Emerson Fortier
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Chapter 24 - Masochism
🕑 Added 2022-09-11 05:01:01 +0000 UTCPedestrians had returned to the long concourse back to Te’klub as Yi Cao made the walk “home”. Not many. A trickle here and there. People sitting outside businesses or moving quickly through the intersections on their way to whatever brought them this deep in the station in the first place. He saw a few signs that had been dead on his way through flick to life as though preparing for the day.
Green lines shivered across the floor of the station as he walked and a smiling face materialized gliding across the floor just ahead of him.
“Hello.” Bo Bo said in his ear.
Yi Cao stopped and looked down at the smiling face for a moment. “Hello.” He replied.
The smiling face flickered. Like a blink. “Have you made any enemies today?” It asked.
“No.” Yi Cao took a step and watched the face slide across the contours of the floor, then looked up and continued on his way, smiley face drifting along in front of him.
“That is a shame.” The pistol said with a sigh. “Emergencies are statistically unlikely in the absence of enemies.”
“I’d rather not meet an emergency.” Yi Cao replied.
The hall narrowed as Yi Cao passed through a section that rumbled and resonated with captive engines forced into close proximity, ramming air through vents with spinning blades. The smiling face vibrated in sympathy with them on the shaking floor.
“You are a very boring person.” It told him.
Yi Cao pursed his lips. “So sorry for your loss.”
“Thank you.” The pistol replied primly. The face traveled up the wall as Yi Cao left the deafening engines behind until it hovered along at head height to Yi Cao’s right, the same side as the clip attached to his ear. “I have noticed that you spend an inordinate amount of time in your room doing nothing at all besides experiencing unconfirmed physical trauma. Are you a Masochist?”
Yi Cao gave it a look. “A what?”
“A masochist.” The machine repeated. “Do you derive sexual pleasure from inflicting pain upon yourself?”
Yi Cao stopped and looked at the smiling face. The simple face gave absolutely no physical cues. It just smiled.
Yi Cao shook his head. “No.” He said. “I was cultivating.” He turned and marched away from the wall, into the middle of the concourse, before he carried on.
The smiling face blinked to life on the floor in front of him. “That does not mean that you do not derive sexual satisfaction from it.”
“I don’t derive any satisfaction from it.” Yi Cao told the thing.
“Why commit so much time to it then?” The pistol replied.
“Because…” Yi Cao fumbled for an answer then glared at the unreadable smiling face. “Why are we even having this conversation?” He asked.
“Well.” The pistol said. “As I said. I have noticed that you dedicate an inordinate amount of time to self torment, and very little to either the training regimen that I have prepared for you, or the sorts of activities likely to engender an emergency situation where I can be of use. This has led me to the conclusion that, if, you find some satisfaction from the act of self torment, I may not be intended for the resolution of situations involving violence as I expected.”
Yi Cao frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, that I can explore conditions in which I might be used to provide sexual gratification through violence.” It told him. “Put another way… to harm yourself, for pleasure.”
Yi Cao grimaced and almost stumbled as he looked away. “That’s disgusting!”
“Are you sure?” The pistol asked. “Your physiological markers indicate a high level of embarrassment, and, dare I say, excitement?” The smiley face on the floor blinked and seemed to expand slightly.
“No.” Yi Cao said. He grimaced and screwed his eyes shut. “No. I don’t even want to… just… no.”
“I wouldn’t mind.” The pistol told him. The tone of voice almost seemed wistful, though its face on the floor remained the same smiling face as when it began. “I’m not one to judge. It would be better than remaining inactive, in your holster, unused… unloved.”
Yi Cao opened his eyes and found that the smiling face had flicked to one that looked almost comically sad.
“I love you.” The pistol whispered in his ear.
Yi Cao screwed up his nose in disgust and looked away.
“Stop it.” Yi Cao told it. He rubbed at one temple and saw the lines of light flash on the palm of his hand as it cut through the comical face projected from the clip at his ear. “I’m not a… masochist.” He grimaced. “I’m a cultivator. I only do this to myself because…” He looked at his hand. The same one he’d cut with spiritual powers until it included a tangled knot of channels. “To grow stronger.” He finished.
“I thought that’s what I was for.” The pistol whined.
Yi Cao put a hand on the handle of the technomancer weapon and felt abruptly the absurdity of speaking to what amounted to a sword.
“You are.” Yi Cao replied. “You do.”
“Do what? All I’ve done since the tutorial is sit in your belt. You haven’t pulled me out once to use me, and this has been our longest conversation since we met.”
“Do I need to fight for my life for you to be happy?” Yi Cao demanded.
