carrarn
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Kernstalion - chapter 83: Chaotic nightmares
🕑 Added 2022-07-02 19:18:32 +0000 UTCIt took me ten minutes to reach the edge -an almost mist-like disturbance in the water with a shimmering sheet- that separated us from what lay inside.
Libidi had her hands against the barrier, a worried frown on her face. Her mount was a small distance away.
On a hunch, I ordered it towards the barrier. An odd sense of unwillingness came, but it tried. The long, reptilian carving inched closer, then stopped moving. It shuddered like two magnets opposing, then I felt the Vengeful Spirit ripped from the body and shoved far away. The body instantly stopped moving, drifting back slightly.
"Well shit," I muttered as I turned to Libidi.
"This is dangerous," she said. "I don't think I cant withstand this pressure."
Grab her hand, and help her in! Rathica's voice boomed in my mind like a clarion.
Before I could even think of resisting, I pushed myself from my mount, swam beside Libidi, and grabbed her hand. She looked up, shocked, but didn't pull back, but she wasn't as shocked as I. The moment I touched her hand, I sensed something, a foreign presence, powerful like a Deity, hiding near her.
Ignore it, Rathica hissed.
What the hell is going on, I snapped back, but there was no response.
"Rathica says to help you. Let's go," I said, taking a deep breath through my gills and putting my free hands on the barrier.
It had looked metallic, cold perhaps, but as my hands touched it, a dim heat warmed my palms. It wasn't painful, but as I pushed harder, my left top hand suddenly passed through and into what seemed like scalding hot water. I groaned. Seriously? I had to go in there? It took me a minute before I managed to push forward.
As my arm passed through the barrier, a blurry shape slammed into the bubble next to us, and with a pop, Lark burst through before suddenly hanging inside as if in slow motion. His eyes widened, and his maw opened like a slowly opening floodgate, but I heard nothing.
"Get ready," I said.
Steeling myself, I pushed further inside. It felt like slowly dipping myself into a boiling pot of oil, starting as a sharp pain, then rapidly dulled to a deep, throbbing one. I almost expected the skin on my arm to be bubbling, but I saw nothing but slightly marred skin.
Only mental pain then, I thought, somewhat relieved by that. I was already starting to fear the number of scars I was accumulating.
When my chest area entered, the pain intensified. If I hadn't been practicing the mental Mindscape expanding skill, I wondered if I would have been able to resist pulling back. Next to me I heard a low, deep moan of such intense pleasure I wasn't sure I wanted to look.
After a moment, I did anyway. Perhaps morbid curiosity, I don't know. Libidi, her arms and shoulder through the barrier like mine, had a look of rapture as she licked her lips. Her eyes were almost closed and partially rolled up.
"If you want, you can take some of mine," my mouth moved before I could think of what I asked or its implications.
Libidi looked up, her eyes hazy and unfocused. It seemed she hadn't heard, and I was glad when I felt the pain dim slightly. Libidi gasped and started to pant rapidly. Her free hand moved towards her legs, and I averted my eyes as fast as I could.
Dammit, perhaps I should just keep this part to myself, I thought. Yeah. I'm sure Eli doesn't need to know this!
When my last foot pulled into the barrier, I felt a short jolt; then, the sense of malleable liquid disappeared as if it solidified. I couldn't move an inch, and the pain increased again, back to what it was before Libidi took some. If that was because she couldn't help anymore or because whatever was happening intensified was unclear. The world ahead had turned into shades of gray. Only the demons a hundred feet on stuck out, like bright red figures against a cloud-filled sky.
Fantastic. Let's see how far I can get, I thought as I began pushing as hard as I could against the steel-like vice binding me.
After a second, I changed my opinion. It wasn't that something was clasping me tight. I was pushing against a massive weight. I pushed forward an inch and tried to push harder with a little extra speed. Between the weight and the pain, even with Libidi's help excruciating, I felt worry and fear bubble up. How the hell was I going to catch up to those demons?
