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Irwin's Journey 177: Shared pain
🕑 Added 2023-11-04 14:31:22 +0000 UTC"What?" Irwin whispered, wondering if his ears were playing tricks on him.
He and Daubutim were as far to the back of the cargo hold as they could go, leaning against the wall and whispering to make sure Brinni didn't hear them. Perhaps he'd not heard his friend correctly?
"If you go inside and find portals to shardworlds, come back immediately and remain here while Greldo escorts the kids there and me," Daubutim said, calmly repeating himself.
Irwin shook his head, trying to understand why Daubutim would want to bring the kids along.
"Why?" he finally asked as he looked at Daubutim's profile.
The flickering flame on his hand caused long, chaotically moving shadows across the hold's hull.
"Because you and Greldo can't go into the portals due to your heartcard, but I need cards. If we can find portals to shardworlds beyond this portal they will have been there for a very long time, and the chances of us finding powerful cards will go up," Daubutim said.
Irwin looked at his friend, wondering if there was anything he hadn't read to prepare. He was about to answer when Ambraz wriggled himself free of his pocket.
"One-eye is right," Ambraz whispered as he landed on Irwin's shoulder.
Irwin glared at the Anvil for his poor joke, but Ambraz ignored him.
"It's the reason the wealthy merchants pay a lot of soulshards to be the first into those shardworlds," the Anvil whispered. "
Irwin opened his mouth, about to say that it was too dangerous to bring the kids in there when he realized the ridiculousness of that remark. He and Greldo had been no more than kids when they were tossed into their first real portal, and they had only one card each at the time. Besides, Zender and his sisters would need cards if they wanted to extend their life to even a decade. No, the thing that was actually a problem was that Daubutim could die if he went inside.
"Are you sure we need those cards now?" he finally whispered. "If you get killed, it will seriously hamper what we are trying to do."
Daubutim's eye glazed over, and Irwin wanted to kick himself. He knew full well that it was a bad thing to ask his friend these open-ended questions. Anything that he couldn't answer based on knowledge had the risk that his mind would bog down.
As he watched Daubutim's blue eye glaze over until his friend was staring at him without thought, he knew it did prove a point.
"You are right," he whispered, leaning against the wall and closing his eyes. "We need to get you a card to fix your problem and your eye. The problem is that I also need time to practice if I am to reforge your cards into a heartcard."
Getting no reply, he knew it would be a while before Daubutim's mind managed to struggle out of the deadlock it was in.
Well, I guess that gives me some time to do something else, he thought.
"Do you think the Chaos Whale song could help with reforging cards?" he whispered, turning to Ambraz.
"I've been wondering about that too," Ambraz whispered excitedly. "When we go through that portal, and if it's a safe place, we should take a few hours to experiment on some cards."
Irwin blinked, wondering if that was a safe thing to do. However, after thinking about it a bit, he couldn't come up with a good reason not to. As long as the world was safe and there was no sign of any demons, it should be fine. Besides, as he imagined hammering on a card, guiding it along a path in a useful direction, he felt his excitement grow.
"Yeah, that sounds like a great idea," he said with a grin. "It's been a while, and I'm starting to miss it!"
"You're not the only one," Ambraz said, and Irwin could hear the approval in his voice. "Between the Galadin notes you've learned and the Chaos Whale song, I can't wait to see what we can do!"
Irwin grinned, and he began humming one of the more climactic pieces of the Whale song. Although his voice wasn't as deep as it had been during the storm, the song was still beautiful and soothing.
After a few minutes he noticed a soft, second voice joining in. He opened his eyes, first thinking it was Ambraz, then he froze as he turned to look at Daubutim. His eyes were closed, and his face placid, but he was humming along with Irwin.
He isn't awake, Irwin thought as he inspected his friend. After worrying for a bit, he decided it was unlikely to do any harm. Besides, Daubutim's voice had a deep, sad melody to it that suited the song perfectly. After thinking it over some more, Irwin closed his eyes, lay his head against the hull, and continued humming, eventually singing.
It didn't take him too long to reach a part he didn't remember, and he was about to skip to the next part when he froze. The hair on his arm stood on end, and he turned to Daubutim, who, with his eyes still closed, was humming the bit Irwin hadn't remembered. It was flawless and soothing, and Irwin looked at his friend in surprise.
"Quick, continue," Ambraz whispered.
