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The Grey Warden - Chapter 3

🕑 Added 2022-07-14 05:28:34 +0000 UTC

Comments

A. F. Kay

Excellent points! Thank you so much. I have addressed all these.

Nick O'Roonling

Enjoying it so far but have 2 small niggles: 1) did we know there was an issue with his lungs? I didn't remember that from last week but that might be my fault 2) the wording on the removed poison seemed a bit clunky to me - "...that had filtered the poison out of my body." & "...from the poison Sister Vy had filtered out of my body." Both sections are very close to each other and use the same words (filtered, poison, out of my body) so felt a bit repetitive. Maybe try something like "the foul mess Sister Vy had drawn out of me" ..? Only other thing to mention is that I now realise I'd misunderstood something in chapter 1. I had originally read it that the PK made *purple* ink used for healing, and that was why the rest of the kingdoms depended on them, not that they produced *all* the ink for all the kingdoms.

A. F. Kay

I'm glad you enjoyed it!

A. F. Kay

That is great. Wednesday is here!

A. F. Kay

That is good news!

Matthew Baumann

So good!

Leonardo Krieck

Same as Tyler and Samuel. Love to read, want more badly rs. Thanks!

Samuel Strode

We have to wait another week for more I am not a patient man you have already drawn me in.

A. F. Kay

Thanks for telling me!

Tyler S.

Would love to read more. Thank you.


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