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Chapter 38: Past Life
🕑 Added 2025-03-24 12:10:40 +0000 UTCAfter she finished speaking, both of them fell silent for a long time.
Qiu Che raised her hand slightly, and in the end, she patted Li Qingwu’s head in a comforting manner, as if soothing a child. In a soft voice, she said, "It’s okay."
"Actually, it doesn’t matter if you don’t say anything. It doesn’t change anything."
Li Qingwu was slightly taken aback by her gesture. She forced a small smile, assuming Qiu Che was just trying to console her.
Qiu Che casually changed the subject. "Haven’t you been busy managing your shops lately? Tell me, how’s it going?"
Li Qingwu let the matter drop and didn’t press on.
After thinking for a moment, she stood up, walked to her desk, and brought back a few account books. Hesitantly, she said, "I was just about to discuss this with you... I think we need to replace the shopkeepers of these stores. For the past two weeks, the accounts have been in deficit. During my inquiries, I discovered they’ve all been embezzling."
Qiu Che frowned slightly. "If they need to be replaced, then replace them. If you think it’s necessary, go ahead. Why discuss it with me?"
Li Qingwu’s face reddened, and she stammered, "Because... it’s my dowry. So now, it belongs to both of us."
That’s why she needed to consult with her.
Qiu Che chuckled. "I’m not really your husband... You can make these decisions yourself. I have no particular insights on these matters, I can only listen."
Li Qingwu lowered her gaze and nodded. Then, she added, "There’s one more thing."
"I think the goods sold in these shops are too ordinary outdated rouge and powders, clothing styles that are either too old-fashioned or overpriced so common folk can’t afford them, or too cheap but ill-fitting and uncomfortable. These are the main reasons for the losses."
Under Qiu Che’s encouraging gaze, she slowly continued, "I want to try finding someone to create something new."
Qiu Che considered it seriously before nodding. "That’s a good idea. You could hire some experienced artisans—"
"No," Li Qingwu interrupted softly, a little embarrassed. "I mean, I want to design them myself."
She anxiously added, "I’m fairly skilled in painting and embroidery, so I want to give it a try."
Qiu Che was momentarily stunned.
Then, without hesitation, she said, "That’s perfectly fine."
Suddenly, Qiu Che recalled something. In their past life, she had once told Li Qingwu to find something she enjoyed and not to always revolve around her.
Later, after sending Li Qingwu to Jiangnan, it seemed she had taken the advice to heart, running small businesses all these years.
Ten years later, when Qiu Che had risen to the position of Prime Minister, Li Qingwu had already made a name for herself in Jiangnan.
An idea struck her, and she asked, "Since you’re launching new designs, you’ll need a brand name. I’ve heard that all major businesses have their own names. Would you like to name your shops as well?"
"I hadn’t thought of that." Li Qingwu looked momentarily surprised that Qiu Che was thinking so far ahead, but she didn’t reject the idea. Tentatively, she asked, "Would you name it for me?"
Qiu Che pretended to ponder for a moment. "How about Zhu Yan?"
That had been the name of Li Qingwu’s business in their past life.
"Zhu Yan..." Li Qingwu murmured the name, a faint smile tugging at her lips as if recalling something. "Alright, let’s go with that."
Qiu Che glanced at her with a complicated expression.
They continued discussing how to reform the shops. Li Qingwu planned to shut them down temporarily, starting with the clothing store. She would hire workers to sort through the existing fabrics, keeping usable materials and repurposing discarded cloth into new designs.
No matter what she proposed, Qiu Che supported her wholeheartedly.
But while the plans were set, Li Qingwu still had no concrete ideas for designing the garments.
"If you want to create new designs, you could consult Yao Tai," Qiu Che suggested. "She’s always full of innovative ideas and might inspire you."
Li Qingwu paused, giving Qiu Che a curious look. Then, she suddenly asked, "Have you known her for a long time?"
Qiu Che was caught off guard. "No, just over a month."
Li Qingwu only responded with an "Oh" and said nothing more.
Qiu Che then wrote down Yao Tai’s secret phrase on a slip of paper, handing it to Li Qingwu. She told her that if she ever needed anything, she could go through the back door of Hongxiu Courtyard to find Yao Tai.
As she handed it over, Qiu Che felt an odd sense of temporal dissonance.
In their past life, it had been Li Qingwu who had introduced her to valuable connections. But in this life, fate had turned things around, and Qiu Che was now the one guiding her.
It felt like a full circle, an ironic twist of destiny.
Li Qingwu held the paper, eyes lowered in thought.
