Malphegor
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MoP: Ch. 87
🕑 Added 2025-03-26 15:28:28 +0000 UTCThere was just one more thing to note.
"He hasn't exposed the fact that he knows magic, right?"
The three players shook their heads in unison.
Hedgehog replied, "He's just a glorified lighter. There's no situation where magic's been used."
"That's good."
I returned to the task of potion brewing, speaking casually.
"Give him a few more days of praying, and he'll naturally reveal his ability to use magic. Normal believers gain power through prayer, so he should follow through on the performance properly."
This anomaly would be enough to solidify LootGoblin's identity as a "devout believer," gaining more trust from the goblins.
A goblin who could use magic, even as a mascot, would naturally have higher authority.
The three players nodded in understanding.
"Wait a moment!" I stopped NeverShowOff, shaking the empty potion bottle he had just finished drinking.
"You just drank an entire bottle of slug mucus. You need to pay before leaving."
He covered his mouth in disbelief. "Slug mucus?!"
"Pfft!" Hedgehog stifled a laugh, patting NeverShowOff on the shoulder. "Don't worry. There are slugs all over the trees. Easy to find."
"We're heading off first!"
"Ahem, I've got something to do," Garble added, already halfway to the door.
NeverShowOff was left standing there with a look of grievance.
After he sulkily walked out, I glanced toward the door with a flash of insight in my eyes, still busy with my work. One bottle of slug mucus potion in exchange for a player's free labor?
Not a bad deal at all.
"At least I've offloaded this thankless task."
I tossed some purple potion into the cauldron and lit the fire.
"Perfect timing—my slug mucus is almost out."
---Third POV---
"Praise the Dark Tempter, praise the omnipresent God of Fear!"
A purple-black clay figure stood solemnly outside the corridor of the ruins, placing its hand on its chest in a gesture of devotion. After chanting all day, LootGoblin's prayers were now truly impassioned and heartfelt!
No choice—this was way more effective than fire magic spells.
Sure enough.
The goblin guards at the door, who had previously been expressionless, exchanged a hesitant glance.
Then, one of them chose to go in and report. Soon after, it came back out to invite LootGoblin inside.
Success! He cheered internally, striding into the room confidently.
Despite the summer heat, the interior of the room was cool and refreshing. It was a meeting room with a long stone table at its center. More than a dozen tall, elite goblins sat on stone chairs covered in animal hides, constantly grumbling and cursing.
Bang!
One of them, a muscular goblin draped in brown, striped animal skin, suddenly stood up.
"Those damned humans! Where are they hiding?!" Next to him, a more delicate-looking goblin made a sound of disdain.
"Glogg, how many times do I have to tell you? As an elite goblin, stop acting so barbaric, like a regular goblin!"
The regular goblins standing around the table showed no offense whatsoever.
They continued to serve respectfully.
"Barbaric?" Glogg's voice echoed through the room. His face flushed red-green with anger as he pointed at the wall, yelling.
"Skrizz died because of your stupid suggestion not to bring weapons when raiding the outskirts for offerings!"
"We're goblins! Why should we mimic those hairless monkeys?!"
LootGoblin, who happened to be standing where Glogg was pointing: "..."
Was this a bad time to show up? And who's Skrizz? Oh, was it that elite goblin who fought him over the bomb?
He blinked and quietly shuffled to the side. The movement immediately attracted everyone's attention.
Glogg's brows furrowed into a straight line.
"What are you?"
The elite goblins all turned their wary gazes on LootGoblin. His face, coated in purple mud, froze, his brain racing.
"Uh… well…"
Could he say that he was taking advantage of his high authority, as a stable "mascot," to roam around, scouting for intel to report back to HQ later?
In his mind, he was already whipping the two goblin guards at the door dozens of times.
Before LootGoblin could come up with a plausible excuse, the goblin shaman, Hassan, moved. He looked up, his eyes still filled with irritation.
"He's the lucky survivor from Skrizz's explosion!"
Even for elite goblins, their thought processes were still quite basic. What should have been a tactical discussion had somehow devolved into goblin bickering, exposing their true nature.
