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Condition continuing to improve
🕑 Added 2025-01-14 00:35:14 +0000 UTCI held off on saying this for a few days but I can safely say that I am officially recovering for real. I’m not at my full capacity for writing, but I have written consistently for the last four days hitting around a thousand words or so each time. That counter isn’t totally accurate since it’s not keeping track of what I delete and rewrite, but the fact is I’m able to sit at my desk and actually work on things for a length of time without getting distracted or feeling bad or getting caught in a loop of obsessively compulsively rewriting the same sentences over and over and over again. More than one session a day, too.
Actual progress has been made on the next chapter of LARPG.
The last thing I want to do is give an estimate and shoot myself in the foot if I fail to meet it, but at the rate I’m going maybe a bit over a week? It all depends on how things go from here. I installed my dictation software on the laptop I’m currently using because my desktop is unusable shit now so I might speed up. The words per day counter will be more accurate because of that, too. When I say something and delete it without pressing a key those words don’t get added to my word counter, so that’s good.
Anyway, it’s hard to say how much longer I have to go until I’m back where I was over a year ago able to hit 3-5k words a day, but I do feel like that’s feasible again once I’m more adjusted and less out of practice.
I hope no one will be upset that I’m also using some of my focus on developing something on the side. I actually did more than 1k words today, that was just counting LARPG. There’s a story idea I had in mind, more of a vehicle for ongoing short stories, that I think is worth pursuing. It’s definitely not my priority but I’m just putting it out there.
Hopefully I’ll have more to say soon, but for now, thank you for everyone who waited patiently for me to get back to work. It feels good to be cautiously excited about the future again.
Comments
duane
Take your time, chill, have fun. I don't care if it takes a year for the next chapter. I just want for you to be healthy and happy.
Marksm4n89
Hugs for success!
Alex PvS
I’m so glad depression is fucking insidious I got back on my meds for thyroid and it really made me change. Was like waking up after probably 18 months of blur was wild. Feel like a new man
Trevor Collins
Meh it's over now and learned not to let work overwhelm me. I was working 6 days a week away from home for years. It took it's toll. Now I have a new job (still travel but less) and I'm a better. Everytime I have a depressive episode I learn a little more about myself.
PunishedKom
Thank you, man. That’s really bad and very comparable to what I went through. Sorry to hear that.
PunishedKom
Really hope so! I still don’t want to get optimistic or use hyperbole but the difference was so profound the other day that it actually felt like I was myself for the first time in a fucking year. Optics look good.
Alex PvS
Yah man keep healing and hopefully you keep the upward trend :)
Trevor Collins
I'm super happy you're doing better. I know what it feels like to just "can't". A couple years ago I had a real bad spell and lost a job because I couldn't get out of bed. So I get it.
