Kevin Curry
patreon
Fae Chronicles 4
🕑 Added 2024-04-21 21:41:34 +0000 UTC[Elya]
Elya thought that selling her soul to a fairy was one of her better decisions. It was certainly a better decision than the one that led her here.
“Why are you still so pretty!” Shouted the disguise artist. “I’ve given you warts, a hook nose, pale splotches, but now you just look like a cute witch! It’s impossible!”
“My beauty is a self-evident fact of the universe.” Elya replied, running her hand through her perfect hair. “You can’t remove it.”
The disguise artist twitched as she removed the uglifying makeup. “You’re doing something.” She said accusingly. “Stop it.”
“Fine.” Elya said, rolling her eyes. She unbuttoned her blouse and reached right between her breasts, her fingers sinking in a few centimeters as she took out the “treasure” that Tanya had given her. Instantly, the scars of her allergic reaction re-appeared on her face along with some acne, her hair lost some of its luster, and a splotch of makeup that the disguise artist missed re-appeared on the side of her nose.
The disguise artist blinked in surprise. “What is that? It looks like a shiny rock on a string…”
“It is a shiny rock on a string.” Elya explained, “But it’s a magic rock on a string.” She put it back inside her body, and the beauty glamor re-asserted itself. According to Tanya, she had that particular ‘treasure’ beforehand, and was essentially lending it to Elya for as long as she served her. Once she died, it would be Tanya’s again.
“The scanner jockeys would be raising a stink if that was magic.” The disguise artist pointed out.
Argh, this was annoying. “What’s your name, anyway?” Elya asked.
“Hilda.” Hildra replied quickly. “It’s nice to meet you, Elya. Now, why can’t it be found?”
Elya shrugged. “It’s fairy magic.” She clarified. “Not mortal magic.”
Hilda stared at Elya at the answer. She took a lock of Elya’s hair in her hand, carefully examining the strands. “How does it work?” She asked.
Elya shrugged. “The fey made me pretty, I can take that rock out of my chest if I ever want to not be pretty.” She nodded to herself. “That’s the extent of my knowledge.”
“It’s not terribly complicated.” Tanya said, shocking Hilda who screamed in shock. Tanya was wearing her money suit, real reichsmarks that were ensorcelled into the shape of a business suit. Elya thought it was incredibly gaudy, but Tanya just said ‘brand recognition’ when she tried to get her to replace it with something more fashionable.
The three intelligence operatives that were waiting outside the room burst inside, pointing their pistols at everyone in the room. The one who pointed a gun at Hilda quickly redirected their gun at Tanya. “What’s the situation?” One of them asked Hilda.
“She suddenly appeared.” Hilda said, pointing at Tanya.
“Put those away.” Tanya commanded, “I’m unarmed and weigh eighteen kilograms soaking wet.” Elya could just hear Tanya add ‘or else I might have to hurt you’ after that.
One of the things that took some getting used to about Tanya was how, when she was inclined to take charge, she acts like she’s bigger and scarier than whoever she’s talking to, completely disregarding someone as a threat. Elya knew it was mostly a bluff, she had compared enough notes with Visha to know that Tanya was quite weak by fey standards, her childish appearance was because she was an actual child.
The juxtaposition of her claims of being harmless while looking so very dangerous confused the intelligence agents. Hilda broke the standoff. “Put the guns down.” She said, and while she didn’t have to rank to order them, the agents flicked their safeties and holstered their pistols nonetheless. “Who are you?” Hilda asked.
“I am the Lady of Currency.” Tanya said, eyes gleaming with satisfaction as she subtly showed off her tacky money suit. “As part of Elya’s contract for beauty, I can emerge from her shadow whenever I want to go into the mortal world, even without a Beckoning.” She grinned, “I noticed her talking about me, so I thought I’d pop in.” She extended her hand, which swirled with magic. “Would you like to make a deal?”
The four intelligence agents edged backwards, away from Tanya. “...This is above our pay grade.” the biggest agent said, and the others agreed.
“Surely at least one of you would want something I could provide.” Tanya said genially. “Something to get an edge over your coworkers? Secure that promotion?”
