M.S. Davidson
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Interlude 1 - The Brownie Incident
🕑 Added 2025-08-17 16:10:01 +0000 UTC"You guys really like telling stories," I said, filling the silence as we left the Tower.
"Stories keep people alive," Cass corrected, her tone sharper than I expected. "Knowing Hunters are out there kicking monster ass is the only thing standing between civilization and complete panic."
She wasn't wrong. As we wound through the streets toward Katie's bakery, townsfolk stopped us constantly. A group of kids basically mugged me for the Brine Tyrant story, and I realized I was a terrible narrator—they didn't care. Their laughter echoed as I gestured wildly, mimicking the explosion that ended the monster.
For the first time since arriving in this insane world, I felt genuinely useful.
Katie was practically vibrating with excitement when we arrived, dragging me inside while babbling about my upcoming hunt. I'd started explaining brownies when she shoved me toward a water basin like a drill sergeant.
"Hands. Wash. Now." She was already slamming ingredients onto the counter in controlled chaos. "We're making culinary history today."
Cass and Erik wisely retreated to a safe distance, settling at a front table to watch the show.
"First things first," Katie announced, brandishing a tray of half-formed tarts like a weapon. "What do you think? Too much crust?"
I examined the uneven shapes. "Definitely. Press them thinner—custard needs to be the star."
She nodded, muttering something about "damn perfectionist bakers," and thrust a rolling pin into my hands. "You do it. I'll tackle your mysterious brownie thing."
That's when we hit our first snag.
"Wait." Katie paused mid-whisk, batter dripping from her spoon. "How much cocoa powder do we actually use?"
"Uh... a lot?" I tried to sound confident. "It's chocolate. More is always better."
"Is that a professional opinion, Mr. Terran Chef?" One eyebrow arched dangerously.
I shrugged with false bravado. "Let's call it educated intuition."
Famous last words.
The first batch came out looking like chocolate-flavored bricks. Katie took one bite, and her face contorted in pure betrayal.
"These taste like they're judging me," she said, spitting crumbs.
I carried one to Cass, who nearly broke her teeth trying to bite through it. "Maybe Erik can use them as emergency armor?" she suggested sweetly.
I stormed back into the kitchen, pride wounded but determination blazing.
"Okay, new plan. Less cocoa than sugar, and definitely salt," I declared.
By the second batch, we'd found our rhythm. The batter was rich, glossy, and perfectly sweet. Katie was rummaging for salt when an odd chirping sound made my blood freeze.
"What's that?" I paused mid-stir, Bravery reaching out looking for the source of the sound.
Katie's face went white. "Oh no. Not again."
Something small, green, and incredibly fast shot across the counter like a tiny missile, scattering ingredients before landing with a wet splat directly in my perfect batter.
"SERIOUSLY?!" I yelped, fishing the squirming creature out with a spatula. It glared at me with beady black eyes, tiny claws waving threateningly.
My aura hadn't even noticed it.
Katie snatched the creature from my hands. "It's harmless! Just a little salamander. They're attracted to sugar."
"Harmless? It just murdered my batter!"
"I'll put it outside," she said, whisking the tiny creature away while muttering apologies.
When she returned, she caught me swiping a finger through the contaminated batter. Her gasp was pure theater.
"Did you just eat lizard batter?"
"Don't knock it till you try it." I offered her a taste with a grin.
She hesitated, then dipped a spoon in. Her eyes went wide. "Oh. Oh. I get it now."
The salamander had actually improved the flavor somehow. Magic was weird.
An hour later, I had four trays of perfect brownies safely stored in my earring, along with enough bread and pastries to feed a small army. Katie's enthusiasm knew no bounds.
"You're like a walking pantry!" she beamed, shoving another loaf at me to store as I tried to leave.
I'd promised Cyrus the first taste, but Katie wasn't having it. She demanded to try one immediately.
The moment the brownie hit her tongue, Katie's eyes rolled back and she let out a low, primal "Mmmmmm" that made everyone in the bakery turn and stare. The way she looked at me while chewing was borderline terrifying—like I'd just become her personal drug dealer.
I quickly left the rest of the cocoa with her and backed away slowly.
