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Irwin's Journey 400: No sleeping in
🕑 Added 2025-03-22 21:04:05 +0000 UTC"Heatmom!"
Scintilla groaned as she rolled over, almost wanting to push some sand in her ears. Couldn't they just let her sleep for-
"Mom, heatmom! You have to see what Mia and Flux did!"
Of course I do, Scintilla thought as the door to her private room was shoved open.
A pitter-patter of feet raced to her stone bed as Zan and Soot sprinted inside, the latter jumping up and down as he ran, which made him look like the Hazy Rabbits from back home. Just as she cracked open an eye, Zan jumped on top of her, cuddling into her arms and almost purring.
"Heatmom, it was really crazy," Soot said, his arms flailing around. "They managed to run over the edge of the entire sail, jumped from the side, slid down, and landed on the rail! In one go!"
Before Scintilla's mind could fully comprehend what she'd heard, Zan whispered in her ear.
"Soot tried to, but he almost fell down, and Glow did it, then left."
Scintilla's hair stood on end, and she closed her eyes, trying not to imagine one or more of her children falling from The Concerto and into the storm below. She'd told them to stop doing dangerous things for months now, but the trip was just too long. It was a surprise it hadn't happened before.
Irwin, please head back as soon as you can, she thought, pushing herself upright, holding Zan in her arms. Otherwise, I'll be crazy, or one of them dead!
She shivered at her own mind's poor attempt at an inward joke.
"Mom?!" Soot shouted.
"Alright, I'm coming," she said, dropping Zan to her feet. The girl looked at her in dismay, making as if to be picked up again.
"You can walk. You are way too big for me to carry you around."
Zan's lower lips trembled, but when Scintilla merely raised an eyebrow, it stopped, and she rolled her eyes in a way that Scintilla knew she herself did when she was annoyed.
Tiscian would laugh till she cried if she saw this, Scintilla thought, thinking about her own heatmother for a moment.
She was reminded of reality when Soot's patience ran thin, and he began pulling her hand.
Scintilla dug her heels into the deck. It was a good thing Irwin had helped her get her first hearcard, or she'd have been pulled from her feet by the boy. Although they all looked like six or seven-year-olds, the cards Irwin had gifted them made them both strong and agile beyond their years. As it was, she didn't budge and raised her eyebrow.
"Sootahr, what did we discuss?"
The little boy rolled his eyes at the use of his full name but relented. "I won't pull heatmother around," he piped.
"Exactly," she said, smiling at her tiny rebellious son..
Soot stopped pulling, and Scintilla followed him out of the room, with Zan calmly holding her other hand. She sighed, reaching out and rubbing the little Ignitzian's hair.
"Where are the others?" she asked, smiling at her daughter.
"Ti is talking with Boohm about his times as a merchant, and Ihrana and Zender are watching what Mia and Flux are doing," Zan piped.
They still won't use their full names, Scintilla thought, wondering if she should put more effort into it.
"And Gallowil?" she asked.
Zan's smile turned proud. "He's practicing down in the hull with a few of the blademaidens!"
Of course he is, Scintilla thought, feeling a stab of worry for her adopted son.
During the first six months of their journey, the kids still somehow hoped that Irwin would mysteriously catch up with them. But as time passed, they had started to slowly understand it wasn't going to happen. Each had dealt with it in another way.
Soot had begun sneaking around, trying to, as he said it, 'find the secretes dad left'. Somehow, he'd decided in his head that Irwin had left things for them to find, and he had decided to find them all. As crazy as it sounded, he was one of those she worried least over. She just hoped he'd not decide there was a secret on the bottom of the hull…
Ti had begun talking with everyone, asking them questions about things. Her interests rapidly outgrew what someone her age should want to know, and Scintilla had had to have a conversation with the adults in the crew to warn them not to tell her everything she wanted to know. Scintilla wondered if Irwin had somehow captured some of Daubutim's heat to transfer to their little daughter. She knew things didn't work like that with Galadins, but Ti seemed to have only one interest. Learn. And it reminded her of Irwin's stories about his friend.
Zan, if she wasn't hanging around the other kids or cuddling with her, was singing and humming. She also had the tendency to stare out into the storm and, when asked, answered that she was searching for Chaos Whales.
Still, as much as she worried about those three of her children, the other three were the ones that kept her up at night.
Flux, Mia, and Glow hounded the ship as they tried to find things to do. After just a month in the journey, all three had begun increasing their training with Scintilla and the blademaidens, but even that didn't seem enough to distract them. They kept finding more dangerous things to do, but so far, they had stayed away from the rails of the ship.