Don't give up! Get that shard, Rathica's voice was laced with a weary pain of her own, but beneath it was a steel-like strength. A desire to never give up.
Did she get that from me? I wondered as I ground my teeth and began the tedious and painfilled process of pushing forward.
As I moved further, inch by inch, I noticed my connection with Rathica strengthened slightly, as if we were moving closer together. Time ceased being important. Lark slowly crept ahead of me. Libidi felt like an anchor, but I didn't bother to check if she was helping. Rathica had said to help her, and I was. Besides, the heat kept increasing, and with it, the pain. Who knew how much it would go up, and without Libidi's idiotic savant pain tolerance, I might never make it.
A dull ping came from my status, and I found I could pull it up while still pushing forward.
> Mindscape being compressed by ambient power three tiers above normal
> Mindscape being compressed by ambient power four tiers above normal
Oh shit.
> We might be increasing this pressure even more. How much can the Mindscape barrier take?
I asked Par.
> Mortal, you should have told me you were going to try absorbing a Despotin essence!
> I would have forced a Despotin bloodline down your throat!
> Such an absolute waste!
The hell? There are bloodlines? I wasn't sure what to think of that, but at least Par seemed to know something about what was going on.
> Par, remind me of that soon, but first! How much?
> Up to seven with one tree, which is fine if you don't go too deep
> How many layers does the essence have?
I frowned, confused for a moment, then realized he must mean the layered bubbles.
> Three, then some bright thing
> Bah, not great, just average. What is the center color?
That was easy.
> Silver
> Alright, just an average one then. Just don't go inside the center region, and you will be fine.
> Stay halfway through the second, then hold!
I stared at the messages, wondering how it was possible that I could even feel something like a simple headache. My entire body felt like it was clamped by molten metal, and my head was hurting from annoyance?
> Rathica says I need to get the shard…
Time passed as I pressed on, but there was no response. Finally, I couldn't take it.
> Par?
> Pipe down, I'm thinking!
I sighed and continued to push onward. It was hard to determine distance, but I thought I had made it a dozen feet. Lark was a full body length further now, and from what I could see, he was faster than the demons. I was around the same speed, which meant I had to push harder.
A few feet further, I finally got a response.
> There's only one thing you can do, and you aren't going to like it
I could barely bring up the energy for a snarky response.
> Right, because it has to be worse than being boiled alive?
> Yes, mortal. You need to begin practicing your mental gestures.
I gasped, or atleast I tried, but there was no sound.
> Are you crazy? Why?
> Because you need to get your Mindscape up another level
I gazed at the level, then shook my head. Hadn't they said that would take, months, or years? That was why I had that bloody Ulixer'sin tree, wasn't it?
> And how, pray tell, will that work? I thought that would take forever?
> The pressure will increase the growth
> It's a similar type of thing, and although less effective, it will act as a Causation multiplier, and ...
> Wait, why am I even explaining this! Just do it, mortal!
I blinked and had a sinking feeling.
> And the pain?
> Stop being such a whiny weakling! Yes, it will hurt, but nobody else has had this opportunity in...
> Probably forever? At least not in this bloody backwater piece of shit universe!
I groaned, and my forward motion slowed, almost impossible, as I was already at less than a crawl. The prospect of more pain, not just the physical but the mental, too, was making me shiver. Wasn't there something I could do? Then I thought back to the demon summoning tree. With Rathica here, she should be able to clear out any mental issues killing those brought up, right?
Although deep inside, I knew it probably wouldn't be that easy, I ignored it.
> What about that Ulixer tree? Can't I just kill a few of those demons?
> Don't you dare try and enter here! You'll be stuck!
I hissed, then swallowed back some bile. I'd almost done exactly that a few times already.
> Fine… do whatever you can to make this easier!
> What do you think I've been doing? Get on with it!
I hesitated, the memory of the first time I'd used the painful self-torture technique blooming in my mind. It took me ten more seconds before I finally managed to fool myself enough that it wouldn't be that bad and began forming the first mental gestures.