Irwin blinked stupidly, then nodded. He quickly followed Daubutim, trying his best to remain in harmony. At first, it was difficult, but as he continued, the memories of the night of the storm returned, and slowly, he regained his harmony with Daubutim.
As he did, he lost himself in the song.
Like the first time, he had no idea how long it lasted, but at some point, he found that it was quiet. Both he and Daubutim had stopped singing, though he couldn't recall when. He felt calm and happy, and with a deep, content sigh, he opened his eyes and looked to the side.
Daubutim was looking at him, his one eye clear and sharp as it had been that morning.
"You're back," Irwin hissed as he pushed himself upright. Had Daubutim ever woken up that fast? He couldn't recall. Or perhaps the singing had lasted for a very long time?
Greldo would have come to get us in that case, he thought.
"Yes," Daubutim said slowly. "The song did something to my mind. It almost felt like clearing away the dust on a shelf. When we stopped, I was back, and…"
Irwin was stunned as he saw a tear slowly trickle from Daubutim's eye. He didn't say anything, and Daubutim didn't seem to notice or care. Instead, he was looking at something far away.
"It is the first time that anything managed to clear my mind," he finally said, his voice sharp and cold as it sometimes was. Irwin knew it had to do with his father and how he'd trained Daubutim, though he didn't know the details that led to the changes in speech.
Staring at his friend, he suddenly thought about his own father, a man he'd never met and most likely never would. He had a lingering, deep anger towards him for not being there when he was young; it had always been there. But… would he want to swap places with Daubutim?
No. Mum did a great job on her own, and I'd prefer having no father than one like Daubutim did, he thought. As he thought that, he sensed a tiny bit of tension, something he'd carried for as long as he could recall but usually ignored, unwind.
"Are you alright?" he asked quietly.
"I don't know. I feel fine but at the same time… I am angry," Daubutim said, and Irwin shuddered as he saw an intense fury pass over his friend's face. It lasted only a moment, but it was enough to make him very weary as he asked his next question.
"Why?"
"What if learning singing or music could have fixed me all along," Daubutim said. "What if it was only due to my father's prejudice against music that I had to-"
Daubutim clamped his mouth shut, and Irwin saw the blue eye flicker from dull to a bright clarity infused by anger.
"Endure," Daubutim growled before sucking in deep breaths.
Irwin was about to say something when Daubutim started humming a part of the Chaos Whale song. He held his tongue and quietly waited for his friend to deal with whatever was happening in his head.
After a short while, the intense fury on Daubutim's face faded, and shortly after, he stopped humming. His eye opened, again clear and free of anger, and he looked at Irwin.
"My apologies. I shouldn't have reacted as strongly," he said in his sharp, cold voice.
"No," Irwin said, shaking his head. Before he could stop himself, he poked Daubutim in the chest, pushing Daubutim back slightly.
"You are wrong to apologize. I am your friend!" he said, punctuating each word. "If it helps to vent, then just vent. Why don't you tell me about your father? It might help."
Daubutim quietly looked at him, and Irwin just stared back. He knew he wasn't that good with words, but he definitely meant what he'd said. Besides, he only had a few friends that he trusted with his life, and Daubutim was one of them.
Daubutim leaned against the wall and stared at the opposite wall.
"A year after I was infected by the demon blood, my father had another of the sorcerers come to investigate me. By then, every doctor, hedgewitch, carded healer, and interested party had been to our home to try and cure me. All to no avail. The sorcerer listened to my father for a while and seemed to think what had been attempted till then silly and useless. He finally spoke to my father and said, 'The boy was handled too softly. Leave him with me for a month, and I'll return him in peak condition."
Irwin swallowed as Daubutim's voice turned to a higher, nasal voice as he narrated word for word what the sorcerer had said many years ago.
"My father had heard good things about this sorcerer, so he paid him and sent me with him. I was seven at the time, and for the next few weeks, I was subjected to everything the sorcerer could come up with. He never resorted to real torture, but from what I learned later, he came close on many occasions," Daubutim said emotionlessly.
As he fell quiet for a moment, Irwin licked his suddenly dry lips. Part of him wanted to know what the sorcerer had done, but he couldn't bring himself to ask.
"A week before the allotted deadline, Dianor, my elder brother, came to check on me. He witnessed part of the cure the sorcerer was putting me through and ran back to Father."