I should have known, she thought, smiling ruefully as she thought about her own antics when she was this old.
As she reached the deck, she was just in time to see Miamore and Halflux sprint across the ship's railing, jump to the edge of the sail, and climb up in a way she knew she couldn't copy.
I'm going to die from worry at some point, she thought as images of both falling down and splattering on the deck or over the railing played through her mind.
She was about to run forward to stop them when a deep, rumbling voice stopped her.
"Don't worry, I'm paying attention."
Scintilla glanced back at the massive Ganvil on the deck behind her.
"Thank you, Nim'dor," she said, smiling at the Ganvil with a large measure of relief. The Ganvil had gotten incredibly interested in the antics of her children and had already saved them from a few broken bones.
"Heatmom! Look!"
Scintilla looked up just in time to see Flux reach the top of the sail and do a handstand before sliding down the other side, screaming with laughter. He seemed to have no realization of the fact that he might slide down into the storm below.
Scintilla rushed forward, but it wasn't needed. A silver line cracked through the air, wrapped around the little boy, and yanked him back on deck. Zender was looking at Flux as he landed on the deck before him. He bounced twice, then stopped and laughed in his high-pitched child's voice. Zender shook his head, and Scintilla had the idea that he was about to say something. However, what she assumed would have been scolding was cut short.
"Now me!" Mia shouted, jumping down and sliding down the sail, screaming in delight.
Scintilla groaned, preparing herself to move if she had to, but it wasn't necessary. As Mia reached the edge, Zender moved like a blur, his whip stretching out to entangle her and yank her onto the deck.
Scintilla was about to tell them how dangerous that had been when Flux and Mia ran up to her with glittering eyes.
"Heatmom, heatmom! Did you see?"
"Gliding down was so much fun!"
"Can you do that? Try!"
Scintilla held back a groan, and when she saw Zender and Ihrana grin at her, her eyes narrowed as she had an idea. Looking at her two balls of energy, she smiled.
"Yes, I saw, and no, I can't do that. Also… I don't want you two to do this again-" two faces turned sad, but she continued. "-instead, why don't you ask Zender to use his whip as a swing again?"
Mia's eyes widened, and Flux jumped a foot in the air.
"Yes," he said, turning to Mia. "Let's get Glow!"
The two turned and sprinted away while Zender grimaced, shaking his head.
"Why don't you two go and see if Ti wants to join," Scintilla said, looking at Soot and Zan.
The two nodded, though Soot snorted when Zan grabbed his hand. Still, he let her hold it as they sprinted away.
Scintilla walked toward Zender and Ihrana, noticing how the two of them seemed almost glued together. She felt a stab, wishing Irwin was here, then shoved it down.
"I thought I asked you two to make sure they wouldn't do anything too dangerous?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.
Zender looked at her, the corners of his lips quirking up. "Between me and Nim'dor there's no way they would have gotten hurt," he said. "Besides, sail gliding is a very useful pastime on a ship!"
If that's true, why didn't you mention it in the last half year? Scintilla thought, but she didn't say anything.
Instead, she looked at the helm, where Earilla was smiling at her. Two of her Faerits sat on her shoulders.
"I had it under control," she said, her voice carrying towards them. "A few of my friends were ready to get them if all else failed."
"Good," Scintilla said, raising an eyebrow. "Still, please don't let them do these things, or I'll make you two the ones who will take care of them when we get home."
The word home caused Earilla's eyes to snap ahead, and Scintilla sighed as she walked toward the younger woman. Unlike Zender, her cards didn't change her physique as much, and except for the kids, she was the smallest on the ship. She was also the one with the biggest burden.
"Are we still on course?" Scintilla asked, putting her hand on Earilla's shoulder.
Earilla nodded. "We are."
"No change in the duration?" Scintilla asked, hopefully.
"A bit over a year left," Earilla sighed. "We are already going faster than anyone likely has crossed the branch. No need for food or to keep to all of the Portal Corridors is allowing us to do it in less than half the time to get here."
"Good, let me know if anything changes," Scintilla said as he heard her children run back on deck.
How am I going to keep them entertained for another year? she worried.
--
Time passed at a slow and steady pace as the Concerto continued its rush back to the other side of the branch.
Soon, another ten months had passed, but as Scintilla looked at Earilla, she knew their safe trip might have just come to an end.
