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Delvers LLC 5, ch 10

🕑 Added 2021-05-01 00:38:39 +0000 UTC

Comments

SteveKeiler

Fun chapter. There is a bit of dialog confusion right here: “Not to krill,” muttered Keeja. “What?” asked Keeja.

Blaise Corvin

In case I haven't said this recently, I appreciate all of these comments. Stuff like this is how I make the books better and why I maintain a Patreon in the first place.

Blaise Corvin

This is transitional. Part of what I set out to do with this series is make realistic characters within a fantastic setting. It has been less than a full year that Henry and Jason have been on Ludus, still. Big changes in how people see the world should feel earned, imo. But yes, very soon.

Blaise Corvin

Splinters. But you're right, I should make that more clear.

Jeff Kabat

Seriously, I'm happy that you're putting up new chapters of Delvers, but the whole hang-up over multiple wives thing is getting really old. You go over it almost every chapter. Not trying to be negative, but do you think we could just move on from that topic?

Daniel Sifrit

“Is this why Enheduanna took her clothes off?” asked Uluula. “Alcohol?” Pretty sure this should refer to Keeja. Also, this whole sequence feels odd because there is no reason for her to go only halfway nude if she did it pre-emptively. Keeja should have been totally nude, and possibly one or the others partially due to the nature of the game. Given that Uluula was bathing nude with Jason within a day of meeting him, they don't exactly have a nudity taboo anyway.

Gregory Doreza

3 crazy Priestesses would make anyone nervous.

Kevin McKinney

HA HA HA HA. That was great!


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