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[RNZO] Ch 249: The Perverted Master Roshi
🕑 Added 2025-05-25 15:07:17 +0000 UTC— — — — — —
"An alien spaceship??"
Bulma's eyes lit up with excitement.
"Yup!"
Dragorr nodded. "That's the spaceship that brought little Goku to Earth!"
"See, he has a tail. What kind of kid has a tail?"
"Huh??? Me?"
Goku blinked, confused, while Bulma looked just as puzzled.
So Goku is... an alien?
Bulma gave Goku a once-over, then nodded thoughtfully. "Well, I guess that's not too weird. I mean, Earth already has talking cats, werewolves, even dinosaurs! So a kid with a tail isn't exactly shocking."
Dragorr laughed helplessly. "Yeah, that alone doesn't prove someone's an alien. But you know me—when I say Goku's an alien, I mean it. We're the only intelligent species here, and the world is full of bizarre creatures."
"That's true!"
Bulma nodded, then looked puzzled again. "But Dragorr, how do you know Goku is an alien?"
"I can see some of the future—remember, I told you that before."
Dragorr casually leaned on the excuse he'd used before.
Future-seeing—truly the ultimate get-out-of-jail-free card.
"Oh, true!"
Bulma believed it instantly.
And honestly, how could she not?
Dragorr had suddenly gained all these ridiculous powers and abilities—it made no scientific sense. What choice did she have but to just roll with it? He even taught her supernatural powers.
"Uh... What's an alien?"
Goku suddenly asked, tilting his head.
"Hmm... how do I put this..."
Dragorr scratched his chin. "Basically... someone not from Earth. You'll understand eventually."
"Anyway, I'm taking this spaceship with me for now. Once I fix it up, I'll give it back to you, Goku. Sound good?"
He figured by the time it was repaired, he'd already reverse-engineered the tech anyway. Giving the original back would just be basic courtesy—plus, Goku would probably find it useful someday.
"Sure! Do whatever you want with it! I don't even know what this thing is for anyway!"
Goku nodded and waved it off, totally unbothered. It wasn't food, and it looked weird—so who cared?
Dragorr then lightly stomped his foot on the ground.
"Earth Style: Moving Earth Core!"
The ground rumbled, and the soil around the spaceship rose up, lifting it gently from the crater. A moment later, it was hovering in front of them.
With a wave of his hand, Dragorr stored the entire ship into his spatial bracelet.
"Huh? Where'd it go?" Goku looked around in confusion.
"I put it away! Alright, let's head out and find Master Roshi!"
With that, Dragorr grabbed the two and flew them back to the hovercar. He jumped into the driver's seat and shot off toward the eastern sea at top speed.
"Aren't we looking for the rest of the Dragon Balls?" Bulma asked, a bit confused.
"Nope!"
Dragorr chuckled and shook his head. "Check the radar. Isn't there one on the eastern sea?"
"Huh? Let me see!"
Bulma blinked, pulled out the Dragon Radar, and nodded as a new blip appeared."Oh! You're right, there is one out there! Wait, how'd you know that?"
"I already checked earlier. You just didn't notice."
"Hang on tight! We're kicking it into high gear! I wanna reach Master Roshi's place by tomorrow morning!"
As he said that, Dragorr accelerated and had Red Queen assist with navigation and speed control.
"Red Queen's amazing! Why didn't I ever think of building a smart assistant like this?"
Bulma was clearly impressed by Dragorr's A.I.
Her family wasn't exactly lacking in tech—after all, Capsule Corp had built plenty of intelligent robots. But no one had ever thought to take it in the direction Dragorr had.
Then again, the world's computer science just wasn't there yet.
Forget quantum computers—even their supercomputers were pretty average.
Sometimes, Dragorr seriously wondered: with how primitive this world's computer tech was, how had everything else managed to advance so far?
— — —
Far off in the East Sea, more than a hundred nautical miles from the mainland, a tiny island stood alone. It was barely big enough to hold a single small house with a red roof.
Outside the house were a few scattered palm trees.
And right now, sprawled out on a lounge chair was an old man with a thick white beard, wearing flashy sunglasses and a gaudy Hawaiian shirt. In his hands was a magazine full of pin-up hot girls, which he was totally enjoying.
"Ohoho... This one's good... This one's real good..."
"Wahahaha... This one too, not bad at all!"
"And this one's nice... real nice..."