One of the intelligence agents actually seemed to be considering it, but Hilda took the lead. “No. Go away, you magical pest.”
Tanya frowned. “Well, just know that Elya is not my only path to this world, and I will be greatly displeased if she would be rendered unable to continue to advertise for my services.” Her eyes narrowed as her face took on a frightful mein: “Do not cross me.” She took a step back, and started to sink slowly into Elya’s shadow. “Simply meet with Elya at a future date and we’ll discuss terms.” She said as an aside to the agent that seemed interested before her head fully sank into the floor.
After a moment of awkward silence, Elya clapped her hands. “Well, am I still in for Intelligence work? Or is my deal with the Lady going to be a problem?”
Hilda didn’t answer in coherent words as she dragged Elya in front of the head of the Intelligence division’s training core.
In the end, she was accepted into the accelerated program for the intelligence branch of the Imperial Army, but the prices that Tanya demanded for the “complex” enchantments and expensive “customer support” features they demanded prevented any deal from being agreed upon that day.
--------------------------------
[Visha]
At one point, Visha vaguely recalled that she feared books and learning. It seems like a silly perspective now, after meeting Tanya. She had learned to read from a tutor, a severe woman who was quick with a ruler and knew how to use it to inflict pain without leaving marks. It made her handwriting neat and quick, and that habit stayed with her.
Tanya, on the other hand, knew how to make learning… not fun, exactly, but she seemed to have a love of learning herself, and it was easy to get swept up in her enthusiasm, no matter the topic. Even when she pretended to be a stern taskmaster, it felt more like she was playing dress up instead of actually threatening her… although she would unhesitatingly back up those threats if Visha fell short of Tanya’s expectations.
Learning from the medical school was something that Visha feared would be more like Baroness Orlov and less like Tanya, but it was somewhere in between. Lessons weren’t as personal, and the professors generally ignored her, even when she had her hand up to ask a question. But they also didn’t directly punish her, and Tanya helped her study in the evenings. She had an oddly detailed understanding of biology, actually, sometimes dredging some fact that wasn’t even in her books.
The bigger issue was the fact that none of her fellow students treated her as anything but an assistant, once practical tasks were assigned.
The stench of formaldehyde was thick in the medical school’s operating theater. Ten cadavers were laid on ten tables, and everyone had suited up with their masks and gloves on. The Type 32 medical computation orbs that they were all assigned started to tick and glow as they each initiated the sterilization formula, removing any speck of dust or filth from their uniforms.
“Each of these cadavers have been shipped in from the Western front.” Dr. von Grolman said, his military bearing as sharp as ever. The Francois had invaded the Empire as the Central Army moved north, which made Visha extra glad she enrolled in medical school. “Your task is to locate the bullets or shrapnel that killed them and remove the obstructions.” There was a murmur of excitement among the medical students. This would be the first time they got something resembling a test of their skills. “You will be graded in pairs, which I will assign. Your primary goal is to remove all of the obstructions. If there are none when I examine them, full marks. You will then make your best attempts to seal everything back up, and those who do a good job will receive extra credit.” They hadn’t really gone over that in class yet, so that made sense.
She was paired with Johan von Kanitz, who was the top of the class. They got assigned to the only cadaver that was a woman, presumably a combat mage. “Ah, good. Now, don’t bother me and let me work.” He said coldly. Immediately, he activated the scanning formula, searching for the metal fragments. Visha dragged her stool to the correct operating table, and started her own scan.
“Sixteen entry wounds, seven exit wounds.” Visha said confidently. Johan was already peeling back the flesh on the neck so he could extract one of the metal fragments that had lodged in the spine. “Seven metal fragments detected. Searc-”
“I know how many fragments there are, Degurechaff.” Johan snapped at her. Visha flinched at the vitriol he managed to put into her name. “Now if you want to make yourself useful, get the one in the left thigh.”
Frowning, Visha continued her scan, adjusting the formula to detect things other than metal. At the same time, she shut down the bile that threatened to rise up in her throat at the sight of a dead body. “Remember Tanya’s training.” She whispered to herself. Glamor was very good at creating exceptionally grisly scenes. Quickly, she found a piece of wood in the left buttock and a small rock lodged in the lower spine. As she was on the right side of the cadaver, she picked up her stool and moved it to the other side, activating the sterilization formula again to clean her gloves once she was back in position.
