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Prompt 22 [32 is next]
🕑 Added 2025-05-18 14:49:14 +0000 UTC[I switched my day around last minute to go help Ma Rapture with her garden - will upload mine tonight]
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“You ready Dillon?”
“Yeah it’s just… this feels… too easy. Like, desperate - ya know what I mean?”
“Look dude, a job is a job and this place is the mark. We’re here so we’re taking the place”
“Hey I didn’t say I’m backing out. It’s just my first time robbing Care Bears"
Dillion the Nefarious had a bad feeling.
"This is my last job before I retire, Dillon. Don't overthink it. Personally, I can't wait to put this life behind me but you've got a world of crime ahead of ya - so take note. You just might learn something."
The Demon Xzzryzx used his magic to make them invisible. They snuck past the sleeping guards and into the vault [their contact had given them the combination before they left]. It was all going way too smoothly. The Bliss Ruby was staring right at them. Xzzryzx spoke first.
"Dude, you gunna grab it or wha-"
They never saw them coming. Bashful Heart Bear smashed the side of the demon's head with an iron pipe.
I bet you feel pretty bashful right now!
Dillon pulled out his pistol and took aim, but the gentle voice of Secret Bear sounded just millimeters from his ear
Oops - you've been discovered
He barely dodged the blade. Xzzryzx was up and Bashful Heart Bear was picking up pieces of his namesake off of his own open abdomen. Xzzryzx was an old demon, but he still has his bite.
"Run, Fuckstick, RUN!"
The Grumble of Exacerbation shook the floor as Grumpy Bear emerged from the muddy terrain
Grrrr stealing makes me GRUMPY
But the demons were fast and they avoided his sluggish attacks. They saw Cheer Bear in the stands
You can do it Grumpy Grumps - kill those fucking thieving chumps!
But it was too late. The hellspawn were out of the vault. Dillion could feel the portal to the Netherworld opening and he had the gem. They were going to do it. He really believed that.
Step into the light, my wayward children
The sun was so bright... it... it hurt. Dillion could no longer feel the portal. It was the Funshine... the Funshine was killing them
"I guess I'll never get to use that... 401k..." Xzzryzx muttered as his flesh melted off his spindly body to the sound of children laughing.
Dillion didn't aim this time, he used instinct. The Hellfire Bullet found the source of the light and rainbow blood poured out Funshine Bear's gut
The Fun sets... on us all someday...
Xzzryzx was beyond saving.
Here - take some of him with you
Dillion was horrified when Share Bear burst out of his partners chest like a Xenomorph and began gnawing at his face. Luckily, he managed to grab a limb and slam the creature into the ground turning him into a soft puddle of cuddles and broken lullabies. His hooves were covered in daydreams.
"Fuck this place"
And this time, Dillion opened the portal. He did not see the massive hand of Champ Care Bear before he was flattened below it's mighty grip. He did not share in the revelry of the demons defeat. He did not feel the well wishes of Take Care Bear as they sent him to oblivion.
And this, demon children - is why we don't steal from the Care Bears
Prompt 32 is next
Comments
libby (feral.libra)
The version of Care Bears I didn’t know I needed 🥹 ty
Freya
As a child of the 80s, this really made me laugh. Care Bears and Muppet Babies were my jam! Death by Care Bear stare is new 😂
