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The New Normal - 8-17

🕑 Added 2024-03-15 07:20:00 +0000 UTC

Comments

Vtec

Hey there! Appreciate all of the comments made! Thanks for both providing constructive feedback and also laying out clearly what you enjoyed/didn't enjoy about the story. It helps me write a better story since it's difficult for me to spot my own errors story-wise and allows me to make the relevant edits for what I should focus on before I publish a chapter. So thanks! Do appreciate it.

The Tallest Tree

I felt it would've made more sense for John to channel his hostility. For example, he knows he's bad at body language and concealing his feelings (beyond incompetent tbh) so why wouldn't he acknowledge that and frame his hostility as more from a business perspective. Maybe John tells Cyrus that his dream is all well and good but don't expect Indigo businesses not to compete. That way Cyrus doesn't see John as a threat to his world view but rather as a shark looking out for Kanto interests. Which for Cyrus is much less of a threat. I feel like you keep dumbing John down needlessly and so his choices seem stunted and counter to his abilities.

Cerber

Given the fact John isnt really trained to conceal body language, i would assume Cyrus is already aware John is suspicious of him. My thoughts tho are about how technological advanced the different teams are. These events are happening way ahead of OG timeline, so i wouldnt expect the different teams to have proper knowledge, connections, training and resources to achieve their goals so fast


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