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The Burden of Eternity #8

🕑 Added 2025-07-23 14:30:01 +0000 UTC

Comments

Mage

Echo . And don’t be afraid to add a lil exxxxxtra subtle MOD fate entwined awareness lemon magic when the time comes. But agreed, plot is Sooooooooooooooooooo good that all lemons should be on the back burner and rare. Loving this story and style of writing

Vorian

Understood.

James

I disagree about the explicit scenes being shorter - at the moment at least, they're serving a story function as well as being hot. They're foundational for Harry and Darcy's relationship. But I would say your chapters should be a thousand words longer. The explicit scenes take up too high a percentage of the chapter, and leave little room for advancing the narrative. Which to echo Fiua, is a shame because it's an interesting plot. You just need a little more time in each chapter to devote to advancing characterisation and plot.


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