"It's odd," Earila said, staring ahead. "My Fearet are telling me there's danger all around, but they can't explain why, and I can't sense anything."
Scintilla frowned as she looked around the storm. Earilla's Faerit seemed to have an uncanny knack for keeping them out of trouble, not unlike Greldo's hound, but unlike Coal, they weren't able to give any details. Over the last month, they had changed course multiple times already, and although they were moving roughly in the right direction, they had already added a few weeks to their journey.
Worse. They had no idea what was causing Earila's Faerit to be as anxious as they were.
"Nim'dor?" she asked, looking at the powerful Ganvil.
"I don't sense anything different. No odd movements or energy fluctuations."
Great, Scintilla thought as she clenched her hands.
"Alright, and they are telling you it's getting worse?"
Earilla nodded, biting her lower lip.
"Before, it was a distant sense that we kept moving away from or around. Now, it's… They feel like there's something all around us, and it has somehow circled around. The only somewhat safe path seems to be forward."
Scintilla took a deep breath, then nodded. "Keep going," she said, turning to look at Zender. "Warn Lamia, Helm, and the blademaidens. They need to get up here."
Zender dashed away. Two steps in, his whip shot through the air like a silvery lightning bolt, only for him to appear at its end. A moment later, he vanished down into the ship, the cracking of his whip sounding out as he rushed forward.
"Heatmom, what is wrong?"
Scintilla looked up to see Mia, Glow, and Flux hanging above her.
"Get down from there," she said.
Something in her voice must have been different from her usual complaints as all three dropped down instantly, moving toward her with wide eyes.
--
"Soot, you are crazy," Zan whispered. "You know there's no way Dad left anything at the top of the sail! We've been there thousands of times by now. Besides, Zender was Whipping through the ship just now. Let's go and see what he was doing?"
"We can do that too, but I really think there's something up there! We just didn't take a good enough look," the Soot whispered back conspiratorily. "I'm sure of it! There's only a few-"
A scream from above deck shut both of them up, and Zan stepped next to Soot, clasping his hand, eyes wide and terrified.
"That was Mia…"
"It's fine," Sooth whispered, his eyes wide as he looked up at the ceiling of the cabin. "Flux probably just jump scared her."
They were still hesitating when the sound of running footsteps came from the stairs. They closed in on where they were, and a moment later, Glow appeared at the door of the cabin they had been using as their no-so-secret-secret hideout.
"Glow?" Soot whispered.
Glow looked at them, and he hesitated.
"Glow?" Soot asked, suddenly worried.
"Heatmom said not to come on deck…" Glow said slowly, his gaze locking onto Zan. He hesitated, then frowned as if struggling with something. "Keep Zan here," he finally said, turning around and sprinting away.
Keep Zan here? Soot thought as he looked at Zan, whose eyes had widened.
"Soot?" she whispered.
That means I will miss it… Soot thought, not knowing what it was but knowing it had to be interesting. He sniffed in annoyance that Glow hadn't just stayed here. He already seemed to know what was happening.
"Let's just stay here till they tell us what happened," he said, feeling annoyed.
"But you want to look?"
"Yes," Soot said without hesitation. "But Heatmom is still angry with me for digger through her bed to find the secret Dad left on the bottom. So it's best we stay here."
"Thank you," Zan whispered.
Sooth shrugged, though he felt a bit of pride. Flux, Mia, and Glow might be good at a lot of things, but when Ti was on one of her information-gathering missions, Zan always came to him.
Still, I wonder what caused Mia to scream like that, he wondered.
Neither of them noticed the tiny Faeret that was crouched in a corner behind a crate.
--
Glow shot up the stairs and onto the deck. Scintilla was crouched at the railing, hugging Mia, while Lux stood between two of the blademaidens. Ahead of them, within the storm, an enormous shape slowly floated past. Covered in deep scars and blood, half of the Chaos Whale's head had been blown up, and he felt a slight sense of nausea as he scanned the long, winding wounds.
"Glow?"
Glow looked at Heatmother and nodded. "I found them. Soot will keep her below deck."
“Good,” Scintilla said. "Are you alright?"
Soot nodded, turning his attention to the storm.
"I'm fine," he lied, holding back his anger.
How could someone or something do this to Chaos Whales? They didn't harm anyone, were so nice, and could sing so well! Was this why Heatmom had been so worried earlier?
If Dad were here, he'd find who did this and make them pay, he thought.
As the ship continued ahead slowly, they passed another four corpses.