To his credit, Johan did not yell at her and merely moved to the other side to attend to a third metal fragment after putting the second one in the small bin. He did, however, give her a dismissive glare.
One thing that kept Visha going through the long nights of studying was how Tanya seemed amazed at the capabilities of magical medicine. The medical glue formula sealed up cuts without a scar, the culture growth formula could regrow things that could not ordinarily grow back, but only in small amounts, not full limbs, but reattachment was well understood and functional, the scanning formula had a fidelity that Tanya insisted was one hundred years more advanced than it ‘should’ be… it was exciting, to be a part of something that impressed even an immortal fae… even if they aren’t as old as they pretend to be.
They finished the fastest of all of the groups, and Visha immediately went on to start using the medical glue formula to start closing up the deepest cuts, working her way back up to the surface. She glanced over to Johan, who had already washed up. “Hey, we’re supposed to seal it back up.” She whispered.
“For extra credit.” Johan retorted. “Who needs that?”
“I do!” Visha hissed. Tanya’s education was helpful, but it was still something of a struggle to pass all of the tests, with all of the memorization necessary. Also, several of the doctors were merciless in taking off points for the smallest things, and being half a foot shorter than the shortest of her classmates, who were all full grown men, had introduced challenges to the procedures that had made her lose quite a few marks on the big test about preparing for surgery.
“Maybe you shouldn’t be here if you can’t pass.” Johan said, which Visha responded to with her best Tanya glare.
Tanya’s not angry, just disgusted at your stupid decisions. That is what Visha tried her best to convey to her lazy classmate. She doesn’t want to be the one to correct this filth, but she will if no one else does.
It seemed to work, as Johan swallowed thickly before re-sterilizing his gloves and starting to apply the medical glue formula to his own incisions. “Start deep and move out.” Visha ordered, “If you’re going to do something, do it right.” Tanya was as wise as she was cute.
“Yes, yes, just stop looking at me like that.” Johan said as he corrected his course.
Visha nodded to herself as she started closing the holes shut, scooping out the perforated bowel’s disgusting effluvia with the suction formula into a waste bag, and putting all of the organs in their proper places, as surgery tended to move them about by necessity. It wasn’t quite as important to get all of the muscles lined up properly, but she didn’t want to leave a single thing for the doctor to penalize her on. It was tedious, but not difficult. Really, it wasn’t all that different from the various things one learns to do as a girl growing up, like macrame. It was just using human bodies instead of thread, and to a much more functional end.
After they were done, Visha looked around and saw that the others were still working, most of which on the sealing stage but at least one pair were still extracting. Was there anything else to do? She started another scan.
“We’re done, Degurechaff.” Johan said, crossing his (cleaned) arms.
The scan came up clean for metal, wood, stone, and the bone scanner only picked up the skeleton, which was all in place. There had to be something else she could do with the time… She looked at the cadaver’s face. Ah! She started to move her stool to the head.
After about two more minutes, the doctor struck the bell. “Time’s up!” He said. Visha checked the time on the clock. That took two hours? It felt so much shorter… “Let’s see how you did…”
One by one, the doctor scanned each body, marking each one on his clipboard, while the students watched. “Terrible job sealing up.” He said to the first cadaver before moving on.
“Missed the one in the groin.” “Missed the rock.” “It took you that long and you still missed the foreign bone in the buttock? Did you even look at this man’s rear end? It’s sticking out.” “...Adequate.” “Only sealed the skin, you’re lucky this patient was already dead.”
With each insult to the work of the students, Visha got increasingly nervous. Why did she have to get the one on the end? And why did he have to start at the other end?
When Dr. von Grolman got to their cadaver, he stared at it. He glanced behind the head, where Visha realized she had left her stool. “Miss von Degurechaff!” Dr. von Grolman said, somewhat exacerbated. “Did you, perhaps, learn how to sew up bodies from a textbook written in the 1600s!?”
Uh oh. She’s in trouble. “N-no sir!” She said, standing at attention.
“Then why did you cut your patient's hair?” He said, pointing at the quite presentable head and face of the cadaver. “We are surgeons, not barbers.”
