Kevin Curry
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Devil's consultancy 15
🕑 Added 2025-01-01 07:10:22 +0000 UTC“What do we see?” Batman seemed to think of this as on-the-job training, because instead of going straight to business he decided to poll the peanut gallery.
“The boards have been replaced.” Robin immediately observes.
“Is there an Alice in Wonderland themed crazy that I’ve just never heard of?” Batgirl asked, “Because no one would make a purple striped cat anything, much less an animatronic with a camera eye, without doing that on purpose.”
Hm. Good catch. With a touch of focus, Tanya magically enhanced their vision and inspected the cat. It did have a camera eye.
“There isn’t.” Batman confirmed, “Which means that unless the Joker is trying out new material,” He smirked, and Robin chuckled at the absurd premise. “-this is someone new. Be on your guard.”
“We act united, in battle, delighted.” Rhine intoned, infusing everyone with as much demonic magic as they could. “Our strength is shared, power prepared.” They layered additional conduits of power, averaging their physical parameters. Normally this would impede Batman, but as long as Rhine kept focusing on magically enhancing their own strength and speed, it would raise the average high enough that he’d benefit. Batgirl and Robin, on the other hand, should enjoy absolutely massive benefits.
“Woah…” Batgirl said, clenching her fists and hopping lightly on the balls of her feet.
“Good choice.” Batman said, “Now, keep an eye out. Rhine’s first spell is a light telepathic bond, you should get a sixth sense about what the rest of us can see. She’ll act as an overwatch, keeping watch for hidden threats and intervening if necessary.” He walked to the corner of the building and climbed up quickly. “Follow my lead.” As long as he acts as the leader and they accept his leadership, the other two should get intuitive instruction on what to do.
An old toy store doesn’t have much in the way of entrances, of course, but Rhine slipped everyone into the attic, and muffled the sound of everyone’s movements, such basic and more importantly well practiced spells didn’t require them to use a rhyme.
Everyone took up positions and observed the scene before going in, of course. The interior was completely overhauled, the stolen furniture and other sundries having redecorated the place into a tastefully decorated parlor, and there appeared to be a tea party there.
The one who was probably the villain would be the one at the head of the table, dressed as some kind of gentleman. The telepathic spell supplied a character: The Mad Hatter. He smelled of magic, although the flavor was unfamiliar. There were two additional thugs in the other room, playing some kind of reflex-oriented card game.
Across from the man, there was an enchantingly beautiful young girl with perfect skin and dead eyes. She stank of the Clay of Life, and there wasn’t a single scrap of it in sight. “My dear Alice,” The man began, causing the dead-eyed girl to perk up with life. Even this small reaction drew a smile full of crooked teeth from the man. “Yes, dear. You are Alice, my little lady love.”
“I am Alice, your little lady love.” The girl repeated in a bell-like voice.
“Excellent.” Mad Hatter said, excited at the obedience. Rhine decided to assume he was a hypnotist of some kind, and he was attempting to maintain a long term compulsion. He wasn’t actively casting anything that they could sense, though, so he may just be testing his level of control instead. “Now, pour the tea.” He instructed.
Alice picked up the teacup, but stretched her limbs instead of standing up, pouring the tea. Mad Hatter was displeased at this action. “No, no no!” He said, “Alice does not stretch!” He aggressively drank his tea. “When I ask you to pour the tea, you must stand up, approach, and pour the tea without distorting your beauty!”
The girl just looked confused as her arms went back into humanoid shape. “I’m… sorry. What is… What is my motivation?” She asked. Rhine could immediately sense Batman’s mind seizing on that as an important detail, bringing to mind a list of missing persons. The sense they had of his deduction didn’t extend to which missing person, but it was good to know that Batman was on top of it.
“Your motivation is to please me, you stupid girl!” Mad Hatter said, still frustrated.
“Stupid…” Alice said, thinking on the orders. “Right.” She giggled in the most stereotypical bimbo way possible. “Want more tea, sugarlump?” She asked, spontaneously forming a southern accent.