What could have done this? Glow thought, frowning. He could hear Mia sniffle softly, and he was glad he'd found Zan. If their sister had seen this, she would have had nightmares for months. He shivered as he saw a ragged wound carved through the side of an enormous Chaos Whale head.
I'll probably have nightmares, he knew, shivering and wishing his father was there.
"You okay?"
Glow jolted as Boohm's voice came from behind him. He turned around, looking at the tall, ball Onyxian with the pale cloth bandage around his eyes.
How does he sneak up on me like that, he thought.
"I'm fine," Glow said, turning back to the railing. "Did they-"
"Tell me what's out there?" Boohm said. "Sadly, yes. How many so far?"
Glow looked around, counting those he saw.
"Seven, I think," he said, his hands on the railing too small to wrap around it.
He jolted again as Boohm knelt beside him, putting an arm around him.
"Don't worry, Sootahr. Life is like this," Boohm rumbled.
Soot nodded but barely listened, not even reacting to the use of his full name.
Did something just move?
He stared at one of the carcasses, trying to see what had just moved. Perhaps one of the Chaos Whales was still alive?
A thick tentacle lazily pierced through a thunderous storm cloud. As thick as a tree, it wrapped around one of the Chaols Whale carcasses and just as soundlessly pulled it back into the storm.
"Sootahr… whats the matter?" Boohm asked in an uncharacteristically soft whisper.
“O… Ocu… Oculithar," Soot stuttered.
Boohm rose, carrying him up and hugging him while his voice boomed out together with that of Nim'dor.
"Dahlia!"
"On my way," a muted shout came from below.
Glow struggled to get free from Boohm's embrace.
"I have to stop Zan," he said, worried how his sister would react if she came above deck.
Boohm dropped to his knees and let him go. "Go," he said. "And stay with her and Soot!"
Glow nodded as she sprinted across the deck to the door that led down into the ship. Dahlia exited as he reached it, almost barrelling over him.
"Look out! Glow, go below decks," she shouted, dodging around him before running away.
Glow was about to go inside when Helm barged out.
The older Fiz'rin calmly looked around.
"Glow?"
"There are Chaos Whale bodies and an Oculithar," Glow said, looking up at the man who, in many ways, resembled his father. Almost as big, with a skin that gleamed like metal, and a calm personality. He also knew great stories about Igniz.
"I'm going to Zan and Soot," he said, dodging around the massive man.
He thought he heard Helm say something, but then he was rushing down the stairs.
--
Dahlia reached the deck just as her bonded Ganvil, Juul'rish, appeared from her soulscape. The tiny silver Ganvil landed on her shoulder as they moved to stand beside Nim'dor.
"Is it attacking us?" she asked, looking around and trying to remain calm. She felt disgusted as she looked at the mutilated carcasses, but there was no sign of the Ocuilthar. Still, one looked around at the others and told her it had to be out there.
Damnit!It had been such a calm trip until now. Why did they have to run into-
A tentacle flailed from the dark storm that surrounded them, illuminated by a burst of lightning that crackled sideways through the swirling cloud. It wrapped around a heavily mangled Chaos Whale body that was as big as The Concerto, dragging it away.
"Why are we flying so slow?" she asked, looking at the steeringwheel.
Earilla stood there, her head flicking from side to side as her silver eyes examined their surroundings. She didn't answer, but two of her Faeret were perched on her shoulders, pressed tightly against her neck.
"Earila's Feareit says we are surrounded," Nim'dor rumbled.
What? But we made all those course changes so we could evade whatever was out there… right? Dahlia thought, looking around. "By what? Multiple Oculithar?"
"Just one…"
Dahlia grimaced. "Juul, let's get ready."
Juul'rish soundlessly flew from her shoulder and landed on the ground, changing into her large, working shape.
Dahlia grabbed a few cards from her pocket, always ready just in case, and tossed the top one on Juul'rih before waiting. If she began now, that would definitely draw attention, and Nim'dor should be fine for a few moments.
A quick look around showed the dozens of Blademaidens spread out, blades drawn, while Helm stood with his arms crossed in the middle like a giant, calm rock. Scintilla was with three of her children, who were staring into the clouds with eyes wide with fear and horror.
As the Concerto floated forward, Dahlia watched another few Chaos Whale bodies appear in view, smaller than the others.
She heard Scintilla whisper something to Mia and Flux, who nodded, turned around, and ran to the door, disappearing into the ship.
"There's a barrier up ahead," Nim'dor said. "It's incredibly weak, and I think…"
He fell quiet as a shuddering, pale, barely visible barrier appeared ahead of them.
