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[RNZO] Ch 276: Tom & Jerry
🕑 Added 2025-06-07 15:08:04 +0000 UTC— — — — — —
Asuma shook his head. "Honestly? Not many tried. Pokémon are insanely valuable—plus, they can be trained using chakra and even evolve into amazing summoning beasts. No one's stupid enough to dissect one just for research."
He paused, then added with a smirk, "Besides, your shadow clone and Orochimaru made sure to rig the genetics. Anyone dumb enough to try ends up getting poisoned during dissection. Gene-locked toxins—instant death."
"Some ninja villages did try it at first, sure. But after losing a bunch of researchers, they gave up. Just wasn't worth it."
Clearly, Renzo's clones and Orochimaru weren't messing around when it came to secrecy.
"I see," Renzo nodded, recalling the memory from his shadow clone. They had planned for this.
In fact, to prevent theft, the clone even embedded Flying Thunder God seals into the Pokémon themselves. If anything shady happened, the Pokémon would be instantly recalled to Konoha.
Only the ones illegally sold off wouldn't have that safeguard.
"Anyway, I've got a mission to handle. I'll swing by again this afternoon—we can catch up more then."
With that, Asuma hopped back onto Charizard's back. He gave Renzo a cheeky pat on the shoulder, grinning. "You might want to start thinking about how you're gonna survive Kurenai and Tsunade's fury though. Good luck!"
Renzo: "..."
Damn it.
Just the thought of facing Kurenai and Tsunade's twelve years of pent-up rage made his scalp go numb.
After a brief internal debate, he decided to head home first.
The next second, he vanished with a flash—teleporting straight back to his house.
. . .
When he arrived, he was greeted by the sight of Uchiha Tom and Senju Jerry already locked in an intense battle in the yard.
"Buiii!" (Wood Style: Deep Forest Creation!)
Jerry wasted no time, launching a barrage of thick tree roots straight toward Uchiha Tom.
But Tom wasn't backing down either. In a flash, his body surged with crackling lightning.
"Pika Pika!" (Lightning Style: Chakra Mode!)
His little claws lit up with blinding blue lightning, emitting a sharp screeching sound—like a flock of birds in chaos.
"Pika...CHUUU!" (Lightning Style: Chidori Current!)
BOOM!
With lightning-infused speed, Tom burst into a flurry of afterimages, his tiny paws slicing through the incoming roots with Chidori-infused precision.
"Oh ho?" Renzo crossed his arms, watching with amusement. "That's not just regular Chidori—that's Chidori Spear. And that speed... it's got to be High-Speed Movement combined with Body Flicker, right? Otherwise, there's no way he's that fast."
"These two were really trained well. And they're... smarter than I expected."
From a nearby rooftop railing, Kakashi appeared with a deeply pained look on his face. "You have no idea how much chaos those two caused when they were first created."
He sighed. "I heard Clan Head Fugaku and Lady Tsunade almost obliterated your clone. They only held back because they were afraid that if they killed it, they wouldn't be able to reach you—and without you, no more Pokémon production."
"And now that you're actually back… even after all these years, you'd better be ready for a storm."
Kakashi sounded like he was joking. But the warning was real.
To be honest, Uchiha Tom had mastered the Chidori series and Lightning Cutter far better than Kakashi himself ever had. And the little guy was strong—absurdly strong like Uchiha Madara.
Even with two Kekkei Genkai and reaching the peak of Kage-level, Kakashi couldn't confidently say he'd win in a fight against him.
And sure, they were going easy now—but that was only because they were self-limiting.
Renzo's clone had once told him: those two Pokémon were created using the genetic templates of Senju Hashirama and Uchiha Madara.
"...They still aren't mad, are they?" Renzo asked nervously. "I mean, I did give their clans two genius-level 'members' at least, didn't I?"
Kakashi chuckled. "Yeah, except the key word here is—they're not people. More like a cat and mouse."
"Ahem!" Renzo coughed awkwardly. That topic needed to change—fast.
"Let's not talk about that anymore! Let's talk about you, huh?"
He gave Kakashi a teasing look. "I mean, Obito and Asuma are both married now. Why are you still single? You planning to grow old alone or what?"
"You do realize you're the last of the Hatake line, right? If you don't get married, the clan ends with you."
It was true. Obito had married Rin. Asuma had settled down with that old crush of his. Heck, they both had kids now.
Kakashi rolled his eye and looked at Renzo like he was an idiot. "And you think you're in any position to lecture me?"
"You disappeared for twelve years! And you're still single too!"