Mad Hatter groaned in frustration. This was clearly not the first time he had created this result. Rhine felt a sense of urgency from Batman, and the three combatants dived in. “I’ve seen enough.” Batman announced, restraining Mad Hatter. “Rhine, bring Basil Karlo back to his senses.” Wait, they know that name. That’s the actor brother of their secretary! He was missing?
…Wait, did he steal their Clay with help from his brother? Oh, they’re going to get to the bottom of this. “Though you muddle in confusion, break the spell, dispel illusion!” Rhine intoned, sending their destructive mana to savage Mad Hatter’s hypnotic construction. “Return to truth, know the horror, you are Karlo, with your brother!” As usual, their mana responded eagerly to commands about hurting people, so despite the less than stellar rhyme, it worked well enough anyway.
“...What the hell?” Basil said, shapeshifting to the face Rhine recognized from the picture by transforming into a slurry of Clay of Life before becoming the new form. His clothes were also fake, noted. After a moment of composing himself, he seemed to come to a decision. “I’m gonna kill Tetch.”
Robin pointed an escrima stick at the man and pressed the trigger, causing the stun gun function to spark menacingly. “No you’re not.” He said, “But you are gonna tell us who this guy is.”
“Jervis Tetch.” Basil explained, “He’s a hypnotist, works with a lot of actors to help them get into roles.”
“Hey Batman, what do you want me to do with Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum over here?” Batgirl asked, dragging one of them into the room. Unlike most instances of calling pairs of goons that particular set of insults, this pair were literally dressed as the aforementioned characters.
“Put them in the zip ties and put them into a recovery position.” Batman instructed.
“Damn you, Batman!” Jervis exclaimed, “I’m not doing anything wrong!”
“Like hell you aren’t!” Basil shouted, “Getting me to rob all those stores! One cash grab and you could have bought all that stuff legally!” Ah right, Basil was known for playing charismatic criminals, so of course he would have a much better idea of what made an effective one than a normal person. “I’m innocent in all this!”
“You also stole several hundred thousand dollars worth of priceless magical clay.” Robin pointed out. “I notice you don’t have that scar that was in the news, either. Your face is pristine.”
“You think I’d willingly keep that scar?” Basil retorted.
“No, but your innocence is suspect.” Batman pointed out, still restraining Jervis. He shook the man for a brief moment. “Do anything magic and we’ll know, Tetch.”
“Uh… dude?” Robin said, disturbed. “You’re kind of… melting.”
Indeed, Basil’s features were melting, turning him into an animate humanoid blob of flowing clay. “Crap.” He said, focusing and turning back into his old self.
“How did that happen?” Batgirl asked, curious.
“Long story.” Basil replied, “But I’m not telling it without a lawyer.”
Rhine was tempted to force him to say more, but Batman spoke up first. “If you’ll submit to police questioning, that’s acceptable. Your testimony will be critical in putting Tetch away.”
“Do not think, from this you’ll slink, crime has a stink.” Rhine said testily.
“Rhine.” Batman said warningly. “Go back to the car.”
Wordlessly grumbling, Rhine let Batman handle the cops. Okay, maybe they did just risk their secret identity with that line, but still…
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With two new files to add to the Batcomputer, Batgirl’s onboarding process went reasonably well. Despite himself, Robin did set a fairly high bar for physical competence, but a relatively low one for criminology competence and emotional maturity.
Batman was just too rational of an actor to deny her, as she was unquestionably more competent than Robin is. Not by a lot, but given how much Robin had improved since he began… His experience edge was just not large enough to overshadow her.
The same logic as before applied: Barbie would try to be Batgirl even without Batman’s approval, so his options were to sabotage her entire life by bringing Jim into things, forcing a confrontation that had a very low chance of a favorable resolution… or to bring her under his wing so she could work better and under the same magical benefits that allows Robin to more-or-less safely fight.
After a four-week probationary period, Barbie was now allowed the next level of trust: knowledge of Rhine’s mortal identity. Well, the older one.
