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[RNZO] Ch 263: Absurd LUCK
🕑 Added 2025-06-01 15:53:33 +0000 UTC— — — — — —
"If I'd known being part of the Hero Association made you this much money, I wouldn't have played the whole 'I'm a hero for fun' act!"
Saitama dropped to his knees, crushed by the cold, unforgiving reality of adult life.
He was done being broke. He was so poor it had driven him half mad over the years.
Seriously, have you ever experienced the pain of sweating through a sweltering summer in a cramped apartment with no AC—because you couldn't afford one?
Not even a fan?!
Ever had to patch up your hero costume yourself because you couldn't afford a new one?
Or worse—having to beg that kind old man who supported your hero work to buy you new gear?
You ever get so beat up that you should go to the hospital, but you just suck it up instead because you're too broke?
Or limit yourself to eating nothing but discounted scraps from the supermarket because buying quality meat was a luxury?
Yeah. Saitama had been living that life for years.
Just another day in the brutal, everyday life of the poor.
God knows how badly he wanted to be rich.
And now? He finally found a way to keep being a hero and earn actual money doing it. Of course he was jumping at the opportunity!
At the same time, the regret was eating him alive.
Three years. That was at least 360 million yen he missed out on. Three hundred and sixty million!
No wonder all those heroes he'd seen didn't seem to worry about money. They never had side jobs. They just kept being heroes full-time.
He used to wonder if they were all secretly loaded or something.
Now he knew better.
Turns out, they were just getting paid by the Association. Big-time.
"Alright, listen," Renzo said when he saw how fired up Saitama was.
"The Hero Association HQ is in A-City. If you want to join, you have to pass a test. Of course, what happened with me today was a special case. I took out a powerful monster and caught the Association's attention, so they reached out to me directly."
"Speaking of which—Saitama, you've definitely taken out a bunch of monsters before, right? How come the Association never noticed you? That's… kind of weird."
Of course, Renzo already knew the answer.
It was Saitama's lack of presence—and his rotten luck.
A ton of the monsters he defeated were coincidentally taken down in places where another so-called "hero" just happened to be passing through. That "hero" was King.
And then, also coincidentally, members of the Hero Association were nearby filming or collecting intel. So all those feats were wrongly credited to King.
Oh, and just to sell it even harder? King's heartbeat would rev up when he was nervous and make this terrifying engine-like sound.
Combine that with his intimidating face and aura, and boom—people were convinced he was some top-tier monster-slaying badass.
So, thanks to an absurd chain of coincidences, Saitama's accomplishments got pinned on King, a totally average guy who was really just a cowardly shut-in with a knack for video games.
King was mentally collapsing inside, but no one believed him when he tried to explain the truth. Everyone just thought he was being modest.
Even his plain, average looks got spun into "He's so strong, he's reached a level of total normalcy—surpassing flashiness."
Honestly? That's a weird kind of overpowered skill in itself. His absurd LUCK.
Renzo couldn't help but think this whole situation was completely ridiculous.
Were people in this world just blind? No, it wasn't just humans—even the monsters fell for it.
How the hell had things gotten this off-track?
Still, in a weird way, King's incredible luck and weird heartbeat quirk had carried him this far. That in itself was kind of amazing.
"Maybe I should help him out," Renzo mused to himself. "Train him, help him become the real strongest man on Earth…"
Yeah, that could be fun.
A lot of anime fans back in his previous life had speculated that King's heart must be special. That sound it made probably meant he had some hidden potential—some power that just hadn't been unlocked yet.
It wasn't like King never wanted to get stronger, either.
He even tried to become Bang's disciple once, but got turned away with: "You're stronger than me—don't joke around!"
Yeah… stuff like that happened a lot.
It wasn't that King didn't want to grow stronger—no one was willing to teach him.
Because everyone thought he was already a top-tier badass.
Can you imagine how soul-crushing that must've felt?
Like he was the only sober guy in a room full of drunk people who insisted he was drunk too.
All these thoughts flashed through Renzo's mind in an instant.
