Kevin Curry
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Swordsman's adventure 22
🕑 Added 2025-01-06 05:02:04 +0000 UTC“What’s a Davy Back Fight?” Kuina asked.
“It’s some kind of pirate game.” Ace replied, “But I don’t know a lot about it.”
Tanya grunted grumpily. “You don’t know? But-” She took a deep breath. “Well, at its most fundamental, a Davy Back Fight is an alternative to all-out combat between two pirate crews. It means less costly injuries and battle damage on the ship of both sides, and matters of dispute can still be settled. Not that there’s much of a dispute here, but it sounds like fun.”
Bellamy snorted. “We play special pirate games with crewmen as the stakes. I’ve won three of them so far.”
“I’ve only ever witnessed them.” Tanya said humbly, “It’s actually quite a fascinating history. The first step is the challenge, of course, but unless you’re in a place that have formalized the rules, like most of the New World, there’s a step we should take.” She turned to Bellamy. “Do you have a rulebook? What version is it?”
Bellamy looked to the side, slightly ashamed. “No, I don’t have one. Used to have one that came with the ship, but it got destroyed.”
“Well, you were probably using the rulebook that Doflamingo favors.” Tanya guessed, “Which, last I heard, was the Ochoku Sixteenth edition.” She shook her head. “I’ve never had a chance to read that one, so let’s do this the old fashioned way.” She raised her pistol up into the air. “Almost forgot this step.”
“Oh yeah.” Bellamy said, taking out a pistol of his own. They both fired into the air, officially declaring the truce of the Davy Back Fight.
“Now…” Tanya stowed her pistol back in her coat and backflipped back onto the rowboat. “Come sail to the other Cape, we’ll get Old Man Crocus to referee.”
After some peaceful sailing, the humandrills were brought down from full readiness and both Tanya and Bellamy were seated on barrels with a crate between them. She had brought out a bottle of good liquor and had poured each of them a shot glass of the stuff. It was traditional to bring out your good rum for this. Behind each of them, the crew was ready. “Okay, so traditionally, the first thing after the acceptance of the challenge is to negotiate the rules. To begin…” Tanya slammed down a single coin. “I propose a Captain’s duel, one on one combat to be held on the neutral battlefield of The Other Cape.” She jerked her thumb to the second of the Twin Capes.
“Wait, but you’re going to kick his ass. Why would he accept that?” Deuce asked, having been caught up.
“Hey!” Bellamy said, angry. “I can kick this guy’s ass.”
“Nevermind.” Deuce said.
Tanya sighed. “The actual reason is that the Captain’s duel is the bare minimum Davy Back Fight. Even if we agree on absolutely nothing else, argue all day, we will still have the Captain’s duel with the stakes being the right to raise our flags. By issuing a Davy Back challenge, or accepting it, to not even be willing to do that is the act of a total coward.”
“Being a pirate is about respect, moron.” Bellamy said, looking at her doctor disgustedly. “If I’m too chickenshit for a fair fight, my crew would leave me at the next port, and they’d be right to do it.” He took a sip of the whiskey.
“Exactly.” Tanya said, “Now, while we’re on the subject, I would like to declare Kuina an exempt passenger.”
Bellamy looked at Kuina confusedly. “...Why?”
“Because unlike the other two humans in my crew, she didn’t explicitly sign up to be a pirate.” Tanya explained, “More importantly, in your crew she would only be an extra sword, so she’s far from the most desirable crewmate I possess.”
“Hey, I am too desirable!” Kuina insisted, blushing. She had dressed very warmly, wearing a backless tank top along with shorts, as was her habit after she realized that long pants looked a little silly when she needed to keep her leg-sword uncovered to be able to use it.
“You do remember my explanation on why you only get one share of spoils, right?” Tanya asked. Swordsmithing was not a vital crew function, so while she could get substantial money from the legal economic ventures, as a pirate she was just… a fighter. So unlike Ace and Deuce, whose ship repair and people repair skills give them an extra half-share each, she gets the same amount of money as the humandrills from piracy loot.
Kuina grumbled. Bellamy nodded along. “Alright, good point. The giant monkeys are fair game though, right?”
“I would highly advise against picking them.” Tanya said, “But I’m not going to stop you. They don’t understand human language very well, I had to teach them sign language, and I haven’t had the chance to fully educate any of my other crew yet either.”