"It's the only place that seems safe," Earilla said. "What do we do?"
"Go in," Scintilla said as she looked at the surrounding blademaidens. "Prepare for battle."
Dahlia began preparing herself. The best she could do was keep the barrier up.
As she began reasoning her cards, the Concerto floated through the barrier into a suddenly calm pocket of space.
It was barely half a mile across, and dozens of Chaos Whales, most much smaller than their ship, were flying around a distant, bright portal that hung in the middle of the air. Two heavily scared Chaos Whales, larger than the largest Dahlia had seen, lay on the ground, motionless.
For two moments, everyone was frozen as the storm's constant, far too familiar roar abated to a distant rumble, and they heard the sad, deep singing of the Chaos Whales. Then, the calm was shattered as crackling lightning rippled across the barrier around them. Massive tentacles wrapped around it, and innumerable pale eyes hovered behind the tentacles as an Oculithar tried to spy inside.
"..."
"Can someone tell me what is going on?" Boohm rumbled, his voice breaking the stunned and worried silence.
Everyone began talking at once until Scintilla shouted for quiet.
"We are inside a portal barrier with a barrier so weak that it has so little glow we didn't see it in time," she said, looking around. "There's an Oculithar around it, and dozens of small Chaos Whales are flying around a portal that… I think it is new? Or weak?"
"Weak," Nim'dor calmly agreed. "It is rank one, and the pressure from it is barely able to hold this barrier up against the storm, let alone the Oculithar. We have about an hour or two before it is going to shatter."
"Great. Then we need to get out of here," Boohm said.
Everyone turned to Earilla, who was looking around, a deep frown on her face. As the Concerto flew further into the calm pocket, it slowed to a stop.
"I…" Earilla shook her head and frowned again, looking around, then at her Faerit, before turning to the others.
"The only way is that way," she said, pointing at the other side of the barrier. "But it's not really safe… just less dangerous?"
Everyone watched the spot she pointed at, and the tentacles wrapped around that area of the portal gallery barrier.
"If we go there, can they sense how long till we reach a safer area?" Scintilla asked.
Earilla was quiet for another few seconds before frowning at her Faerets.
"They say it's like a thin corridor that swirls through space. If we can follow it, it should be safe beyond."
"How far from our goal is it?" Helm asked, his deep voice sounding as calm as ever.
Earila's eyes narrowed, then she pointed at spoke of the steering wheel. "If this is where we have to," she said before moving her hand further away. "And we are here. We need to move like this."
She moved her finger to the side, then around, and then back to the spoke on the steering wheel.
"So, it's a detour," Helm said. "How much time will it cost?"
"Months," Earila said with a grimace.
Everyone was quiet again. Then Scintilla let out a weary sigh.
"There's no other option," she said, glancing at Earilla, who shrugged, then nodded.
"Fine. Let's head out."
"What about the Chaos Whale babies?!" a scared voice piped from the doorway.
Everyone turned to see Zan standing at the door opening, the other kids slowly moving out beside her and looking worried.
"I told you to go below deck," Scintilla said, but she sounded more weary than angry.
"We need to take them with us!" Zan said, her eyes showing more defiance than fear. "They are alone and afraid!"
"Little flame, even if we could get them to follow us," Scintilla said as she walked to her children. "The Oculithar is hunting them. If we take them along, it will mean it will follow us."
"But aren't we faster?" Zan asked, turning to stare at the large group of Chaos Whales. "If they follow us, we can run home. Dad said they killed an Oculithar!"
Scintilla grimaced.
"It was a very small one," Zender said, walking forward. "This one is way too big."
"So we are just going to leave them to die?" Zan asked, her voice cracking as tears flowed down her face.
The adults shared a look, and Scintilla sighed as she looked at Earilla.
"Set course," she ordered, turning to Dahlia. "Prepare to boost the shield, but only do so if you have to. We have no idea if it will draw the Oculithar's attention."
"Not, it's not fair," Zan cried, running to the side of the deck, shrugging off the efforts of her siblings to stop her. She gripped the sides of the deck, took a deep breath, and let out a high, sad cry that seemed to pierce all other sounds radiating out.
Scintilla teleported forward, appearing beside her daughter.
"Zan, we can't bring them," she began, only for a deep, sad cry to drown out her voice.
She stared up, seeing the Chaos Whales flying, turning from their circling, and slowly flying towards them.
Oh no…
Zan wiped her face with her hand. "They are coming with us," she said.