"And let's not forget—more importantly, you left Kurenai and Lady Tsunade hanging for a decade. Tch, do you even know what time means for a woman? You should be worrying about how you're going to survive that."
"Oh, and by the way—word's already spread about you showing up with Asuma earlier. Might Guy has already informed Lady Tsunade and Kurenai that you're back. Heh."
You dared mock my love life? Buddy, your own ass is on the chopping block.
Renzo: "…"
Crap. Wrong topic again!
BOOM!!!
"RENZO!!!"
A loud explosion shook the front gates of the estate, followed by an earth-shattering roar of fury. Renzo's face stiffened instantly.
He instinctively turned to seek help from Kakashi—
Only to find the guy had already disappeared without a trace.
"Damn it! What a disloyal bastard!"
Renzo grumbled bitterly. With no backup, he could only brace himself and walk stiffly toward the front yard like a man headed to the gallows.
Meanwhile, in the courtyard, the uproar had caught the attention of Uchiha Tom and Senju Jerry. The two immediately stopped their sparring session.
Jerry tilted its head, ears twitching. "Bui?" (Was that the mistresses?)
Tom nodded. "Pika pi!" (Yeah. And that was definitely the real Renzo just now.)
Jerry smirked. "Bui!" (He's screwed.)
Tom crossed his arms. "Pika!" (No kidding.)
Jerry looked at Renzo again. "Bui!" (Maybe he'll actually die?)
Tom pulled out a cigarette and lit it with a sigh. "Pikaaaa…" (Yup. That's life.)
Jerry looked a little sad. "Bui!" (He still didn't revive that Harishima and Madara. I hope to kick their asses so they knew were are the real deal.)
Jerry's eyes then widened. "Bui bui bui!" (Oh crap—Renzo's really gonna get flattened this time. the mistresses are serious.)
Tom scratched his head with a sigh. "Pika pi…" (Poor guy. Should've sent a clone to take the hit like any normal ninja.)
Jerry stretched his limbs, then glanced at Tom. "Bui?" (Wanna go watch? Might be better than our sparring match.)
Tom considered it for a second. "Pika!" (Only if we get popcorn.)
"Bui!" (Deal.)
— — —
Thirty minutes later... in the manor's living room.
Renzo sat across from Tsunade and Kurenai, his face a glorious masterpiece of bruises and swelling. He put on his best sheepish smile, not daring to heal the injuries or activate his recovery ability—for fear they'd beat him up all over again.
He had to play it smart. Survive first, explain later.
"You bastard! You finally decided to come back?!" Tsunade slammed the table in rage. "Do you even realize how long it's been?! Twelve years, Renzo! Twelve years! How many decades of youth do you think a woman has!?"
"That's right! Exactly!" Kurenai was on the verge of tears, her eyes reddened as she glared at him with deep resentment. "Do you have any idea how hard it was for us these past twelve years? Do you know how much we missed you?"
Renzo's heart twisted painfully at the sight.
"Oi, oi!" Tsunade shot a sideways glance at Kurenai and barked, "Who missed him? Hmph! This idiot ghosted us after half a confession. I didn't miss him at all!"
Renzo couldn't help but smile inwardly.
Didn't miss me? Then why are you this mad, huh?
Even though their feelings had only just started blooming back then, the long separation hadn't cooled things down—it had only deepened them.
Tsunade knew he was alive. That was the difference.
"Alright, enough," Renzo finally said, letting his body heal instantly as he stood up and walked over to them. He wrapped an arm around each of them, ignoring their flailing fists and weak resistance.
"It's my fault. I know. But from now on, I'll make it up to both of you."
"As for your lost youth? I brought back 300-year lifespan extension serums—and I've developed a new training method that'll keep you looking young for as long as you want. So… will you forgive me?"
"Wait, what? Three hundred years? For real?" x2
Both women froze in shock—then their eyes lit up in pure joy.
Let's be real: no woman would ever complain about staying youthful longer.
"Of course it's real! Have I ever lied to you?" Renzo huffed proudly, then pulled out two small vials and handed one to each of them. "Just inject it. That's all it takes."
Tsunade stared at the vial like it was the most precious treasure in the world. Kurenai was no different.
"Incredible… just one shot and it adds 300 years to your lifespan? This is insane…"
Tsunade's eyes sparkled as she cradled the vial in her hands.
"Hmph. Fine, I guess we'll let you off the hook for now," she said reluctantly. "But seriously—what the hell were you even doing all these years? We asked your shadow clones, but they never told us a damn thing!"
Renzo just smiled mysteriously.
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