The elevator to the Belfry opened, revealing Barbie going through some stretches. As far as Jim was concerned, she was going to the gym with a friend that was not a boy, and would probably be back late due to having vague plans to do something afterwards. Was it out of character for Barbie to not meticulously plan out her evening? A little, but a few words about trying to be less stuffy and more spontaneous satisfied the parental instincts of the Chief of Police, after the normal assurances that there would be nothing illegal involved and that she wouldn’t let anyone convince her to have sex without a condom. Jim was remarkably permissive, in Tanya’s opinion.
Immediately after walking in, Barbie startled. “Who are you!?” She asked, going into a combat stance.
Tanya chuckled. “Aw, you don’t recognize me? I’m hurt. Is it the face? I bet it’s the face.” She put on a silver mask that she had prepared for the joke. “How’s this?”
Barbie relaxed marginally. “...Rhine?” She half-asked. “It’s just a mask?”
Throwing away the mask, Tanya shook her head. “No, this is actually the mask.” She explained, “I’ve suppressed my power and disguised myself as a mortal, which means I can speak without the geas.”
Barbie seemed to realize that Tanya’s face looked familiar, but couldn’t place it. “Alright.” She said, accepting the explanation. “So I assumed you have a name?”
“Tanya.”
That did it. “You’re the head of ArcWayne.” She said with surprise. “It’s run by a demon?”
“Yep.” Tanya confirmed, “I didn’t suppress my power all the way, just… most of the way. Eighty percent or so.”
“Which is why you were so bitchy at Karlo…” She continued, still fitting the connection within the conspiracy corkboard that was her brain. “Because he stole the magic clay from you.”
Tanya winced. “Yes… I had so many experiments I wanted to do with that stuff, and relations with Themyscira are too fragile to do anything but keep to our half of the agreement, even without the payment.”
Barbie looked surprised. “Wait, you’re doing magic for the Amazons? I haven’t really been paying much attention to Waynetech.”
Tanya chuckled. “As you can imagine, a ritual that allows the Island of Women to get pregnant without a man being involved is something they’re willing to pay for. There’s an awful large population spike in the near future for them.” Shaking her head ruefully, she waved Barbie over. “Come on, I didn’t work out today either.” Alfred’s exercise requirements are very large, but he only insists on figure skating, the thing she’s nominally doing to get fit as a high society lady, to be a third of those requirements.
After a relatively silent workout routine, they transitioned to sparring, which Tanya did not magically make safe, so they used ordinary equipment instead of the Batgirl equipment. “It’s not fair when you’re using magic.” Barbie grumbled after the sixth time she was put onto the floor.
Tanya raised an eyebrow. “I’m not.” At Barbie’s glare, Tanya elaborated. “The only way I can be weaker is to assume a weaker shape. You realize a demon is just a soul that constructed a physical body for themselves while in hell, right? I am magic. You might as well tell me to stop breathing.”
“Is that why you look like a teenager?” Barbie grumbled, “Because you’re vain?”
“I look like a teenager because I was fourteen when I died in this body.” Tanya spat, genuinely annoyed. “It’s matured a bit, but this is the body that God gave me.” She still hated how much Being X’s preferred nomenclature was baked so deeply into American idioms, but she could only accept it.
That caught Barbie off guard. Eventually, she managed to choke down the apology she clearly wanted to say but would not be appreciated and instead said “...You’re a lot younger than I thought you were.”
“I still have multiple times your life experience, Barbie, so don’t you go acting like a babysitter.” Tanya said warningly.
Barbie’s eyes widened at that statement, which confused Tanya. Then she set her expression into the exact same face Bruce makes when he’s interrogating someone. “There’s only one person who calls me Barbie.” She said firmly. “Miss Wayne.”
…Richard’s going to be insufferable that she was the one to spoil things first.
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After the dust settled, Batgirl was officially trusted with the knowledge of the Batcave and their secret identities, and more importantly she learned that Tanya was utterly immune to teasing about her childish antics. This wasn’t entirely true, but it was always going to boil down to one of them having social power over the other from teasing about the babysitting, and Tanya chose to instead go on the attack, making Barbie immensely embarrassed over the whole thing rather than accept her teasing or attempt to tug on her heartstrings by evoking pity.