“I’ll just claim you too.” Bellamy said confidently.
“On that note.” Tanya said, “I would also insist on banning peanut tactics. Crew transfers don’t happen until the whole game’s over.” She knew that the rules he was familiar with still allowed it, but the rulebook that the Four Emperors agreed to after Shanks ascended, the version she was most familiar with, included that amendment.
Bellamy didn’t like how she amended a rule that he probably had to deal with, but after thinking about it, nodded in agreement. “Yeah, I always want to stab fuckers who try that shit anyway.” He scowled, “But that’s it. No more niceties.”
“Those were the only two points I had.” Tanya said, “Even if you somehow manage to defeat my crew through trickery or guile, I can just win it back in the end. It’s your turn to propose a game, incidentally.”
“Right.” Bellamy said, looking over her crew. “Iron Target.” He proposed, “You know it?” He took out a coin of his own and set it down. “Two targets, one thrower. Alternating throws, one point.”
“I do.” Tanya said, thinking on which of her crew would be best at throwing knives while sipping at the whiskey. “Good choice, I have no basis to refuse. No issue with the terms.” She put down a third coin. “Groggy Ring. You know it? Three man team, random ball, one goal.” She chose this because it was one of the few games she knew the humandrills would excel at with minimal explanation.
“Yeah.” Bellamy replied, looking straight at the humandrills and wincing. “Not gonna bitch out, though. Three coins good for you?”
“It is the traditional number.” Tanya agreed. “So seven combatants total? We both have enough crew to cover that without repeating.”
“Yep.” Bellamy said, taking another sip of whiskey. “This is good stuff, by the way.”
“Thank you. For Groggy Ring, I’m assigning Kayaku, Kiyou, and Swabbie.” Tanya began, and looked over her crew. “Deuce, how are you at throwing knives?”
“I’m a darts champion.” Deuce said proudly, “I spent more time in bars than I did my classes back in medical school.”
“Perfect. You’re throwing, Ace and Kuina are the targets.”
After a little bit more organizing, They stood in front of Crocus. “Do you both understand the stakes? The Articles of Defeat? Do you stake your souls to Davy Jones if you violate the sacred traditions of the Pirate Island?”
Both of them nodded, and Crocus threw the three coins into the sea.
Let the games begin.
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Ace and Bellamy’s carpenter, a woman named Lily, quickly mocked up the backstops for Iron Target. It wasn’t much, just some wood paneling that was large enough for all four participants.
More random crates and barrels were brought out as furniture, and both crews were seated to watch the proceedings. Tanya looked over Bellamy’s crew. None of them seem particularly impressive, but a particularly pretty one, with pink hair and a beauty mark below her left eye, winked at Tanya when she noticed her attention.
Blushing, Tanya diverted her attention back to the game, where Crocus was there, armed with extra harpoons on his back, and started explaining the rules.
“Iron Target,” Crocus began, “-is a game with a long history. Champions of this game possess keen vision, steady hands, and above all, nerves of steel.”
Tanya did possess some good throwing knives, twelve of them. They were more toys than actual weapons, as she had never used them to do anything but play darts and perform tricks that would be rude to use a pistol for. More recently, she picked up juggling them after Uncle Buggy passed on some tips during that party (and doubled her supply as a gift). It was something to pass the time while bored at sea.
“Each team has throwers and targets. Each thrower will take turns throwing knives, darts, or any other deadly ranged attack at their targets, with the aim to miss them. If you fail to hit the backstop, you lose.” Crocus continued, gesturing to the wooden boards. They were cut to be exactly five centimeters surrounding the target’s silhouette, and Ace did a pretty good job. “Notably, hitting your targets is not forbidden.” Tanya frowned. It was a little against the spirit of things to outright say that…
“Good!” Ace said, grinning. “Hey Deuce, you go ahead and just send all the knives my way!”
“Each thrower is to alternate their attacks between their targets.” Crocus continued.
“What!?” Ace shouted, suddenly worried.
“If either target flinches or otherwise reacts to the attacks sent their way,” Crocus said, chuckling darkly. “-then their team loses. For the targets, the attacks do not exist.”
Kuina laughed. “Easy!” She proclaimed, “The Isshin dojo will not lose in contests of zen!” She gestures to Deuce, “Just keep on target and I’ll ignore a thousand knives!”
