Kevin Curry
patreon
Fae Chronicles 2
🕑 Added 2024-04-21 21:40:03 +0000 UTCTanya had eventually "invoked her contractual privileges" and been more-or-less introduced to society at large as Tanya von Degurechaff, Visha's sickly five-years-younger sister with a salt and meat allergy (the explanation of how this led to Tanya's specific faked malnutrition symptoms went over Visha's head), which handily explained why she rarely left the mansion, and when she did it was always in Visha's presence, or to the fae realm, which Tanya had offhandedly mentioned was called ‘Arcadia’.
Life went on, with Tanya continually shoving academics at Visha, which she found, after she realized that she was handling material significantly more advanced than they did at the Empire-sponsored school, found less stressful than she initially did.
“Eh… Tanya?” Visha asked. Tanya was dressed in her favorite silk nightwear, reading from a stack of foreign newspapers that she keeps getting.
“Yes?” Tanya asked, turning the page. She was frowning, so she clearly did not like what the news was saying.
Something had been bothering her ever since Tanya created the legal identity. “Can fey lie?” She asked.
“What makes you think they can’t?” Tanya asked back.
“The stories agree that fae can’t lie to you, only trick you with the truth.” And take unexpected things literally.
“We can’t lie to you when we’re setting up a contract or it’s void.” Tanya said, rolling her eyes. “But if there’s some sort of species-wide compulsion, I’ve never encountered one. I’m honest because the fundamental building block of business is trust, and for that one must be honest.”
“So when you introduce yourself as Tanya von Degurechaff, and that you’re six years old…” Visha said, trailing off.
“I’m not quite lying, even then.” Tanya corrected. She put the Francois paper on top of the Imperial one on her left, and picked up the Albish one from the stack on her right. “The Tanya von Degurechaff identity exists, and refers to me. From all respectable points of view, I am she.”
“But you’re not six years old.” Visha pointed out.
Tanya froze. “Ah… I suppose you’re right.” Wait… “I am lying when I say that.”
Is she really… well, it would make Tanya three years old when she made the contract with her… “How old are you?” Visha asked.
“Fey lives and mortal ones are not comparable.” Tanya said insistently. “Knowing the precise number would not give you any insight. The oldest of fae are thousands of years old, and yet they bicker like schoolchildren all the same. Conversely, even a newborn fey can think and communicate complex concepts in ways that mortal children simply cannot.”
“How are fey born, anyway?” Visha asked, eyes narrowing.
“Various ways. I was born from a pumpkin patch.” Tanya said, relaxing now that the topic had drifted away from her age. “Burst out of it like an egg, covered in vegetable innards.” She gestured to herself. “I was fully grown, even then.”
“...That’s you fully grown?” Visha asked skeptically. “Do all fey look like children? The stories…”
Tanya flushed. “Ah. Fey are capable of shapeshifting, temporarily or permanently changing their form.” She explained, as if that answered the question. Seeing the look on Visha’s face, she elaborated. “It is a very magically expensive thing to change one’s form permanently. All fey with an adult form have paid this price, or had it paid for them.” So she is still a kid… “I am… saving up.” She finished. She coughed awkwardly before changing her focus back to her newspaper.
“...Are you younger than me?” Visha asked.
“No!” Tanya said, then decided to pick up her newspapers and leave the room. “I am an ageless fairy, and while I’m still not going to give you a number, rest assured I am well past being an adult by mortal standards.”
“...So you’re a child by fey standards?” Visha asked, deducing the subtext. She got up and followed Tanya to her room.
“Permanently changing your form to what you see fit is considered becoming an adult.” Tanya admitted through gritted teeth. “Mostly because you can’t have sex until you do. This usually takes two hundred years, or so I was told.” Visha recalled those bathtimes, where she discovered that fey lacked the ability to use the toilet, unless they used magic to turn into a mortal for a little bit. “But the change is physical, fey don’t get any smarter or more mature just because they’re bigger. Just more powerful.”
