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ATM Rewrite: B3 — 23. When Love Remains
🕑 Added 2025-03-08 01:11:26 +0000 UTCPoV:
1. Mary (Our Fox Girl's Psychiatrist!)
2. Wendy (Our Null-Void Tanuki!)
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Finishing up their heartfelt discussion, Mary watched Sora’s ginger tail disappear through the gateway, teary-eyed, but smiling. Wendy would be sent her way soon enough for her own session.
Oh, Sora… You carry so much. Yet, you’ve grown fast, as you’ve had to. Hmm…
Turning, Mary’s heels clicked against the crumbling cobblestone path, the sound echoing through the hollow ruins of a district she’d been warned about by the grand chancellor… A district which hadn’t been a part of Avalon Academy a month ago. A history Sora didn’t know.
The place felt cold, wounded…forsaken.
The last partially corrupted part of Honeydew.
Mary’s somber gaze drifted between the buildings and trees, totally warped from the honeyed paradise it once had been. Now, alone in this decaying district, she felt the weight of ancient sorrow pressing against her skin Sora felt but didn’t understand.
How cruel…yet fitting and something accepted. A place of constant reminder to Sela of her actions and what she did… It’s extreme. Far more than needed, in my opinion, but then again… I don’t know nearly enough to judge them. Yes, I think I need to talk to her.
Proceeding through the nightmare, she studied the fractured columns looming overhead, their once-golden surfaces now tarnished black. Vines with thorns the color of dried blood crept along walls decorated with faded murals of what must have been celebrations, coronations, happiness—all now crumbling beneath the weight of The Darkness.
Her professional instincts kicked in as she cataloged the environmental symbolism. Every psychiatrist knew that surroundings often reflected inner states. This was a conduction made by the Royal Court, yet Elowen hadn’t forced her to stay here.
This was where she chose to stay.
A faint rustling stopped her mid-thought.
“Sora’s shrink… Are you lost?” The voice came from behind her, melodic yet razor-edged. “It isn’t safe to wander around this district.”
Mary turned, maintaining her professional composure despite the sudden appearance. There stood Sela—skin, a natural peach color, hair a honey blonde, and her wrapped wings still undergoing some sort of metamorphosis.
“Not lost, Queen Sela” Mary evenly replied. “Actually, I was hoping to find you.”
“Queen…” Sela’s lip curled slightly, her posture rigid as stone. “Is that meant to bite, psychiatrist? Is this supposed to be some exercise in healing Sora’s minds.” She almost spat the words. “Tell me, did she send you to fix me as well? Another broken toy for her collection? She seems like the collector type.”
Mary folded her hands at her waist, unbothered by the hostility.
She flinches at ‘Queen’—the weight of it, the failure tied to it. The meaning behind how she obtained the crown. From Sora’s vision, I understand why. Guilt is proof of a heart that still struggles…and still feels. Sela isn’t numb, no matter how much she tries to be.
Her mother’s love endured, even through the deepest corruption The Darkness could carve into her soul. That’s reality-shaking for the fae… Love is immune to their most absolute, most inevitable force that has corrupted over half of their world. What does that mean for someone like Sela, though? The aftermath of that corruption?
I’ve counseled trauma survivors before—but nothing like this. Nothing like watching your hands destroy everything you were meant to protect… Millions of lives. Nothing like standing in the ashes of your own kingdom, knowing it was your hands that crafted its destruction. And her parents…
I wouldn’t have had the strength to go on.
“It’s my pleasure. I help those who wish to be helped. And no, I’m not here to fix you—only to better understand the connection between you and Sora.”
A bitter laugh escaped Sela’s lips as she moved to a crumbling bench, her movements fluid and predatory. Yet, the moment her fingers touched the stone, there was a quake, as if recalling memories that cut.
“Hmm. Then you waste your time. There is no connection. She planted her little seed of light within me—a forced purification I neither asked for nor desired. I’m an experiment of the High Queen. Obligated to participate. Sora’s power may be involved but her feelings are merely the catalyst that keeps me stable. I’m not her puppy to pet and take care of.”
Her silver eyes flashed dangerously as she gestured toward the ruined buildings surrounding them. “I can see it in your aura, your pity, your recognition… The Grand Chancellor informed you about this place… About me. I’m surprised you didn’t tell the little fox.”
