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Asgard Awakening working blurb

🕑 Added 2018-11-28 11:05:21 +0000 UTC

Comments

Sean

I think the first sentence of the third paragraph would work better without the 'unbroken'. For the second sentence, I think 'in the near future' sounds weird. Maybe something like 'When Trav comes face to face with complete destruction, will his mettle and creativity be enough to survive?'

That third paragraph might need to be reworked

B Thomas

I don't like it, but I'm not sure why.

Blaise Corvin

I thought about that, but since he thinks about her so often in the first two chapters I thought it might be overkill. It's a good suggestion, though. Thank you

J B

Beth is a major motivating factor for Trav, addressing that in passing might be useful too - or not. *shrug* Maybe something like, "Memories of Earth, disappointing his family there, and even the now-dead wife he found in this new world barely seem real anymore."

Blaise Corvin

I think you may be right.

Andrew Davis

I don’t think you need the first sentence at all. It’s catchier if you start with the second.

Steven

Yeah, I have to say this would definitely catch my attention even is I wasn't already a big fan!


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