M.S. Davidson
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47. The First Step
🕑 Added 2025-09-08 16:00:08 +0000 UTCWhite light exploded behind my eyes, then faded into the familiar stone and sky of my soul's courtyard. But something was wrong—or maybe finally right. The flagstones beneath my feet felt solid as bedrock. I couldn't sense my physical body at all, like the connection had been severed completely.
I scanned for Ted, but for the first time since I'd met him, he was nowhere to be found. My gaze landed on the massive doors carved into the mountainside—Valor's rune blazed across their surface, pulsing with deep blue fire that seemed to burn straight through my retinas.
A cold flicker of light sparked behind me.
I turned, movements sluggish as if I were swimming through liquid mercury. An impossibly massive storm hovered over the endless ocean, roiling with blue lightning that split the sky like cracks in reality. Each bolt struck the water with the force of falling meteors, sending shockwaves I could feel in my bones.
I blinked—slowly—and when my eyes reopened; the storm had devoured kilometers in a heartbeat. Lightning came faster now, a relentless barrage that made the air itself scream as the colossal tempest rolled toward the mountain.
What the hell do I do? I tried to shout, but my voice was gone, swallowed by the storm's roar. My body felt like it was made of lead, every movement a monumental effort.
Instead, I turned back to the door, focusing on the Seal that burned like a captured star.
Valor pulsed in royal blue, its patterns so intricate they hurt to look at directly. The longer I stared, the more I discovered—layers upon layers of symbols spiraling inward, each one containing universes of meaning. I could spend eternity studying it and barely scratch the surface.
My fingertips brushed the runes, and mana buzzed through my skin like touching a live wire. Images crashed into my mind with the weight of absolute truth—countless acts of Valor woven into a single, undeniable command.
Stand. Fight. Protect.
Lightning struck the mountainside behind me, and blue energy erupted across the courtyard's railings, crackling over stone like liquid electricity. The storm was right on top of me now, tearing reality apart with each bolt—everywhere except the courtyard itself.
For the first time, I noticed the flagstones beneath my feet formed a perfect circle, equidistant from the door and the cliff's edge.
Of course.
I stepped toward the center, each footfall echoing like a bell in a cathedral. This was my soul, right? A waking dream made manifest. No real danger—just something waiting for me to understand.
After what felt like hours, I reached the center and looked up. The storm churned overhead, clouds flickering with a relentless energy that vibrated through the air. Blue lightning rained down like the wrath of gods, blasting chunks of mountain into the air. The air tasted of ozone and electricity as destruction unfolded around me—everywhere but here.
Then, without warning, it stopped.
The silence hit harder than the storm's fury. Clouds still pulsed with blue light, but something had changed—like the storm was dying, its power finally spent.
A thick bolt tore downward, crackling through the air before bending in an impossible arc—straight into my chest.
Pain exploded through every nerve, white-hot and absolute. The force launched me backward toward the doors, but before I could hit them everything went black.
***
I blinked, unsure if I'd passed out or if this was just how it worked. There was no difference between eyes open or closed—just pure, suffocating darkness that pressed against me like a living thing.
I lay on my back, the floor beneath me cold and smooth against bare skin.
Pushing myself upright, I realized the sluggish weight from before was gone. I moved freely now, searching for anything in the void—but there was nothing. No light, no shape, no hope.
Instinctively, I reached for my earring, fumbling for a lantern orb—and found nothing. My mana sanctum was gone, leaving me truly alone in the abyss.
Deep in my mind, something screamed at me to fight back. Mana surged through me, pathways blazing blue in my enhanced sight. I reached for Valor, for Bravery—and found neither. Only one concept remained, burning like a candle in the infinite dark.
Radiance.
I latched onto it, pulling power into my hands until they glowed with inner light. My fingers formed the Lotus Mudra, and I pushed everything I had through them.
Daylight erupted from my palms, a brilliant arc that cut through the void like a blade of pure sunlight. But the beam wasn't just illuminating the darkness—it was burning it. The blackness smoldered where light touched, curling away like smoke from a funeral pyre.