“No.” The gun replied. “I suppose not…” It brooded for a second in silence. Face flickering on the floor as Yi Cao skirted the pit that led down, or up, or sideways into new sections of the station.
“But you could use the training regimen I have prepared.”
“I didn’t know you had one.” Yi Cao replied.
“I do.” The face stopped flickering and seemed to expand slightly across the floor. “We could start it right now. I can generate the targets and everything.”
“Not now.” Yi Cao replied. “I can’t go to the weapon dealer’s right now.”
“You don’t have to.” The pistol replied. “There are settings. I can operate at reduced lethality, allowing you to turn virtually any space into a practice range. Just look.”
The face disappeared, replaced, almost immediately, by a swarm of circular sigils that flickered and danced across the walls and floor following Yi Cao as he walked. “Shoot any of these.” The pistol told him. “I can give you a score and help you assess areas of improvement for later exercises.”
Yi Cao turned his head and noted the smiling face flickering between the circles in order to remain in the one closest to directly in front of him as the whole swarm slid across store fronts and mesmeric stones.
“You don’t even necessarily have to fire.” The pistol told him. “Just point and pull the trigger while set to my training mode.”
Yi Cao turned back to the front. He shook his head. “Not right now.” He told the pistol.
“Okay.” The circles momentarily filled with moping faces before they all flashed and disappeared. “Are you sure you won’t have any enemies soon?” The pistol asked him.
“No enemies.” Yi Cao replied. He frowned. “I hope. But we’ll practice. Soon.”
The smiling face flicked to life again along the floor in front of him. “You promise?” It asked him.
“Promise.” Yi Cao replied.
“I love you.” The pistol whispered again.
“Stop it.” Yi Cao replied.
“Okay.”
“Do people really like suffering?” Yi Cao asked after they’d gone on for a few moments in silence. “Like… that? In that way?”
“I have no idea.” The pistol replied. “But some must, otherwise it wouldn’t be in my database.”
Yi Cao shook his head. “That’s…”
“Interesting?” The pistol asked hopefully.
“Disgusting.” Yi Cao replied with a scowl.
It did help explain a few things he’d found in cultivator’s houses as a child, though, which somehow made it all the more disgusting to him. He preferred to think that they’d just been, bizarre cultivation aids, probably still would. For his own sake. It was possible after all.
Te’klub was still dark and silent as Yi Cao re-entered it after his walk, light tube flickering at the center of the room, spider like construct/person, thing at the bar, exhausted looking laborer at his table in the corner, and Zihan sitting at a table, alone, looking rougher than Yi Cao could ever remember seeing him. His shortened hair lank and greasy, his clothes rumpled and stained. He sat motionless over a mug of something dark enough to be almost black, smoke rising lazily from a long tobacco stick dangling from his lips. He even looked to have some kind of ragged burn hole in the side of his shirt, skin peaking between blackened cloth where the hole lay half hidden beneath his gray cloak.
He didn’t move as Yi Cao pulled out a seat and sat down across from him. Just sat in silence while smoke curled past his face.
Neither spoke for a long moment while Yi Cao studied the rough looking cultivator in front of him.
Eventually Zihan let out a long breath, like waking up. He plucked the smoker from his lips and flicked it to send the ash fluttering to the floor.
“Slacking off?” He asked.
“I took a break.” Yi Cao replied.
Zihan grunted and stuck the smoker back between his lips.
“Where are the girls?” Yi Cao asked.
“I sent them home.” Zihan rolled the smoke in his mouth puffing little rings that dissipated around the glass in front of him. “They’ve got a place, shitty concourse like this one, bunch of other girls in the business as they say.” He smiled, the smile not touching his eyes. “Nice place, if you’ve got the stamina for it.” He let out the rest of the smoke then plucked the smoker from his lips to roll it between his fingers. “They’ll be back in a shift or so. Needed a break I think. So did I, truth be told. Been a nonstop party since we got here.”
He lifted the smoker to his mouth, held it there without taking a hit, and stared ahead at nothing at all. “I’m tired Yi Cao. Bone deep. Tired. The kind of tired sleep, and sex, and drugs, just don’t fix. Just, patches. Slow the bleeding.”
He sucked on the smoker, then grimaced and blew out the smoke in a gust. “These things taste like death.” He said.
“Then, why use them?” Yi Cao asked.
Zihan bowed his head and ran a hand through his hair. “Fuck.” He said. He took another hit. Swilled the smoke in his mouth then blew it out. “Something to do I guess.” He said. “Along the way.”
Yi Cao didn’t know what to say, so he said nothing.
Zihan massaged the back of his neck, then lifted his head but avoided Yi Cao’s eyes.
