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Divine Apostasy Book 5 - Chapter 6

🕑 Added 2021-05-01 06:28:04 +0000 UTC

Comments

A. F. Kay

I agree. I'll get rid of it.

Daemon Shade

Nitpick: “Of course, you do. You’re the Dungeon Master.” Is the comma necessary? It seems awkward to me.

A. F. Kay

Thank you, Sweet!

Suggestions: He has about as much focus as you, and if you interrupted him, it would take me all day to get him started again.” if you interrupt him (?) if you'd interrupted him (?) That same visit to Fractal is where they’d met was where Not just any coin, but a pure terium one Ruwen had created by condensing his own Spirit. That same visit to Fractal is where they’d met Xavier, the junior Celestial Remnant. Blapy had taken the misshapen coin and created a perfect hexagon, placing the mark of the Shattered Sun on one side and nothing on the other. Ruwen held the hexagon coin out to Blapy. Possible rearranging for better flow? Not just any coin, but a pure terium one Ruwen had created by condensing his own Spirit. Blapy had taken the misshapen coin and created a perfect hexagon, placing the mark of the Shattered Sun on one side and nothing on the other. That same visit to Fractal was where they’d met Xavier, the junior Celestial Remnant. Now, Ruwen held the hexagon coin out to Blapy. In moments, the two had disappeared into the forest of crystals. remove had “It’s not a thing. Her name is Cuddles.” "She's not a thing. (I agree with above about having Niall and Hamma go through the mark process. Even a single line, mentioning it would be good.)

A. F. Kay

I actually didn't add it because we've seen it so many times. Although, now that I think about it, maybe not in this book. I might be sensitive to the amount I do it but it's from other books. I will take another look at this. Thanks!

A. F. Kay

Haha.

A. F. Kay

Should be fun!

Robert Gunnlaugsson

As much as we’ve already seen people given the Shattered Sun Mark, it felt off to not at least mention that Hamma and her father went through the process.

CUDDLES!!!