“It wasn’t my place to say,” she smoothly returned, moving to stand before her. “Whatever the past was, you are the ruler of this land… May I join you?”
The wind shifted, carrying the scent of honey and ash as an uncomfortable shiver ran down the fae’s frame, clearly agitated by her decorum. Few likely treated her with respect once knowing the truth.
“Do as you please,” she huffed, glancing away with a deep frown. “You certainly have a suffocatingly…supportive aura that is uncomfortable.”
“It is my profession,” Mary chortled, giving her a respectful nod before smoothing out her dress beneath her and sitting. “This place must have been beautiful in the past.”
“Beautiful?” Sela’s mouth became a line while following her gaze. “I suppose…that’s one word you could use. This is what remains of my kingdom. My legacy. Do you think your human psychology can comprehend what it means to destroy everything you were meant to protect? To feel liberated by burning all you hold dear and…crying with joy?”
Mary took a deep breath and rubbed her thumb against the back of her hand, reflecting on her question for a moment. “To feel joy in destruction, yet pain in its remains… That is grief, Queen Sela. At least as I understand it.”
Allowing the silence to breathe before continuing, Mary lowered her voice. “Not all grief manifests as sorrow. Some people weep; others burn. Some feel nothing at all… The Darkness appears to infect someone in a way that breaks the very foundation that makes you…you. That targets the very thing that makes you fight.”
Sela’s eyes narrowed. “You know nothing of my chains.”
She tilts her head slightly, observing the tension in Sela’s shoulders, the way she grips the stone bench. “…Perhaps psychology cannot fully comprehend the weight of an immortal’s burden. But pain…guilt…redemption—these are universal.
“In Sora and everything else that is at least somewhat similar to humans, which…fae seem to mirror in many ways. Whether you were a princess or a simple peasant, the mind processes trauma in patterns that do not seem to deviate greatly across the species I’ve met so far, including fae.”
Mary’s gaze softens as she looks out at the ruined kingdom, deliberately acknowledging it without pity. “You say this is your legacy… Yet you remain here, among its remains. Now, I’m not trying to diagnose you but simply stating what I observe…”
“And what words of wisdom do you have, mortal?” Sela snorted, rolling her eyes and no doubt waiting to twist her words around. “That I am capable of redemption?”
“Well, it tells me that for all the scorn you have for what has become of you… For your past actions, the actions of those who dared have hope in you…is that you have not let go. And that, Queen Sela, to me, means you have not chosen to be beyond saving. No matter how much you hate yourself for that.”
She lets the words settle before leaning back slightly, giving Sela space to react.
The goal wasn’t to “fix” her but to make her think.
To let her see where the light within her had managed to reach.
Something like this didn’t take a conversation to fix…or a century to fix.
The fae stiffened, her chin lifting. “That shifting aura of yours… You fluctuate so much that it sickens my stomach. Choose to try to lecture me or Sora, but speak plainly or leave me to my solitude. I happen to have the day off due to a certain dragon’s spectacle.”
Mary considered her words carefully. Professional distance was key, but so was authentic communication. This being had lived centuries—patronizing would get her nowhere. So, the truth would have to do, and would be something Sora wanted known, as she’d asked during the course of their conversation.
“Hmm. Very well,” she whispered, linking her fingers and looking up at the gnarled, ruined trees. “Sora experienced something last night. A dream, or perhaps more accurately, a vision—of your past. Your mother. Your father.” She shifted to carefully watch Sela’s face. “The Darkness attempted to reach you again, didn’t it? Sora felt it and her power repelled it from her dorm.”
Sela’s composure fractured for just a moment—a tremor running through her shoulders, the silver in her eyes flickering like a guttering flame. “Damn. So the little fox felt it,” she murmured, more to herself than Mary. Her fingers traced the broken stone beside her. “The seed connects us more than I anticipated. Founder magic is complicated and reacts to her desires. So she wanted to protect me. How…inconvenient.”
That’s a sad response but predictable… She wants the pain to be over and tried to do something dangerous last night. I won’t get an answer as to what it was… I don’t need one.