Deuce nodded firmly. “My hands are steady, I won’t miss!”
“After every second throw, the difficulty will increase.” Crocus continued, “A shot of liquor will be provided, and the throwers must imbibe. Throwing up or passing out constitutes a forfeit.”
“Oh come on!” Deuce shouted.
Bellamy laughed his ass off. “You still confident?” He asked, before frowning. “Hey, you never told me your name.” He started digging for gold in his nose.
Eh? Tanya replayed the last hour in her head. “Well, I apologize for that. My bounty was commuted within a few days of getting it, so I’m not surprised you didn’t recognize me, but my name is Tanya.” Was she going to introduce herself by title? Absolutely not.
“How’d you swing that?” Bellamy inquired, inspecting his finger for boogers.
“You’re not the only one with connections.” Tanya said vaguely, smiling smugly.
The pink-haired girl startled. “Wait, you’re a girl?” She asked, which boosted Tanya’s mood.
“Muret, you’re a doctor.” Bellamy said, unimpressed. “How could you not tell?”
Muret huffed. “I’m not a fighter like you! I can’t instantly tell someone’s fighting style at twenty paces like you can.” She turned away, crossing her arms under her breasts. “Besides, she was checking me out.” True.
“Is everyone ready?” Crocus asked, having finished answering Deuce’s questions. “Then as per the coin flip, Deuce throws first.”
Deuce took a deep breath and threw a knife at Kuina first, embedding it next to the girl’s neck. As she boasted, Kuina was completely calm.
The thrower on Bellamy’s crew was a pale man wearing a knit hood by the name of Rivers, and the targets were a stern looking man named Hewitt (their chef, as it happens) and a bishounen with glasses named Eddy (their navigator). Rivers decided to throw at Eddy first, and easily hit the backstop next to the navigator’s left hand. Eddy stayed calm with the confidence of someone who had done this before.
“Drink!” Crocus commanded, and both Deuce and Rivers took the saucer of less expensive liquor, some strong sake from Shimotsuki, that Tanya had provided and poured them into their mouths. Crocus then refilled the saucers.
Deuce tossed at Ace this time, and hit the backboard next to Ace’s left knee. Rivers took another throw at Hewitt, and landed it on exactly the same spot as he did on Eddy’s board, presumably to show off. “Nice, nice.” Deuce said, nodding along.
At Crocus’ urging, they both drank another saucer of sake. Deuce decided to hit the same spot on Kuina’s board that Rivers did on both his precious throws, and the Bellamy pirate responded by hitting the spot on Eddy’s board that Deuce had hit on Kuina in the last round, making the two backboards more or less identical.
As the two throwers got steadily drunker, Tanya decided to chat more with the enemy Captain. “I’m actually curious as to what kind of fighting style you’ve clocked me as having, if that’s a talent of yours.”
“You jump a lot.” Bellamy replied, “Probably one of those aerial styles, uses speed and that big sword to make up for how tiny you are.” After a moment, he added: “You don’t use that pistol much in a serious battle.” He grinned, “No one beats Bellamy the Hyena in the air.”
Tanya rolled her eyes. “This is the Grand line, it’s going to take more than a nickname and a small bounty to intimidate people here.” She waved at his ship. “Doflamingo’s brand is more likely to scare people than anything intrinsic to yourself.” Mostly because Doflamingo’s reputation is in being absolutely insane, and you were never sure if he’d punish his subordinates for failure if you kicked them around or if he’d avenge them bloodily. Tanya had the madman’s measure, though: it entirely depended on what entertained him more. “However, you’ve discerned the basics of the Vermillion Wing sword style, well spotted.”
“Scared yet?” Bellamy boasted, but Tanya could sense that her attitude and comment about his bounty had shaken him a bit.
“Oh, I’m not using my sword against you.” Tanya said dismissively. “No, I have a much fairer fight in mind.” She idly pet Saifu with a foot, as the dog was sleeping on the ground.
It was beginning to look like the alcohol would do in the throwers before any of the targets flinched. Ace was on fire, as he focused on keeping his right thigh discorporated. Kuina had a knife embedded in her left bicep, but true to her boast, she was completely ignoring it.