Pain. Horrendous, sharp, deep, and throbbing. All sorts pierced through my entire being, and I felt Libidi's hand clench around mine like a vice. It was the last thing I registered.
I'd had pain before, but none like this. It was like there was nothing except for being doused in fire, my mind filled with glass before being hit repeatedly by a boxer. My initial reaction was to stop, and I almost did. I barely managed not to, and only because I knew if I quit now, I'd never start again. Ever.
The area around my vision contracted and darkened until my entire world narrowed to a single dot, a small bright white, piercing spot before me.
Time passed, at least that was what I'd later assume. At some point, I felt something seeming to connect to me, and I thought I heard screaming. Then things turned... fuzzy. When the pain finally weakened, and the symbol was somehow, mysteriously finished, it was like waking from a nightmare. Waking into a world of pain.
Est, hold tight! It's not real, try and hold on, don't let him- Rathica's voice was like a whisper in my mind, drowned out by the pain. Still, part of me heard that her voice was drenched in worry, and I knew that was bad.
Get ready! she suddenly shouted, and a trickle of power and warmth came from her.
Wait, what's going to, I tried to ask. Then a shock ran through my system.
Memories returned, pain reaffirmed itself in my mind, and I stopped moving, hands rushing towards my head as a silent scream erupted from me both physically and mentally. Memories of being tormented, tortured by a demonic thing, held inside a cage and slowly eaten, then healed and eaten again. Dozens of horrifying sensations, hundreds while I slowly realized I was somewhere else. In a nightmarish landscape filled with demons. It lasted for long seconds, and I barely heard Rathica's voice come through. She was asking me something, telling me something, screaming something. I couldn't make out anything, as time seemed to stretch long and thin.
A loud, disjointed beep came, and a fuzzy screen appeared before my eyes, overlapping the tiny spot I saw. There was a mass of white text on it, but I couldn't focus on it. All I saw were a yes and a no, and the word stop somewhere, barely readable.
Stop? Yes, I wanted this to stop, I realized with my fractured mind.
I clicked yes, and with a woosh, memories drained away.
The sense of being disemboweled over and over again, the sense of being eaten, all of them slowly vanished. Finally, I lay still, curled in a ball with only the memories of the pain I always felt when performing the mindskills there. Perhaps a bit worse, but I barely noticed. All I knew was that the other memories were gone. All that remained was a general knowledge, like a bad dream. A nightmare of something playing with me. Toying with me!
Est, let them rest! I can't help you deal with them now, so you have to hold on, Rathica said, a beacon of soothing calm and love. I sensed her own continued battle deep below the surface.
What? I asked, my mind seeming to rebel against forming thoughts.
I couldn't stop him, Ux… he, he saw what you did and-
As soon as Rathica said the name, one single clear memory returned. From a millisecond before the pain. A voice from a vertical slit of a mouth nestled between a set of deep blood-red beady eyes.
Now, now. I can't have you interfering with my plans! How about I show you what will happen if you do! And let me etch this in your soul so they can't remove it, the voice said softly, the vicious hate in it so deep I couldn't even fathom it.
With the voice, a memory returned. Tiny, only a sliver, but enough. Memories of being inside someone else's Mindscape, a grotesque demonic thing that made Lark look like a ladybug. As if a plug had been pulled, more memories began returning, pouring into my mind like boiling puss. With them came a sense of time, of many days and weeks passing as he was… as things were…
My mind slowly began to crack as the scent of something sweet yet rancid filled my nose, and a burning sensation came to my eyes.
Enough! Rathica roared. Seriona, help him and hold your end of the bargain!
Rathica's scream momentarily pulled me from the reasserting memories, and I noticed a soft chittering from behind me. Then the lights dimmed.
You have no idea the cost I go through for just this one Prime of yours, a smooth, honey-laced voice said. Something about the voice seemed off, almost bestial, and even more than with Rathica, it seemed to pull me back to reality.
