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The New Normal - OMAKE - April Fools : Pokemon Mystery Dungeon
🕑 Added 2025-04-01 12:16:24 +0000 UTCThe New Normal – OMAKE – April Fools : Pokémon Mystery Dungeon
He had no idea why, but he had always wanted to climb Mt. Coronet. To reach the very top, and see the world from above.
But he knew he was no brave Pokémon. He was merely a Bidoof. A Pokémon known for their weakness and frailty. So in order to achieve his long-held dream, he knew he had to get stronger. And to him, the only way to do so was to join the Wigglytuff Guild.
He had been rejected and denied several times, but after he had trained himself some more, he was finally accepted into the guild. For so long, Diglett’s denial had haunted his dreams, but now he was finally allowed in.
Stepping into the Wigglytuff’s Guild for the first time, Bidoof was promptly greeted by the guild leader himself, Wigglytuff.
“Hiya! I’m Wigglytuff!” The famed guild master greeted him with a wide and friendly smile, “It’s always nice to see an eager recruit like yourself join us.”
“…Uh, yes… thank you, guild master.” He replied uncertainly, “I’ll try not to disappoint.”
“And I know you won’t!” Wigglytuff continued to smile, “Anyways, why don’t you get yourself oriented with Chatot? You came at a good time, we have an expedition that we’re planning to go on in a few days’ time. So get yourself settled in and maybe you’ll be allowed to tag along too.”
Really?! Being able to go on an expedition so soon!? He didn’t think he would be going on one so soon!
He bobbed his head quickly, “Yes! Certainly! Thank you for the opportunity! Yup Yup!”
“No need. Just keep up that excitement of yours. Remember, smiles go for miles!” Wigglytuff said, before his stomach suddenly let out a loud growl, “Ooh… maybe it’s time for me to get something to eat. Go speak to Chatot. I’m going to find myself another Perfect Apple.”
Wigglytuff walked away while humming a tune, “Perfect Apple!♪ Perfect Apple!♪ My only wish is for a Perfect Apple!♪”
…He didn’t know what that was about, but he quickly shrugged off the confusion. There was no time to waste! He had places to be!
So he quickly headed over to where Chatot was standing, eager to introduce himself and receive his first ever instructions.
=============
The next few days passed by in a blur, but that wasn’t to say that they were uneventful. No, between all of the orientation he had to go through and the last-minute catchup he needed to do in order to be eligible to join in on the next expedition, he should have been utterly exhausted. But despite all of this, he wasn’t tired in the slightest. If anything, he was still raring to go.
He would be going on his very first expedition! He wouldn’t pass this for the world!
Next to him were his new friends, Loudred and Corphish. Loudred was loud and extremely energetic, while Corphish was quiet but diligent. He felt like the two of them were complete opposites, but they seemed to have gotten along well.
He was snapped out of his introspection as Chatot began to speak, “Now, remember to always be polite to the humans helping to patrol the caves. Don’t forget that without them, the Wigglytuff Guild wouldn’t even exist! So I don’t know what your interactions with humans were before this, but I can fully vouch for these ones. They are friendly and will never try to capture you in a Pokéball without your say-so. So you don’t have to worry about them at all.”
They all nodded at that, though Loudred had more to say, “OH! OH! WILL THE LEGEND BE HERE TODAY?!”
“I’m not sure.” Chatot replied, “Trainers as powerful as him tend to come and go at random.”
“The powerful are often busy!” Wigglytuff nodded, “Especially one that has the taint of a Legendary!”
Ah. He knew what they referred to. He had sensed that trainer before. The trainer that stank of a Legendary – that terrifying aura that had caused him to run away in fear when he had first detected it. If he was a Pokémon that wanted to have a trainer, he wouldn’t be able to resist the allure of such a powerful trainer.
But he had always valued his independence more; the life of a trained Pokémon wasn’t for him. He didn’t know why, but the very thought of being captured in a Pokéball was deeply unsettling to him. He knew that the wilderness was his true calling.
Nevertheless, today was a very special day. The Wigglytuff Guild would be going on their most ambitious expedition yet, as their destination was none other than the infamous Mt. Coronet.
Normally, the Guild would generally only explore around the nearby caves that went under Snowpoint, as they were what was most convenient for them, but with the recent additions of new guild members (including himself!), the Guild had decided that it was time for something new. Something brave.
But it was absolutely perfect for him.
And so after Chatot double-checked all of their preparations and supplies, they set off for Mt. Coronet, taking in the sights as they went. Many humans looked at them with curiosity, but those familiar with the Guild often waved at them and would even sometimes give over any Apples that they might have.
Those Apples were instantly requisitioned by the Guild Leader. To no one’s surprise.