Irwin leaned forward. Was this why Daubutim still respected him? Had his father-
"Father told Dianor to forget about it and let the sorcerer attempt his cure. He said that if it cured me, the ends would justify the means. A week later, I was returned, uncured, and bedridden for another two months. Dianor came to visit me one night and told me what had happened. I still don't know why he told it to me. After that, my father never bothered with me again. Only when he found out about my memory did he show me a modicum of interest."
"Your father is a-" Irwin closed his mouth with an angry snap.
He crossed his arms over his chest, and fingers dug into his biceps as he struggled to maintain a semblance of calm. He wanted to curse the man, tell Daubutim his father was an evil, vile piece of work that deserved anything the demons might have done to him… But he held back. He knew that his friend, despite everything that had happened, thought highly of his father. It wouldn't help to upset him even more then he already was.
However, as the words rang through his mind, he decided one thing. If Daubutim's father was still alive, and if he would ever meet him, he would take the man along to a quiet place and explain just how he felt about the way he had raised his children.
Daubutim sighed, and he held out his hand. There was a flash of light, and a moment later, a dark blue raven appeared on his hand. With eyes as blue as ice, it looked around before focusing on Daubutim.
A soft caw came from the raven, and Daubutim frowned.
"My father's original summon was a raven that strongly resembles Twyl, and each time I thought about summoning her, I felt a deep, burning anger," he said, staring at the dark blue raven.
Irwin didn't speak but stared at the raven. He couldn't recall having seen it before, but as he inspected it, he knew that it was both ice and water-attuned and would make a great addition to Daubutim's future heart card.
"I always wondered why, but I think I know now," Daubutim said as he stroked the raven's head. "I hate my father."
Irwin blinked at the utter coldness of Daubutim's voice. He knew he had to say something now, but he also knew there was barely anything he could say that would help. The best he could hope for was that saying something would be better than being silent. After struggling to come up with something, he just began.
"I don't think anyone would find any fault with that," he whispered as he saw Daubutim turn his single-eyed cold stare from the raven to him.
"From everything you have told me of your father, he seems like a competent leader, a great warrior, and a terrible father."
Daubutim stilled, then he leaned his head back and let out a booming laughter. It only lasted for a short while, but when he stopped, he was still grinning.
"Do you know the worst thing?" he said, shaking his head and continuing before Irwin could ask what he meant. "Father would both agree with that and seen it as a compliment!"
Irwin snorted. "Then he needs someone to beat some sense into him," he snapped without thinking.
Daubutim's face froze, and then he straightened, his chin going up as an icy fire lit up in his single eye. "Yes. I think you are right," he whispered.
They were quiet for a bit when a third voice whispered from above them.
"Your horrible progenitor aside, can we talk about what just happened with the song for a moment?" Ambraz whispered as he landed back on Irwin's shoulder.
Irwin vaguely recalled that he'd left his perch at some point during the singing. He was glad the other had come, though, because it was probably a good time to change the subject.
"Do you know what happened?" Daubutim asked quietly.
"Not the details, but I can tell you one thing. Whatever happened to you when you were young might have altered your mind in some unusual and troublesome ways, but it also did something very incredible with your soul," Ambraz whispered.
Irwin frowned as he looked at the Anvil who was facing Daubutim.
"You were using Soulforce just now," Ambraz whispered, his voice so low Irwin could barely hear him. "As a handcarded! I have never heard of anything like that, and by all rights, it shouldn't be possible. Do you even understand what you did?"
Irwin stared at Daubutim, who frowned at the anvil, seeming slightly confused.
"Was that why the song helped him?" Irwin asked.
"Most definitely! Daubutim, you were doing something with your Soulforce just now, and if I had to guess, that is what woke you up. I wish you could go and look at your soullake. I'm almost a hundred percent sure that there is a hint or clue to what happened to you there!"
"Can't he just look now?" Irwin asked. "If he can already use Soulforce, perhaps he can do that too?"
Irwin saw Daubutim's single eye focus on Ambraz, burning like blue fire.
"We can try, but it's very unlikely that he could reach it. The only reason anyone can actually perceive their Soullake is because their heartcard is there. It is what draws someone's consciousness into their soul," Ambraz said. "Let me think about it for a few days…. Perhaps I can come up with a way."
Irwin and Daubutim remained leaning against the wall for a few more minutes before Daubutim took a deep breath.