After a long silence, she quietly asked, "Do you really think it’s fine for a woman to run a business?"
Sometimes, seeing Qiu Che’s calm and assured expression gave her the illusion that it truly wasn’t an issue.
As if all she needed to do was focus on her work, and success would follow.
Yet, she couldn’t help but be drawn to Qiu Che’s unwavering confidence.
Qiu Che hesitated for a moment. "Li Qingwu."
For the first time, she didn’t call her "Princess," "Your Highness," or jokingly address her as "wife" or "madam." She simply spoke her name, plainly and seriously.
Li Qingwu unconsciously straightened her posture. Her mind hadn’t caught up yet, but her voice responded instinctively. "Hmm?"
"Don’t decide the outcome before you’ve even started," Qiu Che said lightly. "Just keep moving forward."
"Even if something does happen, I’ll be behind you."
She had disguised herself as a man to take the imperial exam without fear—how could Li Qingwu be so hesitant about running a business?
Li Qingwu didn’t reply. She only lowered her head, lost in thought.
Qiu Che stretched lazily and walked past her. "You focus on your work. I’m going to wash up."
"Mhm," Li Qingwu murmured.
Qiu Che had already reached the door but suddenly turned back and patted Li Qingwu’s shoulder.
"About what you told me today—"
Li Qingwu looked up, realizing belatedly what she was referring to.
She blinked.
Her expression, lost in thought, was so captivating that even though Qiu Che wasn’t a man, she found herself momentarily entranced.
She hesitated for a beat before continuing.
"I think we should allow ourselves to have an imperfect past and accept the mistakes we’ve made."
Just like how she had come to accept the missteps of her previous life.
"The future is long, and you’re still young. This isn’t the end."
"—Neither of us will stop here."
That night, Li Qingwu dreamt again.
This time, the dream was longer, clearer.
She looked up and found herself sitting in the bedroom of the Princess’ Manor.
The room was empty, and in her hands was a wooden comb. She seemed to be lost in thought.
She instinctively got up to look for something.
But after a few steps, she stopped and wondered—
What was she looking for?
She couldn’t remember.
Fortunately, the Li family was exactly as she had expected. They despised her and no longer paid her any attention.
She was married off and finally left the palace, the cage that had confined her for more than ten years.
She was free.
After marrying Qiu Che, life was exceptionally peaceful.
—Aside from Qiu Che’s elder brother frequently dropping by unannounced, engaging in idle chatter, and suddenly attempting to take advantage of her, only to be chased out by Fu Ling wielding a broom.
She and Qiu Che rarely saw each other. In the three months since their marriage, the times they had met could be counted on two hands.
All Li Qingwu could do was seize the moments when Qiu Che returned to the residence and was busy working in the study, occasionally knocking on the door to express her concern.
Bringing tea, serving soup, or offering a warm cloak.
But what she considered thoughtful care seemed to be a burden to Qiu Che.
One night, when she knocked on the study door, Qiu Che, perhaps finally reaching her limit, put down her brush and asked, “Don’t you have anything of your own to do?”
Li Qingwu bowed properly, just like any ordinary wife, and replied with perfect decorum, “My duty is to serve my husband.”
Qiu Che coldly responded that it wasn’t necessary.
She suggested Li Qingwu take a left turn out the door and find something else to do.
To be honest, at that moment, Li Qingwu briefly doubted her own charm.
Then she touched her face and remembered that despite Qiu Che’s youthful appearance, she was, in fact, a woman. That doubt quickly faded.
She realized that a long-term strategy of warmth and devotion wouldn’t work on Qiu Che.
But she had no other means.
A woman raised in the deep palace only had a few skills at her disposal.
Seduction and tenderness.
The former didn’t apply to Qiu Che, and the latter was something she simply wouldn’t accept.
So, Li Qingwu gave up and stopped appearing before Qiu Che so frequently.
Yet, from time to time, when she saw Qiu Che busy and fulfilled, she couldn’t help but feel a trace of envy.
She envied that, despite being a woman, Qiu Che could step out into the world whenever she pleased, earning her own livelihood, building her own career, never needing to rely on a man to survive.
The etiquette and teachings drilled into her for over a decade told her that such thoughts were wrong.
But her heart told her that this was the life she longed for.
And because she could never have it, her gaze lingered more and more on Qiu Che.
She began to admire her.
She couldn’t tell whether she admired the person or the life she led.
One day, while wandering the streets out of boredom, she met Yao Tai.