Visha flushed. “I thought it would be nice if her hair was…” She said, trailing off into a murmur.
“Speak up Degurechaff.” Dr. von Grolman said.
Louder, Visha practically shouted: “I thought it would be nice if her hair was in regulation for her funeral, doctor!” After a moment, she added: “A lady must always look her best!” Murmurs erupted among her classmates, more than one chuckling at her comment.
Dr. von Grolman paused. He inspected the haircut, and the slight adjustments Visha had made to make her expression more peaceful. It wasn’t any different than playing with makeup with Tanya, she sometimes needed to manually adjust her expression as well. “Well, if you had time to moonlight as a mortician, I suppose you must have been very confident in your work.” He eventually said. He flipped his clipboard to the last page and started his scan. He marked his clipboard silently, taking extra time on scanning the female cadaver. “...confidence well earned.” He admitted. “Mr. von Kanitz, Miss von Degurechaff? Full marks. With extra credit for your reconstruction.”
Visha beamed as the rest of the class reacted in shock. “Good work.” Whispered Tanya’s voice. Visha felt the heat of her flush at the voice.
Eh? Tanya was watching?
--------------------------------
[Tanya]
The war was… problematic. Despite their attempts to disseminate advertisements, the number of deals that Tanya was able to give without being summoned was quite low.
It was quite puzzling, actually. Tanya assumed that they’d be getting more referrals than normal beckonings, but it just… hasn’t been working out that way.
Still, they were able to get in some deals that were outside of the legal view of King Oberon’s court. “So, what can we at Arcadian Mysteries do for you today, Monsieur?” Tanya asked as they sat at their desk at the National Library of Francois, a side office that one of their earliest contracts had made available to them as part of terms.
The Francois gentleman, like all of their customers, seemed nervous at being in the presence of a fairy. “Is there an older fairy I could speak with?” He asked, flushing.
“I’m older than you.” Tanya said bluntly. The man didn’t look over thirty, much less forty.
“Is there perhaps a gentleman fairy I could speak with?” He asked.
“Mortal genders are meaningless to the fair folk.” Tanya lied, “From your embarrassment, I’m assuming you’re either impotent or merely sterile. Am I getting close?”
“No!” He immediately said, before wincing. “Actually… yes. The first one.” He murmured.
“Monsieur, this is a common request among men of means who have tried and failed mortal methods of dealing with such problems, as most of those are scams. It’s dropped off ever since the war started, but a single up-front payment of 3500 gold francs, “ One kilogram of gold was slightly less than 3450 of such, so it wasn’t that unusual of a price for something very expensive, and in modern money was in the ballpark of five to ten dollars to the gold franc, depending on the kind of thing you were measuring it against. “-plus an additional monthly payment of 500 gold francs for maintenance, will be enough to secure you both a fulfilling sex life and any necessary heirs.” Tanya gave the nobleman one last amused smirk at their final line of the sales pitch, just provocative enough to get across the ‘immortal fae’ vibe they needed. “Satisfaction… guaranteed.”
The thing was, accepting mortal goods, even gold, was kind of… not allowed. Or rather, it was considered so pathetic that no fae would be caught dead accepting it. Accepting gold-backed currency was even worse, assumed to be mortals successfully scamming the fairy out of their “hard-earned” magic.
But that only applied if other fairies found out about it. The fey courts don’t really understand how flexible the concept of trade was, how currency functioned. There are things in the mortal world that fae do want, and those things can be purchased with money. Further, they can buy those things with money without the mortal in question even knowing they were selling that thing to a faerie, and all Tanya has to do is file the mortal deed, authenticated by a mortal government, with the Fae Courts (specifically, by petitioning King Oberon when he holds court, which happens every New Moon), and then they officially own them metaphysically, no different than if they used a King Oberon-backed deal to purchase it. It did require an expense of glamor to allow the documents to survive the transition into Arcadia, but it was just the cost of doing business.
There are drawbacks, of course, to not using King Oberon’s law to create contracts. Primarily, the lack of ability to enforce the contracts on their end, magically at least. This wouldn’t be so bad if it worked both ways, but it didn’t. Fae were beings of Law, as while they had great power over things that they owned, even if the only reason they owned it was because of words on paper, this had the drawback that they are bound by their agreements, even verbal ones, and in some cases even implied ones.
