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Irwin's Journey 208: Clearing the plains

🕑 Added 2023-12-22 19:24:02 +0000 UTC

Comments

Lukas

Moira took a quick look at the tent area, noticing the Crais stomp around, glaring and cursing. > unless Crais is a title there shouldnt be a the before it Greldo grinned evilly as she looked behind him at the cluster of Nyzir chasing after him. > It should be Greldo ... as he looked behind him (not she) A single, large trail was off the side of the main group, and he knew it, too, was holding back. > This sentence confused me. What was holding back? Did you mean to show how there could be higher ranked portals somewhere along that path, but why would it be holding back? I think it just needs to be cleared up a little bit a thin, silvery sword appeared in his hand, which jabbed straight at he approaching, invisible Nyzir. > the approaching invisible Nyzir "Basil! It's clear!" he roared twice > "Basil, it's clear!" he roared. you can do that or just remove the twice; it makes it read strange (imo)

Stephen Pearson

Thanks for the chapter! :-)

ben thomas

I just got a bad feeling about Indoubtor. What are the chances that he has made a deal with someone to capture Irwin. Either the noble from the smithing guild who was hovering up all the high rank smiths or the people behind the goblins kidnapping people. If I am right I hope it doesn’t succeed. I am looking forward to Irwin going to see his children and gf.


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