“Ah, I see.” Visha said, not really understanding what Tanya was getting at. So what if she’s a kid like her? She’s still super-smart. It was kind of neat, actually. How many kid fae get to make deals? Probably not many.
Tanya peered at Visha, as if trying to read her mind. Wait, could she? “...Very well. Now, this sounds like a great time for a pop quiz.” What? Oh no! Tanya snapped her fingers and conjured a piece of paper filled with… supply/demand/profit optimization questions.
Well, at least she wasn’t too mad… she could have used factory machine scheduling questions instead. Those were hard.
--------------------------------
It was a happy day. Hans von Degurechaff was brought into the world, healthy as can be. There was a party, with many of Father’s business partners attending his christening. Because he was now a noble, some of the peerage also deigned to show up.
It was fairly modest, as parties went. Just friends and a few people who thought that the von Degurechaffs were wealthy enough to schmooze with. One person that Visha absolutely did not expect to see was Helga von Lergen, the woman who Father might have married if not for his deal with Tanya. She had brought her younger brother Erich with her, who was apparently a freshly promoted Major in the army.
“He looks rather young for a Major…” Tanya said idly of him when Visha pointed them out. She had glamored herself up a fancy dress for the occasion, at Visha’s request. It was made from the petals of a tulip, a soft shade of purple that paired well with her golden hair, which was tied and styled with ivy.
It was a little risky to have her here in her true form instead of her sickly glamor, but she wasn’t here as ‘Tanya von Degurechaff’, but instead as a fairy that was invited to the party. To emphasize her strangeness, Tanya had decided to sit on one of the sconces, right above where Visha was.
“I think he’s noticed you.” Visha observed, “He looks so confused.” Or is that fear?
Tanya giggled, her voice once more echoing like a bell. It was nice to see Tanya having done up her magical makeup again, it made her beauty truly otherworldly. She had somehow acquired a glass of wine, and was sipping it. Could fae even get drunk? “Oh, petty mortals who try to understand the machinations of their betters. I pity them.” She then laughed in a very specific way, holding her hand up to her mouth. “Ohohoho!”
Visha smiled. It was also nice to see Tanya having fun. She only jokes like that when she’s having a good time.
Visha continued to point out each and every one of the nobles and business partners. Tanya typically avoided the parties, so she only knew a few from more private meetings, people close enough to be invited to dinner. Tanya usually had some kind of unflattering remark for each one, and even her compliments made Visha feel sorry for whoever she spoke of.
Eventually, the main event began, where the priest anointed Hans and led a prayer for the health of the baby. Then some gifts were given, as was traditional. As the gifts proceeded, everyone started to glance at Tanya surreptitiously, wondering when she’d do her thing.
Once the last of the presents was presented, Tanya jumped from the sconce into the middle of the room, twirling and flipping through the air like a leaf in the wind. “What a wonderful celebration!” Tanya lied, smiling widely. “For those of you who have particularly poor education on important matters, I am the Lady of Currency, Fae Sovereign of the Six Pillars. I was invited by the hosts to witness this humble party to celebrate new life.” She clapped her hands sarcastically. “It’s always nice to have an excuse to throw a party, and given how often it happens, new mortals coming into being seems like a fine one!”
The party broke out into murmurs, some people berating the more skeptical of their number for disbelieving them on Tanya’s nature.
Tanya continued. “But I would be a poor guest if I didn’t leave little Hans with a gift of my own.” she said, a sparkle of glamor glimmering in her hands. She approached the bassinet that held Visha’s little brother, one of Tanya’s genuinely pleased smiles on her face.
Tanya waved her arm, vines flowing out of her hair and wrapping around all of the decorations. Flowers bloomed from them, all different, a rainbow of petals heralding a scent that Visha immediately wanted as perfume. “I give young Hans the gift of grace. He will find himself talented in dance, riding, sports… All fine tasks for a young noble boy. This gift is given freely, with no contract nor unspoken obligation. I hope young Hans lives a long and fulfilling life.”