A chaotic mess of insults and criticisms flew around the table, rendering the meeting unproductive.
Hassan, now looking kindly at LootGoblin, spoke.
"Child, come here."
"Huh? Oh!" Unable to think of a reason not to, LootGoblin complied.
Hassan had a chair brought over for LootGoblin and placed it right beside him—in a semi-honorary position.
"He's just broken through to become a regular goblin. It's normal for him to lack etiquette. Let's continue."
A few snickers echoed below. The wary gazes vanished instantly. They had thought he was someone important—turns out he was just a baseline goblin.
Forced to break through to a higher form yet still retaining the size of a regular goblin… it was clear how poor his potential was.
Under the disdainful stares of the higher goblins, LootGoblin pretended to lower his head in shame. In reality, he was screaming internally.
No way! Is goblin organization really this loose?!
No warnings, no expulsion—they just let him stay!
A fake goblin like him, an outsider, had infiltrated the highest level of a goblin tribe's war council.
Staring at the massive, elite goblins towering around him, LootGoblin felt lost.
Reaching this level—was it sheer luck, or was the enemy just this incompetent? Perhaps because of the presence of "low-level goblin" LootGoblin, all the elite goblins seemed keen to maintain their dignity.
As soon as he sat down, the earlier argument at the door ceased. They began discussing the battle plan in earnest.
To flaunt his intelligence, Glogg recited every obscure term he could think of. Watching LootGoblin's increasingly bewildered expression, he smirked smugly and sat back down leisurely.
---
Goblins were this united? And they just spilled everything to their own kind?
While the players were still wasting time and effort scouting goblin personnel distribution and combat patterns, he just took a casual stroll.
And got all the answers! The goblins' organization was really loose.
Halfway through the meeting, one of the members suddenly insisted on eating first. Even though there was a huge enemy at their gates and they just heard explosions near the outer edge of the giant crater not long ago.
The elite goblins still chose to have a meal before dealing with the crisis. So, the meeting was temporarily adjourned.
"By the way, your name is…" Hasan stopped LootGoblin, who was about to follow them out.
"My name is LootGoblin."
The goblins exchanged glances. Glogg let out a derisive snort.
"LootGoblin? You named yourself after what you are?" he sneered, revealing yellowed teeth. "That's like me calling myself CleverGoblin or HandsomeGoblin." He cackled at his own joke. "Though at least one of those would be true!"
Several other goblins chuckled, but Hasan silenced them with a look.
"Hmm, LootGoblin," he said, stroking his chin thoughtfully. "Just wait here for us. We'll be back soon."
He gave a satisfied look at the goblin, who was wrapped in purple mud from head to toe. He hadn't picked the wrong one after all.
If it weren't for LootGoblin showing up, the meeting would've lasted at least until tomorrow. Since that was the case, he could stay here until the meeting was fully over.
"Huh?"
LootGoblin froze. Don't I get to eat too?
But then again, having a chance to eavesdrop on the combat meeting was worth skipping a meal. He quickly nodded and agreed.
"Don't worry, Shaman Hasan, I won't go anywhere!"
Hasan's gaze softened even more, and he gave LootGoblin a reassuring pat on the hand. He said a few more words before leaving.
LootGoblin rubbed the back of his hand where the elder goblin had touched him and shuddered all over.
Ugh—For the organization, I really am making a huge sacrifice…
Those sharp, grimy fingernails… If it weren't for the plaster—no, the purple mud protecting him—his skin would probably have been scratched open, and he'd be catching tetanus right now!
The in-game time moved so quickly that he didn't dare delay. He found a corner of the room, laid down, and logged out to report on the forums.
---
[Breaking News! Firsthand Goblin Inner Circle Ruins Intel!]
Players quickly popped up.
[ClankClank]: Oh? Isn't this my buddy? Haven't seen you online for days!
[LootGoblin]: Nonsense! I've only been offline for a day, okay?!
[CowardlySurvivor]: So, did you manage to map out the structure of the ruins or the patrol routes?