Scintilla looked at her daughter, not sure if she scolded her or not. Then she looked up at the Chaos Whales, and she knew it wouldn't matter if she did.
"Nim'dor, if that Oculithar starts attacking us, how long can the shield hold?"
"It depends on how much soulforce Dahlia can put out," the Ganvil said.
Scintilla shook her head, looking at the female smith.
"Let's hope it doesn't see us, but prepare for the worst," she said.
As she spoke, a crack echoed through the calm area, and they saw a long rip run through the barrier.
"Earilla, get us out of here," she said, turning to Zan. "Go down with the others and stay in your room," she said, trying to hide her annoyance. She'd have to have words with her daughter later, but now they had other priorities.
Zan wiped her face again before she ran to her siblings. Ti instantly wrapped her in an embrace, and a moment later, they headed down.
Scintilla turned to Boohm.
"Can you stay with them?"
"Sure," the Onyxian rumbled as he walked toward the door, using his hand to find his way.
Scintilla waited till he was gone before looking around.
"Any other ideas?"
"We can hide in the world," Helm said instantly.
"It's a rank one world. The portal will close soon, and that means we will be left there with nobody knowing about it," Nim'dor said. "And that's if we can even survive on it. Rank one worlds are small, highly volatile, and dangerous. In the best case, we find one that is a desert or lava world. In the worst case, we find a world of poisonous rain with only swamps or seas."
"We could try to scare the Chaos Whales away," one of the Igntizians offered.
"By attacking them?" another asked, shaking her head. "If they retaliate, we are doomed. Most are small, but look at those two- they are as big as we are and could crush us."
"Speed sneak through," Zender said. "We just go full speed, no hesitation. If we run into another Oculithar, we hope the shields hold."
Scintilla looked around, listening to another set of half-hearted ideas, before realizing none would offer anything better than what she and Zender were thinking.
"Alright. Everyone get ready. Earilla, go as fast as you can," she said. She looked around, wondering if anyone would second guess her, but nobody did, though Helm glared at the distant tentacles.
The Concerto began speeding up, and Scintilla looked at the large group of Chaos Whales chasing after them.
Maybe they will stop before they move out, she thought before walking to the prow and staring at the incoming barrier. Some of the tentacles were wrapped around it, though only the points, and Earila was changing course slightly, aiming for an area with barely any.
I wish you were here, Hotstuff, she thought.
--
Basil hummed as he held onto the chain that was pierced through the side of one of Scariander's fins, staring into the distance.
"I still don't get where you are taking me, but don't you think it's about time to head back?" he said, using their odd bond to express his desire to head back.
A wave of worry, anger, and stoicism flooded back together with a very clear goal. They were going to help Chaos Whales. Period.
"Right," Basil grunted, looking back at the large amount of nothing behind him.
It's a good thing we were on a scouting mission, he thought, moving back along across Scariander toward the giant bag that was his resting place. Hopping in, he grabbed one of his rations and ate it, wishing he'd brought something better.
"There had better be a good reason for abducting me like this," he rumbled before lying back. "Because flying through this bloody wasteland for months is not my idea of a good time."
Comments
Not Me
So in chapter 346, there's these couple paragraphs at the end where Lasther shows up for a second just to cackle and spook us out. It works fine in a serial format, wouldn't hate it as a last-second scene in a TV show to get us hyped for the next episode. But collected into a book, it's probably something that doesn't need to exist as a separate viewpoint unless this is literally the ending of the whole book.
Not Me
That's a good question, I guess I'll take a look at the factors that I see. One thing we have yet to see is how parenting factors in. Scintilla is the primary parent, but her largest exposure to parenting is probably her mom, whose example she probably wants to diverge from. How she parents her children may be in part a reaction to the way she was brought up - she'll try to be the opposite of whatever parts of her mom she found objectionable, while perhaps unconsciously mimicking the rest of that parenting style when she's not deliberately trying otherwise. If she has any traumas here, she'll probably be imprinting a little of it on her kids. Irwin, on the other hand, probably has a pretty good base in that he understands what an absent father does to a family, and has a good relationship with his own mother. Getting a grandma in the picture would actually be very helpful, if Irwin gives her the strength, speed, and stamina to keep up with his children. Glow seems like a pretty prime candidate to get hit by adoptee shock once he realizes what an adoptee is, but Scintilla seems to have socialized him pretty well, so I don't see that breaking him or anything. He's fairly mature among the group, and was pretty independent even before being coalesced. I wouldn't be surprised if his response to missing a parent for an extended period of time is to become even more independent, perhaps striking out on his own, finding his own friends, making sure that his dad is a smaller share of his world, even if he's still a large part of it. I wouldn't be too surprised if Mia became a bit of a take-without-asking person if she didn't receive enough discipline and/or parental attention from her single parent - perhaps even a cause-trouble-to-recieve-parental-attention kid. There's only so much attention Scintilla has to give and clearly not enough to stop Mia from acting on her impulses. There's ways in which this can be a less than negative trait - someone who takes freely, asks favors of everyone, pushes boundaries, but also is freely willing to donate their resources, time, and effort, and accepts boundary-drawing and pushback without much fuss. A sort of big-friendship person, who asks everything of everyone and is willing to give everything if asked. I could see her developing somewhat sheltered viewpoint of how much things cost, but holding a high value in having personal relationships with people.