Rivers had better aim than Deuce, apparently, as both of his targets were still untouched, although they did seem a bit nervous at how long the game had been going on.
Deuce threw once more at Kuina, nicking her shoulder… and also cutting away the string holding up her tank top. It fell down, exposing her modest breasts which provoked a round of cheering from the Bellamy pirates. At least one of them fell backwards with a goofy grin on his face, blood sporting from his nose. “H-hey!” Kuina sputtered, covering herself.
“That’s a reaction!” Announced Crocus. “The Bellamy Pirates win!”
“T-that doesn’t count!” Kuina argued, “I was reacting to the crowd, not the knife!”
Crocus ignored her, lifting up Rivers’ hand in victory. Tanya sighed. Of course Kuina could handle literal knives in her body all day, but the instant she starts getting catcalled…
“Yeah!” Rivers shouted, before immediately vomiting and passing out. Deuce was still standing, though, and he took out a vial of medicine he had in his pocket and downed it. Shuddering from what was presumably the taste, he went to go bandage up Kuina’s arm.
Bellamy grinned. “I want that fire guy.” He declared.
“Portgas D. Ace.” Tanya said, “Our Carpenter. He ate the flame-flame fruit, and I’m honestly surprised he managed to stay awake that whole time.” That medicine that Crocus whipped up was pretty effective. “He’s also my cousin, so I’ll be winning him back, of course.”
“You don’t look anything alike.” Bellamy said as the Groggy Ring field started getting set up.
“I should hope not, we’re not blood related at all.” Tanya corrected, “But his father is the sworn brother of my grandfather, so I’d prefer to keep him close at hand.”
“That knife throwing doctor of yours a relative, too?” He asked.
“Oh, no.” Tanya said dismissively. “If you somehow managed to win again and take him, I’d let you. I sincerely doubt it, though.” She whistled, and the gathered humandrills perked up. She started to sign at them. “Swabbie. Kiyou. Kayaku. New game, time for briefing.” The three named humandrills went to the field. “If you’ll excuse me, Bellamy, I need to explain the rules to them.”
“This I have to see.” He said, bounding into the arena and watching her explanation.
Despite how much she liked to think of herself as a scholar, from her obsessive consumption of history in all three lives, writing literal academic papers in war college, and jumping at the chance to attend school, she wasn’t some kind of genius. As such, HSL was a hodgepodge of motions created by free association combined with facial expression, hoots, grunts, and clicks to add a little nuance to things. It has no alphabet, and inventing new words was a nightmare, although it was a lot easier when one of the humandrills invented a word and she just needed to learn it. “One of you wears this on head.” Tanya began, holding up the ball attached to a small leather harness as she signed with her other hand. “You three work together against other team. They win when this goes in tube on ground.” She gestures to the Groggy Ring goal. “They also have special hat. You win when their hat goes into their tube. Do you understand?”
“We… wrestle?” Signed Swabbie, a look of intense concentration on his face.
“Yes. This is a wrestling game.” Tanya signed back, smiling brightly at them. “Slam enemy head into tube.”
“Which tube?” Kiyou asked, glancing between the two goals.
“You lose when your hat goes into that tube.” Tanya signed, gesturing to the tube on their side of the ring. “You win when their hat goes into the other tube.”
“Use gun?” Kayaku asked, his expression hopeful.
“No. There are no weapons in this game.” Tanya replied, stopping her smile but keeping her face neutral, to show that she was not amused by the question. “Give all your weapons to me.” She commanded, and her crew obeyed without hesitation. Even if she knew it was more because they seemed incapable as a species to be particularly paranoid, it was still edifying to be so trusted.
Turning to Crocus, she gave him a thumbs up. “I believe I have successfully conveyed the rules.” She said, to the old man’s grim nod.
Crocus spent a moment to explain the rules to the Bellamy pirates. The opposing captain had sent his First Mate to this brawl, of course. “Big Knife” Sarquiss, with a bounty of seven million beri. From previous chats, she had learned that Sarquiss used to lead his own crew, but had lost a Davy Back Fight to Bellamy and had to join the Bellamy pirates along with two of his subordinates.
In addition to him, a dark-skinned girl named Mani was part of the team, and from her somewhat bulkier shoulders than the other girls and the callouses Tanya could see on her hands, she was a bit of a brawler herself. Finally, there was Ross, a burly man with an overlarge baseball cap brought down low enough to obscure his eyes. It wasn’t the first time Tanya had seen such an odd fashion statement, and it wouldn’t be the last.