Yet as I moved, the darkness pushed back, fighting against the glow with malevolent intelligence.
Something unnatural stirred in the depths.
The beam thinned, pressure building against my hands like trying to force water through a pinhole while something massive pressed back from the other side. The light shrank, narrowing to barely a meter ahead—defying logic as the darkness actively rejected my power.
Then the pressure hit.
The void closed in from all sides, crushing, suffocating. It wasn't just around me—it was inside me, sinking into my muscles, locking them until I shook uncontrollably. My chest tightened, breath coming in ragged gasps as my hands trembled. The light flickered, dimming to a pathetic pink glow.
My heart hammered against my ribs, terror clawing at my throat.
Fight.
The command slammed into my mind like a physical blow, raw and undeniable.
Desperation flared through me as I forced Radiance into every pathway I had. Pain seared through my body, tearing at my nerves as white light erupted outward in a violent dome, burning away the suffocating blackness.
I screamed defiance, heat crackling over my skin as I threw my arms wide. The darkness recoiled, sliding against my barrier like oil on water, testing for gaps, searching for weakness. It shifted and writhed, red smoke curling unnaturally around me, trying to reform.
But I didn't stop.
I stepped forward, forcing the aura of light against it, burning away whatever malevolent thing it was. The shadow squirmed, shifting frantically to slip around my defenses, but I flooded more mana into the dome, pressing it back with everything I had.
The thing screamed—a shrill, high-pitched shriek that sounded almost human.
Then, in a last burst of red light, the world detonated into clarity.
Blinding illumination seared my vision, and when it faded, I stood on a massive stone dais high in the sky, surrounded by an endless horizon of jagged peaks. The air was impossibly clear, each mountain sharp enough to cut glass.
And lying in front of me—was me.
Black smoke curled from his body, burning away in tendrils of red light. He lifted his head, the void in his eyes dissolving to reveal my gaze staring back.
"Without light, there will always be darkness," he said, voice echoing with finality. "The fight is eternal."
My breath caught as he shifted, dissolving into a cascade of multicolored sparks that slammed into me with the force of a freight train. I hit the stone hard, sprawling awkwardly across the dais.
Gasping, I pushed myself upright. The panic, the terror—gone. In its place was an eerie tranquility, like the calm after a storm. The sheer horror of what had just happened felt distant, already fading like a half-remembered nightmare.
Then reality cracked.
The sound was sharp, unnatural—like the universe itself splitting at the seams. I spun just in time to see an entire mountain collapse in a plume of dust and debris. A massive golden figure followed through from a kick, its size incomprehensible—boulders the size of cities hurtled through the air, slamming into distant peaks with thunderous force.
It had no features, just an immense humanoid form with four arms, each one carving through mountains as if they were made of snow.
New terror gripped me as the figure turned, raising one colossal hand. A thick beam of white energy erupted from its palm, cutting through the mountains to my right. The explosion sent shockwaves tearing across the landscape, slamming into the dais with enough force to launch me airborne.
I tumbled, rolling dangerously close to the edge as my ears rang and my mind scrambled for any magic I could grasp.
Courage.
For the first time, I bound it—not as Bravery, but something more pure, raw, and necessary. The fear didn't vanish, but it became manageable, distant.
The colossal figure seemed to notice me then, its head tilting with what might have been curiosity.
I narrowed my eyes as it stepped over a mountain, then broke into a sprint. Thousands of tons of stone and debris flew in its wake, boulders slamming into the dais around me like meteors from an angry god.
I walked forward through the chaos, unbothered.
Standing at the edge, I met the towering figure's gaze, locking eyes with whatever it had in place of them.
Stand!
"Oh, I already am," I muttered, half-amused, half-exhilarated.
The ground trembled beneath me, the sheer force of its footsteps lifting me slightly with each impact. I pointed straight at it as it tore through the landscape, shaking the world with every stride.
"Dream or not, that is the coolest thing I've ever seen."
The figure skidded to a stop just in front of the dais—and grinned with my face. Another me, but one that looked like it could bench press planets.