A friend who, despite not spending much time with her in the years to come, gave her many invaluable pieces of advice.
Perhaps noticing that Li Qingwu’s life in the princess’s residence wasn’t particularly fulfilling, Yao Tai suddenly told her one day that she could read fortunes.
By then, they had already built a strong rapport.
Li Qingwu chuckled and asked, “And what have you predicted?”
Yao Tai replied meaningfully, “I’ve seen that the two of you will have a lifetime of stability and happiness.”
Li Qingwu was stunned.
Yao Tai added, “Don’t always wear that sorrowful expression. The two of you may not be getting along now, but perhaps the timing just isn’t right yet.”
Li Qingwu asked, “The two of us?”
Yao Tai pointed at her, then at the princess’s residence. “You and your ‘husband.’”
Li Qingwu laughed, taking it as a joke.
Life in the rear courtyard was dull, so she turned her attention to the businesses that had come as part of her dowry.
Following Qiu Che’s suggestion, she began inspecting and restructuring the shops.
She also adopted many of Yao Tai’s recommendations, and business gradually improved.
As a result, Qiu Che’s attitude toward her softened somewhat, and she often inquired about the state of the business.
Yao Tai said, “See? I was right, wasn’t I?”
Li Qingwu smiled but still didn’t say she believed it. Yet, for some reason, she found herself hoping that Yao Tai’s baseless ‘prediction’ would come true.
But just as she was getting deeply involved in the business, with many aspects still unfinished, just when she had begun to believe that life might indeed improve as Yao Tai had said—
Qiu Che suddenly brought news.
She wanted Li Qingwu to leave the capital and go to the Qiu family’s ancestral home in Jiangnan.
Li Qingwu had no idea what she was thinking.
Only that all the hopes she had just started to nurture suddenly crumbled.
She looked at the person she had been married to for nearly half a year, who had scarcely spared her a proper glance.
Once again, she felt an overwhelming sense of defeat.
Her celebrated beauty and talents, her gentle and thoughtful nature traits that had always been her greatest assets in winning a man’s heart were all useless.
Because Qiu Che is a woman.
Before her, Li Qingwu had nothing.
So when Qiu Che told her to leave, she had no reason to argue. No reason to even ask why.
No reason to stay.
After a moment of silence, she nodded and said, “Alright.”
She should have expected this day to come, shouldn’t she?
What other reaction could she have had?
On the day Li Qingwu left, the first snow of the year fell in the capital.
Qiu Che offered to see her off, so Li Qingwu, holding an umbrella, waited with Fu Ling at the gates of the Qiu residence.
As she passed by the side hall, she heard loud arguing from within.
Judging by the voices, it was Qiu Che and her father.
The ‘father-in-law’ Li Qingwu had barely met.
Fu Ling whispered, “Do you want to take a look?”
Li Qingwu stood in the snow, frozen, silent for a long time.
She heard Qiu Che’s rare outburst of anger, laced with exhaustion: “If not for your drugging, how could I have… how could I have been forced to marry her?!”
“I’ve already made too many concessions for your so-called plan. Don’t push me any further!”
Amid the argument, she also heard Qiu Chudong’s equally furious rebuke.
But Li Qingwu had stopped listening.
Her steps faltered slightly.
It was only at this moment that she realized that night in the imperial garden—Qiu Che had never willingly shared a bed with her.
She had been trapped too.
In that ridiculous night of passion, she wasn’t the only one drugged.
Li Qingwu slowly raised a hand to cover her face.
Something icy fell at the corner of her eye. For a moment, she couldn’t tell if it was snow or tears.
She only wanted to laugh.
Because it was laughable.
Laughable that her entire life had been a game of scheming and being schemed against.
Even the ‘husband’ she had married had never wanted her at all.
If not for the drug, even if she had been utterly humiliated that night, with Qiu Che’s unwavering self-restraint, she probably wouldn’t have laid a single finger on her.
Why had she only realized this now?
After a long pause, she heard Fu Ling call softly, “Your Highness.”
“You look pale. Should we…”
Li Qingwu shook her head and said, “Let’s go.”
Fu Ling asked, “Aren’t we waiting?”
Li Qingwu didn’t answer.
Draped in a white fox-fur cloak and carrying a small bundle, she left the Qiu residence with only a maid and a guard.
She never looked back.
That day’s snow was heavy, and the carriage struggled to move forward.
As if some divine force was trying to hold her back.
But she was determined to leave. No one could stop her.
And so, for the next ten years, every journey back to the capital would be arduous and drawn out.
Just like today—
Always one step too late.