“Mmm. Sora feels responsible for your struggle,” Mary continued. “Not because she removed The Darkness you’d used to shield yourself from your own pain, but because she couldn’t do more to help you through it.”
Sela’s head snapped up, eyes flashing. “I did not ask for her interference! This is a punishment worse than death or any other form of torture. The nightmares…the memories. The feelings that return with them. I was…content as an Unseelie. I’d escaped the general grasp of The Darkness and made a new life.”
“Were you?” Mary challenged gently. “And we both know it is impossible to escape what is yourself. That was you…but a twisted, numb version. Sora needs to hear from you eventually that what she did for you was right.”
The fae rose in one fluid motion, her fury radiating outward in waves that made the air shimmer like gold. “How dare you presume to know my mind?! You, whose life is but a blink in the span of mine!”
Mary remained seated, her expression calm despite the pressure building in the air around them. She didn’t fear Sela like Jenny. “Age doesn’t grant immunity from suffering, Queen. Sometimes it just gives us more time to perfect our defenses against it.”
“Quit…calling me that.” The tension crackled between them, charged with centuries of pain and rage. Then, unexpectedly, Sela’s shoulders sagged, weariness in her voice as the anger drained away. “This is a waste of my precious time. What do you want from me, human? To tell Sora she’s a good girl?”
“No,” Mary answered honestly, a small, supportive smile lifting her eyes.
Sela forced a laugh, bound wings stretching out as she rubbed between her eyes, golden bangs slipping out of place. “I see… You have no expectations for me. You’re only here to reveal what Sora needs. Such a clever woman for being so young. Humanity certainly has advanced in many unconventional ways without the aid of magic.”
“More than I realized,” Mary reflected, thinking back on what new information she’d been granted from the SCC Foundation… From Raven. “I’m merely here because Sora cares about you and she cannot decide how to approach this… It’s something she shouldn’t have to at her age. So, I am here. She feels your pain and wants to help but doesn’t know how.”
Sela scoffed, turning away to face the ruins of her palace in the distance, no doubt holding back tears from the raw wounds that were reopening. “She cannot help me. No one can.”
“Perhaps not in the way others want,” Mary agreed, bowing her head with a sad smile. “Sora has done the only thing she could. It’s done. But perhaps the question isn’t whether she can help you, but whether you’re willing to help yourself… And what that looks like in the end.”
Mary stood, brushing dust from her blue dress that had fallen upon it from the overhead branches. “The Darkness first offered power, knowledge…then an escape from your guilt—its bane—for the price of something so precious…”
She paused, not needing to say it and letting the fae’s own mother’s words resurface in her bleeding heart that Sora had shared. Nothing else would ever be as powerful.
“…Now you face it unfiltered, every day. That requires more courage than surrendering to The Darkness ever did… Sora didn’t just give you light, Queen Sela. She gave you a choice again to open the door to her unconditional love.” Mary took a step closer. “The question is—what will you choose to do with it?”
Sela remained silent, her back still turned.
After a time, the fae turned slightly, her profile sharp against the gray sky. There were no tears, no breaks in her voice, but there was less darkness on her face. “And here I thought you weren’t here for me? No…you aren’t. Well, this audience is over.”
Mary nodded and gave her a respectful bow. “Sora is young… Please, help guide her through the darkness in ways only you can. Thank you for your time, Queen Sela.”
As she turned to leave there were no more words, yet Mary could feel a change in the air.
There was a scent.
Honey.
The scent hung in the air as Mary made her way back toward the gate in preparation for Wendy’s arrival, leaving the former Unseelie Queen standing amidst the ruins of her past.
She knew the woman would be gone by the time Wendy and her returned to this bench.
Sora… You’ve done more good than you can ever fathom.
— — *
Exiting the crystal gateway in a flash of light, Wendy spotted Mary standing across the broken stone steps, blue dress fluttering in the gentle breeze.
Her heart picked up a beat. The psychiatrist had become something of an anchor point in the chaos of her life—like Nilly and Sora. A reliable constant amidst all the changes. Well, Nilly’s sporadic nature and humor were a constant with the Cat Mother.
Sweeping her bangs back and concentrating hard to keep her hair out of the way, like Sora did, she internally squealed as the clumsy threads wove together in response.
