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[MF] Ch 12: W Kaito
🕑 Added 2025-10-01 21:06:10 +0000 UTC— — — — — —
Risei Kotomine was confused. Then enlightened. Then horrified. Then leaning back in a tactical retreat.
[+10...]
[Fun Points +10 +10 +10]
By now, the old priest was drenched in sweat.
As a veteran priest, of course he knew the kind of filthy scandals some of his peers got up to. This was the Fate world—supernatural beings existed, yes—but human corruption had always existed too. Darkness and decay weren't rare here, and black-humor "hell jokes" practically wrote themselves.
In the future, what Kaito was describing would be common internet horror stories, widely known. But in this time period? Hardly anyone had heard them.
So Risei never considered that Kaito might just be retelling a joke. He thought Kaito had actually witnessed such things.
And some things, once you know them, are terrifying.
For a split second, Risei even had the mad urge to fly straight to America, track down that priest Kaito spoke of, and silence him—just to wipe the shame off the Church's reputation.
But for now, damage control came first.
He forced a smile, leaking Fun Points like a faucet, and carefully explained that yes, such rotten priests did exist, and surely the Lord would punish them. But most shepherds of the flock were good men. He pleaded that Kaito not condemn the whole priesthood because of one rat spoiling the barrel.
Kaito fell silent for a moment, then spoke with quiet heaviness.
"You're right, Father. I thought so too… until I met another priest. A priest who ran an even larger church."
Risei's stomach dropped.
'No. Please no. Not another one.'
Cold sweat poured. His smile grew brittle. With great difficulty, he asked, "And… what happened with this one?"
Kaito paused, as if weighing how much to reveal.
"This priest owned a giant villa. One day, he invited a group of people over to throw a party."
"…." Risei wanted nothing more than to bury his face in his hands.
Kaito's expression turned grim.
"Honestly, I was shocked. But compared to that first exorcist priest? Just throwing parties wasn't so bad. I could almost accept it. But then…"
Risei's heart pounded. "But… but what?"
Kaito closed his eyes, his face hollow—like a believer drained of both faith and strength. "He picked out a couple, said the wife was possessed, and then… and then… yeah all kinds of stuff."
"And after he finished, right in front of the crowd, he performed an exorcism ritual on the man."
Risei trembled head to toe. The story—decades ahead of its time—hit him like a truck. His breath came fast, his pulse thundered, his expression cracked completely, until at last he let out a strangled noise and "fainted."
Yeah. Totally faked.
Kaito knew it. The "unconscious" priest was still steadily generating Fun Points.
It wasn't that Risei actually believed Kaito's stories. It was worse—he knew all too well that priests like that really did exist. Corrupt, decadent, rotten to the core. Especially in that strange land called America.
If no one stumbled across them, fine. But once a witness like Kaito saw it… well, Risei couldn't kill him. So pretending to faint was the only escape.
Still, the act had to be played through.
Kaito put on a panicked face and called out loudly for the priest, shaking him, trying to "wake him up." His cries were loud enough to bring Kirei Kotomine running in from outside.
Kirei saw his father collapsed and the upright, seemingly virtuous "psychology expert" beside him shouting in distress. He rushed over at once.
Expressionless as always, Kirei didn't show what he was thinking. But his movements were sharp and quick. "Leave it to me," he told Kaito as he bent to examine Risei.
Then Kirei suddenly froze. Risei's body twitched faintly. And in that moment, Kirei seemed to receive a silent message. Without changing his face, he looked up and told Kaito, "It's fine. I'll handle this. Please, go for now."
Kaito fought to keep a straight face, still acting worried, arguing back and forth a little before finally leaving the church looking heavy-hearted.
Once Kaito was gone, Risei instantly "woke up." After confirming the coast was clear, he let out a long sigh of relief.
Kirei, puzzled, asked, "Father… what happened? Why pretend to faint?"
Risei opened his mouth to explain, but how could he repeat those hell jokes to his naturally saintly son? In the end, he just forced a strained smile and waved it off.
Sometimes, running away really was the best option. Shameful, yes. But effective.
Whether Risei would later file a report to the Church demanding an investigation into American priests' behavior was another matter entirely.
For now, Kaito had completely drained him of all his Fun Points.
Two little "stories" had been enough to break a devout priest.
And Kaito? He was having the time of his life. By the time he left the church, the system even popped up with a new achievement:
[Achievement Unlocked: A priest listening to priest's hell jokes.]
The system rated it highly.
All told, Kaito's church visit had been a gold mine. 528 + 312 + 500 + 500 Fun Points—Kirei had added another 20 when his father collapsed—bringing Kaito's total to 2188.
Though, come on. Only 20 points from seeing his father pass out? Not exactly the picture of filial piety.
Still, Kaito didn't spend them yet. He planned to save until he hit 2500, then push straight to level 10 to boost his power and unlock the new feature waiting there. But if something urgent came up, he could always cash in early.
With that, he headed back to his hotel. After a full day of fun and scheming, it was finally time to rest.
His smile, even in sleep, was as pure as an angel's
...
But for the players in Fuyuki's Holy Grail War, the night was far from over.
The Kotomines were both left restless and shaken.
Zouken Matou fumed over the Tohsakas breaking their deal, prowling the city in search of the absent Kariya Matou.
And the Tohsakas themselves… had even bigger concerns.
After long deliberation, Tokiomi finally accepted "Iron Man Tokiomi's" advice and began preparing to send his younger daughter to the Edelfelts. He was already figuring out how to contact them, even planning to travel to Europe himself to negotiate in person.
Aoi, though reluctant, accepted the plan. In fact, because it was "Iron Man Tokiomi's" suggestion, she even felt oddly relieved.
Tokiomi noticed and sank into gloom. He wanted to be angry, but at whom? In the end, he just stewed silently.
For now, little Sakura, spared from leaving home, felt only gratitude toward her "older version of Dad." Curling up beside her oblivious sister Rin, she drifted into a peaceful sleep.
Everything in Fuyuki was shifting under Kaito's meddling.
And so, the city stepped into a brand-new day.
.
.
.
