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Irwin's Journey 209: Switching sides

🕑 Added 2023-12-23 19:31:57 +0000 UTC

Comments

Lukas

If you come now, I promise I won't harm you, Lamia, or any of the others." > If you come out He hadn't run away but done a short-range teleport, barely a hundred feet, but enough to get him away. > He hadn't ran away ... but enough to escape his pursuers (you used away twice in the sentence not anything bad but just sounds repetitive) "Steam!" Ambraz shouted at the same time > Ambraz shouted just as he had the thought. B/c Irwin didnt actually say anything but thought it, it reads weird. It reads like both of them shout it but its your choice whether to do it or not

A B

blood bastard -> bloody bastard other's are -> others are said."  I'd -> said. "I'd dropped some -> dropped something

Steven Thompsen

Me either I sounds familiar tho

Stephen Pearson

Thanks for the chapter! :-)

travis pancake

I do not recall who tomeron is at the moment but this is interesting


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