Patrefans
M.J. Markgraf from patreon
M.J. Markgraf patreon

Blue Star Enterprises Chapter 57

🕑 Added 2024-07-29 12:00:14 +0000 UTC

Comments

Merlin's Fan

From my understanding she might not like people, but she is quite smart..

Merlin's Fan

I think the scene with the daughter might be a bit off. There could be more drama there besides her not playing her role as a child that built a tiny robot. Perhaps the dumb spy could play a part here?

Aclys

*He grabbed a small rolling cart that had been knocked over during the fight and loaded the weapons onto them. Even the grenade launcher, then he pushed it out through the opening and toward the next entry point* "The prices are dropping and so are the bodies for this fire sale, every pirate must go" - Alexander, power shopper.

Shmooggie

Ah, there’s no next chapter, time to cry.😢

Shmooggie

Haven’t read the chapter yet but I’m excited!

mmarkgraf212

Hypersonic is correct. The railgun round is traveling past Mach 5

mmarkgraf212

Did you not see the post about the previous chapter rework? As for Yulia, she was heading back to her home at the time of the attack, which is situated apart from all the other residents of the facility. Why wouldn't she run to Alex first?

DaftWully

Was he conscious when the discussion about the damage to his chassis happened? I thought it took him some time for that to happen.

Kevin Neely

Probably supersonic not hypersonic.

Overclocked

Cool chapter. It is clear to me now why you had the EMP work so well. You wanted to show off how badass the robot is. That said, the impact is reduced because I couldn't stop thinking about how stupid he was to not harden his defenses against EMP. Last time I mention this, but I suggest you rewrite the chapter fully and maybe add another chapter where the pirates need to find a way around his defenses because it's silly how a EMP blast hundreds of years in the future can just drop defenses. Also, why is his daughter not running to the shelter? My guess is you want to set up a hostage scenario. It seems out of character for her since she should be terrified of running around with guns going off. No adults around to see her going the wrong direction either? It reads like just another plot device used right after the last silly plot device with the EMP. Still a good story but I think you need to focus more on individual character motivation. Sure a child will want to be around their father with danger around, but to go out of her way when likely everyone else would be running to shelter? I don't buy it.

Hammy

TFTC. I think he forgets that the damage he had before was thought to have been done by a Ship Based weapon. Not small arms fire.


More Creators