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Kernstalion 23: Choices and consequences
🕑 Added 2021-03-20 13:02:38 +0000 UTCI could, in essence, shape what a god or goddess would become?
My hyperactive mind began picturing increasingly odd things, and I quickly pushed the images away before they turned into reality.
"There are no limits?"
"There are. I am what you call a good deity. I lean more towards order than chaos, but only marginally. That means I can not become a deity of law or of war, either of which requires an extreme of either. This is also why I can't become a deity of wild-nature or of water, none of the prime elements, or things like hate or love."
There were more limits than I had thought, and I frowned.
"Do not worry. You and I are already compatible on a deeper level than you can understand. If you are true to yourself, what you imagine will be alright. But… be certain of what you decide, because although I may change slightly across the eons, I will always be what you decide at its core."
My mind was switching between a blank and utter chaos: images and ideas, potential options warring for attention to be discarded again. A big part of me didn't even believe any of what was going on was even real, while another part told me to run, to escape from what must be an evil monster. But beneath it all, there was a sense of hope. If I could form a deity, a benign but powerful one that could bring people together instead of causing them to war, perhaps-
"You have decided to believe in me… I can feel it already, even though you don't yet know the final form. A connection is forming between us. Come inside before the disturbance alerts others who might enslave both of us."
The words caused my mind to grow calm, and I realized the deity was right. Although I was still afraid of being tricked, deep down, even still afraid this was actually a game, I couldn't resist.
Sighing, I gripped my ax and moved forward until I stood before the entrance. Old, stale air came from inside, and starring in the darkness, I wondered how I would even find the deity.
A light shone deep inside the building, and I saw a long corridor. Moving inside, I noticed that what I had thought was a building was actually a massively thick wall. It made sense. If you wanted to lock away a god, how would you do that? I stopped blinking. Wait, how did you lock away a god?
"By tricking the deity into believing it could fix a mistake it made. Drawing its true being in and enclosing it inside a mountain of rock that will take even a deity millennia to dig out of, and telling everybody it is forbidden to speak its name."
The pain in the whispered voice made my stomach clench.
"Are you him or her?" I asked, realizing I was having a hard time deciding.
"Neither now. All was lost over the eons, and you get to decide."
"Does it matter to you?" I asked curiously as I moved forward.
"Not a lot."
I blinked. So it did matter. "You were female before, weren't you?" I said. Every time I had said god, it had corrected me, saying it was deity. I had thought it was because it didn't like the word, but perhaps it was because it preferred goddess?
"It doesn't matter anymore," the voice whispered, but as it did, the voice changed and got a distinctly feminine tone. The androgynous nature left, and although the voice was deep, it was also hazy and melodious.
"It does to me," I muttered.
"I've noticed," the goddess replied, and although I could be mistaken, I thought I heard a faint approval.
"Do you mind if I call you goddess instead of deity? It's annoying."
A soft laugh flowed towards me, and I realized I wasn't even halfway through the hallway.
"Deity is but a word, with a different meaning than goddess. But as most people will use my name, or goddess in the future, I don't mind."
The light became brighter as I came closer, and finally, I exited the tunnel to step into a small room. It was completely square, and in the middle was a hovering, glowing elongated sphere. Seeing nothing else around, I focused on the sphere.
"Is that you?" I asked curiously.
"Yes."
The whisper came from the orb, and my eyes widened. So deities started like glowing eggs? Who would have known?
The laugh came again, and it was so infectious I had to smile.
"I can see already, I'll be a lot funnier than before," the goddess said, and I could hear an undercurrent of joy in her voice.
"Do you have a name?"
"No. Once I had many, but all were forgotten. When nobody remembers a deity's name, the name loses meaning, and a deity loses power. It is why so many deities have buildings, and statues built, books written about them. A failsafe."
Leaving the trouble of names for later, I sat down, cross-legged, and stared at the sphere. I wanted to hurry, but I knew that would be the stupidest thing I could do. What I needed to do was decide.
"Are there any tips you can give me?"
"Yes," the goddess said, and this time I was sure I heard approval. "If you choose too many things, I will become capable of many things but will not be powerful in any-"
The voice stopped as a silly smile came to my face together with a myriad of images.
"Indeed, that is a very apt way to describe it. A Jack of all trades, but master of none. I like that," the goddess said.
Again I could hear the approval. It felt good, like when my mother had complimented me when I was a child, but then stronger.
So, I had to choose a few well-connected concepts and ideas. They had to form a cohesive, unified whole that was easy to understand and remember. Thinking back to the many deities I knew from the myriad of games and books, and the ones that had been most popular, an idea formed. She had to be fair and strong. Her moral had to be good, that of a protector, a guardian. If humanity was to come here, there would be many hurdles to take. With how divided humanity was, she had to appeal to as many as possible.