With the ceremony complete, the party went back to its default state: everyone chatting with people they don’t get to see often. Tanya floated from group to group, passing out fliers for ‘Arcadian Mysteries’, the business that sold the magic of fairies for ‘reasonable rates’. Any doubters were simply instructed to see how healthy “Countess von Degurechaff nee Serebyrakov’ looked for having given birth so recently.
“The products of fae magic are incomparable to mortal goods, Major von Lergen.” Tanya said proudly, “For one of such distinguished breeding, I would be willing to part with them for parcels of land in the mortal world.”
Major von Lergen glared at the tiny girl in front of him. “Which is forbidden in the Twilight Accords.”
Tanya’s eyes widened in shock. “You know about those?” She asked. After a stormy nod from the Major, Tanya relaxed. “Well, that’s not quite how that provision works. What is forbidden is the wholesale removal of land from the mortal world, bringing it into Arcadia. This limits the value I can get from land deals in the mortal world, but that just means I need to ask for more to get my magic’s worth. That’s basic supply and demand.” She snapped her fingers, creating the illusion of a stately manor surrounded by light forest. “As a member of the nobility, you have the authority to sell your lands to me, and despite the Accords, I can still benefit from this. For example, I can still draw on the land’s bounty, enjoying whatever fruits, nuts, or what have you at my leisure.” To emphasize her point, she created an apple from mid-air, taking a bite of it. After swallowing, she continued. “Furthermore, it allows me to create a traversable pathway from my demesne and the mortal world, which is similar but distinct from the open invitation clause I’ve used in other contracts.” She grins toothily. “That’s ignoring the fact that I could use the land as a mortal would, if the location was suitable for such purposes. Opening a business, for example.”
The other nobles watching this exchange seemed to be more inclined to Tanya’s logical rhetoric rather than the bold accusations of Major von Lergen. He wasn’t swayed, though. “Which you could use as a trap to kidnap mortals whose only crime is making a single mistake of courtesy.” He said accusingly.
Tanya’s nose curled up cutely, as if she just smelled something terrible. “You have a fiendish mind, Major von Lergen.” She said, “I’m not trying to create some kind of pitcher plant of an enterprise like some kind of communist, drawing in naive intellectuals with fanciful rhetoric to conceal the brutality beneath.” She banished her illusion as she took another bite of the apple. “I am a fey of business. I offer magic, you offer a fair exchange, and we are both richer for it.”
“Lies.” The Major retorted. “The only thing the fae want are mortals to enslave and consume.”
“Papist propaganda.” Tanya said, glaring at the man. “There are plenty of other things we want, and I don’t want to eat people, that’s disgusting.” Tanya had been pretty blunt with Visha when she mentioned that the fae as a whole definitely like eating people. Both mortals and each other.
“I’ll be watching.” The Major threatened, before addressing the crowd. “Do not make bargains with the fey. You will regret it.” He stormed off, leaving without Father needing to ask him to. From the look on his face, Father knew that, too.
Tanya wasn’t able to get any contracts after that. Only polite dismissals.
--------------------------------
“What’s it like in Arcadia?” Visha asked one day. She had finished with the readings and test that Tanya had given her, so she had the rest of the day. It was boring, so she had roped Tanya into playing a card game. Currently, they were playing one that Tanya taught her, although she claimed it wasn’t a fey game.
“Eh?” Tanya said as she plucked a card from Visha’s hand. She scowled as she finally took the joker card. “It’s hard to describe.” She demurred.
Visha casually swiped a card from Tanya’s hand, taking the two of clubs with her own two of diamonds and putting it in the center pile. “You’re pretty good with words, give it a try.”
“Well, first of all, Arcadia’s bigger than Europa.” Tanya said to start, grabbing Visha’s queen of spades and putting it down with her own queen. “The fae realms have an abusive relationship with the concept of euclidean space, so despite being entirely confined to the borders of Europa, it’s bigger.”
Huh. She didn’t know that. “There are only fae in Europa?” Visha asked, taking another card. Aw, she got the joker.