That didn’t mean there wasn’t a few… hiccups with Batgirl getting integrated into the Batman’s official orbit…
“Did you guys know there is this big conspiracy guy who’s telling everyone that Bruce is Batman?” She asked one day while on a group call.
Tanya was in her young form, doing her daily worksheets to show that she was getting educated. The timesheets were fudged, of course, but maintaining handwriting that was realistically sloppy was the hardest part. “Are you referring to brucewayneisthebatman? The one who insists that the butts match?”
“Well, I mean, they do, don’t they?” Barbie asked.
“No, actually. There’s a backup utility pocket under each cheek that contains… well, that’s not important.” Tanya said, “It slightly changes the profile.”
“...Did Bruce seriously put in butt pockets to make this conspiracy guy wrong?” Barbie asked, amazed.
“No.” Tanya said, “He had his conspiracy sockpuppet point to the butt because he already had the pockets.” After a moment, she added: “Personally, I thought it was absurd, but according to the metrics, it’s already discredited seven separate instances of someone digging into the connection.” One of Bruce’s many good points was his appreciation for gathering data on the impact of his actions. The fact that this meant he always had citations whenever he said ‘I told you so’ was one of his less personable traits.
“...Okay, that sounds fun. What do you think about brucewayneissuperman?” She asked, clearly invested.
“Too plausible. Go with oliverqueenisbatman.” Tanya replied. “Or loislaneiswonderwoman.”
“Plausible? The one thing everyone knows about Batman is that he’s clean shaven.” Barbie said, half-laughing.
“That’s what Queen wants you to think.” Tanya replied, chuckling as she filled in the geometry assignment. “No one’s beard is so immaculate. It’s a fake.”
“Betcha I can get more followers.” Barbie said with a competitive spark.
“You’re on.”
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There were many very capable practitioners in the world. As much as being a demon, a rhymer at that, gave Rhine tremendous advantages in raw power, it was inevitable that someone more powerful and knowledgeable eventually joined the Justice League.
Constantine had them beat on knowledge, but not power. It was a wide enough and narrow enough gap respectively that Rhine had very little confidence on being able to best the much more experienced practitioner in a brawl, but he also wasn’t terribly reliable, so while John was consulted often, he was also not the person people preferred speaking to about magical matters.
The newest full member had no such personality flaws overshadowing his competence: “They should not be allowed such free access. They are a liar and a force of chaos.” Ken Nelson, alias Dr. Fate, insisted. This was a meeting that was more of a meet and greet of the new powerful member more than anything else, but he decided to make a point against allowing a demon in the clubhouse.
“Rhine has my full confidence, Fate.” Batman said calmly. “She has a spotless service record, and has saved my life on multiple occasions.”
“There!” Dr. Fate said, pointing at Batman. “You called them a ‘she’. They are not. Any claim otherwise is a lie.”
Batman glanced at Rhine, who was floating in the air above the conference table. He then shifted his attention back to Fate, silently inviting elaboration.
“Spiritual entities, beings of cosmic forces like demons, do manifest as a specific sex, but only if they see themselves as one. They’ve tricked you with your cultural biases.” Dr. Fate explained. “Maidens are more easily trusted, after all. Look at them, they’re the least mortal-seeming fallen angel that’s ever been.”
Rhine shifted, uncomfortable. They always chalked up their sexless spiritual appearance to the fact that they experienced both genders, and didn’t feel a strong inclination towards either one. It was just… easier to stay as a girl in this world.
There was an awkward silence that descended on the Justice League’s meeting table at the accusation. “I’m sorry, but-” Superman interjected, “-did you call them a fallen angel?”
“They’re not hiding it.” Dr. Fate explained derisively, “The distinct aura of hell-scorched divinity is thick among them. They were once the servant of the heavens, and now they are cast down, with only your blindness masking their crimes.”
Superman seemed to need a moment to fit this new fact into his worldview. “...Rhine?” He asked, “Were you ever an angel?”