"You are overcomplicating things. Let me help you a bit," the goddess spoke.
Suddenly an image flashed through my mind, a man beating down a woman. I felt her fear, anger, and sense of injustice. I felt I could do something about it, and with a hiss, I granted her power and resolve. The woman rose and clobbered the man as the image faded.
A second image came, fast and hard. A small village appeared, and in the middle, a crowd surrounded pyres with figures bound to stakes. The figures writhed in agony, their pain flowing to me. At the same time, I could feel the joy of the crowd as they saw the thieves burn. Again a choice and a roaring group of knights appeared, brandishing axes. They scattered the crowds, and one of them created a wave of water to douse the flames. The partially burned, wounded figures were cut from the stakes and put on the ground.
As the knights, paladins even, kneeled beside the wounded, another choice came—a harder one. The burned figures had been caught as they waylaid a caravan, stealing and plundering and massacring the merchants. I saw as they laughed while butchering an older man, cutting him to pieces as his son watched. I hesitated for a moment and then chose. With clean, sharp swings, the paladins decapitated the partially burned raiders. This world was too hard, and to guard sometimes meant to be merciless.
Another image, this time an image of two armies opposite each other, arrows streaming forward as horses slammed together and a massive, chaotic battle ensued. I frowned as I understood the reason for the battle. Both armies belonged to kingdoms and had opposite agendas. One wanted the other's fertile land, while the other wanted sole dominion over all lands. Looking at the battle, I felt no interest in it, the options not what I wanted. Without my doing, the image flowed sideways quickly. Lands flew by, forest and the burned remains of farmsteads, while a stream of people fled the ravaged land. Moving through the dark forest, there was nobody there to guard them. Soon, the monsters that roamed the woods waylayed them.
Before I could act, an old farmer was slaughtered by a pack of wolves, having lured them away from his young granddaughter. I frowned as I wished I'd been in time to help him. Time flowed quickly, and three women with pitchforks raised held back a group of grinning bandits. Behind them, other bandits chased the rest of the refugees, laughing and hollering. No options were there, just a silent query. I made an option then, forcing my desire on the image, and galloping sounds came from the forest. A group of armored men and women, wearing a dark leather tunic with a silver shield and a bloodred ax on it, rushed from the depths of the wood on horseback. They cannoned into the bandits, quickly dispatching them before flanking the column. The image faded as I saw the column safely reach a harbor city.
Another scene came inside a dark and gloomy warehouse. I knew it was abandoned, and the neighing of horses and talking of people were but distant background sounds. A loud, snapping sound came, accentuated by a high pitch scream. A dozen children sat huddled together, quietly watching in terror as a large man whipped a young boy bound to a chest. He was screaming in a language I didn't know but could somehow understand, begging for mercy. He would do better next time he screamed. The man said nothing, but his obscene smile widened as he licked his cracked lips. A burning rage filled me. I wanted to stop it, right now, and I barely saw the options I was shown. Instead, I created my own, and in the high, dark shape of the building, something moved across a beam.
Dodging from shadow to shadow until it was above the figure of the man, an agile figure jumped down. Wearing a tight black leather outfit and holding two axes that glimmered in the dim light, the figure plummeted down atop the man. The axes struck the man on each side of its neck with a swift motion, ending him. The image slowly faded, leaving a dissatisfied taste in my mouth.
I'd wanted to make the man pay, hurt him for what he did. But I knew not enough, only what I saw. Besides, doing more would not do me any good nor the children. A swift, clean end to a monster would serve us all better. Slowly the lingering sensation left, leaving resolve.
Another image, another choice, another resolution. And another. Another. They flashed faster and faster, and I barely managed to remember them. At a certain moment, the choices were resolved before I could act, and soon after, I had no more say at all. Scenes played out, like a silent movie of situations, flashing by until they faded.
A shape emerged in my mind, almost as if someone was painting a rough outline; a tall, athletic shape with two arms and legs, wearing a breastplate with a single pauldron. It sat on the shoulder of a chainmail covered right arm. A large, oval shield was held in the gauntlet covered hand. The other, bare and muscular, held a long, slender ax with red blades shaped like a butterfly's wings. The ax wasn't raised, but a sense of urgency and immediate action came from the woman, while a shield in her other gleamed like the moon. She had spiky black hair and gleaming black eyes with red and silver streaks in them that stared straight into mine.
With a jolt something connected to my mind.
It lasted for only a moment, but as it did, it felt as if I was seen through and through. The image in my mind shimmered, details adding that made some sort of sense, though I wasn't the one that added them.
