one of the bloody spheres, the one that boiled with heat, was added to the collection.
Tanya checked the time. Twenty-two minutes had passed. “I need to hurry.” She murmured to herself. Taking the nine spheres, it was a simple matter to assemble them into an interconnected web that manifested itself as a classic fantasy setting: a castle in the sky. The exterior was nothing, merely an entranceway that served as the first line of Tanya’s mental defense. The other memories were formed into near-identical castles, three of them, grouped in a way similar to how they were before, and then Tanya layered all four on top of each other, intersecting the matter and separating them into distinct realms, using a set of magic mirrors to allow movement between the layers. Mirrors that were placed in fortified locations. ‘Mirror world’ isn’t exactly an original idea, but Tanya didn’t have time to fully conceptualize something novel. It will have to do.
With her last moments before time ran out, Tanya named each castle in accordance with their nature: Tatemae Castle for the thoughts that were safe to think, Honne Castle for the ones that weren’t, Yomi Castle for the blood-soaked scars that cannot be removed, and Kyomu Castle as a final resting place for what she no longer was. With that act, a tremor passed through Tanya’s mind, shaking the very space that she inhabited as she floated above the castle. It was finished, set in stone.
The bell on Agent Nein’s psychic watch dinged merrily, proving that Tanya finished her task right on time. Turning away, Tanya willed herself out without bothering with the smelling salts.
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Tanya walked out of the psychoisolation chamber, accepting a bottle of sports drink from Agent Nein to rehydrate from the sweltering temperatures experienced within. “Mission accomplished.” She reported, making sure to smile.
“Did you manage to change the layout, then?” Agent Nein asked.
“It’s a castle now.” Tanya said, leaving out the existence of the other castles.
“Good choice.” Agent Nein said. “Very defensible.” Tanya got the distinct impression that he was just humoring her with that statement. Sometimes she missed being surrounded by subordinates that feared her the proper amount. Then she promptly buried that monstrous sentiment back down where it belongs. “Now, you should be able to open your mind to telepathy without broadcasting every thought, now that you’ve organized it. You did make sure to designate an opening, an entranceway, correct?”
Tanya nodded. “Yes, any entrance will have to pass the drawbridge to get anywhere.”
“Perhaps a test, then.” Agent Nein said as he ambled towards the rest of the campers. “Think of two numbers: One at the forefront of your mind, and a second one behind your defenses. Then, read my mind: What number am I thinking of?”
Tanya suspected that the exercise he was proposing was significantly more difficult then he implied, but to someone who had to command, fight, and operate a computation orb simultaneously, it was a simple matter. It had been years since Tanya deliberately listened for the thoughts of another, but it wasn’t anything new. “Thirteen.” Tanya said after picking it up.
“Very good. All I could pick up was the number 21.” Agent Nein said. “If that was the one you intended to broadcast, then you’ve picked up the benefits of constructed mental defenses as fast as you have most other things.”
Tanya gave a small smile at her success. She’d need to verify the effectiveness with someone who doesn’t have as good of a poker face, but even Agent Nein would likely have reacted if he picked up on the secondary thought she imagined alongside the number 19, that of burning the forest to the ground.
As they entered the ‘classroom’, the first of the campers were leaving Miss Milla’s mind, the rest following suit over the next minute. Tanya took a moment to readjust to once more hearing and feeling the subtle sensations of children’s thoughts, a dull murmur that was easy enough to ignore, but still represented some noise that Tanya had spent years not having to deal with.
“Ah, Tanya!” Miss Milla’s telepathic voice was instantly recognizable as both being from her and not being actual sound. “Come, sit, join us.”
It was a sensation Tanya wasn’t used to, but it wasn’t that different from a radio formula, so Tanya sent back an acknowledgement. “Copy that.” Ah, perhaps she should have said something more casual. Miss Milla giggled out loud at Tanya’s misstep.
“Okay children, now that we’ve all had the chance to experience the kinds of things you’d find in a mind less controlled than Sasha’s and mine, it’s time to go exploring!” She glanced over to Sam. “Are you still willing to volunteer, Sam?”
“Yup!” She said, a goofy smile on her face. “Esmerelda’s excited to see y’all!” She gestured at the Psychoportal, floating it to her forehead. “Everyone get in!”
Unlike the last time Tanya went into someone else’s mind, Tanya did not lie down, instead reaching out towards the Psychoportal while remaining seated on one of the cushions. As promised, the portal pulled Tanya within easily, now that she wasn’t blocking its influence.
It really was that easy, huh? Still, when one considers the consequences of waiting until she has mastered psychic construction before doing it the correct way… worth it.
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Sam’s mind was pretty much exactly like one would expect: a series of environments populated by her favorite animals (all of them), each of them completely obedient to her every whim.
The animals in question each had names and personalities, and Sam was eager to introduce everyone to each and every one. “This is Robespierre.” Sam said, picking the lemur up and presenting him to the tour group. The lemur waved.