“No.” Tanya said, shaking her head as she snatched up Visha’s ace of clubs. “Arcadia, the realm of King Oberon, that’s confined to Europa. If there’s a name for the fae realms as a whole, like Earth is for this planet, no one’s ever told it to me.”
“Have you ever been to the other ones?” Visha asked as she grabbed another card from Tanya’s hand and put it down, sparing it just enough of a glance to take out the matching number.
“No.” Tanya said, taking the joker again. She made a displeased face that forced a giggle out of Visha. “I don’t know anything about the Baba Yaga, I have no desire to swim to Atlantis, and if I tried the Beastlands or Caliphate I’d likely end up imprisoned in some stomach or harem for a few hundred years.”
Baba Yaga? That’s very interesting. Also, ew. “Ah, I didn’t realize the fae realms were so hazardous.” She picked out another card, putting the pair on the table. Only two cards left in her hand…
Tanya shrugged. “The realms are very hostile to foreigners. If you stay where you belong, it’s very safe. Anyone who violates my lands, or myself within them, can expect the wrath of King Oberon, in one form or another. If I leave them, I can’t count on that security.” She plucked one of the two cards from Visha’s hand carelessly, putting the pair down.
It was the moment of truth. Does she take the joker, or the last remaining six? Visha stared into Tanya’s impassive eyes, glittering like gemstones as her cherubic face stilled, as if carved from flawless marble. Visha moved her hand to take the card on the left, studying Tanya’s gorgeous features for any twitch or flaw. She moved her hand back to the right, and saw it. The tiniest wince. She immediately grabbed the card… and groaned at the joker she revealed.
“You’re actually really good at this.” Tanya said consolingly as Visha mixed up her two cards. “I’d hate to play against you at a poker table. But I’ve only ever been consistently beaten by one person when playing old maid, and he closed his eyes when picking.” When Visha presented the cards, Tanya snatched one without thought, slapping down her pair and raising her hands in victory. “Yattai!”
Visha started collecting the cards again. “Tanya…”
“Hai Hai, Tanya desu.” Tanya said, grinning at her own private joke.
“...Can I see Arcadia? I’m bored.” Visha asked.
Tanya paused at the question. “Are you sure?” She asked, “For a mortal, there are quite a few more dangers that I can just ignore.”
“You’ll protect me.” Visha said, smiling.
“...Alright. Let’s go then.” Tanya said. She walked to her bed and took off the silk nightgown she was wearing. “Strip.” Tanya ordered.
Eh?
--------------------------------
As it turned out, you couldn’t bring items from the mortal world into Arcadia. Tanya had actually mentioned this before, but she also tended to just conjure things, so Visha forgot about that detail.
Tanya had pulled her into what appeared to be a room carved from one big piece of wood. Perhaps a giant tree hollow? It was the size of their old house, albeit all in one room. There were four things she noticed when looking around, besides the exit that was covered in a curtain of moss. First, there was an elaborate wooden chest of drawers. Second, there was a giant map of Europa, although it was weird enough that Visha guessed that it was actually of Arcadia. Third, there was a pile of leaves, lush and fluffy looking. She wanted to jump in it. Finally… there was The Blanket.
It deserved the capitalization. It was, at first glance, just an ordinary baby blanket. But on further inspection, it was much larger than an ordinary baby blanket, enough to fully swaddle… perhaps herself, but definitely Tanya. It was visibly the softest, most luxurious cotton that Visha had ever seen, and she immediately wanted to touch it. Just by looking at it, she could tell that this blanket probably could actually repel monsters if one hid beneath it, and grown up concerns would completely cease to be problems in the warmth of its embrace.
Tanya snapped her fingers in front of Visha’s face, snapping her out of the trance. “Visha! Stop that.” She had taken The Blanket and put it in one of the drawers, removing it from sight. “First rule of being in Arcadia: Do not touch my blanket. It is a mild cognitive hazard for me, I can’t imagine how potent it would be for a mortal.”