The pervy laughter slipped freely from his mouth as his eyes gleamed with glee.
WHOOOSH!!!
Suddenly, a loud whooshing sound echoed across the sea, interrupting his happy daydream. The old man sat up, pushing down his sunglasses to get a better look at what was coming.
"Huh?"
What he saw surprised him—a sleek, high-end flying car, way more advanced and larger than any ordinary one.
And it was flying straight toward his little island.
With no choice, Master Roshi got up from his chair and watched as the car gracefully landed on the shore.
"Yo! Master Roshi!"
Leading the group, Dragorr hopped out of the vehicle and waved casually at the old man.
Yeah, they knew each other.
Back in the day, Dragorr had come to Master Roshi asking to be trained in martial arts. But honestly, the guy was hopeless—zero talent for martial arts.
Even after bribing Roshi with a bunch of cool stuff and getting a few basic lessons, he couldn't make any progress and eventually gave up.
"Oh, it's you, kid!"
Roshi squinted, then his eyes lit up with recognition. But a moment later, he furrowed his brow in confusion.
"Huh? Something's different about you... weird. I can't get a read on your energy at all!"
He gave Dragorr a once-over, then added with a bit of curiosity, "Looks like your body's been totally transformed... is this that 'power of technology' thing you were babbling about before?"
Back when Dragorr gave up on martial arts, he'd told Roshi he was going to pursue strength through science and tech instead.
But did he actually pull it off?
Now Roshi was intrigued.
Of course, something else had already caught his attention—Bulma. The old perv's eyes turned into literal heart shapes as he prepared to make a beeline for her.
But before he could even move, Dragorr vanished and reappeared right behind him, grabbing him by the scruff of the neck like a naughty dog.
In the blink of an eye, Dragorr teleported them both to a nearby island. There, he popped open a capsule and bam!—out came a whole mountain of adult magazines and DVDs.
He looked Roshi dead in the eye. "Bulma's my girlfriend, old man. So keep those wandering hands—and your creepy mouth—to yourself. Don't even talk dirty around her. If you cross the line, I won't just sit back and laugh."
He pointed to the pile. "Here. Consider this your welcome gift. Oh, and I think my martial arts talent's finally awakened, so I'm hoping you'll give me another shot at learning ki."
"Oho?" Roshi raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Didn't expect you to get a girlfriend already. Not bad, not bad!"
"As for training, sure! I'll take you back as a student. And don't worry—I'll behave around your girl."
Then, without waiting for another word, he broke free of Dragorr's grip and dove straight into the pile of magazines and DVDs like a man possessed.
"They all are mine." Drooling like a dog, he squealed, "Mine! All mine!"
He flipped through a few, eyes sparkling with joy. "Ah, you get me, kid. You really get me. Ever since you gave me that last batch, I've been running dry! This stuff's top-tier!"
Dragorr chuckled and shook his head. "Glad you're happy. Go ahead and stash that stuff for now—we've got things to do."
"Oh, right. By the way, we rescued your turtle."
Roshi blinked. "My turtle?"
"Yeah. He somehow wandered deep inland and almost got himself killed more times than I can count. If we hadn't stepped in, he'd be turtle soup by now. Don't you think we deserve a reward or something?"
Roshi narrowed his eyes protectively, clutching his box of treasures. "You're not taking these, are you? I just got them!"
Dragorr rolled his eyes. "Relax, I don't want your magazines."
He pointed at Roshi's neck. "I want that Dragon Ball you're wearing. I need it."
"Also... I brought you a gifted new student. That kid with the tail—yeah, him. You saw him earlier, right? Turns out, he's the grandson of your old disciple, Son Gohan."
"What?" Roshi froze. "Gohan's grandson? That wild little boy? Doesn't really look the part… Wait—you've seen Gohan, then? How's he doing? It's been forever since I last heard from him."
Dragorr's smile faded. "No... I haven't seen Son Gohan. He's gone. Dead."
He sighed. "When I found Goku, he was living all alone in the mountains—like some kind of wild child. Not a soul in sight."
Roshi stood still, stunned. "He's... dead? But with Gohan's talent and strength, that shouldn't be possible."
"He was old, Roshi. He wasn't immortal like you seem to be," Dragorr said, exasperated. "Come on—he was over 70! This world's martial arts can't extend your life, remember?"'
"Even Goku, in the future, ends up dying from something as dumb as heart disease."
"So yeah... it's not that weird."
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