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Divine Apostasy Book 9 - Epilogue Part 1

🕑 Added 2024-01-27 08:08:25 +0000 UTC

Comments

A. F. Kay

Thank you for the feedback!!!

Nick O'Roonling

To me the section about the Clyspe was too exposition-y, it just didn't flow like most of your writing. The other bit that struck a off-note for me was the use of Spanish words, which then had an English translation. There weren't enough of them and they weren't unfamiliar enough to warrant the extra explanation. The only one I didn't know was the michelada, and before I reached the explanation (tomato beer) I just thought it was a brand name drink that didn't have a European presence. I would consider just having the Spanish word in and if people dont get it from their previous knowledge, they can get it from context.

A. F. Kay

Thanks for the comments. Do you remember which sections slowed you down? You can post here or just DM or email me. Thanks!!!

Inv7ctus

ASH CHAPTERS! I have been wiating for these so eagerly. Theres just somthing so special about seeing your main characters from an outside perspective.

Nick O'Roonling

You swap between la-z and laz-y at the start. And it might just be me, but it felt a bit clunky in parts

Samuel Strode

Ash looked down and frowned. “Hello Kitty?” Miranda smiled. She wished she could stay and watch as he tried to remove it. Miranda pointed. “Is that your grandpa?” Ash turned to look, and Miranda let her clone dissolve. Fifth vault p 468 - doc mcstuffens would be funny too