A long scar on a cheek, odd for a goddess, and shapely but bushy brows. An emblem on her breastplate like that the mounted knights had, a silver shield with a blood-red ax. More things, so fast it was like a blur, and then the image disappeared, leaving a sad and empty feeling.
The feeling lasted for a moment when the glowing egg flashed, vanished, and was replaced by the woman I had just seen in my mind's eye. The scent of burnished leather and oiled steel mixed with a gentle fragrance like a flower.
"You did well, Est. Very well," the woman said as she stared down at me. "It almost makes me happy I had to stay here for such a long time!"
She was probably two and a half meters tall, if not more, and looked like the cross between an amazon and an old image I'd seen of a Norse Goddess. She was more beautiful than anything I'd seen and far more powerful.
Nodding stupidly, it took me a while to regain my clarity. When I did, she was still smiling at me.
"Now what?" I asked, having no idea what to expect.
"Now, I need to leave for a while. I need to enter the primal chaos and see what will be etched out by my new presence and what type of powers will be drawn my way. Also, I need to find and speak with the other deities of neighboring domains, lest I be set upon by the evil ones."
I shook my head, not really understanding what she meant. "Will you be ok if they attack you?"
Her smile changed into a grin, one of surety and guarantee. "Let them try."
I nodded as my own confidence was suddenly bolstered.
"Will I be safe from other deities now?" I asked, not sure if I should be afraid.
"Almost," the towering goddess said as she moved closer.
My neck cracked as I looked up, wondering what more I had to do.
"I need a name."
I blinked, feeling unqualified suddenly. A ridiculous feeling after having just shaped the future of a deity. "Can't you name yourself?" I asked.
"No, not ever. It is the curse of being a Deity. Mighty if worshipped, mere watchers otherwise, unable to name oneself or define oneself beyond base, core values. No, give me a name! A powerful one, with meaning!"
Christ, that was one way to freak someone out. I shivered and thought up all the names I knew of goddesses, but none seemed to suit. Besides, what if those were based on real ones? I didn't feel like getting involved in godly plagiarism. Should I just give her a normal name, like Jill? The idea made me smirk, but I shook my head. After what I just went through, it wouldn't be appropriate. What were her core tenets anyway? I tried to remember the images, but they were starting to fade from my mind, leaving just vague after images, like a bad dream. What I got was mostly feelings: a lot of personal freedom and justice backed by force. A little payback, but mostly clean decisive finality. Prevention of injustice, guarding those who could not but tried.
I tried to come up with a term or a word that would do justice to the different elements and then stopped. Shouldn't it be the other way around? A name should invoke meaning due to deeds done instead of a preordained meaning-laden upon a term. Besides, in other languages, the term would just be another sound… wouldn't it?
I got no reply, but I thought it made sense. And that meant it mattered little besides what sounded good and strong. It should be short, easy to remember. Rathica… the name popped in my mind, and I blinked. If it didn't matter, wouldn't it be as good as any other? Besides, it sounded a bit like wrath, which was part of her tenets.
Looking up, I saw the goddess smile at me, her eyes sparkling.
"Rathica it is," she said, and she put her hand on my shoulder. I felt something flow through me, and then she was gone. Loud pings came from my status, dozens, in quick succession.
The room was empty and dark, hollow. Where did she go? Somehow I felt alone, the absence of her presence like a blow to the gut. It didn't last long, though, and slowly the whole situation began to fade. Within moments it seemed like a dream, although I knew it wasn't.
Examining the grey, shadowy outlines, I blinked. How could I see in the dark? Looking around, I saw that there wasn't anything left in the room.
"Great… So now what?" I muttered. With a sigh, I turned and moved out of the room that was starting to feel claustrophobic.
The trip back seemed longer than I remembered, and when I exited into the courtyard, I stopped and gasped. There was a statue of Rathica on the fountain, her ax low, seemingly ready to be raised if the need arose. A large shield sat on her armored arm, and the same shield with a red ax was on her breastplate.
"At least she doesn't have a beard…" I muttered, trying to remember as more and more details slipped away. The thing I did remember was the loud pings from my status. Sitting on the edge of the fountain, I summoned my status.
> Unique feat
> You have reinstated one of the elder gods of old, a being previously without a name that had been lost to the ages for thousands of years
> As the one who helped shape her, you are her first follower and are guaranteed a free choice of any of her classes
> Deity locked to: Rathica the Wrathguard
> Potential class options locked to: deity specific only
> Deity specific class options pending
Seeing the double lock, one for my deity choice and the other for my class, I sighed and turned to the crack in the wall. It was time to get out of here and pray all of this hadn't taken too much time.
What was up with that Wrathguard title though? I didn't remember any of that, although with how hazy my memory was, I might have forgotten.
Trying to remember, I moved along the narrow path.