Success! Oh, Mary probably thinks I’m a total mess after Sora’s talk with her… Jealous Wendy, lashing out at anyone new. Super protective and scared bestie… Actually, who am I kidding? I am a total mess! That’s okay, right?
Smoothing her tank-top further into her shorts self-consciously, Wendy approached, her fluffy tail swishing with nervous energy. Unlike Sora’s sleek fox tail, hers was bushier, puffier—a constant reminder of her hybrid nature. Would Mary bring that up?
“Mary!” she called, forcing brightness into her voice. “Sora said you wanted to talk to me…here? Weird place to talk! Wait, what’s that honey smell? That’s new. It’s…tasty,” she gulped, clearing her throat. “Anyway, hey!”
The psychiatrist turned, a warm smile lighting her features. Something about Mary's expression caught Wendy's attention, the wrinkles in her brow—a thoughtfulness, as if she’d just been deep in contemplation.
“Wendy, yes. Perfect timing, and don’t you look ready for the contest.”
“Mhm! I’m a little nervous but also super excited to test some things out—they’re a work in progress! Have you been waiting long?” Wendy asked, ears twitching slightly forward. “It took a second for Sora to get to us but now that we have her car we can move around districts pretty fast.”
“I bet you can. And no, not at all,” Mary replied, pulling her bangs behind her ears as the wind picked up, carrying that same honey scent. “I just finished a rather interesting conversation with a…strong-willed woman. It was quite enlightening and fruitful.”
Wendy tilted her head, curiosity piqued. “Strong-willed woman? Who was—” But she cut herself off, her nose wrinkling slightly. “Never mind. I think I know who… I’ve smelled it enough in her classes. Sorry if she was rude. She was sort of evil, as you know.”
“Oh, no. It was a rather productive conversation. That is beside the point, though. Shall we walk?” Mary suggested, gesturing toward one of the winding paths that cut through Avalon’s grounds. “I know of a particular bench that has its own charming views in the right light.”
Wendy nodded, falling into step beside the psychiatrist. Her tail twitched, betraying her despite her attempt at casual conversation. “So… What do you think about Sora and Kari?”
Stupid! Don’t bring up Kari off the bat or she’ll think you’re super jealous. Be smart!
“Kari, hmm? My view would be quite complicated and layered… But what do you think about her?”
Well…that worked well.
The mention of the wolf girl sent a complex mixture of emotions flowing through Wendy. After everything that had happened, she still couldn’t quite figure out how to feel about the wolf. Maybe she had mentioned her for a reason.
Finding her elbow behind her back, Wendy glanced down at the brooch attached to her tank-top strap—her true body—before glancing away. “Sora’s been…spending a lot of time with Kari lately,” Wendy muttered, unable to keep a hint of resentment from her voice. “I think she’s getting her into trouble and won’t even talk to me about it.”
Wendy risked a look.
Mary gave her a knowing stare. She totally knows what they’re doing and not going to tell me. Patient-client privilege and all that jazz… Dang it. I don’t want to come off as the clingy sister-slash-best friend!
Mary’s expression softened, her steps slowing to match Wendy’s pace. “You’re worried about Sora,” she observed, not a question but a gentle acknowledgement. “And perhaps feeling a bit…left out?”
The brown-haired woman studied her face carefully, noting the subtle twitch of her ears. “It’s natural to be concerned when someone important to us starts spending time with someone we have complicated feelings about. Especially given your history between all three of you.”
A light breeze carried the scent of honey-like wildflowers between them—which was a first here—as Mary continued, “I imagine this shift has been particularly challenging after everything you two have been through together. The bond between you and Sora is special—sharing your transformation experiences, past close friendship, and the fact you two have been more like sisters growing up created a unique connection.”
She paused, allowing space for Wendy’s thoughts.
Her tail lowered slightly with her gaze to follow along the many cracks. Kari’s…not as bad as I want to say. I don’t want to say it out loud, at least. She’s…actually super sad and everything Sora told me makes me feel…angry for her, which makes me feel even more angry about everything else about her…
“It’s complicated…”
“I bet it is… Would it help to talk directly with Sora about how you’re feeling? Not accusing, just sharing your concerns?”