That wasn’t to say that Sam’s introduction of her animal friends was interesting. It was dreadfully boring. One by one, interest waned in the group as they only pretended to be interested in whatever exotic animal Sam had incarnated some aspect of her psyche into.
“Hey, weren’t there supposed to be, like, censors and stuff?” The first one to speak up on this subject was LIzzie, although about half of the group murmured discontented agreement.
Sam chuckled. “Yeah, I’m keeping those guys out.” She explained. “Grandpa showed me how to do it. He said that if you want people out of your head, you can’t let your censor energy trickle out like it wants to, you have to let it build up a bit first. Distract them, you know.” She gave an evil grin. “Time to kick all your butts!” She declared, and a flurry of censor doors opened around the savannah environment.
Along with them, red light bulbs appeared in empty spaces, exploding into little blue monsters that vaguely resemble cats with a bunch of other red light bulbs sticking out of their back. Their appearance indicated that Sam acknowledged that this was a bad idea, but was going through with it anyway.
The next few minutes were filled with the familiar chaos of combat, Tanya picking off the Bad Ideas with PSI blasts and telekinetic redirection of their explosive projectiles. When a pair of Judges appeared, their massive gavels poised to flatten the children, Mary roared in glee as she called on the curse of Being X. Needless to say, the Judges didn’t last long against the melee assault of the Bloody Valkyrie, glowing golden fists manhandling them like they were the small child and she was the towering figure as she sang hymns in Legadonian at the top of her lungs. The rest of the children gleefully killed off the actual censors.
Miss Milla patiently waited for the chaos to settle. “Samantha, that was a mean thing to do.” Sam winced at Miss Milla using her actual name rather than the nickname. “I’m not disappointed that you tried to boot the other campers out of your mind.” She said, which perked Sam up. “You had no chance of success with me and Tanya here. I’m disappointed that you felt the need to surprise us with it, when I’m sure there would have been plenty of volunteers to fight whatever you could muster.”
Sam nodded obediently at the scolding. “Yes ma’am. I’m sorry ma’am. I’ll ask next time, ma’am.”
“Okay, now, break out the smelling salts, children! We’re leaving now.” Miss Milla instructed. Okay, moment of truth. Tanya tried to pull herself back to her body without it, but failed. Shrugging, Tanya pulled out the wooden vial and brought it to her nose, opening it for just long enough to smell.
Tanya got the impression of being yanked a large distance, although instead of the sane ‘everywhere’ tug that flight formulas could manage, using smelling salts felt like getting yanked hundreds of meters by the nose. After that disorienting sensation, Tanya recovered her wits and looked around. She wasn’t lying down!
Everyone seemed to recover fairly swiftly from leaving Sam’s mind, getting used to the experience. All in all, a smashing success. Miss Milla smiled at everyone, as she was wont to do. “Okay children, while that didn’t quite go as I expected, we do have time for a second volunteer.”
“I believe Mary mentioned that she was going to volunteer.” Tanya said out loud before anyone else could.
Neither Mary nor Miss Milla liked that suggestion. Apparently Mary was just spewing hot air. “Ah, perhaps someone else?” Miss Milla said hesitantly. “I wouldn’t want Mary to feel pressured into it.”
After Lizzie volunteered and tried to smash everyone with her own mental defenses, it was decided that there would be no more journeys into the minds of the other campers.
Miss Milla claimed that it was because of how boring everyone complained it was, but Tanya suspected that it was an excuse to avoid Mary from volunteering for real.
Thus, the campers were all released from formalized activities and instructed to enjoy themselves.
Tanya, on the other hand… knew where Agent Nein stashed the spare Psychoportals. There were four on the premises. Agent Cruller was unexploded ordnance. Tanya managed to live through more of the Great War than she had any right to, and part of that was knowing when attacking was the safest option. Ignoring this problem was unacceptable, and she was already prepared for failure, so it was time to do some recon in force.
“Where are you going, Devil?” Mary said after flying to catch up with her.
Tanya grunted in acknowledgement. “To deal with a problem.”
Mary let a trace of fear enter her voice as she responded. “W-what kind of problem? The cougar didn’t hurt anyone.” What cougar? Did it try to set one of the children on fire? Again?
“I’ll deal with that later.” Tanya grumbled. “Actually, your assistance would make this easier. Come along.”
“What? How? Nothing around here’s anywhere close to your power, much less mine.” Mary asked, confused but continued following along.
“Not necessarily true.” Tanya replied. “Ignoring your delusions and arrogance for a moment.” Mary’s temper flared at that, and the sensation of feeling the indignant rage instead of just seeing or hearing it threw Tanya off for an instant. “Agent Cruller was widely considered, in his heyday, to be the world’s most powerful psychic. The only one to bother contesting the title was Maligula, the Deluge of Grulovia, a hydrokinetic so powerful that the entirety of the Psychic Six was deployed against her.” Tanya shook her head sadly. “Half of them never recovered from the battle. One died, another drowned in grief, and the last… was Agent Cruller.” Bob Zanotto’s grief was not handled in anything resembling a healthy way, given his alcoholism, but one could directly trace the cause of it to that one battle.