“Okay…” Visha said, lightly hitting herself on the head to shake off the effects. “What are the other rules?”
“Second: Don’t eat anything.” Tanya said, deathly serious. “You’ll get addicted, mortal food will be like ash in your mouth, etcetera.”
“You like mortal food.” Visha observed.
“For me, it’s just not as good.” Tanya explained. “I don’t exactly have first-hand knowledge on the ash in mouth part, but I have met some mortal addicts of Arcadian vittles. It’s not pretty.” She coughed, glancing to the exit. ‘Third rule: Don’t go where I can’t see you.”
That one made sense. “Ah, can I get some clothes?” VIsha asked, shifting uncomfortably.
“Eh?” Tanya seemed to finally register that they were both naked, and flushed. “Ah, right. Sorry about that.” She snatched a handful of leaves and tossed them in Visha’s direction, and they transformed in a set of sparkles to some kind of leafy leotard, enveloping her torso completely, everything necessary to cover was covered… but her arms and legs were still completely exposed. “I don’t usually bother with clothes at home, as… nevermind.”
Tanya did the same for herself, so they were equally dressed. Visha relaxed, as she realized that this was just how fairies dressed, and not Tanya deciding to dress her skimpily because she wanted to. “So, there’s not much to see here.” Tanya said, gesturing around. “The map’s probably the most interesting thing here. It lets me know when someone’s beckoning for an audience with the fair folk.”
Visha saw a small point of light appear on the map. “Is that one?” She asked. It looked like it was somewhere in the Empire…
Tanya looked at the map. “Yes, yes it is.” She sniffed at the point of light. “Water with rosemary, lavender, and sugar.” She frowned. “No honey?” The only thing Tanya liked more than honey was chocolate, in Visha’s experience.
“You should go anyway.” Visha said, “See what they want.”
“I’m not leaving you alone here.” Tanya said, immediately shutting down the suggestion.
“I could come with…” Visha offered.
Tanya paused, considering it. “...There are proprieties that must be maintained.” Tanya eventually said. “Deals made through beckoning rituals have transcripts. As in, any fey who wishes to dig through the records can read whatever is said during these meetings.”
What? That was a thing? Visha thought for a moment how she usually spoke to Tanya, and imagined herself as one of Princess Anastacia’s attendants. Oh. She kneeled before the smaller fey. “I’ll be on my best behavior.” Visha promised. She should be more specific… “I will obey your every whim, be seen and not heard, and otherwise wor-” Visha swallowed thickly, her face flushing as her imagination got away from her. “-worship the ground you walk on.”
Tanya frowned, but nodded in assent. “Never use the word worship in relation to me.” She ordered, her voice taking on a more commanding bearing. “It is offensive to my ears.” Tanya’s face couldn’t quite manage to stay straight, as if she felt ridiculous saying such things.
She needs to be properly deferential. “Yes Mistress.” Visha said, still kneeling. Nailed it.
Tanya’s lips twitched into a smile before becoming impassive. “...Very well.” Tanya gripped Visha by the hair. “I suggest closing your eyes.” Following her instruction, Visha shut her eyes tightly before a moment of suffocation gripped her, the world dead silent as Tanya pulled her back into the mortal world.
--------------------------------
The faerie ring looked fairly similar to the one Visha had visited, all those years ago. The teacup the offering was in didn’t look cheap, but it also didn’t appear to be particularly expensive. Nice, but nothing special.
Visha found herself standing behind Tanya, who was seated on a stool that had appeared beneath her as she sat and sipped at the tea. Tanya was wearing her money suit, while Visha was still using the scandalous leaf-leotard. If Tanya wanted to embarrass Visha into not asking to come along again, it was working.
The summoner wasn’t just one person, but a small group of girls that looked about a year or two older than Visha’s thirteen, so about the age where young noble ladies should be being courted by eligible bachelors, not courting the fey.