Antony Claughton
They already seem to be splitting adventurous versus stay at home, so that is some guidelines. To be honest, other than Zan I get them all a bit mixed up.
Antony Claughton
I don’t really mind segues into other characters. I don’t think for publication they necessarily need to be grouped. However, the cast list from previous chapters would be good. And possibly for publication flesh out some of these bits, or include more segues. After all, would these be the only two chapters on the kids in this entire book?
Eric M
So the fight was 288-289, he finished the spear card in 289, before anyone had slotted the card, Am'braz pointed out that Basil's heartcard was close to shattering due to chanelling all the soulforce the chaos whale provided. If he has a heartcard, he can't be the one to slot the spear, and I swear somewhere in there it should mention who actually got the spear card (but it's been a long-time since I read those chapters, just skimmed thru them now). Likewise, Am'braz does mention it would need to be slotted by someone who had compatible cards, and Basil was lighting, where the spear was fire, and Basil already had a sword card I believe. Your story, you do what you want, but just pointing out the inconsistencies so you can decide if you want to adjust anything. 😁 Found it, it is in Ch 290, the name of the person who got the spear card was Rohmin. I agree Basil was the one who bonded with Scariander though, so perhaps Irwin made him a card that would help him channel the power after the original fight? Maybe that was covered in the section where he fixed Basil's cards, but I don't recall.
Carrarn
Great questions, and thanks for sharing! Although I've got a good idea for how the story will progress, your questions did bring up a few things I need to think about some more. Luckily I'm not going to need it yet - but still, thanks for sharing! Also, one of the great things of having this many children, all with rather different mentalities (well a few are similar, but not all) means I can show different reactions from different view points. So - based on all this- to those reading this, how do you think the different kids, based on the little we have seen so far, should react? I have my own list already, but if you guys / girls put up some good points I might change my mind on some of them and incorporate other options.
Carrarn
That's an interesting bit of advice there- to not have as much fragmentation. Right now only books 1 and 2 are printed, which doesn't even see them to Fiverio yet. That means, most of the real fragmentation wouldn't happen for another few books, probably book 4 earliest. Do you recall some of these 'fragmentations' or sidesteps from other POV where you thought they didn't work for you? (pressed enter to soon there)
Carrarn
Fixed both! :)
Carrarn
Also correct, like said above, it seems I had a bit of a brainfart while writing this chapter - mixed up few things. Fixed it, thanks for pointing it out!!
Carrarn
You are correct, I had a brainfart and mixed up Nim'dor and Hou'dor. However, it defenitly is Basil that has bonded to Scariander. I'll see if I can find the chapters where that happened later.