A six-sided die was rolled for each team, and Swabbie and Ross ended up being the balls. Once the hats were affixed… “Begin!” Crocus shouted, and the game ensued.
Absolutely none of Bellamy’s crew could even inconvenience the brute strength of the humandrills, and all told it lasted about ten seconds. In fact, with an agreement that Tanya interpreted as ‘for giggles’, all three of the opposing pirates had their heads shoved into the life preserver that was used as the goal.
“I’ll be taking Ace back.” Tanya said after it was concluded. “Shall we be off?” She asked, gesturing to the opposite cape.
“Yeah, yeah.” Bellamy groused, getting up. “Spring Hopper!” He declared, turning his legs into springs and jumping upward towards the Red Line. Once he hit the wall, he launched himself at the lighthouse, bounded to Laboon, who didn’t care about the impact, the lighthouse again, the Red Line, and around about three more times before launching himself back to the cape, using the combined momentum of all those jumps to cross to the other cape.
Tanya picked up Saifu, slinging the dog over her back and securing the straps, measured the distance and decided that a running start was sufficient to cross it in one go.
Now for her cunning plan…
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[Bellamy]
He had figured out somewhere around the part where Tanya called his bounty small that he had run into someone who was, if maybe not on Doflamingo’s level, certainly closer to that invincible demon of a man than him, she didn’t remotely consider him a threat.
It was Eddy who really kept close track of bounties, he considered it part of his duties as navigator. Upon learning that pretty-boy was, in fact, a girl and also named Tanya, he had furiously whispered that ‘Tanya’ was the name of The World’s Strongest Princess, and that while he didn’t know her description offhand as it was four years ago, he did recall that her bounty poster wasn’t a bounty, it was an announcement rescinding the bounty of ‘Mihawk Fanboy’, a seventy-five million beri bounty, as she was the daughter of the World’s Strongest Swordsman, Dracule Mihawk. Bellamy knew that top officers like Trebol, who used to have a bounty of ninety-nine million, got their bounties commuted with Doflamingo’s, but he didn’t realize they could do that after the transition into a Warlord.
So a strong girl who can be mistaken as a boy, named Tanya, with a sword? Definitely the right girl. Bellamy couldn’t even threaten her with Doflamingo’s wrath, because while goading someone from not calling in their stronger patron is easy, you can’t really do that when you’re calling in your own patron to help. Any such attempt would just lead to the two warlords fighting each other… well, that would be the ideal outcome for him, anyway. Bellamy was not foolish enough to assume that Doflamingo considered him a member of his familia, so the odds of him risking his warlord status by fighting another warlord? Low.
Crocus emerged from the sea, having swam the distance easily (huh, he’s pretty strong for an old man…), and two seconds afterwards Tanya landed from her own leap across, although Bellamy didn’t catch how much effort she put into it. At her size, she may have had one of her monkeys just toss her, given how absurdly strong they were. He had seen Ross manhandle similarly-sized animals before, and they treated his crew like they were misbehaving children.
She bothered to grab her bag before showing up, which… come to think of it, why did she have a bag that was made of the same dog breed as her pet? That seemed a little morbid to him. “So, are there any rules to this rumble?” He asked Crocus.
“Not really, but traditionally, there’s a bit of random chance involved in the battlefield. Fifty meters from a marker.” Crocus said, “But in this case, I think you’ll fight better if you don’t have to worry about getting knocked out of bounds, so I’m not going to bother.”
Bellamy frowned, but he wasn’t going to disagree with him: he’d fight better with the whole cape to work with. This cape was pretty rocky, so it suited his Spring-Spring techniques quite well. “I’m going to make you regret underestimating me.” He promised.
Tanya huffed in aborted laughter. She took her backpack, a smallish thing that fit her small back perfectly, and… compressed it into a fuzzy ball?
“Begin!” Crocus declared.
“I choose you, Saifu!” Tanya declared, throwing the fuzzy ball, which immediately popped out stumpy limbs, a head, and a frantically wagging tail. “Good girl!” She said, her voice slipping into a higher register. “It’s battle time, Saifu!” The dog barked. “Go, use Bite!”