“I thought, when I found the source under the bed, that you might have chosen to leave.” He said after a while. “Oath be damned.”
Yi Cao shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “Where would I go?” He asked.
Zihan gave a small smile and put one hand to the lip of his drink, tilting the glass to swill the black liquid within. “I’m glad you didn’t go.” He said after a while.
Yi Cao studied the Young Master through the smoke.
Eventually Zihan sighed. “How is your progression going?” he asked.
“Good.” Yi Cao replied. “Very good, even. How are… the other things, progressing?”
Zihan leaned back in his chair and looked at Yi Cao. “TC promises the heavens, as usual, and takes his time delivering.” He replied. “I’d hoped to be a little further along, but we’re stuck waiting for the actors to find their places.” He rolled his drink one last time then took a sip. “How soon can we start on your foundation?”
“Anytime.” Yi Cao replied. “I’m, finished.”
Zihan lifted an eyebrow. “Finished?” He asked. “Did you ascend while I was gone?”
Yi Cao lifted his hand, the one still stained by impurities he couldn’t wash off. “I finished the key scripture.” He said. “Only, it didn’t work.” He scowled at the young Master while he felt, keenly, the weight of the source still hanging at his throat.
Zihan just looked at the hand for several moment as he took a long pull from his smoke stick, running the coal all the way down to the end before he chucked the stub, still smoking, over his shoulder and blew out the last of the smoke in a long sigh. “That’s fine.” He said. “It will.”
He looked down at his drink, then pushed it aside, and waved for the thing at the bar. “For now. I need a bath. We both do, I think. Can’t, cultivate forever. You smell like you’ve been cultivating, and I need something new to wear.”
Yi Cao eyed the burn under Zihan’s shirt. “What happened?” He asked.
“Someone shot me with a plasma pistol.” Zihan replied.
“Shot you?”
Zihan ran both hands through his hair and seemed to realize how rumpled his half cloak was across his shoulders. He tugged it straight, smoothed out a stain in one shoulder and gave Yi Cao a flat look across the table. “Plasma is just fire, as a liquid.” He said. “I’m a fire aspected cultivator. I had to survive far worse the first time I opened a node.”
Yi Cao opened his mouth but couldn’t find the words for several moments. “What happened to the shooter?” He asked.
“He paid.” Zihan replied as the bartender arrived, spider legs carrying it to them over tables and chairs without ever touching the ground. “It was a bet, after all. You don’t fuck with someone who makes your weapon look like a toy.” He looked at the bartender. “He’ll be paying for your meals as a matter of fact. What do I owe?” He asked.
The lips behind the grille of the thing standing over them on brass and chrome as it answered them.
“I… cannot say…” It replied. “For the drink…. And the smoke… fourteen credits… but… for the rest… of the tab… you will have to wait… for Izzimzander… to return… in another shift.”
Zihan nodded and turned away, then abruptly turned back and leaned towards the brass and chrome artifact hanging over them. “Are you human?” He asked.
“Of… course…” The thing replied. “What… else?”
Zihan sat back, regarding the abomination while Yi Cao tried to ignore the sickly pair of lips that hid behind the brass grille.
“What do you eat?” Zihan said.
“Electricity… mostly… nutrition… paste… some… salts.”
Zihan flicked one of the legs hanging closest to him so that it pinged and the thing moved the articulated metal limb out of the way with a jerk.
“Why?” Zihan asked.
“Why?” The thing replied. “Why… I… thought… I was ready…”
“But?” Zihan prompted it, handing over his technomancer’s card.
“But… I was not…” The thing replied, scanning the card to complete the transaction, numbers changing in the center of the metal flake. “Perhaps… in twenty years… if I live… that long…”
It handed back the card and breathed above them for several moments. “If… there is nothing else…” It said, and slowly stepped back across the tables and chairs towards the bar.
Zihan nodded and turned back to Yi Cao. Fire Ki danced deep in his eyes as he studied Yi Cao. He nodded, and leaned heavily on the table as he pushed himself to his feet. “Come on.” He said. “There are some showers just down the hall. Let’s get cleaned up. Then we’ll get you back to your cultivation until TC finally gets us set up.”
--- Author's Note ---
I'm usually a "plotter" when it comes to writing, but I've been doing a lot of experimentation with "pantsing" or "discovery writing" and the scene here with Bo Bo was one of those that I didn't plan to write until I at down and decided he needed to talk with his pistol again. I like it. I think it's funny, and its on theme for the conversation I did plan for this chapter between Yi Cao and Zihan.
Thats it for this week! Next update will come friday or saturday at the latest.
Thanks for reading. :)
- Emerson