"Well, you can't fault me for trying," it boomed in my voice, sounding almost sheepish. "Figured I'd crank it up to eleven. Go for something cinematic, you know?"
I laughed, the Courage rune making the whole situation feel less like a nightmare and more like what it really was—a test. After using Bravery for a week straight, this felt like greeting an old friend.
"Let's not make this awkward," the giant cleared its throat with a sound like avalanches. "I've got a thing to say here."
I smirked up at it. "Can you do the beam thing one more time first?"
The statue's grin widened. "Oh, hell yeah."
It raised a hand, and brilliant white energy ripped through the mountains to my left, obliterating them in an explosion of light and dust. Debris cascaded in every direction, a spectacle of destruction so over-the-top it belonged in a superhero movie.
Then, with a knowing look, it spoke.
"Sometimes all hope needs is the Courage to stand against the tide."
Before I could respond, it burst apart into a colossal wave of multicolored light, the sheer force slamming into me like a fire hose made of pure power.
I was launched off the dais, weightless, tumbling through space as energy poured into me—faster, deeper, accelerating me toward the unknown.
The ground slammed into my back with surprising gentleness. Given my velocity, I'd expected to crater, but the earth was soft, grass tickling against my skin. My vision cleared, revealing an impossibly vivid night sky where millions of stars swirled overhead, clustering into massive constellations that twinkled in every color imaginable.
A low, resonant hum—like a struck tuning fork—rang through the air before fading to silence.
"You good?" The voice was mine, but older.
I sat up, blinking at the figure on a log just ahead. He looked like me, but aged—salt-and-pepper beard matching his hair, draped in a deep green satin robe that made him look like a wise monk from a kung fu movie.
"Compassion?" I asked.
He laughed, turning a hand in a noncommittal gesture. "Eh, sort of. We're all just representations of your soul's connection to the concepts. The light trial was the only genuine concern—black and white and all that." He shrugged. "As for Compassion... a deep conversation seems more fitting than a test. Not that the last one was really a trial either."
With a grunt, he stood, grabbing a black walking staff with an unmistakable orange orb embedded at the end.
I stared, scrambling to my feet. "Holy shit, Winchester? Or is that just a representation? I'm confused."
Compassion glanced at the staff like he was seeing it for the first time. "Oh, this? Is that what it's called? It's a good stick." He gave it a small twirl, then started walking through the field. I jogged to catch up, only then realizing I was wearing the same green robe.
"Life is precious and fragile," he said, gesturing to the open expanse around us. "But it's also relentless, unstoppable, and brutal."
As he spoke, trees erupted from the ground all around us, twisting upward at impossible speed. Branches cracked and splintered as the clearing transformed into a dense forest in seconds, the air suddenly thick with the scent of pine and earth.
"Life finds a way?" I said, smirking.
He chuckled. "Exactly. And with that comes sacrifice. Compassion means helping when you can—but sometimes you can't. And sometimes..." He exhaled, expression growing distant. "Sometimes, you shouldn't."
The forest settled into heavy silence, shadows dancing between the trees.
"Death is part of life. A cycle. You can save people from it, but sometimes the kindest thing you can do... is return them to it."
"Ominous," I said, walking beside him.
"I know. Not bad, eh?" He turned to meet my gaze, taking a deep breath. "I don't have answers. I'm just you, and in a second, you'll just be you again, and there won't be a me. But..." He hesitated, studying my face. "Are you sure Valor's the one? You should be proud you found something that powerful so fast, but a Paladin? That's not going to be an easy path."
I thought of the multiple times I'd used Valor in combat, the way it felt like coming home every time I bound it. I nodded without hesitation.
He stepped back, form already dissolving into flickering light.
"Protect those who matter to you, and live life to its fullest."
Grinning, he tossed Winchester toward me. The moment it hit my palm, the world exploded in light, knocking me flat on my back. I stared up at the swirling stars and constellations spinning overhead like a cosmic kaleidoscope.