Oh hell no. Bellamy leapt backwards, bouncing off a rock with a spring-arm and started to maneuver. Despite this, after his third rebound, the dog managed to intercept him and bite down on his leg.
“WHAT THE FUCK?” Bellamy shouted as the tiny dog’s jaws were apparently more powerful than a literal bear trap.
“Don’t dismiss Saifu’s strength just because of her size.” Tanya said tauntingly. “The Dog-Dog fruit is still a zoan, and thus provides a substantial increase in physical parameters.”
“Why is this allowed?” Bellamy shouted at Crocus. “The dog is crew, isn’t it?”
Crocus shook his head. “If you were talking about a dog that ate the bag-bag fruit, I’d agree with you.” He said, crossing his arms. “But that’s a bag that ate the dog-dog fruit, so it’s firmly in the category of ‘equipment’. No different than that whipper-snapper that came by with a bazooka that ate a different dog fruit.”
“Saifu, use Tackle!” Tanya shouted. The dog released Bellamy’s leg and bolted away, bounding off a rock and coming back with more speed than Bellamy had ever seen from anyone besides himself and Doflamingo.
“Spring Shield!” Bellamy shouted as he adjusted his body to receive the impact. It wasn’t something he could do on a dime like a logia, but it really helped against blunt attacks. The dog tackled him, and was launched away with the same amount of force. It yipped in pain as it impacted a rock.
Tanya frowned, but was otherwise unbothered. “Saifu, get up!” She commanded, “Now, use Boomburst!” She seemed intensely amused at herself for this battle.
What kind of- a literal foghorn came out of the dog’s opened mouth and blasted the noise at full volume right at Bellamy’s face.
He couldn’t hear the next few commands from Tanya due to the ringing in his ears, but the dog ran between his legs, up his back, and leapt off his head with enough force that Bellamy lost his footing, although a large portion of that was the still-dizzying foghorn blast.
Still, Bellamy growled and stood back up, “What is the point of this bullshit?” He shouted at the girl before intercepting the dog with his fist. “Spring Knocker!” He shouted, flexing his springs to give his punch that little extra oomph.
“Besides my own entertainment? Bellamy had no idea how she was getting her voice to cut through his ears ringing like that, but she was. “I’m testing you, Bellamy. Bluntly, none of you have impressed me, and I’m still debating whether or not I even want one of you to join my crew.” She refocused her attention towards her dog. “Saifu, use Crunch!”
Bellamy jumped away and started to build up speed some more, the dog’s head kept tracking him but he knew that eventually he’d get too fast and the dog would be helpless for his attack.
As he predicted, he managed to score a full-power hit to the dog, who promptly turned into what appeared to be an empty bag that splatted on a rock harmlessly… before turning back into a dog and biting his leg again, with literally bone-breaking force.
crack
“I surrender!” Bellamy shouted, tears in his eyes. Continuing would only mean he’d get even more injured, victory was completely out of sight. More importantly, a broken leg was enough injury that few would call him a coward over it.
Crocus immediately started splinting the leg, while Tanya gushed at her little dog with a baby-voice. “Who’s a good girl? Who’s a good girl? You are!” The dog barked happily and ate the little scraps of meat Tanya had produced for it. Women…
The news that Tanya had decided not to take any of them on and to instead destroy their flag was not particularly surprising, but Bellamy dyed their flag himself, so while it was shameful to have been defeated… He was already thinking of a new, completely different design they could use once the log pose sets and they managed to leave.
This is a setback, but he’s Bellamy the Spring-Human. He always bounces back.
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I put a lot of thought into which members of the Bellamy pirates could fit in, and what kind of plots they would enable... but bluntly, they're just too boring. Muret and Bellamy were the only ones that had any potential at all, but I couldn't think of anything particularly interesting to do with Bellamy as a secondary character that canon didn't already do, and Muret's only potential uses beyond compensating for Deuce's bad doctor-ness would be as romantic tension, but Crocus lessons have already started to address that, and I'm already going more into romantic stuff as part of Tanya's bisexual panic and how it mixes with her dysphoria than I initially planned, so adding a character that would exacerbate that is just not wise.
So... no new crew this chapter. Sorry.
Comments
Jarkko Kotaniemi
Fun to see a Davy Back Fight in a more normal situation even though nothing really resulted from it.