But no amount of regulation cannot be worked around by a savvy businessfey. Thus, the large upfront cost. As the sole market provider of magical impotence cures, they can set prices as high as the customer would pay. If they cannot pay that price? Everything is negotiable.
The nobleman frowned deeply at the price, but did not immediately reject it. Perfect. This means that he could afford it, although probably not comfortably. “I’m given to understand that there are alternative payment options?” He asked, “I happen to own a rather large plantation on the Southern continent…”
“Europan land only.” Tanya immediately replied. “I don’t deal in chattel slavery either, before you ask. The only life that I will buy from you is yours. If not, gold please.”
He frowned. “One of the Fair Folk doesn’t deal in slaves?”
“Self-determination is important.” Tanya said insistently. “Selling yourself into slavery is one thing, but selling another? I have no guarantee that you actually own the lives you’re seeking to sell, for one thing. Even if you think you do, that doesn’t mean that you do.” Tanya shakes her head ruefully. “No, it’s better for both of us to keep payment limited to mortal forms of payment for this small exchange. Unless you’d like to increase the scope of this agreement, of course.”
“How so?” He asked, more comfortable now that the fact of his impotence was no longer being directly discussed.
“I would assume that you possess some assets that, if liquidated, would be significantly in excess of the value of this agreement. However, I have more magical products than a simple cure to what ails you.” Tanya explained, “If we add additional services to the bill, we could perhaps make it worth you liquidating those assets, or even trade them directly to me, if they are of a nature that I can make use of. Productive land, for instance.”
“I do have a chateau in Alsace-Lorraine…” The gentleman said, considering Tanya’s words.
Tanya frowned. “Is it even still standing?” They asked, “I wouldn’t be willing to give you a favorable assessment of its value given the current state of the war.” Sure, the Empire hasn’t yet pushed the trench lines past their borders, but the odds of that state of affairs continuing… not great. Of course, they have some information channels that the gentleman in front of them doesn’t have…
“Current state?” He asked.
“Odds are good that the Imperials will flatten the place with artillery within the year.” Tanya said ruefully, shrugging. “It’s not very valuable, as a result.”
In the end, Tanya was unable to convince him to part with any of his land, but he paid the money, at least. This money was promptly deposited in a Waldstatten bank, as the Switzerland equivalent was just as infamously neutral and dangerous as they were in their original history. Eventually, they’ll have enough starting capital to make a proper go at creating a business, using mortal commerce to accumulate the money to start buying things of actual value to them.
Until then, they’ll continue sinking motes into this venture.
--------------------------------
Beckonings were always a bit risky. Sure, there were some protections that made it tricky for the beckoner to, for example, immediately stab them with a cold iron blade. But Tanya was good at thinking around rules, and if they, hypothetically, wanted to do that, there was a way to make an ambush work.
The idea that someone would ever break hospitality so blatantly after invoking it was infuriating to Tanya in a way they couldn’t quite describe, but there never really was such a thing as something too low or terrible for someone to be willing to do it.
Still, it wasn’t every day that they got a Beckoning from Legadonia. Their summoner wasn’t alone, a blonde boy was grinning victoriously as an older girl with light brown hair, about Visha’s age, perhaps a touch younger. The boy looked about ten. “I told you it would work!” The boy proclaimed.
“Yes, you observed the proper courtesies, and thus, here I am.” Tanya announced formally. “For what purpose do you call on a member of the faerie courts?”
The girl seemed pale at Tanya’s appearance, literally praying. She seemed to be specifically praying for forgiveness for summoning- “I am no devil!” Tanya insisted heatedly. “I am here because I was invited, the formalities are as per the Accords between Mortal and Fair Folk. Now, apologize, or I may consider you in breach of hospitality.”
The boy turned even paler as Tanya threatened his friend. “Mary! Apologize now! Breaking hospitality is a big deal! Who knows what she’ll do if you don’t!”
Mary winced at her friend’s fear. “I’m sorry.” She said quickly.
