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Divine Apostasy Book 11 - Chapter 26v2

🕑 Added 2024-11-02 05:40:33 +0000 UTC

Comments

Kathleen Boyer

I like this version much better. The last one made it seem like he'd wipe the floor with the emperor and that seems wrong for him being so new to the destruction realm. Now this made more sense.

King Nereus

I was going to make a similar suggestion. If you meant Ruins manifested and now exploding glowing body construct then maybe make that clear here by saying “Ruin’s body” instead of “his body”. If the emperor actually died from being overwhelmed by the powerful voices and getting usurped due to Ruin dominating the towers (maybe the towers destroy him because there can be only one?), then maybe leaving it as is is the best thing, and any clarity for the reader in this can come later. I think it is good in a sense to leave the reader wondering either way, but a small amount of clarity on this may help here. As of the last posting of this chapter there was a debate if the original emperor was dead or not too, perhaps the intent was to leave us wondering?

Douglas Davis

"The Emperor had collapsed when the five voices had appeared, and the city burned with thousands of fires caused by his exploding body." I feel like this sentence needs more clarification. Does "collapse" mean died like imploded, or just fell to the ground? And since the sentence starts with the subject being the other shadow emperor, then it's automatic to assume the exploding body also being that of the emperor. So is the other shadow emperor dead? Or was the exploding body supposed to be Ruin's?


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