"At least I know of a way to snap out of it, even if I can't start it myself. If you don't mind, I'll join you when you are practicing singing from now on," Daubutim said.
"You can join any time," Irwin said.
"Then let's head out. I want to walk around a bit, perhaps practice my sword," Daubutim said as he moved to the exit of the cargo hold.
Irwin followed him through the door only to stop as a tiny blur rushed Daubutim. He was about to summon a hammer when he saw it was Brinni as she wrapped her short arms around Daubutim's waist, hugging him while crying softly.
Daubutim stood, frozen, then slowly placed a hand on her shoulder. "Don't cry," he said, sounding far more comfortable than Irwin knew he would have been.
Brinni began sobbing louder, and Irwin watched in surprise as Daubutim knelt down and hugged the little girl. "Calm down. Everything is alright."
A slight movement made Irwin look up to find Greldo standing a bit further down the narrow corridor. The other doors were closed, and he saw nobody else.
"I'm afraid the two of you were a bit too loud this time," Greldo said as he glanced at Daubutim and Brinni.
Irwin frowned as he recalled some of the things they had spoken about.
"Did she…?" he asked, looking at the other doors, afraid she might have heard everything and shared it with the others.
"No," Greldo said. "I brought her here before she could tell anyone about what she heard, though Trinn very much didn't like having to leave her sister-"
"No I didn't!" an angry shout came from a door down the hall.
"Luckily, Ib was willing to keep her in her room while we waited for you," Greldo said with a slight grin.
Irwin frowned. Now what? What had Brinni heard? If it was just the things about Daubutim and his father, that should be fine... but what if she'd heard Ambraz? Should they just ignore what had happened and have Brinni promise to keep quiet about what she had heard?
"What did she hear?" he whispered, hoping at least those listening at the door wouldn't hear it.
"Mainly the singing and then the part about his father," Greldo said, giving him a quick reassuring nod and smile.
Irwin felt his worry fade as he saw the 'don't worry' look on Greldo's face.
By Gelwin, that's good news, he thought.
"Alright," he said, wondering what they should do now.
He looked at Daubutim and Brinni and remembered Daubutim's idea to potentially bring the kids with him if there were any portals in the world.
So much trouble, he thought.
They didn't know if the portal was safe to go through, let alone if there was anything useful behind it, like portals to shard worlds! For all he knew, the world was a barren, lifeless, and airless husk!
He quietly looked at Daubutim, who was still soothing Brinni.
He's surprisingly good at this, he thought before deciding it didn't matter what was behind this portal. The chances that they would eventually come across a world that did have portals to shardworlds were there, so they could just as well discuss this now.
"Alright, everyone. I'm sure you're all listening at your door now, so join us in the mess hall. We have a few things to discuss," he said as he took a few long steps and walked into the messhall door.
The doors in the corridor opened in quick succession, and a few moments later, the entire crew was sitting at the kitchen tables. Only Rindiri was not there, as she was still observing the portal.
"Greldo, can you take over for Rindiri? She needs to hear this," Irwin said as everyone was looking at him.
"Sure, if you stop whispering, I'm sure I can listen in from above deck," Greldo said as he walked out of the room.
Daubutim had finally managed to extricate himself from Brinni, who was being hugged by her sister, who was also constantly whispering in her ear excitedly.
"Trinn, it's best you don't ask her to tell you everything she heard," Irwin said. "Those weren't things she was supposed to hear and aren't her secrets to share."
Trinn jerked up, then looked at him guiltily.
"I won't tell her," Brinni said, looking at Irwin sternly, eyes red and her usually demure self nowhere to be seen. "I don't snitch!"
Bendi snickered while Irwin couldn't hold back a smile.
"Good to know," he said just as Rindiri walked into the kitchen.
"What happened?" she asked, looking at her children as if ready to scold them for something.
"Nothing that we need to discuss right now," Irwin said. "However, there are a few things I want to share with you if we decide to enter the portal."
Comments
Carrarn
Fixed, thanks!
Stephen Pearson
You did a great job with it though! And thanks for the chapter:-)
TWW
Daubtim -> Daubutim
Carrarn
5e NaNo 2023 chapter. Current word count for today : 2277. Not a lot, but I'm still writing. This chapter took me far longer because these scene's are things I'm not as good at so I'm always second guessing myself.
