fuggmann
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[Original] Patreon editing: God in the Machine prologue
🕑 Added 2021-06-22 04:57:02 +0000 UTCOh damn inspiration struck hard on this one.
It's with pride and a bit of nervousness I present the beginning of my first original work, God in the Machine. I'm hoping to turn this into a full novel series and perhaps begin a true writing career.
(Or at least make enough that I can just work part-time and write the rest of the day)
This is a first draft and it may be totally reworked later, but as always, you all are the first to get a look. Due to the pace of both the story and how I often I want to update it, chapters will probably be a bit shorter than you're all used to. Think the 3k-5k word range. Please tear into me and feel free to suggest edits where you see fit. And please if I messed up your name or totally forgot it in the thanks, call me an idiot and tell me to fix it. Below is the synopsis one more time along with the link.
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Arther C. Clarke's Third Law states that "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." The adage has been used time and time again in scenario after scenario, but one has to wonder...
Is sufficiently advanced magic indistinguishable from technology?
In the year 2048, a drone operator and his AI-assisted combat drone find themselves in a land most fantastical, one fit for pen and paper table-top games. This world, filled with magic that seemingly defies logic, is looked upon with great curiosity by the daydreaming man and the cold machine.
This world wasn't ready for them.
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https://docs.google.com/document/d/1WVaNZIyEkNg47KwcFRarGUGo6jYw-S0DhF24F2beu4g/edit?usp=sharing
Comments
After reading the prologue i've become hooked. I look forward to seeing where this story will go in the future. Keep up the good work!
Planetace
I could think up a few reasons on why he never paused before, most likely such a situation never arose (where the enemy was completely defenceless and didn't even know they were spotted.) every other time he and Minnie fought could of been in more 'fair' engagements, possibly against other drones.
I’m a bit confused about one thing. How long have Niko and Minnie been working together? The dialogue between them suggests that they have worked together for a while or, at least, that this is not the first mission together. If that’s the case, I don’t understand why Minnie would now be asking why he hesitates. That’s the type of question that would come up a lot sooner.
Eriermence
The premise is very interesting and was executed well for this prologue. I’m very excited to see where you take this.
Planetace
Or the AI reproduce themselves.
Planetace
AI girl is already an instant sell, everything else is icing on a well prepared cake.
I love this story so far. Keep it up!
Brad Johnston
I feel like it's 1 of 2 things either us/whatever didn't sign said arms deal barring creating ai(has precedent ex, napalm) or a large enough stockpile with a small enough risk rate that they don't need to make more they just make repair parts we aren't making more at all..... lol
Brad Johnston
I kinda like it a lot. I'm not sure what I'd like more,lightbulb moment now or later
Siphon Rayzar
A very well done prologue. I really like the premise, and the characters are (with what's been shown) quite well done. Something I found interesting, is the fact that there were supposed to be no more AI made. And yet, clearly, there are more AI given that AI Operators is a branch of the Air Force. MIssing context perhaps. Anyway, loved it, and will be waiting for more.