“Never ever.” Rhine retorted petulantly. They took a moment to assess the room. There were only about ten members of the Justice League here, and they seemed to be strongly swayed by Fate’s words. Even Batman looked concerned, although he was looking more at the other Leaguers than them. They were not going to get away without saying more than they had previously. “Fight and kill at that bastard’s demand? I’m merely marked by his golden brand.” This was actually literal. The only functional organs they had in devil form were lungs and vocal chords, their heart was instead a mass of burned tissue in an unsettlingly precise recreation of the type 95. Superman had pointed it out a few years ago. Tanya didn’t dare do anything to test to see if it was remotely functional. Rhine’s hand drifted to it, scratching their chest.
Frowning, Superman looked at Batman. Clark wasn’t the most devout Christian, but he firmly believed in a benevolent higher power (Rhine’s understanding was that Superman believed that even a demon would eventually be accepted by God for their good works), and Rhine’s allusions to Being X seemed to have rattled him.
Hawkgirl stood up. “Look, I don’t know anything about this whole demon or angel thing, but what I do know is that the new guy is saying all kinds of bad stuff about someone who does a lot for the League, and we shouldn’t just trust him over Rhine just because of her… their? Species.”
That seemed to sway a lot of the present heroes, echoes of guilt and shame from those who hadn’t spoken up. “Look, Rhine’s never claimed to be some kind of Saint. In fact, I’d say she doesn’t give herself enough credit.” Superman began, “She’s not made it a secret that they remember being human, which isn’t normal for demons. I’ve never seen anything that suggests that Rhine’s anything but someone who has a second chance at life, and chooses to use it to do good in the world. No one here will tell you any differently.” He paused for a moment, inviting someone to dispute his assertion. “So even if you’re a Lord of Order, we’re not going to start treating one of our own like a criminal with no evidence just because you say so.”
Dr. Fate was too composed to seethe, but his careful words had a tension to them that betrayed his rage. “I see. Well, just know that I’ll be watching you, chaos-spawn.”
At least Dr. Fate handled their presence better than Zatara did.
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Tanya didn’t get much time to relax. That wasn’t to say that she wasn’t well-rested, because she did get substantially more sleep than Bruce did, and used magic to bridge the gap between that and the ideal amount of sleep, but while Batman was able and willing to go on his crusade without magical assistance, he was much less willing to allow Robin and Batgirl to do the same.
So while she didn’t mind so much Robin’s interference, given that it was only twice a week, Batgirl was significantly busier. So that meant while she could beg off when she had some kind of midnight ritual to accomplish, she otherwise just… got stuck playing bad cop to the criminals of Gotham.
But not tonight. Because tonight, there was a high society event that did not allow children. That went on until one in the morning. What’s more, he could not miss it, because it was one of the biggest charity events of the year, benefitting several international humanitarian organizations.
As such, she got to spend a night doing what she rarely gets to: sit in front of the television and play videogames. Alfred wasn’t even here to stop her! Barbie was, but she was officially babysitting. The actual reason she was here was more the reverse, as Tanya would absolutely rat out Barbie if she left her unattended for too long. Barbie goes along with this because Bruce specifically asked her to make sure Richard didn’t suit up while he was too busy to be Batman.
The criminals get a night without vigilantes for once. This happens more often than one might think, but it was still a rarity. Well, there were a few more minor vigilantes, technically. Most of them were just criminals that targeted other criminals, though. Like Rag Man, the one who actually means it when they claim that they just want to punish sinners before Hell gets to them.
The game room had multiple televisions, of course. Tanya had the big one, playing an excellent game with fantastic visuals, themed after Japanese mythology. She was humming happily along with the music when Richard shouted “What!?” Barbie gasped.
Tanya studiously ignored her sibling’s distress, stubbornly continuing to play her game. This continued until Richard shook her shoulder. They were watching the news, them being shocked and angry didn’t mean anything. “Hey! Bruce is in trouble!” He said.
“I am going to murder the Joker.” Tanya snapped.
“It’s not him.” Barbie clarified, “Some guy called Cluemaster took over the party and has everyone hostage. Bruce is front and center, he’s calling on Batman to show up and take his challenge.”
…Shit. “To the Batcave!”
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Eldar ortell
New year new bat-child And a new bat disguise