Fear grew rapidly as I tried to formulate questions, then a tiny voice crooned something behind me. My heart rate skyrocketed, and I was about to scream when the memories vanished. For a second time, they drained away as if through a funnel. The images went first, then the sounds, and finally the scent. For a moment, as I felt the memories pour away, I felt only joy. Then I realized where the memories were flowing toward and through. My bottom right hand. The one Libidi was gripping.
Est, don't- Rathica began.
What are you doing? I screamed.
What your Deity asked of me! Save your mind from being permanently destroyed, the honey-smooth voice said. Like her, I'm busy, so there is a cost. Sadly. The cost of one of my precious few.
I shivered, then began turning my head excruciatingly slow. As I did, I noticed something off about my environment. Where at first I'd been so far behind the demons and dozens of feet behind Lark, now things had changed. Lark was nowhere to be seen, and the demons were much closer, as was the silvery shard. I'd moved. I ignored it as I continued to turn my head, and when I got halfway, there was a soft tssk.
Don't look. It will not help you and might even harm your fragile mind. It might interfere with what we are trying to accomplish. What will her sacrifice be worth then?
It wasn't the words but the deep pain in them that made me stop turning, trying to force myself, telling myself I should look. They were funneling all the pain, the hurt to Libidi. How could she possibly deal with those? Not, I knew.
Is there- I stopped as I felt the pain from the being called Seriona.
I sucked in a deep breath as I felt the fingers around my hand release slowly, the clamp-like vice grip gone, the fingers changed as if from jello. I clamped down on them, gripping them so Libidi wouldn't float away.
Is there anything I can do? I asked.
Get that shard as fast as you can, Seriona said, her honey-sweet voice now laced with venom. It is the only way to balance the scales in our favor.
Rathica? I asked, wanting to hurry but uncertain.
She is right, Est, Rathica said, her voice a dull moan. As you earthlings so aptly say, the cat's out of the bag.
What? Who is-
No more questions, Est. The thing you just did, do it again. It's the only way to gain on the demons of Ux. With Seriona now at hand, you don't have to-
I didn't even hear what she said after that, as I felt my mind shiver, fear rising so fast I was afraid I'd shit myself. Do it again? Again? After all, what had just happened… wait… what had?
I frowned as I tried to find the cause of my deep fear. I'd... what? I'd used the skill, and it had hurt… and then? Something had happened to Libidi… right! I had to save her!
As my mind ran a hundred miles an hour, a tiny sliver, guarded by what remained of my mangled mindscape barrier, was crying out, telling me not to do it. Then it died down, and I frowned. What had happened to my Mindscape? Wait, that didn't matter. Right, I had to hurry! What was I doing?
I detected rapid communication occuring between Rathica and Seriona, but I didn't catch any of it.
I was about to start again when a tiny, evil, and vile laugh echoed through my mind, and a thought occurred to me. These two didn't know how to save Libidi from whatever… whatever… My mind skipped a beat, then returned to normal. I had to save Libidi from whatever… whatever…
I moaned as I tried to focus, but my thoughts kept returning like a loop. A dull ping came, followed by a message box, and as it appeared, I finally saw the lines of messages behind it.
> Raparion used one karma to evolve: mental purifying bird - male into Melison bird
> Raparion used one karma to sideways evolve: Melison bird - male, into Toxidon
> Raparion requests connection to your mind to offload (#*&*) into the Toxidon
> Yes/No
What the fuck? I thought, staring at the odd symbols. Somehow the mere presence of the popup was doing… something to my mind. Clearing it, as if to let me pick? It had never done that before, had it? The uncertainty only caused me to hesitate for a brief second, and I clicked yes.
An angry howl echoed through the confines of my mind.
Almost instantly, I felt memories I'd not thought of were being rifled through, watched, and weighed. Some I'd long forgotten, and that made me cringe, seemed to be measured, then left alone as if inconsequential. Others that seemed harmless got more attention, and a few were pruned as a gardener would do with a plant. As the sensation spread like a cold fog, it pulled and washed something with it. Some dredge from the bottom of my mind.