Not Me
Thanks for the chapter! It's nice to get a look back at how Irwin's kids are developing. Their parent-child relations might be tested, though. He's not been present for most of their infancy, and while he was present for their early childhood, they're now doing a lot of moving around and he's not there to help them through it. Irwin has been a bit absent out of necessity, and perhaps once they become rational adults, his kids will be able to logically process it. But I wouldn't be surprised if it feels like he's abandoned them a bit, like a traveling parent who goes on lots of business trips or military deployments or prison stints or whatnot. And kind of like military kids, they've had to uproot themselves a couple times already - first from Igniz, then from Mudball, then to the Sonata, and presumably are going to do so again to settle down. I wouldn't be surprised in the slightest if the next adaptation causes some sort of strife or at least leaves a mark on them, either making them detach from the idea of ever settling permanently, or cling to the idea of their next home so strongly that they never want to leave, or perhaps even want to go on a pilgrimage to their ancestral homeland. If the Sonata ever gets taken out of commission in a recoverable place, I would not be surprised if the kids wanted to retrieve it and integrate it into their next house. I also find it interesting to see how they're testing boundaries, testing their mother and caretakers, and being general child menaces. How will those behaviors play out in a more settled situation, where the people around them are squishy uncarded and more regular carded children who don't happen to have a high-rank physical boost card? How will they behave around adults who expect more respect and deference (e.g. Trimdir) rather than the long leash that the Sonata's crew is giving them? What happens when they learn they have just as much social power as they do physical power? Irwin being their dad is the ultimate "my dad can beat your dad" on Eluathar, but he also wields a massive amount of social influence. He's a close personal friend of one of the lords (Daubutim), the head of the smithing academy, the individual who personally forged many individuals' best cards or heartcards, and one of probably 3 people on the planet who met Gelwin in person to evacuate the planet. They would effectively be princes and princesses of the new world; Any adult who disciplines Irwin's children too hard will have Irwin to deal with, and the common folk would probably be walking on eggshells to avoid upsetting them. Even if they are ultimately good people, I could see some of them start to become entitled or at least have a bit of a sheltered upbringing, maybe making remarks in the vein of "why didn't your parents just get a better card/kill all the invaders/ask Uncle Greldo to make the problem go away".
Not Me
In a printed version, there should probably be an appendix that has a cast list. I think with these as a 1-chapter-a-week serial, splitting things up works just fine within the flow of the chapter. Since we're waiting a week between some chapters and can't just keep going on, the little check-ins have a lot of room to breathe. But if you're going to print these as a book, there should be less fragmentation - sections that return to other remote characters' viewpoints should be the length of several chapters, not any less than a single chapter and definitely not couple-paragraph stingers. Unless the simultaneous passage of time is an important theme you want to convey, specifically contrasting Irwin's happenings at any given moment with his children's happenings, you can afford to give them more uninterrupted space.
Antony Claughton
Agreed. If they do kill the Occulithar, they’ll need to decide whether to come back for the dead chaos whales’ cards. Very morbid, but those are INCREDIBLY valuable.
Antony Claughton
Soot tried to, but he almost fell down, and Soot did it, then left. ==> rewrite second half? Each had dealt with it in another way. ==> Each had dealt with it in a different way. As she began reasoning her cards ==> something other than reasoning? Sorting, reviewing? daughter, not sure if she scolded her or not ==> daughter, not sure if she should scold her or not Also, when as author you refer to the kids, should you use their full names? It depends where you’re going with that element of the story.
Eric M
Also, wasn't Hou'dor the Ganvil that stayed with Trimdir on Eluathar? And would it be Basil with Scariander, didn't the first fight nearly kill him, and the channelling weapon went to a different warrior so wouldn't that be who teamed with Scariander going forward?
Venson Mascarenhas
One correction: the ship they are travelling in is the Concerto not Sonata.
Eric M
Edit: "Soot tried to, but he almost fell down, and Soot did it, then left." - too many Soots, think one of the other kids was meant for the first or second. Edit: Scintilla's hair stood on end, and she closed her eyes, trying not to imagine one or more of her children falling from The Sonata and into the storm below - the Sonata is gone, they are on the Concerto - the Sonata appears multiple times in the chapter
Nicholas Del Rossi
Really liked this chapter, but hard to keep track of the who’s who’s with how long it’s been sense seeing some of these characters but otherwise great, I feel like our guardian chaos whale and tiny friend are going to do great and Terrible things to that poor many eyed fiend, or at least I hope. The alternative would be a last stand/distraction to hold off big and fiendish and help the ship escape.
Rielgesh
It flows quite well to me. We've seen a quite long stretch of Irwin and Rindiri, so it feels nice to see what's going on with Scintilla and Basil. Having the Basil section gives a nice build that help is on the way and the Sonata only needs to hold out.
Carrarn
True - its supposed to be based on what Irwin told her, but I agree that it does read somewhat odd. I'll give it another go tomorrow. Gotta sleep now :)
Tarrim
Scintilla wondered if Irwin had somehow captured some of Daubutim's heat to transfer to their little daughter. Strange thought IMO since I don't believe they have ever meet.
Carrarn
A quick question - I was not sure if I should split this one up and add some snippets of Irwin's journey, or do so in the next one. For now I went with what felt best and put all of this in one (another 5k btw - so thats already 10k this weekend O_o) - Do you think I should split this up when I edit it in book form, or does this flow well?