Wendy’s tail immediately went up, lips bunching to the side as she glared at the decaying stones. “So…she didn’t tell you I did talk to her about my concerns. Which means…it’s not high on her priority list,” she grumbled, the fur on the back of her tail flexing slightly with agitation.
Mary hummed, tilting her head to the side. “Not necessarily… In any case, I thought we might benefit from some one-on-one time together. If you want, we can address that eventually.”
Wendy’s shoulders relaxed slightly. “Yeah…maybe in a bit. She’s just…ugh!”
“So frustratingly open and has too big of a heart?”
“The biggest! Bah, she’s supposed to be crafty and…I don’t know, a lot of her earlier trickiness and stuff kind of tamed out after the whole…mess in Miami. Like, I get it,” she mumbled, rubbing her shoulder, “I really do. Things have gotten so out of control.”
She kicked at a pebble in their path, watching it skitter away. “It’s just, sometimes it’s hard to talk with her when everyone’s so…involved. You know? Even Jin is confused about Sora because vulpes are supposed to be, I don’t know…selfish? She’s totally the opposite.”
“Mmm. I wouldn’t say that,” Mary whispered, a small, sad smile lifting her lips. “Sora has her own faults, and I’ve worked with her to temper out some of her more…deviant nature so she’d set appropriate and healthy boundaries.
“However, none of this is normal teenage girl drama. It’s been quite the transformation for you both these past months, hasn’t it? All the drama at school and during summer with your mom… All the extra hours you worked that took you away from being able to explore anything with Theo. Then Sora came back into your life, Kari’s gang, the pressures of what happened next… New family, new powers, a new identity…”
“Transformation is putting it mildly,” Wendy snorted, running a hand through her wavy brown and black hair, resembling a tanuki—it had been coming in darker as she explored her mother’s side. “One minute I’m just this normal girl with a drunk mom and a missing dad, the next I’m this…hybrid thing with magical parents. One being our former caretaker, turned Founder!”
They passed a flowering bush, vibrant with blue and purple blossoms. Without thinking, Wendy reached out to touch one of the petals. The flower immediately was sucked into a void under her fingertips, curling inward as if in pain. She jerked her hand back as if burned, brooch suddenly flaring with light.
“Wha—sorry,” she mumbled, noticing Mary’s observant gaze but she just blinked as if nothing had happened. Her fingers instantly lifted to the seven-pointed star at her front, clutching it. The pressure rising in her chest eased. “I, umm… I’m not totally stable. Sometimes there are…glitches that can happen. I don’t mean to do it.”
Mary studied the bush, her expression professionally neutral. “How are you feeling about your…new abilities? Sora mentioned you’ve been developing new powers but was quite vague about it.”
Wendy bit her lip, aware of the strange fog that descended whenever she tried to directly discuss the Null-Void with anyone outside her immediate family. At the thought of their aunt, black thorns coiled around the woman. Mary had heard the explanations before, but the knowledge simply wouldn’t stick to anyone in Existence, or, at least, that was the theory.
“I’ve had this…alien kind of power,” she began carefully, watching her words. “Something that’s hard to control. It’s like…the opposite of creation. It sort of blinks things out.” She glanced at the place the flower had been. “But Mom—Noelia—her power is coming back with a little help from someone else. Her side. The tanuki magic.”
“And how does that feel? Working with this new power?”
Wendy smiled, genuinely this time. “It feels right. Natural, almost. Like I’m finally using a part of myself that was always there, but dormant.”
They continued walking, passing beneath the shadow of a massive gnarled oak tree, noticing a small bead of yellow goo poking out of a thin branch.
“The contrast between these abilities must be challenging to navigate,” Mary observed.
“That’s one word for it,” Wendy laughed, but the sound was hollow. “Terrifying would be another. Sometimes I feel like I’m not really…here.: She squeezed the pendant tighter. “Like I’m just projecting an image of myself or something. But now…it’s getting better.”
“I understand that as meaning you don’t have a real body, as in you are more an energy being of some kind. How does this new image differ from the old that makes you feel better about yourself?”
The question caught Wendy off-guard. Her ears flattened against her head as she considered it.