The reason they called Tanya was obvious. The girl in front, who looked like she was crying for at least twelve of the last eighteen hours, was covered in red welts, including one nasty one directly on her left eyelid. While Visha could imagine the girl being quite pretty, particularly given how mature she was; Visha would have guessed this girl was older if it wasn’t for her friends, her face was absolutely hideous in its current state.
Tanya pretended not to notice. “Your invitation was modest, but you caught me in a good mood.” She began, proving once more that fae could lie. “So I am here. For what reason do you call on the ancient compact to entreat with the Fair Folk?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” One of the girls asked before being hushed by another.
Tanya raised an eyebrow, but remained silent as the woman with the scarred face sniffled and began her story. “There’s a party going on tomorrow.” She said, blowing her nose on a handkerchief. “I was invited to it by the nicest, most handsome boy in school: Otto von Essen. I was so happy, I asked Mama to get me some nicer makeup, so I don’t embarrass myself. We’re not nobles, Papa’s just a banker.” She then gestures to her face, breaking out into a sob. “Mama applied it to me today, for practice, but… I’m allergic! Minutes after I was all dolled up and about to get my picture taken, this happened! I’m hideous!” Visha paled. What a nightmare! Like all little girls, she imagined dancing with handsome princes and beautiful princesses, and the idea of breaking out into… that right when it was going to happen?
Tanya hummed at the tale. “Yes, I can see how you’d regret needing to skip such a valuable networking opportunity.” …Was she serious? Sometimes Tanya liked to joke by pretending that she didn’t understand mortals at all. But it was usually more obvious that it was a joke. “Well, I can certainly remedy your issue, Cinderella. But I’m no godmother, so we will need to determine payment.” She said, downing the last of the offering and standing up. Visha caught the odd stool Tanya had created, but it dissolved in her hands.
“Anything.” The poor girl said desperately. Visha winced. Tanya had pointed out that words like that were the second worst thing you could say to a fae you wanted to bargain with.
“Anything?” Tanya said, smiling widely. “I heard that mortals would sell their souls for beauty, I suppose I had to eventually meet one who would.” Tanya held out her hand, an odd distortion of light appearing in her hand. “Offer me all that you have, serve me, and I will grant you beauty. No scar will show, no sickness will impede you, and mortal cosmetics will only serve to tarnish your unearthly appearance.”
The girl’s friends seemed shocked, but the girl seemed only nervous. “...Would that mean I can’t go to the party?” She asked.
“It does not.” Tanya said. “I have never had a customer who was dissatisfied with my products. I always pay my side, and you will be free to pursue… Otto, was it?” The girl nodded. “Otto in the times that I do not require anything of you.”
“Deal!” She said, smiling widely, interrupted only by another sniffle. Her friends broke out into telling her that she was making a mistake and how Tanya was going to screw her over.
“Hey!” Visha said, offended. “Tanya’s a nice Mistress! She’s not trying to trick you.”
“...Thank you, Visha.” Tanya said flatly. “As my loyal servant said, I don’t need to trick you. You serve me, you get beauty. I am a reasonable employer, and will leave you enough personal time to pursue your own interests, even if they are… romantic.” She said the word as if she was discussing the taste of meat. “Now, to seal our pact, give me your name, and by the authority of King Oberon, your beauty will be unquestioned by mortal eyes.”
The ugly, scarred face of the girl smiled even wider. “My name is Elya Roth. And I pledge myself to you.”
The change was instant. One moment, Elya was a hideous leper, and the next, her beauty was comparable to Tanya herself, less cherubic but just as elegant. Her hair was no longer poorly cared for, instead falling over her shoulders easily, practically sparkling in the sunlight. Elya’s friends crowded her, marveling at the effects of Tanya’s deal with her.
“As per the terms of our agreement, I will return the day after tomorrow for your initial onboarding.” Tanya said, “Your first task, which is to be completed by then, is to acquire boxes of chocolates for me. Your family is wealthy, this should be a simple task.” Visha tried really hard to keep her face neutral in the face of that hilarious first task. Something about Tanya’s first request of her new servant being to get her candy was just… so funny.
This was fun.