It didn’t take them long to arrive at Mt. Coronet. And once they did, the atmosphere had immediately shifted.
There was a lingering aura of destruction and terror that filled the empty caverns. Next to him, Chimecho let off a visible shudder.
“…There’s something wrong with this place.” She murmured, “It’s like… we shouldn’t be here.”
“Oh my gosh! Is it to do with that battle that took place?!” Sunflora exclaimed, “I heard it was pretty bad.”
“I THINK ‘BAD’ IS AN UNDERESTATEMENT! MANY POKÉMON WERE WOUNDED HERE!” Loudred shouted, “BUT THAT SHOULDN’T STOP US! WE’RE BRAVE EXPLORERS! WE KEEP GOING!”
“Well said, Loudred.” Wigglytuff nodded regally, though that was undercut by the fact that he was busy chewing down on another Perfect Apple, “Chatot and I’ve already done some scouting. It’s totally safe! And come on, don’t you want to see the statute of a Legendary itself? That’s the whole reason we’ve come here!”
That got people moving once again, and with careful steps, they climbed their way up to the top of Mt. Coronet. But their path to the top was not easy, as they were harassed by many different wild Pokémon that had decided to pick a fight against them. Not only that, but they had somehow stumbled into seven different Monster Houses as well!
It was fortunate that they had their Guild Leader with them, as Wigglytuff kicked all of their butts. He just went “YOOM-TAH!” and then all the wild Pokémon scattered away in fear.
Their Guild Master was truly beyond their comprehension.
With the strength of their Guild Master backing them up, the rest of the trip should have been smooth-sailing. But that was until a trio consisting of a Skuntank, Zubat, and a Koffing ended up stealing and running away with one of his Perfect Apples during one of the Monster Houses, causing Wigglytuff to chase after them instead of helping out with the battle.
When their Guild Leader finally made his return, Perfect Apple in hand, he was subjected to a harsh scolding from Chatot.
Despite these distractions, they did eventually make it all the way to Spear Pillar. Yet once they got there, the lingering, unsettling aura that had plagued them throughout their entire journey within Mt. Coronet was suddenly gone.
Instead, it was replaced by a sensation that every Pokémon was instinctively able to recognise in their gut.
The Pressure of a Legendary.
And, for some unknown reason, that energy was circulating around Bidoof himself, surrounding him like a tight cocoon. His form began to radiate with a pure, white light as he quickly began to absorb all of that Legendary energy. As he did so, old memories began surging back into his mind.
Ah, so that was what I was. How amusing that I had forgotten.
Eventually, the cocoon burst open, but the small figure of Bidoof was nowhere to be seen. Instead, what stepped out was the form of creation itself – the four-legged omnipotent progenitor of all.
Arceus.
“YOUR EFFORTS IN RESTORING ME TO MY TRUE FORM HAS BEEN ACKNOWLEDGED.” Their voice boomed out, echoing through the skies as if for all to hear, “SPEAK, MORTALS. YOU SHALL BE GRANTED A BOON FOR THIS ACHIEVEMENT.”
Spear Pillar was completely silent as the remaining members of the Guild were completely stunned by this unexpected turn of events. They couldn’t even meet its gaze, as they had immediately prostrated themselves to the ground in reverence and fear. They would not dare lift their heads in the presence of such magnificence and power.
…All except one.
“I want a Perfect Apple!” Wigglytuff demanded, smiling as easily as always. He was completely unfazed and unbothered by the appearance of their creator.
It was a completely absurd and ridiculous request. No one in the right mind would waste a boon from Arceus itself on something as stupid as a Perfect Apple.
But Wigglytuff was just built different. For a Pokémon that had already discovered the meaning of life itself, why else wouldn’t it wish for a Perfect Apple?
“THEN IT SHALL BE DONE.” And Arceus did not deny his request. With a flash of light, a Perfect Apple formed in front of Wigglytuff, who let out a squeal of happiness and instantly began to chow down on it.
With its boon granted, Arceus then disappeared with another flash of light, leaving the Guild alone once again.
They were all flabbergasted, confused, and reeling from shock. But every single one of them turned their eyes onto their Guild Leader, who had just let out a satisfied burp as he finished its Perfect Apple.
Then, as if he had just come to a sudden realisation, Wigglytuff flopped to the ground.
“…I’m so stupid.” He murmured to himself, “I should have asked for two Perfect Apples…”
The sounds of a collective facepalm echoed throughout Spear Pillar.
A.N. HAPPY APRIL FOOLS! Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I don’t know how I even managed to come up with this, but I hope you liked it anyways! Please don’t take it seriously.
Comments
Swampfox
Bidoof is god obviously
AkiCatR
Is this Bidoof the equivalent of Jesus Christ....? If you take Arceus as the Christian God.