“Better? Uh, well, sometimes—before—I used to wake up and have to touch things… I never told Sora that, but it was the only way to stop my stomach from…inverting? It’s a weird feeling,” she admitted, voice dropping. “You know, to make sure I’m even solid I have to just stand in front of a mirror and poke myself. Or I catch myself in a mirror and think, ‘Is that really me?’ Since, well, it could be…something else.”
Her fingers moved to the black mourning brooch pinned to her red tank-top—the object that had once been her entire self. “Sometimes this feels more real than I do… But it’s better after yesterday because of something someone did…and Sora’s help. I can’t forget that,” she said with a small chuckle.
Mary gestured toward a stone bench overlooking a dry pond. The cracked earth seemed to shimmer with something golden underneath, dead fish lying all around it, as if frozen in time. It was rather unsettling, but that was Sela’s district for you.
“That’s good to hear. And how is your relationship with Noelia developing?” Mary asked once they were seated.
The question brought warmth to Wendy’s chest. “It’s…good. Better than I expected, actually. When I was home that was. She’s nothing like M—like…Jane.” Her voice hardened at the mention of her biological mother. “Noelia actually listens when I talk—really listens. She made time for me as if…like I was her whole world. Hah. She doesn’t make me feel like I’m just this burden she’s stuck with…which is definitely a plus,” she laughed, voice cracking a little.
“How do you feel about Jane now?”
Wendy’s tail curled protectively around her front to hold. “What’s there to feel? She made her choice. She chose alcohol, youth, and men over me. Always did.” A bitter edge crept into her voice. “When she abandoned me at the hotel that day… Ahem. Something just…broke.”
A shiver ran from her spine to the tip of her bristling tail. “Or maybe…healed. I can’t really decide which. Stupid, isn’t it? I want to decide I’m done waiting for her to be something she never was…and I feel… I feel guilty sometimes wanting to see her smile at me,” she took a deep breath, fighting back tears as Mary offered a hand and Wendy squeezed it with a helpless laugh.
“I know that might feel like a betrayal to Noelia…but it’s natural, Wendy. You really do love your mom, and she was your mother…even if she didn’t deserve that right. She was. And there will always be a part of you that wished she would have stepped up to return everything you gave to her… Logic and emotions often fight. And that’s okay. That doesn’t change the fact…”
“Noelia is my mom,” Wendy finished, brushing away the tears. “Thanks, Mary. I know she is… Yeah. Well,” Wendy shrugged, trying to appear more casual than she felt, “I have a real family now. Sora’s my sister. Dad—Jarlath—he’s always been a dad to me.” Her voice softened. “And Noelia…she’s my mom. My real mom.”
“Yet I sense there’s still something troubling you about your new family dynamic… Sora is a big part of it. But she’s not all of it.”
Wendy’s ears flattened further against her head. “Is it that obvious?”
“I’m a professional,” Mary smiled. “Reading between the lines is part of the job.”
Wendy sighed, her tail unwinding to hang listlessly at her side. “It’s just…everyone has all these secrets. Mom didn’t talk much about her past. There’s this whole mystery about why she was exiled from her clan for being barren and into Mia’s territory. The whole squirrel Founder part of my blood.” She kicked at the ground and lifted her bushy tail for emphasis. “Dad has all this stuff he’s just starting to remember. And Mia…” She trailed off, unable to quite articulate her concerns.
“What about Mia?” Mary prompted.
Wendy stood abruptly, moving to the edge of the pond. Bending down to look at the crystalized yellow substance hidden underneath that hadn’t been there previous times she’d stopped by the district. This place was weird, though.
“She’s… I don’t know. She’s great, don't get me wrong. She accepted me right away, treats me like I’m really her daughter… But also has a really weird way of viewing the whole dynamic between all of us.”
She traced patterns in the cracked soil with her finger, watching the gold underneath shimmer. “But sometimes I catch her looking at me with this…worry. Like she’s waiting for something bad to happen.”
She turned back to Mary, expression troubled. “And there’s all this stuff she’s not telling Sora. About her grandmother, about Inari. About why she really gave up her powers. Just to be close to us can’t be the only reason, right?”
Her voice dropped to almost a whisper. “I heard her talking to Noelia one night. She said something about a sacrifice that was ‘worth any price.’ So, yeah, that’s a bit, you know…”
Mary remained silent, watching her work through her thoughts.