Then the thing reached the current time, and like a hunting dog, it dove forward, biting into something, drawing it out as it screamed and rebelled. Slivers of something slimy that reminded me of something I couldn't put my finger on were pulled out. More ferreted out. Rough, painful spots were left behind. Ten seconds went by, twenty, thirty, then it stopped.
A ping echoed clearly through my mind.
> Raparion has ejected a Toxidon from your Mindscape
I felt tranquil. Clean. As if the mental smog of years had been removed. Before I could even begin to appreciate it, an angry growl sounded through my mind.
How did you do that? If you had this ability, why didn't you just- Seriona stopped talking, growling as a wave of fury washed over me.
I didn't do anything, I said. It was my-
It was good that my mind cleared up, as I managed to stop myself from proclaiming I had a Mindscape. I focused on Rathica, trying to speak only to her, something I wasn't sure how to do. At the same time, I sensed Seriona's anger bubbling around my mind, seeming to originate from Libidi.
Can I trust her with that… thing I have? I asked, hoping only Rathica would hear it. There was no response from Seriona, her anger still as strong as before, then Rathica's voice returned.
I want to tell her to suck it up for later, but I'm starting to realize she is more unhinged than I'd thought, Rathica said, her voice halting like she was running a marathon. There is no other choice but let me do it.
A quick burst of information rushed along the edges of my mind. Seriona's anger dulled noticeably, and I took the time they were talking to look around while trying to get to grips with what had happened. I had stopped moving forward, but with the demons ahead of me hadn't regained much of the lead. I began pushing ahead again, and although the pressure seemed the same, it felt… different than before. Easier wasn't the word, but more manageable would cover it. Something tugged on my arm.
Libidi!
My mind went cold, then into overdrive. I didn't even bother to berate myself for how I could have forgotten. I pulled up my messages, ignoring the long lines of worried screams of Par.
> Par, Libidi got contaminated with something just like me! Can you… help? Another bird?
> Bloody fool!
> What are you doing messing with Primal Demons? Your Mindscape is a mess! Do you have any idea how hard it was to keep out of the grasp of that old bastard?
> Par! Focus!
I screamed, not interested in the odd things he was saying.
> What? Why would you even contemplate spending something on her?
> Because she is a friend, because she saved my life, because the shit in her mind is there because of me!
> Now answer me! How do we help her?
> Right, right. I was just asking… mortals, always so quickly agitate
> Well, the only way is to bring her into your Mindscape and another bird
I blinked, a sliver of dread appearing.
> Shit, don't I need to get my Mindscape up to a much higher level?
> No, no. Just one level higher will allow you to temporarily bring her in, long enough for this at least
That didn't match with what I remembered, and I remembered it word for word. But did that matter?
> Okay, how far am I with my growth
> You're in luck! Two more like that will do it
I felt a tendril of fear sliver its way up at the thought, but before it could even start, I squashed it and began forming the pattern. And blinked. The pain was excruciating, yes. Horrible, like having your head squashed in a lemon juicer with the lemon still in it. But... I could handle it. Somehow it was manageable?
Grinding my teeth, I realized I could still sense what was happening around me instead of being incapacitated by the pain. As I finished the gesture, the demons ahead of me blurred closer, details visible now. One was similar to the demonic merman but with a more humanoid face and thick blue scales across most of his body. The other was a cross between a manta ray and a frog, and it wouldn't surprise me if it could fly out of the water. The third and fourth were out of my vision, somewhere to the side.
One more jump like this would bring me in the lead and inside the steel-colored layer.
Comments
Carrarn
I wasn't looking forward to this chapter, as I knew it'd be hard. Add to this I've had corona starting Sunday, with 39c fever (Celsius). I think it came out alright, but it definitely needs some refining during editing. Any feedback is welcome.