Meanwhile, Saitama was still trying to make sense of it all. "Yeah… it doesn't make sense. How could they miss me? Am I… invisible or something? Did the Hero Association just not see me all these years?"
Renzo nearly laughed out loud. Saitama hit the nail on the head.
"Well, whatever! No point in whining about the past now," Saitama muttered, shaking his head. "What I do need to know is—how do I join the Association? How do I get paid?"
He was laser-focused now.
"So, I just go to A-City and take the test, right?"
"Not quite that easy," Renzo said, shaking his head. "They don't run the tests every day. It's usually a once-a-month kind of thing."
Then he turned to the air and said, "Red Queen, check when the last Hero Association test was—and when the next one's scheduled."
"Yes, Master," came the prompt reply.
Red Queen's projection appeared in front of them and said, "The last test was just one day ago. The next one will be in 29 days—almost a full month from now."
Saitama: "...…"
"You've got to be kidding me… So I won't get paid for another whole month?"
He collapsed onto the couch like his soul just left his body.
Why was the universe so cruel to him?
How did he always manage to run into the worst possible luck?
All he wanted was to sign up for the Hero Association… and of course, it just had to be the day after the test.
What were the odds?
This wasn't just bad luck anymore. This was full-on cursed.
Even Renzo couldn't help but look at Saitama with a bit of sympathy.
The guy had endured god-awful luck for years and still stubbornly kept going, eventually becoming one of the strongest beings on the planet. That kind of resilience was something else.
"Maybe when he broke his limiter, he used up all his lifetime luck?" Renzo thought.
Since joining the Hero Association was off the table for now, Saitama had no choice but to let it go temporarily.
So, he stayed at Renzo's villa, living the dream—eating for free, playing video games all night, not a care in the world.
Well, not completely carefree. He still did his hero duties. With Red Queen feeding him alerts, he'd head out to take down monsters or deal with crises in Z-City whenever something popped up.
Renzo even gave him a special communication wristband just for intel support.
Meanwhile, Renzo himself had been busy building a satellite surveillance network.
He literally flew into geostationary orbit like Superman and started deploying a series of powerful satellites—big and flashy, no attempts at secrecy.
Naturally, it didn't go unnoticed. Governments and the Hero Association quickly caught wind of it and reached out.
When they found out Renzo had built his own ultra-advanced surveillance system—way more powerful than the Association's—they were stunned. Then, almost immediately, they asked if he'd be willing to share his intel.
And Renzo agreed. He let Red Queen give them access to a signal port, allowing them to tap into a portion of his real-time data feed on monster activity.
The result?
The Hero Association's efficiency skyrocketed.
Their monster detection, response time, and threat assessment skills improved tenfold, maybe even more. Heroes could finally get ahead of crises instead of reacting too late.
The public and the heroes alike sang praises.
Even Sweet Mask, the famously picky #1, didn't show up to start trouble.
As for Hellish Blizzard?
She'd been too busy lately to even drop by.
— — —
"...Huh? There's a ton of mosquitoes today."
After breakfast, Saitama stretched and glanced at the sky, ready to head out and smack some monsters around for a bit of exercise.
Suddenly, he clapped his hands and fired them at a mosquito buzzing by.
BOOM!!
A deafening explosion rang out beside Renzo. The air seemed to shatter under Saitama's strike.
Renzo, now with his telekinetic shield flickering away, gave Saitama a deadpan look. "Can you not hit so hard? My ears still work, you know."
"And worse—after all that, you still didn't kill the damn mosquito. Isn't that frustrating?"
He pointed at the little pest, still happily buzzing around like nothing happened.
Renzo had just finished calibrating the satellite network and was planning to take a relaxing day off with Saitama.
But after sensing the overwhelming swarm of mosquitoes rampaging twenty kilometers away…
Yeah, that relaxation plan was officially canceled.
Not that Renzo was upset. In fact, he was kind of excited.
Because this meant the House of Evolution arc was finally kicking off.
"What the hell!?"
Saitama stared at the unbothered mosquito still flying around, feeling personally attacked.
"Is this thing taunting me?! You think I can't squash a tiny bug like you!?"
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!!
"You little pest! Let's see you dodge this!"
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