Hm… “Acceptable.” Tanya declared, “Apology accepted.” Tanya drank at the offering. They actually had coffee, which was dosed with what tasted like cream and honey, an excellently sweet invitation. “But only because your friend’s offering was of such high quality.” Tanya turned back to their actual summoner. “Now, again: For what reason do you call the ancient compact?”
“Eh…” The boy began, before remembering his lines. “Our dads are both part of the war.” He explained, “We want to help them.”
This did not look very profitable. “I don’t think you two could afford anything significant to protect them.” Tanya said bluntly. “What are you willing to pay?” Don’t say anything, don’t say anything, don’t say anything…
“Anything.” Mary said. Damnit.
“Mary, no!” The boy said. “Never say anything!”
“He’s right.” Tanya said, “I suppose I could claim your everything in return for something to assist your father in battle. At least, something to help him survive them. I couldn’t offer any guarantees, however. ”
“No, we’re not doing that.” The boy insisted.
“That’s not really your call.” Tanya pointed out.
“But I’m the one summoning you.” He retorted.
Tanya sipped the coffee deeply. Negotiations are breaking down… “So?” Tanya said, “Even if your family was quite wealthy, I somehow doubt you have the authority to part with anything significant. Unless you’re offering up your service, how did you think this would go?”
“Fae are supposed to accept future payment.” He said, “In the stories-”
Tanya scowled. “You mean the stories that are about how a mortal tricked the fairy into providing services for free? How they swindled themselves out of proper payment? Or possibly the ones about fey so bored that they turned what should be an ordinary exchange of goods and services into a deranged gamble for a lark?” The boy stepped back at the venom in Tanya’s voice. “Those stories?” Tanya asked.
He looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there. “...Different ones.” He lied weakly.
Tanya sighed. The sad thing was, this boy would probably be a good business contact ten years down the line. “Nevertheless, if you have nothing of value that you’re willing to part with, I’m afraid we have nothing further to discuss. If you really want magical goods without paying in service, I suggest getting ownership of some land. Perhaps get your mother here, I’ll make a deal with her.”
“What do you mean, no guarantees?” Mary asked, serious.
“Well, the days where all a soldier had to worry about was getting stabbed with a sword, getting trampled at worst, are over.” Tanya explained bluntly. “A glamor to keep disease away, their bones where they’re supposed to be, and to keep their insides on the inside… that’s not exactly easy, but it’s quite doable.” Tanya made guns out of their fingers. “Even if there was just a few bullets to worry about, keeping the man alive would be simple.” Tanya shook their head sadly. “But now there’s artillery, aerial mages, machineguns, bomber planes… keeping him alive from some stray shrapnel or keeping him from dying of sepsis after he gets wounded is simple enough, but even my immortality would be sorely tested against a modern war.” The reason why fae were virtually immortal was because their bodies were largely cosmetic. They used up glamor to sustain their existence, and wounds did increase that drain.
Theoretically, they could pull themselves back together after getting exploded. In practice, they could only do that so many times before they starved to death from the effort. It didn’t help that Tanya wasn’t exactly clear on how much magic healing from injury consumed, so for all they knew they couldn’t even do it once. “Look, “ Tanya said, “I can give your father a reasonable vitality blessing, it will let him survive wounds that would otherwise kill him, unless they are so severe he wishes for death. In return, your life belongs to me. Deal?” This was actually a scam deal, and it was obviously so.
“No!” The boy immediately said, covering up Mary’s mouth. “We can reach no bargain!” He said quickly. “Go in peace so that we may reconvene for a more fruitful compact!”
Ah, those were the magic words. “You know how to call me. Call for House Argent if you wish to see me again.” Tanya waved politely as they were banished back home. They stole a glance at the map, noting zero open beckonings, and just slumped onto their leaf bed, grabbing their blanket. Sure, it made them vividly hallucinate being a mortal infant inside a crib, falling asleep to their mother singing a lullaby… but it also made them forget about their problems for the night, or however long they end up sleeping when they have no other obligations to get them out of bed. It was nice to see their mother again, even if they knew it wasn’t healthy to cling to their first life like this.
Still, you can’t win them all. Tanya was getting tired of swindling children into eternal servitude anyway.