“Sometimes I feel like I’m, I don’t know, caught in the middle of this huge cosmic game between Dad, Sora, and something…out there,” Wendy continued, kicking at a stone near the edge and watching it tumble away. “Nilly’s cryptic sayings. About how…I’m her only friend. Like I’m supposed to be important somehow, but no one will tell me why.”
She shuddered, remembering the cold tendrils that sometimes reached for her in sleep, the sensation of being watched from a place beyond reality. “And there was this sleepwalking episode…that you can’t even recall me talking about, but even I don’t remember any of it. One minute I was asleep, the next Sora was freaking out because I was standing in her room all ominous like.”
Her tail swished in agitation at Mary’s blank stare, puffing slightly. “I know I should be grateful. And I am! I have a family that actually loves me now. But sometimes I still feel so…lost in it. Like…what’s my place?”
“Identity is complex for everyone, Wendy,” Mary said thoughtfully. “But particularly so for someone in your position. It’s natural to question where you fit in this new reality.”
Wendy looked down at her hands, turning them over as if searching for answers in her palms. “Does it ever get easier? Knowing who you’re supposed to be?”
“I don’t think we ever fully know who we’re ‘supposed’ to be… Even Mia has those thoughts. She’s told me herself,” Mary replied gently. “Being a mother is terrifying. Especially given her unique circumstances. Everyone is doing their best… Their very best.”
Wendy smiled and nodded as Mary released her hand and shifted to look her in the eyes in a way that said she saw her. “We discover who we are through the choices we make, the connections we form, the values we uphold—even when those values are tested.”
“I just want to be…enough. I don’t know, maybe not even for them but for…”
“Yourself?”
“Yeah… For me.”
Mary let the silence pass between them, her face doing more to convey her thoughts than the words that followed, though those helped, too. “…Every new day, we’re farther along in our journey, and we discover questions we had the previous day. So cheer up, Wendy, you have a heart of faith and beauty… Forgiveness, purpose, and vision don’t come at once, but with every new step you take in freshly tread snow. It’s in who you choose to be, moment by moment.”
Wendy fell silent, considering that as her heart filled with something it had been missing for a while. Something she couldn’t put into words. Something soothing.
Her tail gradually relaxed, resuming its gentle swishing. “Thank you, Mary. You know, I was so confused… Like how can Kari, of all people, be good? How could Sora’s amazing mom do…bad things? Who… What am I really? But…maybe I don’t need to know now.”
She couldn’t keep the pride from her voice as she reflected on all the work she’d done yesterday until she could finally feel her mother’s magic on the letter she’d written to them. The smell of it on Sora’s car when they were in it.
“I have a mom that loves me and cries to see me at night… Who can’t wait until I return to hold me in her arms and cry… And hold me in her arms, and be joyful… Because she loves me. And that’s enough. That’s…more than enough. That there will always be a place for me in her heart.”
Mary’s smile warmed. “That’s beautiful… I’ll cherish that you shared that with me, Wendy. I have to come to the tournament today to see that… To see the love you put into your mother’s magic. I hear you’ve practiced quite diligently yesterday. Can I come?”
The question immediately brightened Wendy’s mood, her ears perking up as she stood from the bench. “Yes! Jin’s made it this huge competition with different brackets. I’m in the—well, honestly, I don’t know what bracket! Isn’t that funny?”
“Well, you have been busy.”
“Right?!” Her tail puffed with excitement, nearly doubling in volume as she brushed away her tears with a smile, hoping her mother was sneaking a peak. “Mom’s been working with Mia so much, but I know she’s watching. She has to be…”
Impulsively, she turned and gave Mary a quick hug.
“Wendy…”
“I know! It’s not proper and whatever, but… Sorry, not sorry! Thanks for talking with me. It…helped more than you know. Or maybe you do!” she laughed. “But yes! I’m ready.”
“That’s what I’m here for,” Mary gently assured, returning the embrace. “Alright, why don’t we find Sora. Can you lead the way?”
“I think so! Well, I bragged to Sora that I could, so I better figure it out… Uh, yeah. Let’s give it a try!”
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Comments
Blinglee
Great chapter and the last few as well
