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367. Who's Your Daddy?
🕑 Added 2025-04-19 17:32:55 +0000 UTCIke walked into the alley alone, no one anywhere near him. He wandered along, looking around like he was some kind of tourist who’d just happened to wander into a random dark alley. A singular figure lurked at the other end of the alley, leaning against the wall.
Som looked up as Ike entered and smirked. “Well, well, well, look who it is.”
Yeah, like you weren’t lurking here for the last half hour, ya fuckin’ creep, Ike thought, but managed to restrain himself. That wasn’t the way to do premeditated self-defense. He put on a shocked face, but couldn’t go through with it, so he lifted his chin and looked down on Som instead. “Were you waiting here the whole time I was shopping? How disgusting. Isn’t it pathetic, waiting that long for me? Are you my groupie, or something?”
“Yeah, get him,” Wisp cheered in his ear.
Som flushed in fury. He narrowed his eyes at Ike. “You’ll eat those words.”
“I highly doubt it, but give it a shot. Just so you know, I am human, though your tiny brain can’t seem to comprehend that.”
Som drew his knives. A shadowy figure loomed up behind him, exuding a powerful aura. “Your insults mean nothing.”
“They don’t have to mean anything when they’re true.”
Wisp chuckled in his ear, highly amused. Som looked less so, glowering at Ike with dark eyes. The shadowy figure emerged from behind him, a pale man with dark hair and black veins standing out on his skin who threw back his dark cloak to glower at Ike as well.
“You’re outnumbered and weak. Give in now, and I’ll make you one of my personal pets,” Som ordered.
Ike glanced at his shoulder. Wisp hopped off and materialized as a human, a predatory grin on her face. “Nah. I think I’ll fight.”
To his credit, Som charged. To not-his-credit, he was whisked off his feet by a spider thread, summarily spun into a bundle, and hung on the wall in the next two seconds. The cloaked figure charged as well, but hesitated at the sight of Som so summarily dismissed. He eyed Ike and Wisp, seemingly very aware of the fact that he could be overcome by people who had lower Tier auras.
“Where’s the spunk? Come on, you’re the strong one. Give us a real fight,” Ike said. He drew the Hungry Sword but didn’t activate it, just holding it out as a threat. The sword shimmered bizarrely, the scale-teeth flexing in the sunlight.
The man’s eyes locked on the Hungry Sword, then flashed up to Ike. “Are you also a dark mage?”
Also? Ike looked at the Hungry Sword, then the man. “What’s a dark mage?”
Beside him, Wisp burst out laughing. “What’s a dark mage? Holy shit, Ike.”
“What? I’ve spent my whole life in the wilds. I dunno this city bullshit,” Ike said, shrugging.
“Dark mages are people that you can eat, and no one complains, even if they catch you,” Wisp explained.
Ike nodded slowly. He looked at the self-identified dark mage. “I am not the kind of person you can eat and no one complains, even if they catch you.”
The dark mage chuckled. He narrowed his eyes at the two of them. “You mock the dark arts?”
“Not really, I’m an idiot who actually doesn’t know, and she never thinks about anything but food, so. If you’d explain the dark arts, I could answer you better, but I’m starting to feel like not knowing what the dark arts are probably means I’m not a practitioner,” Ike said.
“Yeah, don’t be tempted by dark magic. It means I can eat you without consequences,” Wisp said.
“Is that all that’s keeping you from eating me? Consequences?” Ike asked, looking at her.
“No, but it becomes more tempting the fewer consequences there are,” Wisp said.
“So when we were out in the middle of nowhere, and you could have killed and eaten me and no one would ever know, I was in deep danger?”
Wisp thought for a second, then pinched her chin. “You know, I never even thought of eating you. Ike, you know what? I think you’ve been promoted out of the food category. You’re a friend.”
“Whoa,” Ike deadpanned.
“That’s even higher than mate territory,” Wisp informed him, patting his shoulder.
“Thanks.”
The dark mage glowered again. He was very good at it, probably because he did it a lot. Ike wanted to point it out to him, but based on his expression, he was fed up with their chatting. He approached them menacingly. Black energy congealed around his hands, and the black veins over his body throbbed.
“Oh shit, Wisp, he’s angry,” Ike commented aside, as if the man couldn’t hear them.
She licked her lips. “I like it when they get angry. It makes my premeditated self defense legal and justified.”
“I don’t know about that,” Ike replied with a chuckle.
“Let’s do the city a service and eat this guy,” Wisp said, cracking her knuckles.
“Take them down, Arkoz!” Som shouted from where he hung against the wall.
“Don’t eat Som. I think someone might be annoyed if we do that. I don’t know who would miss this piece of shit, but he certainly acts like someone would,” Ike commented. He spun his sword and advanced, narrowing his eyes. He’d been in a foul mood since Som had intercepted him outside the gate. He needed to beat someone up, and if this Arkoz dark mage guy was offering? He wasn’t going to turn the man down.
“What if I eat Som, and then more people come that I can also eat?” Wisp suggested.
“I like the thought, but we do need to find Brightbriar and shit,” Ike said.
She nodded. “We’ll do that afterwards, then.”
“Good plan.”
Arkoz’s body blurred. Ike laughed and jumped to meet him, already swinging his blade toward where Arkoz would land. A battle of speed? He’d picked the wrong guy to target.