[Garble]: Did you locate the hostages or find the entrance to the inner circle?
[LootGoblin]: Uh… didn't find any of that
[LootGoblin]: BUT! Hear me out first—I'm short on time and need to get back online before the goblins finish eating!
He was afraid that if he kept chatting with the players, he'd forget all the intel he had just learned.
He quickly typed.
[LootGoblin]: The goblin nest currently has 1 shaman, 11 elite goblins, 56 great goblins, and 325 regular goblins with combat ability. Non-combatants like the elderly, weak, and women number between 700-800 (seems like something is happening that's causing this group to steadily decrease). In the chain explosions set up by CowardlySurvivor and the others: 1 elite goblin, 17 great goblins, and 98 regular goblins died. In subsequent player actions, 6 great goblins and 78 regular goblins were killed. Some non-combatants also died but weren't counted specifically
[LootGoblin]: I'll check this post for 5 minutes. If there's any urgent intel you need, tell me, and I'll see if I can get it.
[BigChest]: Wow, such precise numbers. Where did you get the data?
[LootGoblin]: Overheard it during the goblin meeting
[CowardlySurvivor]: !!! Did you bribe the devs?!
[LootGoblin]: The culprit should just leave on their own!
[Thor]: 200 goblins down in three days, with 7-8 days left… only 393 goblins with combat ability left. Looks like a sure win!
[Apple]: But not many high-level goblins have died
[Blade]: Tsk, tsk. Combat effectiveness seems a bit lacking. The three-day total results mostly came from the surprise attack on the first night
[Thor]: Hey, hey, cloud players need to acknowledge the difficulty of this game!
[CowardlySurvivor]: Exactly. In a game this realistic, you still want to take on a hundred foes alone?
Forget about fighting a hundred foes alone. Even in a one-on-one fight, some players might end up sweating buckets! Getting results like this was already players risking their lives.
The discussion somehow veered into game difficulty again. Most players were only level 2-5, with just one skill. Their strength and constitution, boosted by extra XP bonuses, were only slightly higher than regular goblins.
As for combat effectiveness… Let's just say players without melee combat skills were at a big disadvantage.
Beta testers vented about the insane difficulty, while cloud players tried to join in, urging them to demand goblin nerfs from the devs. But they were unanimously kicked out.
Complaints were one thing, but no one said they wanted changes! Sure, it was frustrating to lose to goblins. But the satisfaction of taking one down was completely different from mowing down enemies in other games.
Plus, the combat instincts developed in the game could actually carry over into real life!
Five minutes were almost up.
Some players asked for a goblin nest resource map, others for an attack-defense layout map.
LootGoblin rejected all of them. Such obvious requests would surely tip off the goblins. In the end, they'd get nothing and risk exposing his identity.
[Garble]: Then at least locate where the hostages are held, so we don't accidentally hurt them during the fight
[LootGoblin]: Great idea!
Finding hostages was much simpler than finding attack-defense plans, and there were plenty of excuses for it.
If they could get a sense of the number of goblin hostages, it'd also help prepare for post-battle resettlement.
[LootGoblin]: But don't worry about accidental damage. The innermost ruins have been refurbished by the goblins—they're super sturdy! With ProGamer_Daddy's shoddy explosives, you couldn't even make a dent in the walls!
[ProGamer_Daddy]: !!! Who's badmouthing me?!
[CowardlySurvivor]: Whoa, speak of the devil!
[Garble]: Aren't you supposed to be in the game at this hour?
[ProGamer_Daddy]: My new explosive formula had an issue. I just died and need someone to help me recover my body by the river
[CowardlySurvivor]: Ouch. The test site was by the river. At least the factory's fine
[Apple]: The factory's fine
[Thor]:I'm fine
[ProGamer_Daddy]: Stop questioning my skills! With our current conditions, making explosives with this level of power is already impressive…
[LootGoblin]: 5 minutes are up. I'm going back online!
[ProGamer_Daddy]: Don't let me catch you badmouthing me again!