"We should probably go," I told Cass and Erik, who were watching Katie's breakdown with barely concealed alarm.
Erik dropped blue coins on the table while Katie rushed around the kitchen, already planning her next batch with manic intensity.
Had I just introduced chocolate addiction to an entire planet?
On the way to Cyrus's shop, Cass demanded a sample. She took one bite, paused, and gave me a look that could melt steel.
"This is dangerously good," she admitted. "You're going to ruin people's lives with these."
"That's the plan," I grinned.
At Cyrus's shop, I presented him with an entire tray like I was delivering the Holy Grail. The moment the scent hit him, he froze mid-step, whiskers twitching frantically.
"These are... for me?" His voice carried a reverence usually reserved for religious artifacts.
"First taste, as promised."
He didn't hesitate, grabbing a piece and taking a cautious bite. His eyes widened to cartoon proportions, and for a terrifying moment, I thought he might actually weep with joy.
Word spread fast. Several Vildar appeared as if summoned by brownie-scented magic, approaching Cyrus with religious reverence.
"Not for sale!" Cyrus snapped, clutching the tray protectively and shooing away an insistent Albinus woman.
"I'll give you five silvers for the tray!" she offered, waving coins like she was bidding at an auction.
Cyrus scoffed. "Do you think this is charity? These are mine."
"We could auction them," I suggested innocently. "Start a bidding war. Imagine what you could trade for cocoa powder after this."
His whiskers twitched. He looked around at the gathering crowd of desperate Vildar, his eyes twitching as a feeling of danger filled the room.
Oh shit.
"GET OUT! WE'RE CLOSED!" he roared, his voice carrying enough magical force to rattle windows.
The customers fled like their lives depended on it. Behind us, the door slammed, its locks clicking ominously. The shop sign flipped to 'CLOSED' with supernatural speed.
Doreen was going to murder someone tonight.
As we approached Doreen's house, Cass slowed and flashed me an evil grin.
"I think I'll wait out here."
"Coward," I muttered.
"Smart," she corrected, leaning against a rain barrel to watch the show.
Erik and I stepped inside. The pub's noise hit like a physical wall, but the second the door closed, Doreen froze mid-conversation.
"What the fuck is that smell?" she demanded, her voice cutting through the chatter like a blade.
Every head turned as I produced two trays of brownies from my earring and set them on the nearest table with theatrical flair.
"Dessert," I announced, trying for confidence. "As an apology for the... earlier incident."
Doreen approached slowly, a predator stalking prey. She reached out, grabbed a steaming piece with bare hands, and took a deliberate bite.
The reaction was immediate.
She inhaled sharply, licked her fingers clean with disturbing intensity, and stood perfectly still. Her left eye twitched.
"Ben," she said, her voice low and dangerous as winter. "Go into the kitchen."
"Actually, Cass and I should probably—"
"I SAID KITCHEN!"
I spun and bolted for the exit, practically sliding into the street next to Cass.
"That bad?" she asked.
Before I could answer, the world exploded.
A thunderous crash shook the building, followed by a symphony of shattering glass. Erik came flying through the front window in full plate armor—minus the helmet—silvery aura crackling around him like lightning. He hit the cobblestones hard, rolled to his feet with impossible grace, and sprinted toward us—clutching a chunk of brownie like it was the crown jewels.
"FUCK YOU, DOREEN!" he yelled over his shoulder, crumbs flying as he devoured the contraband chocolate.
A split second later, Doreen exploded through the doorway, her green aura blazing like emerald wildfire.
"You court death, Ironheart! If you EVER fucking hug me again," she spat, "I'll shove your head so far up your ass you'll taste yesterday's breakfast!"
She stormed back inside, leaving us in stunned silence.
Cass and I exchanged a look.
"Well," I said, already walking up the street. "That went better than expected."
"That was better?" Cass laughed, falling into step beside me.
"Erik got to keep his brownie," I pointed out. "I call that a win."
Ahead of us, Erik was still running, armor clanking as he sprinted towards the tower.
Maybe introducing brownies to this world hadn't been my smartest move.
But damn if it wasn't entertaining.
Comments
Zebrababies
This and the cinnamon bun chapter are my favorite lol
