mhfap
patreon
Another Update
🕑 Added 2024-10-18 04:27:03 +0000 UTCWanted to say something again because I’ve been doing fairly well these past few days. Before I took that break I was struggling to do a few hundred words a day and now I’m doing 1k-1.5k words pretty easily and I’m not constantly rewriting the same few lines over and over again like I was before. I’m definitely not at my prime still, I won’t be happy till I’m back at 3k a day and there’s some slight lag still, but I do think at this rate the chapter might be done sometime next week and that this is the biggest sign yet that I actually AM recovering from this nightmare. Feels good and I just wanted to talk a little about it.
I also want to talk about some shuffling around of ideas I had for the rest of the volume. From this point on will be spoilers, so don’t read it if you don’t want those and haven’t already read the current outline for the next couple of chapters.
If you’ve read the outline, you probably remember how I said that Zoe’s affection was going to seesaw back-and-forth a little so that her first heart event was drawn out a bit further away. Now that I’m working on it and writing their interactions, I don’t think that makes sense anymore, and I also think that everything that happens while they are at their little arcade date and the slight lewd stuff that happens after it’s pretty much on the level of a heart event already so I’m just going to go for it. I am going to tone down some of the naughtiness when we get to that scene, though. It will probably just be making out and heavy petting.
Ultimately I was building up to her heart event being what eventually snaps her out of being a total hermit, but I think it’s too soon for her to decide ‘okay I’m going to start leaving the house more often’. The hangout is just a taste of that for her, I was planning on having their be a meet and greet for a famous game developer and he would have to take her to it as her first heart event but I think that would serve much better as her second one now that I’ve had more time to think about it. The problem is I doubt we will reach that in this book, so I’m going to reconsider my plans somewhat.
Stacy and Tessa both have big moments planned for the next day in-story, but it still wasn’t going to be a huge focus, so I’m thinking that in order to go with my original ending I had in mind for this book which is going to be quite lewd, I need something to take the place of the time frame of where I was originally going to put Zoe‘s first heart event. I don’t entirely know what yet but I’m already thinking that I will give that timeslot for something with Stacy. Rebecca already had a big focus and there’s going to be a big cliffhanger regarding her at the end of the volume and Tessa really shouldn’t have more than one big moment a book right now when her development is supposed to be subtle and building up overtime, and for the planned ending to make sense he has to be away from Mia.
So really that just means a follow up on what was already planned to happen with Stacy is the only option that makes sense.
I won’t spoil what happens with Tessa tomorrow but Stacy is going to have an accident at work where she sprains her ankle and Oliver end up volunteering to drive her home which she turns out not to be happy about since this means he will find out she lives in a cheap trailer park outside of town to save money. He’s obviously not a judgmental person so the whole thing will be a nice character moment where he gets to know her, sees her house essentially, and they presumably talk about her apology at the end of volume one.
With her having a sprained ankle it shouldn’t be too hard to come up with some excuse for them to hang out again the day after this. We’ll see, I just wanted to share some of my thoughts now that I’m actively working on the story again and having new ideas for it.
Comments
Trevor Collins
I look forward to the next chapter with bated breath, or well...heavy breathing? Lol
PunishedKom
Hey, thank you very much for that. The irony of my story’s themes applying to my current situation is not lost on me and I find it cosmically ironic that I released a breakout book promoting mental health and self improvement while unintentionally sabotaging myself in a way worse way than I could’ve seen coming lol. But this is what makes me happy and I’ll never stop pushing until I’m fully back. Having a good day writing today thus far for what it’s worth and I’m even more certain 86 is only a few days away now.
Ben
The emphasis on continuing to try to do better with your life is one of the themes of LARPG that I really appreciate. Holding onto that drive when you're three or four months into a medication change and trying to decide if you just need to give it more time can be maddening. Even if you feel like you made the wrong call, I hope you can find some small appreciation for the tenacity it's taken to keep pushing.
PunishedKom
Here’s some advice as thanks for all the kind words. No matter what you write, it’s going to suck. Everyone’s first things suck. The thing about writing is you get better at it and it’s about every release making you suck less and less. On top of that, never underestimate how low the barrier to entry is. Depending on what you write, there’s always an audience for it even if its not necessarily well written lmao.
Trevor Collins
So I get that it feels like a setback but to me it sounds like it might be that you learned some stuff about yourself and that's never a waste of time. You still have fans and it sounds like your on track to continue past success. That's some shit to be proud of. I've had the first two chapters of a book written for like six months and I've been struggling to continue because of I don't write it it won't suck. But you're here doing it, and doing it well.
PunishedKom
Yeah, essentially. I’m just upset about it because I successfully tapered from 20 to 10 and 10 to 5 over the course of a year with not a ton of difficulty, so I thought 5 to 0 would be no big deal and I just had to rough it out. Instead I feel like I lost half a year of my life fucking around doing nothing right at the time of my first big commercial success so it’s been quite hellish lmao. But as I said, we’re actually getting somewhere and I will resume final form eventually.
Trevor Collins
Tale as old as time (or at least as old as psychiatric medications). Take meds, feel better, think you don't need meds, stop taking med, realize that was dumb, start taking meds. Happens, glad you're doing better
PunishedKom
Hey, thank you for sharing all that with me. That’s a really rough hand of cards to be dealt and I know for sure I couldn’t make it through anything that traumatic if I were in your shoes so you have my upmost respect and sympathy. I do want to stress that what happened to me is really stupid and reversible by comparison and you shouldn’t worry about me too much. I just tried to get off of my last 5mg of antidepressants at the start of this year, then ignored the warning signs that I shouldn’t have done that for WAY too long. So it’s my own fault for being stubborn, I was just scared because it’s taken like 4 months being back on it to start to see progress again. Before that I wasn’t struggling and I hadn’t for a very long time. I’m okay, I *will* be okay, and thanks for the concern.
Trevor Collins
Hey, I'm a new subscriber to you Patreon. I just wanted to say I love the writing. I really enjoy this series. Also I understand how it is to struggle. I'm a forty something year old dude with ADHD, anxiety, and depression. I lost my son to depression 7 years ago and it still hurts every day. I hope you feel better even though I know the struggle never really goes away. I'm rooting for you and look forward to the next chapter.