“...the old guy?” Mary questioned. “What’s the problem with him, anyway?”
“No one really knows for sure.” Tanya said. “His mind was shattered by the battle, and it manifests in his bizarre set of multiple personalities.” Tanya held up the Psychoportal. “But I’m going to find out.”
Mary’s eyes widened. “Woah!” She exclaimed. “You’re going to get in so much trouble!” She whispered in childish awe.
Tanya just stared at Mary. “...Are you sure that you’re really an adult? Because you’re doing a fantastic job of pretending to be six if you are.”
Mary glared at Tanya. “This is your fault, you know.” She spat, accusingly. “If it wasn’t for you escaping hell, God wouldn’t have sent me to find you.”
Tanya stumbled at the directness. “What!?” That first idea was right? It wasn’t the only theory Tanya had come up with to explain her presence, but still…
“It’s true.” Mary said, nodding seriously. “God sent me on a sacred mission of mercy.” She pointed dramatically at Tanya. “While you deserve eternal damnation for your many, many sins, God is merciful, and will allow you to enter the Kingdom of Heaven if you repent in this life and accept His Light into your heart.” Yeah… that sounded like Being X. At least, after you cut the bullshit it sounded like him.
“He told you that Degurechaff had escaped from him.” Tanya asked, cutting straight to the point.
“Yes.” Mary replied.
“How did he know where to send you if she had escaped?” Tanya asked, both to ‘poke holes’ in her story and to figure out Being X’s angle.
Mary smiled at this, like a schoolgirl happy that they knew the answer to the teacher’s question. “I asked him about that! He said that as my murderer, my soul could find yours across any distance!” She looked Tanya up and down. “Apparently it took a while for my soul to track yours down.”
“At least your delusions are consistent.” Tanya commented, just to keep deniability. “So I assume you reported success in your mission to find this Tanya von Degurechaff?”
Mary nodded. ‘In my evening prayers.” She shrugged. “He hasn’t said anything about it, so I bet he’s just busy. In the meantime, you need to accept the truth in your heart: God is good.”
Tanya snorted at the half-assed conversion attempt. “I’d say over my dead body, but you’re quite convinced that’s not enough, “ Tanya had, at one point, argued that the threat of total annihilation would not sway her resolve… but she was finding herself rather short of it, right now. “So instead I’ll ask a different question: What was it like being a baby with an adult’s mind?” In Tanya’s experience, it was long stretches of boredom interspersed with excessive amounts of physical affection, which was drug-like in its addictiveness. Fortunately, it became less overwhelming as the body aged. Apparently one of the few medical contributions Helmut Fullbear made as a Psychonaut was positing ‘touch hunger’ as an actual physiological need. Tanya was pretty sure that was one of the differences between worlds, an influence of psychic energy adding to human needs. They never needed anything like that in their first two lives. It would also explain why this body seems to need so much of it.
Mary scratched her nose. “Ah, it was… a thing. God helped me out there… I think. Whenever I relaxed and just… it’s hard to explain. I stopped thinking and I just… automatically acted like my supposed age.” Well, wasn’t that convenient. She was clearly the isekai protagonist here, with a cheat like that. “I would have gone crazy if I had to go through that normally.” There was nothing normal about this!
“Well, if it requires you to stop thinking, no wonder that it keeps popping up.” Tanya said, seizing on the verbal opening Mary presented to needle her a bit more.
The girl pouted before changing the subject. “Where is the old guy, anyway?” Mary asked.
Tanya looked around. Agent Cruller was nowhere to be seen. “We’ll have to summon him.” Tanya decided before pointing to a random spot off the path. “Step on that patch of grass.”
Mary looked at Tanya strangely. “...okay.” She very deliberately stepped on the designated blades of grass. They were fine examples, very straight and level. Until she stepped on them.
Suddenly, Agent Cruller, or “Mr. Park Ranger’ appeared. Normally, you’d see some kind of sign that he had used psychic powers to bend space, but even with his shattered mind, he still held the skill to simply not be there one moment, and then be there the next with absolutely no sign of his presence. “Stay on the trail!” He shouted at Mary, who shrieked and leapt back onto the trail at the sudden command.
“I tried to warn her, sir.” Tanya lied. She telekinetically maneuvered the Psychoportal behind Agent Cruller’s head as he carefully restored the previous condition of the grass. “In apology for my failure, I’ll put some things in order for you. I know you’re very busy.”
“Will you? That’d be nice, Missy.” Agent Cruller said idly as he used a ruler on the patch of grass. “I swear, no one appreciates the value of everything being just so.”
Before the psychoportal drew her into its swirling depths, Tanya spared Mary one last look. “Just keep any wild animals away while I’m occupied, please.”
Mary startled at the request. “Really? But… why would you think…” As Tanya’s focus on the real world waned, the last thing she heard from Mary was full of conviction: “Vade com deo!”