Something felt... different. As if some invisible weight had been pressing on me my entire life and had finally lifted. I felt lighter, faster—every movement effortless. I was vaguely aware of my physical form in Arryava's tub, but here, in my soul's depths, I was more real than I'd ever been.
Then, the distinct hiss of a can being cracked open pulled me from my thoughts.
I craned my neck toward my feet. Ted stood over me, his usual ragged clothes replaced by robes that actually made him look respectable. He'd even bothered to comb his ratty hair.
Taking a long swig, he let out a loud burp and smacked his lips with satisfaction.
"Well, shit. I didn’t expect to be doin' this today. Welcome to your soul space, kid."
I pushed myself up, glancing around in wonder. The doors leading to the courtyard were gone, replaced by an open gateway where the Valor Seal burned bright as a star. The chamber around me was circular, pulsing with ghostly blue energy like a heartbeat. Directly across from me, a completely out-of-place purple and orange door stood alone, leading to nowhere.
The air was thick with mana, flowing through the open gateway like a warm breeze.
Ted grinned, raising his beer in a lazy salute. "Yeah, it's cramped for now. But you fuckin' did it, kid! You took the first step. That was quick."
Realizing I was still holding Winchester, I turned it over in my hands, feeling the faint buzz of energy humming beneath my fingers. "How the hell did this get here... in my soul? And can I get it out?"
Ted seemed to consider the question, and the light in the room shifted. I barely had time to react before my vision tilted, and I toppled over, slamming onto my back. The ceiling above vanished, replaced by an endless night sky filled with millions of swirling, multicolored stars.
Thin lines of energy connected them into constellations, pulsing with meaning that made my brain ache. My heart pounded as I stared into the infinite galaxy overhead. My body—my actual body—strained like I was sprinting at full speed without moving.
Information screamed at me from all angles, a relentless torrent of meaning and noise. The air trembled under its weight, the room shuddering under the sheer volume of knowledge pouring in.
Then, without warning, it all winked out.
The ceiling reappeared, bare and domed. Lit by soft blue light.
"Whoa, shit. Sorry about that, kid." Ted shook his head, looking genuinely apologetic. "Spirit-guide stuff. That was a doozy of a question, had to check my math."
I blinked hard, trying to clear my head. "A question? Spirit-guide stuff? That was a literal universe of information up there, Ted. What the fuck?"
Ted grinned, pointing his beer at Winchester. "You asked if you could bring that fancy stick into the physical world. And I think we can, while we still have some of that mana gunk you're lying in."
My body was adjusting to the energy flowing through it, and I could feel my physical form stirring somewhere distant, like waking up just beneath the surface of a dream.
Ted strolled over to the glowing Valor rune in the doorway. "Ain't got time to explain, but you need to take all the mana your meat suit's soaking up in that tub and shove it into Valor. It's called mana burning." He smirked. "Though I don't think the insect lady watching you is gonna like the result."
I stopped mid-stride, eyes narrowing. "This is the first time you've referenced my actual physical situation."
Ted's grin stretched wide, entirely too pleased with himself. "That Seal you bound? Yeah, it's basically a window now. I get a front-row seat to the show, and trust me—ol' Ted likes to watch."
I ran a hand down my face, not sure how to process that revelation. Everything was happening too fast. And that was also really creepy… how much could he see?
"Hey, go open that door, will ya?" He pointed at the odd purple-and-orange door.
Still wary, I walked over and cautiously pushed it open. Inside was a long hallway lined with golden shelves, each stacked with bread, water gourds, scattered coins, and various items I'd collected.
"My mana sanctum?" I asked, staring into what was basically an impossible storage closet.
"Yep! Don't ask me how it can cross the veil because we ain't got time for the lecture. We're gonna use it as a bridge for your stick."
He held his hands toward my Seal like he was warming himself by a campfire. With just a thought, I felt all the mana in the air shift toward it, feeding the flame as energy exploded around me.
"Now," he said, sounding almost too cheerful, "this is probably gonna hurt. A lot."
Before I could react, the room erupted into an inferno of molten blue, a wave of raw energy slamming into me and launching me backward—straight through the door and into—
